30 years tomorrow..
 

Is the day I took Pan Am flight (standby) and moved to US. Seems like yesterday and when I write 30 years even more unbelievable! How do I feel about it? Mixed - places I have seen, jobs I have had, very few folks I can consider friends - are the good things. Personally in terms of family and friendships - not good but nobody's fault.. Would I do it again? Don't know..

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

Where does time fly. :ohmy:

Difficult one to answer isn't it & an interesting thought.

If you were the person you were then, I suppose it would be likely.

If you were the person you are now?

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

indeed, I can relate to the OP

Would I do it again .... in a heartbeat, no looking back, with me & my other half, we are into our 48th year away from Blighty, as well as being round the block a few times. One thing just came to mind & don't know if anyone else thats been away from the UK over 25 years has thought about & that is 'it makes me wonder' what is the attraction or attachment to the UK!

'It changes a person' is the best way that I can describe it - in my case, for the better

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

Well, happy 30th, today! Time indeed flies. The thing is, what you imagine might have happened in Place 1, good or bad, would most like not have happened. Our imaginations and memories are positively biased. So if you have reservations about how things turned out in Place 2, don't dwell on them too much because there is no way of knowing "how things might have turned out". Be proud of all the interesting things you have done and all the little and big challenges you overcame.

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30 years is a long time! I'm trying to think what my life was like in October 1984 and to imagine what I may be like today had I emigrated at that time. Well done staying so long :) We could only manage 17 years!

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We've been away for 38 years but until quite recently (a matter of a few months ago) had never considered returning to the UK to live. We even, 7 years ago, bought a house in France to retire to next year.

But... because of the frail state of health of my FIL, we've now decided to return to the UK first (continuing to use the French house as a maison secondaire) for a while (whatever that turns out to mean).

So, for us, the attraction to the Uk is family. Even though we have more relatives in France than in the UK, but not ones needing our help.

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

I was a new graduate, moving to London, had never been to the US or given it any thought at all :lol:

An interesting anniversary for you, fulwood.

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

interesting & best wishes on all of that ...

For us we are stuck between 'a rock & a hard place' the reverse situation, in that my FIL (the old bugger) a widower for 10 years now, who at 95 years of age is physically as strong as a horse as someone in their late 60's (me).

He is a bit of a mithering bugger (to be expected I suppose), with my wife as his primary carer, & with my full support & patience, its the daily runs with meals, doctors, in the middle of the night calls - every beck & call. Even the geriatric specialist says that [Dad] is good to live on his own with help from us. Having visited several, he refuses to move to a retirement home

Although the old chap lives on his own in a 2-bedroom bungalow, a child of the depression, second world war vet that part of the D-Day invasion, recently passed his drivers test once again, has his Suburu, fully licensed & insured, drives himself back & forth to the bank along with some grocery shopping & his regular monthly barber - we are stuck for now.

My wife wont even make a day trip cross border shopping without several calls to her Dad.

I was saying to my wife that he will out live us and/or we shall be too old to make a leap of faith. So, for now, its a wait ....

Fortunately, we spent our late 20's & all of our 30's globe trotting ....

One can only smile. We all have our crosses to bear & are fortunate in some respects.

Best of luck Novo with your planned adventures into retirement

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

Thanks for the well wish and for that post.

My FIL is 87 but like your's (despite a myriad of more or less serious health problems) refuses to compromise.

He drove himself to France from Newcastle in July this year, then back to his home and less than a month later embarked on a flight to Lisbon for a River Cruise on the Doura accompanied by my wife (who took early retirement 2 years ago).

He's really quite remarkable and has my unreserved respect. I think he's how he is largely because (getting back to your point about the expat experience) he spent over 12 years in Tanganyka (now Tanzania) as a member of the then Colonial Service when he was a younger man.

My wife was born there.

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Wow Novo, that is a change for the books. We have also made a major change so I guess we all have to just go with what is right for us at the time. We cannot sell our house here and refuse to take a large drop as we will one day need that money! Instead of moving back to UK next year we have decided to give Canada another chance and if we get no sale between now and the 31st October will stay on in this house and make it our home for the next few years! At first I was gutted but now have overcome that as I realise that the timing is just not right for us now.

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

Life long learning, innit?

Sorry about the difficulty in selling your house. I think we're going to be luckier.

Around here things are very promising, in fact the house next door (same vintage, same sized lot but in much poorer condition than ours) just sold in a week for over asking price at $1.3 million. I'd be pleased with that amount, but don't really need that much so I think we can flog it next spring without difficulty.

Many a slip twixt cup and lip though.

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It wasn't until I read this that I realised I missed my own 30 year anniversary. It was 31 years ago and a bit (August 15, 1983) that I flew off to start a new job because jobs in the UK were scarce (sound familiar?)

The last flight was a Bahamasair flight through severe turbulence and a late summer thunder/lightning storm and people were screaming. Through chance, we (bunch of teachers all starting at the same school) spotted each other at Miami airport and I think there were more than a few who thought they were going to spend their last minutes with their new friends! Luckily the flight made it safely.

Lots of adventures and many regrets but as not2old says, it changes you.

I wish BE had been around in 1983 - moving overseas in 1983, it was almost like I had died in terms of keeping in touch. Many friends and family just stopped corresponding, and phone was just too expensive.

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

Happy Birthday! ;)

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

This. When I first moved to Southern California in 1977 a 3-minute phone call to the UK cost $13. To put that into perspective that was exactly 0.1% of my annual gross salary in that year.

This EP did not call home.

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

Ah yes, the old, 5 maximum 10 minute (oops that was half an hour) call days! And now video calling for free. Definitely one of the biggest improvements over the last few decades.

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Gosh Fulwood - you arrived here the same year as me - I came here in 1984 (well not here, but to Georgia) I lived there for 3 years, then moved back to England in 1987 - then came back to the US in 1990 and have been here ever since.

I totally get the "would I do it again - don't know" part of your statement. I don't know if I would - I don't hate it here, but the weird thing is, the longer I stay here the more things I find not to like and the more unsettled I have become. Yet I am probably stuck here as I think I would miss my kids/grandkids too much if I moved back. I know what you mean about the friends thing - I have "friends" here but they are not the real close friends I have in England and N Ireland (where I grew up) and I can honestly say if I were to move back, I would probably not keep in touch with them much.

Still I am sure that both you and I are not the same people we were 30 years ago - apart from us being 30 years older (and I am way older than you) I am sure our experiences have shaped and altered our personalities a little. Anyway - happy 30th anniversary (or not) - all the best to you. I know that you are contemplating a move back to the UK.

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Last paragraph above is generally the way it is.

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Hello Derrygal, small world eh! Yes you and others are right - we do change. The decision made 30 years to come here was made by a young woman, who had ambitions, dreams, desire to see father again etc. Now that woman is middle-aged and youthful dreams have faded, father has passed away (young like my brother), still have ambitions but tailored to a person who is aware of passage of time but still wants to see and do a few more things in life.. I will be moving back to UK for good but not right now.. I understand your reasons for staying here though - I would find it hard if I had had kids/grandkids..

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

Time certainly does get away on us doesn't it? It would have been 48 years this past June for me. Milestones make us very reflective on what's happened to us since and would we do it again. I think they can make your departure memories a little more vivid as well.

Last spring when the Titanic Centenary was observed I saw TV coverage from the docks in Southampton and even after all those years recognized them immediately. I was taken back to a night in late May, 1966 when as a young girl I amused myself skipping along the berth waiting for our ship to arrive (it was late) to take us to our new life. Some of that life turned out to be good, some of it not so good. It makes us the people we are. I don't think having regrets for the move serves any purpose (in my case the decision was out of my hands anyway) and the important thing is to be at peace and comfortable with the decisions we make today.

Some of you may remember that my DH and I met each other in the infant's class at school back in 1963 and parted company when my family emigrated, seemingly never to meet again. Then a few years ago, we reconnected on "Friends Reunited" and the rest, as they say, is history. We both feel certain in our own minds that had I remained in England we'd have ended up together as young people and we've lamented a few times about "all those lost years". He's bollocked my Dad more than once for dragging me off to Canada. :lol: However, we don't let it get us down and concentrate on being thankful we found one another again. The ship I left this country on docked in Halifax, Canada on June 1, 1966. I think that was the main reason I chose June 1, 2011 as our wedding day - on that day we came full circle.

Fulwood, I think I read in another post that you now feel ready to make your return. That in itself must give you a lot of comfort. I hope you'll soon be coming back for good, you deserve to be happy and home! All the best. :starsmile:

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

I love to read these stories. Every life is a unique and great adventure.

I came to the US in January 1980 to visit a girl I met in Paris. Then I took a Greyhound Bus across country to California. To save money, I slept on the bus at night then spent the days exploring St. Louis, Denver and Reno. In California, I became involved with a religious community and after yo-yoing between UK and US for 3 years, I finally settled in New York. So I must be over the 30-year mark too! America has been good to me but I’ve been feeling the call to go home for about 10 years. Having kids in school and a decent job here, with no prospects back home, has delayed that plan.

What is the attraction? I have family there and none here (my wife’s a foreigner too). Americans are good people but they are not my people. It’s been like lodging with a nice family rather than living with my own family. It’s just not the same and I have never quite been able to relax and feel at home here. The countryside here is stunning, but it’s not my beloved English landscape. Maybe as we get older, some of us feel a need to return to our roots and complete the circle. Others don’t. No reason why anyone should. No reason why they shouldn’t.

Every couple of years or so, I take a trip back to my hometown (Oxford) and get my rose-colored glasses knocked off with a slap in the face. I wonder why I ever thought of going back there. But still I do and probably won’t have any peace until I do.

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OdysseusLite - like the "lodging as opposed to living" comment. Kind of feel same way.

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Wow I feel alot like you, Iv'e always felt like a guest and 38 yrs later I still do, I go back every year or two and find things in the UK that I dont care for but still the pull for me is there, I Love The UK just feels right, its my kinda place, I feel safe there, many times going back to the airport is my dreaded trip, the flight back is even worse, still I have to say the people here have always been good to me, I cant bad mouth America.

The people the humour and the food are the big attractions in the UK, I just Love a good laugh and some comfort food.

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That's a ripper story, curlytops. I love to hear of Fate being kind to people :) Your emigration and wedding date is very auspicious (I'm only saying that because that's my birthday!)

I love reading all the stories on BE - those who went and stayed, those who went and came back again, and the ping pongers too.

Most of the stories and adventures I read on BE seem to begin when people are relatively young, which is probably the best time of life to begin life in a new country. I'll be in my late 50's when I move to Liverpool with Scouse, hopefully to live there for the rest of my life. I have no idea how my story will end, but I'll do my best to make it a good one.

I'm so grateful that we're not born with an inbuilt crystal ball, I think that would be terrifying!

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I left England a little over twenty eight years ago. At times I have wanted to go back, but realistically it is not a good idea. Thought about it a few times, but you can't bring back to the past, as they say. England has changed quite a lot since I left. I do go back for the odd holiday, though.

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

From one Gemini to another, that's the spirit! :thumbsup: