George Grapman

ground beef to be found there instead.

8 large cabbage leaves
1 lb. lean ground newborn human filets, or ground chuck
Onions
peppers
celery
garlic
soy sauce
salt pepper, etc
Olive oil
breadcrumbs
Tomato Gravy (see index)

Boil the cabbage leaves for 2 minutes to soften.
In skillet, brown the meat in a little olive oil,
then add onions, peppers, and celery (all chopped finely)
and season well.
Place in a large bowl and cool.
Add seasoned breadcrumbs and a little of the tomato gravy,
enough to make the mixture pliable.
Divide the stuffing among the cabbage leaves then roll.
Place seam down in a baking pan.
Ladle tomato gravy on top,
and bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes.



Umbilical Cordon Bleu

Nothing is so beautiful as the bond between mother and child,
so why not consume it?
Children or chicken breasts will work wonderfully also.

4 whole umbilical chords (or baby breasts, or chicken breasts)
4 thin slices of smoked ham, and Gruyere cheese
Flour
eggwash (milk and eggs)
seasoned bread crumbs
1 onion
minced
salt
pepper
butter
olive oil

Pound the breasts flat (parboil first if using umbilical

jbk

with wild rice. Or keep it simple with a
hearty main course such as stew, lasagna, or meat loaf.

Some suggestions

Pre-mie pot pies, beef stew, leg of lamb, stuffed chicken, roast pork spiral ham,
Cranberry pineapple salad, sweet potatoes in butter, vegetable platter, tossed salad with tomato and avocado, parsley new potatoes, spinich cucumber salad, fruit salad
Bran muffins, dinner rolls, soft breadsticks, rice pilaf, croissants
Apple cake with rum sauce, frosted banana nut bread sherbet, home made brownies
Iced tea, water, beer, bloody marys, lemonade, coffee

The guests select food, beverages, silverware... everything from the buffet table.
They move to wherever they are comfortable, and sit with whoever they choose.
Provide trays so your guests will not spill everything all over your house from
carrying too much, nor will they have to make 10 trips back and fourth from the
service stations.



Roast Leg of Amputee

By all means, substitute lamb or a good beef roast if the haunch
it is in any way diseased. But sometimes surgeons make mistakes,
and if a healthy young limb is at hand, then don?t hesitate to cook
it to perfection!

1 high quality limb, rack, or roast
Potatoes, carrot
Oil
celery
onions
green onions
parsley
garlic
salt, pepper, etc
2 cups beef stock

Marinate meat (optional, not necessary with better

Icono Clast

cornbread stuffing (see index)
½ cup melted butter

Remove the giblets from the infant and set aside.
Stuff the cavity where the child?s genitals and anus were located
using ½ cup per pound of meat.
Tie the arms flat to the body, then pull the skin flaps up to close the cavity.
Now tie the thighs up tight to hold it all together.
Place breast side up in a large metal roasting pan.
Bake in 325° oven covered for 2 hours.
Remove cover, stick a cooking thermometer deep into one of the
baby?s buttocks and cook uncovered till thermometer reads 190°,
about another hour.



Pro-Choice Po-Boy

Soft-shelled crabs serve just as well in this classic southern delicacy.
The sandwich originated in New Orleans, where an abundance of abortion clinics
thrive and hot French bread is always available.

2 cleaned fetuses, head on
2 eggs
1 tablespoon yellow mustard
1 cup seasoned flour
oil enough for deep frying
1 loaf French bread
Lettuce
tomatoes
mayonnaise, etc.

Marinate the fetuses in the egg-mustard mixture.
Dredge thoroughly in flour.
Fry at 375° until crispy golden brown.
Remove and place on paper towels.



Holiday Youngster

On

Rod Speed

break with a fork.
Cook a fresh pot of long grained white rice.



Pre-mie Pot Pie

When working with prematurely delivered newborns (or chicken) use sherry;
red wine with beef (buy steak or roast, do not pre-boil).

Pie crust (see index)
Whole fresh pre-mie; eviscerated, head, hands and feet removed
Onions, bell pepper, celery
½ cup wine
Root vegetables of choice (turnips, carrots, potatoes, etc) cubed

Make a crust from scratch - or go shamefully to the frozen food section
of your favorite grocery and select 2 high quality pie crusts (you
will need one for the top also).
Boil the prepared delicacy until the meat starts to come off the bones.
Remove, de-bone and cube; continue to reduce the broth.
Brown the onions, peppers and celery.
Add the meat then season, continue browning.
De-glaze with sherry, add the reduced broth.
Finally, put in the root vegetables and simmer for 15 minutes.
Allow to cool slightly.
Place the pie pan in 375 degree oven for a few minutes so bottom crust is not soggy,
reduce oven to 325.
Fill the pie with stew, place top crust and with a fork, seal the crusts together
then poke holes in top.
Return to oven and bake for 30 minutes, or until pie crust is golden brown.

Rod Speed

of life...

4 well chosen cutlets (from the breasts of 2 healthy neonates)
2 large lemons (fresh lemons always, if possible)
Olive oil
Green onions
Salt
pepper
cornstarch
neonate stock (chicken, or turkey stock is fine)
garlic
parsley
fresh cracked black pepper

Season and sauté the cutlets in olive oil till golden brown, remove.
Add the garlic and onions and cook down a bit.
Add some lemon juice and some zest, then de-glaze with stock.
Add a little cornstarch (dissolved in cold water) to the sauce.
You are just about there, Pour the sauce over the cutlets,
top with parsley, lemon slices and cracked pepper.
Serve with spinach salad, macaroni and cheese (homemade) and iced tea...



Spaghetti with Real Italian Meatballs

If you don?t have an expendable bambino on hand,
you can use a pound of ground pork instead.
The secret to great meatballs, is to use very lean meat.

1 lb. ground flesh; human or pork
3 lb. ground beef
1 cup finely chopped onions
7 - 12 cloves garlic
1 cup seasoned bread crumbs
½ cup milk, 2 eggs
Oregano
basil
salt
pepper
Italian seasoning, etc.
Tomato gravy (see index)
Fresh or at least freshly cooked spaghetti or other pasta

Mix the ground meats together in a large bowl,
then mix each of the other ingredients.
Make balls about the size of a baby?s fist
(there should be one lying around for reference).
Bake at 400°for about 25 minutes -
or you could fry them in olive oil.
Place the meatballs in the tomato gravy, and simmer for several hours.
Serve on spaghetti.
Accompany with green salad, garlic bread and red wine.



Newborn Parmesan

This classic Sicilian cuisine can easily be turned into Eggplant Parmesan
If you are planning a vegetarian meal. Or you could just as well use veal -
after all, you have to be careful - Sicilians are touchy about their young
family members...

6 newborn or veal cutlets
Tomato gravy (see index)
4 cups mozzarella, 1cup parmesan, 1cup romano

Jeff Hacker

"Icono Clast" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:1103976052.00fb068a01f72ba5469972fd7dd779ad@t eranews...
    > Jeff Hacker wrote:
    >> I'm a small businessman in the U.S. In my office, my hourly
    >> employees get the same benefits as the salaried ones - 5 sick days
    >> for each year of service (may be cumulative), plus two weeks
    >> vacation for the first 5 years, then 3 weeks. Plus retirement and
    >> a major medical plan (alhtough quite frankly I can't afford as
    >> good a plan as bigger companies. You can't make generalizations.
    > Somewhere in this long thread I mentioned that there are good
    > employers who treat their employees fairly. They probably get more
    > for their money than those who don't. Good employers who understand
    > their employees' needs create good workers who understand their
    > employer's needs. As I've always said, we're all in this together; if
    > either of us fails, we all fail.

I agree. BTW, My staff would kill for me - I've never lost an employee to a
competitor, whether for additional funds or working conditions. . . .

Jeff
    > __________________________________________________ ___________
    > A San Franciscan who's stickin' t'the union!
    > http://geocities.com/dancefest/ http://geocities.com/iconoc/
    > ICQ: http://wwp.mirabilis.com/19098103 IClast at SFbay Net

Rod Slow

Rod Speed wrote:
    > George Grapman <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected] ...
    >
    >>Rod Speed wrote
    >>>Icono Clast <[email protected]> wrote
    >>>>Jeff Hacker wrote
    >
    >
    >>>>>I'm a small businessman in the U.S. In my office, my hourly
    >>>>>employees get the same benefits as the salaried ones - 5 sick days for each
    >>>>>year of service (may be cumulative), plus two weeks vacation for the first
    >>>>>5 years, then 3 weeks. Plus retirement and a major medical plan (alhtough
    >>>>>quite frankly I can't afford as
    >>>>>good a plan as bigger companies. You can't make generalizations.
    >
    >
    >>>>Somewhere in this long thread I mentioned that there are good employers who
    >>>>treat their employees fairly. They probably get more for their money than
    >>>>those who don't. Good employers who understand their employees' needs create
    >>>>good workers who understand their employer's needs.
    >
    >
    >>>Sometimes they do, sometimes they dont, specially
    >>>when some damned union trys to get into the act.
    >
    >
    >>The best way for an employer to avoid a union is to treat their workers
    >>fairly.
    >
    >
    > Mindlessly superficial. In spades when fools like that one are 'workers'
    >
    >
At least they have jobs. That is more than you can say.

--
To reply via e-mail please delete 1 c from paccbell

EvelynVogtGamble

Rod Slow wrote:

    > Rod Speed wrote:
    >> Mindlessly superficial. In spades when fools like that one are 'workers'
    > At least they have jobs. That is more than you can say.

Well, be reasonable! Would YOU hire him? (Assuming he has
any marketable skills, which appears doubtful.)

    >

Rod Slow

EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque) wrote:
    >
    >
    > Rod Slow wrote:
    >
    >> Rod Speed wrote:
    >>> Mindlessly superficial. In spades when fools like that one are 'workers'
    >> At least they have jobs. That is more than you can say.
    >
    >
    > Well, be reasonable! Would YOU hire him? (Assuming he has any
    > marketable skills, which appears doubtful.)
    >
    >

I assumed he was either the chair of the English Department at a
major university or communications director for a large company.

chrisvillar

I have to admit that the employers have it pretty tough. My company is
small, about 50 employees. We are in a very competitive field and we
pretty much have to do what everyone else does as far as employee
benefits to survive. It isn't pretty but it is a cold fact of life.
My company does provide for unpaid leaves of absense. I think I am
going to have to start taking advantage of that. I'll just have to try
to negotiate my pay to offset taking a couple of unpaid weeks off a
year.