British Expats

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-   -   30 years tomorrow.. (https://britishexpats.com/forum/rovers-return-111/30-years-tomorrow-844202/)

fulwood Sep 30th 2014 8:49 pm

30 years tomorrow..
 
Is the day I took Pan Am flight (standby) and moved to US. Seems like yesterday and when I write 30 years even more unbelievable! How do I feel about it? Mixed - places I have seen, jobs I have had, very few folks I can consider friends - are the good things. Personally in terms of family and friendships - not good but nobody's fault.. Would I do it again? Don't know..

BEVS Sep 30th 2014 8:56 pm

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 
Where does time fly. :ohmy:

Difficult one to answer isn't it & an interesting thought.

If you were the person you were then, I suppose it would be likely.

If you were the person you are now?

not2old Sep 30th 2014 9:02 pm

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 
indeed, I can relate to the OP

Would I do it again .... in a heartbeat, no looking back, with me & my other half, we are into our 48th year away from Blighty, as well as being round the block a few times. One thing just came to mind & don't know if anyone else thats been away from the UK over 25 years has thought about & that is 'it makes me wonder' what is the attraction or attachment to the UK!

'It changes a person' is the best way that I can describe it - in my case, for the better

Shard Oct 1st 2014 11:48 am

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 
Well, happy 30th, today! Time indeed flies. The thing is, what you imagine might have happened in Place 1, good or bad, would most like not have happened. Our imaginations and memories are positively biased. So if you have reservations about how things turned out in Place 2, don't dwell on them too much because there is no way of knowing "how things might have turned out". Be proud of all the interesting things you have done and all the little and big challenges you overcame.

ElizabethK Oct 1st 2014 7:26 pm

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 
30 years is a long time! I'm trying to think what my life was like in October 1984 and to imagine what I may be like today had I emigrated at that time. Well done staying so long :) We could only manage 17 years!

Novocastrian Oct 1st 2014 8:51 pm

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

Originally Posted by not2old (Post 11423879)
indeed, I can relate to the OP

Would I do it again .... in a heartbeat, no looking back, with me & my other half, we are into our 48th year away from Blighty, as well as being round the block a few times. One thing just came to mind & don't know if anyone else thats been away from the UK over 25 years has thought about & that is 'it makes me wonder' what is the attraction or attachment to the UK!

'It changes a person' is the best way that I can describe it - in my case, for the better

We've been away for 38 years but until quite recently (a matter of a few months ago) had never considered returning to the UK to live. We even, 7 years ago, bought a house in France to retire to next year.

But... because of the frail state of health of my FIL, we've now decided to return to the UK first (continuing to use the French house as a maison secondaire) for a while (whatever that turns out to mean).

So, for us, the attraction to the Uk is family. Even though we have more relatives in France than in the UK, but not ones needing our help.

Sally Redux Oct 1st 2014 9:06 pm

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

Originally Posted by ElizabethK (Post 11424952)
30 years is a long time! I'm trying to think what my life was like in October 1984 and to imagine what I may be like today had I emigrated at that time. Well done staying so long :) We could only manage 17 years!

I was a new graduate, moving to London, had never been to the US or given it any thought at all :lol:

An interesting anniversary for you, fulwood.

not2old Oct 1st 2014 9:34 pm

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

Originally Posted by Novocastrian (Post 11425056)
We've been away for 38 years but until quite recently (a matter of a few months ago) had never considered returning to the UK to live. We even, 7 years ago, bought a house in France to retire to next year.

But... because of the frail state of health of my FIL, we've now decided to return to the UK first (continuing to use the French house as a maison secondaire) for a while (whatever that turns out to mean).

So, for us, the attraction to the Uk is family. Even though we have more relatives in France than in the UK, but not ones needing our help.

interesting & best wishes on all of that ...

For us we are stuck between 'a rock & a hard place' the reverse situation, in that my FIL (the old bugger) a widower for 10 years now, who at 95 years of age is physically as strong as a horse as someone in their late 60's (me).

He is a bit of a mithering bugger (to be expected I suppose), with my wife as his primary carer, & with my full support & patience, its the daily runs with meals, doctors, in the middle of the night calls - every beck & call. Even the geriatric specialist says that [Dad] is good to live on his own with help from us. Having visited several, he refuses to move to a retirement home

Although the old chap lives on his own in a 2-bedroom bungalow, a child of the depression, second world war vet that part of the D-Day invasion, recently passed his drivers test once again, has his Suburu, fully licensed & insured, drives himself back & forth to the bank along with some grocery shopping & his regular monthly barber - we are stuck for now.

My wife wont even make a day trip cross border shopping without several calls to her Dad.

I was saying to my wife that he will out live us and/or we shall be too old to make a leap of faith. So, for now, its a wait ....

Fortunately, we spent our late 20's & all of our 30's globe trotting ....

One can only smile. We all have our crosses to bear & are fortunate in some respects.

Best of luck Novo with your planned adventures into retirement

Novocastrian Oct 1st 2014 9:51 pm

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

Originally Posted by not2old (Post 11425102)
interesting & best wishes on all of that ...

For us we are stuck between 'a rock & a hard place' the reverse situation, in that my FIL (the old bugger) a widower for 10 years now, who at 95 years of age is physically as strong as a horse as someone in their late 60's (me).

He is a bit of a doddering bugger, of course my wife is his carer, & with my full support & patience its the daily runs with meals, doctors, in the middle of the night calls - every beck & call. Even the geriatric specialist says that [Dad] is good to live on his own with help from us. Having visited several, he refuses to move to a retirement home

Although the old chap lives on his own in a 2-bedroom bungalow, a child of the depression, second world war vet that part of the D-Day invasion, passed his drivers test once again, has his Suburu, fully licensed & insured, drives himself back & forth to the bank along with some grocery shopping & his regular monthly barber - we are stuck for now.

My wife wont even make a day trip cross border shopping without several calls to her Dad.

I was saying to my wife that he will out live us and/or we shall be too old to make a leap of faith. So, for now, its a wait ....

Fortunately, we spent our late 20's & all of our 30's globe trotting ....

One can only smile. We all have our crosses to bear & are fortunate in some respects.

Best of luck Novo with your planned adventures into retirement

Thanks for the well wish and for that post.

My FIL is 87 but like your's (despite a myriad of more or less serious health problems) refuses to compromise.

He drove himself to France from Newcastle in July this year, then back to his home and less than a month later embarked on a flight to Lisbon for a River Cruise on the Doura accompanied by my wife (who took early retirement 2 years ago).

He's really quite remarkable and has my unreserved respect. I think he's how he is largely because (getting back to your point about the expat experience) he spent over 12 years in Tanganyka (now Tanzania) as a member of the then Colonial Service when he was a younger man.

My wife was born there.

feelbritish Oct 1st 2014 10:16 pm

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 
Wow Novo, that is a change for the books. We have also made a major change so I guess we all have to just go with what is right for us at the time. We cannot sell our house here and refuse to take a large drop as we will one day need that money! Instead of moving back to UK next year we have decided to give Canada another chance and if we get no sale between now and the 31st October will stay on in this house and make it our home for the next few years! At first I was gutted but now have overcome that as I realise that the timing is just not right for us now.

Novocastrian Oct 1st 2014 10:25 pm

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

Originally Posted by feelbritish (Post 11425153)
Wow Novo, that is a change for the books. We have also made a major change so I guess we all have to just go with what is right for us at the time. We cannot sell our house here and refuse to take a large drop as we will one day need that money! Instead of moving back to UK next year we have decided to give Canada another chance and if we get no sale between now and the 31st October will stay on in this house and make it our home for the next few years! At first I was gutted but now have overcome that as I realise that the timing is just not right for us now.

Life long learning, innit?

Sorry about the difficulty in selling your house. I think we're going to be luckier.

Around here things are very promising, in fact the house next door (same vintage, same sized lot but in much poorer condition than ours) just sold in a week for over asking price at $1.3 million. I'd be pleased with that amount, but don't really need that much so I think we can flog it next spring without difficulty.

Many a slip twixt cup and lip though.

dunroving Oct 2nd 2014 9:31 am

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

Originally Posted by fulwood (Post 11423860)
Is the day I took Pan Am flight (standby) and moved to US. Seems like yesterday and when I write 30 years even more unbelievable! How do I feel about it? Mixed - places I have seen, jobs I have had, very few folks I can consider friends - are the good things. Personally in terms of family and friendships - not good but nobody's fault.. Would I do it again? Don't know..

It wasn't until I read this that I realised I missed my own 30 year anniversary. It was 31 years ago and a bit (August 15, 1983) that I flew off to start a new job because jobs in the UK were scarce (sound familiar?)

The last flight was a Bahamasair flight through severe turbulence and a late summer thunder/lightning storm and people were screaming. Through chance, we (bunch of teachers all starting at the same school) spotted each other at Miami airport and I think there were more than a few who thought they were going to spend their last minutes with their new friends! Luckily the flight made it safely.

Lots of adventures and many regrets but as not2old says, it changes you.

I wish BE had been around in 1983 - moving overseas in 1983, it was almost like I had died in terms of keeping in touch. Many friends and family just stopped corresponding, and phone was just too expensive.

Alfresco Oct 2nd 2014 9:39 am

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 
Happy Birthday! ;)

Novocastrian Oct 2nd 2014 2:17 pm

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 

Originally Posted by dunroving (Post 11425543)

Many friends and family just stopped corresponding, and phone was just too expensive.

This. When I first moved to Southern California in 1977 a 3-minute phone call to the UK cost $13. To put that into perspective that was exactly 0.1% of my annual gross salary in that year.

This EP did not call home.

Shard Oct 2nd 2014 4:42 pm

Re: 30 years tomorrow..
 
Ah yes, the old, 5 maximum 10 minute (oops that was half an hour) call days! And now video calling for free. Definitely one of the biggest improvements over the last few decades.


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