kompani101

I have tried to help people less fortunate than myself. I have put a Cambodian and Indian through school and college and now help my local village but mainly through practical means rather than cash handouts. We own a fishing boat which we loan to my brother-in-law and his family. We get fresh, free, fish in payment and they sell the rest of the catch. We go 50/50 on maintenance and he takes us and friends to the nearby island for R&R. His family benefits and we also benefit.

Philosophical 11

Greetings!

As I tend to post less than favourable reports of the family around here, I thought I would post something on a positive note.

Woke up this morning to find very little water pressure. After having coffee I decided to take my morning walk to the beach and I could then hear water splashing outside. The pipe to the outside tap had ruptured and water was spraying everywhere. Got my lovely lady to phone her father for the plumber, but he could not be contacted. Waddly's bf got to hear about it and appeared quickly on the scene. Said he could fix it. Like many Filipinos he has many latent talents but I was a bit dubious....but gave him the chance. Gave him some money to get some parts etc and he duly returned complete with receipt for parts to the tune of 140 peso. Half an hour later, fix was complete and looked a very professional job. For his efforts I wanted to give him 200 peso tip. He has no job yet. He tried to refuse saying that he was thankful for allowing him to live next door FOC. I persisted and eventually he accepted reluctantly. His thanks was very profuse. Bless him. A very nice bloke....

Regards

kompani101

We live in a fishing village and have, generally, good neighbours. Yesterday we had to lower our bamboo mast we use for broadband to add another LTE transceiver. 5 villagers helped as the mast is over 10m high and in a difficult location. On checking the bamboo, which is now two and a half years old, they advised we get a new mast. One went off on his tricycle and brought a new pole back and even had some change. They dug our hole for the pole a little deeper to make it more secure and erected the pole. We got them a crate of beer for their efforts. We also gave them the old pole for firewood.

Philosophical 11

Greetings!

To continue the saga for those who have been following...

The 30k loan was a big issue for me and decided to make a stand. The money apparently was to finance a big order....but I suspect that was not the case. She blamed her supplier for the delays, but I doubt if a supplier was involved. Despite various excuses it remained unpaid and issued an ultimatum saying that I will leave the country alone for my visa run and we will have to forego a holiday abroad because I no longer had the funds. Long story short. I was then promised it will be paid on a certain date and off we went on holiday together abroad for about a week or so.

The holiday was fantastic and we both enjoyed it which is documented on this forum.

The 30k was paid back as promised. But was it?

Whilst on holiday, I decided we would look for a birthday present for her and when we arrived back in Manila we visited her dealer. I was shown a gold necklace which cost nearly 14k. I didn't want to pay half that amount and said I didn't have the funds. She produced 15k which was half payment of the 30k owed. Apparently she received the money prior to the holiday and didn't inform me. Clever! So, I reluctantly forked out the 14k and made my beautiful lady happy. Sooo....I was halfway to reclaiming the 30k. But was I? When we returned home and on her birthday she wore the necklace once and once only. I asked why? Because it would be worn only on special occasions. But I don't think that was the case.

For some reason, I decided to inspect the necklace which was laying about and despite its relative bulk, it felt light. Instinct made me test the gold with a magnet which tested as gold plated...and not solid. None of her jewelry is plated but 18k gold. I guess she doesn't want to wear it because its tat. And probably not worth anywhere near the 14k I paid. I cannot prove anything but those are my suspicions. I have not yet mentioned this to her but will when the need arises. It will be saved for when I have to bring up the heavy artillery. I have not seen it since and if I see it laying around, I will bring the subject up with her....feigning surprise how light it is etc...and so on finally getting the magnet out and ask some withering questions.

She has received the remaining 15k on our return from the holiday and that it seems will be reserved to pay for her ongoing dental treatment. The bill for which is 11k so far. And this all started out with a toothache. Cue new prosthetics, rear denture, fillings and so on. I shall inspect the bill carefully when its all completed. 8 dental visits so far. But her beautiful smile is now more beautiful....but a tad expensive.

My UK bank account was suspended whilst I was away....due to multiple incorrect log ins. Never happened before. Her sister wanted to use my lap top whilst we were away..I refused. But its password protected. I noticed on my return that my personal folders in a drawer had been moved. Containing such info as bank details....but no passwords etc. Coincidence?

The pawning of jewelry goes on. Its now approaching 200k. Interest is 2.8% pm. Not sure if she is pawning to redeem pawned jewelry or she is using or about to use it all for something big. Invest in business? Help her family? No idea....all unanswered questions. I would have thought if she was going to embark on a business venture she might have mentioned it to me. One thing for sure....it is not going to end up in my lap. Next month might be interesting....the redemption duration for pawned items is 5 months. She started pawning heavily in Dec last year.....

So...that's how it hangs. Apart from all that, everything has been excellent between us. I have got my Legal capacity which lasts 6 months. I wonder if I will use it? We shall see.

Two nights ago, we were enjoying each others company and she looked into my eyes and asked a question. Can she borrow 30k to finance a big order? I said NO. Cue long face and I slept alone that night. She enjoyed the couch. Right as rain the next day. I have already stated that no more money is forthcoming for loans for her and her family. Maybe its beginning to sink in. Two days prior to that, she had pawned another 30k . Coincidence? As I said, next month will be interesting....

Regards!

Millhouse

You only stop milking a cow when; a) it stops producing milk, or b) it dies.

Raffin

Think you need at some time to lay some bait, as you need to know if you are being conspired against there. I suggest making a list of personal information with something that could well be your UK banking password scribbled at the end with one space indicated for perhaps a number or character to complete, "accidentally" left around somewhere. Might induce someone to try a few times and get the account locked again. Which I admit might give you more inconvenience (though you might be able to prepare for that), but that would be far outweighed by making your "Coincidence?" much less likely.

Stokkevn

Thank you for that Philosophical 11, I thought I had a complicated relationship until I saw your post. All my banking, email, computer access, investment IDs and passwords are held on password protected USB drive and with my brother in the UK. Her 'indoors' does not even know which banks I or my company use in the UK as I log in from scratch each time.

With respect to the suspended UK bank account I would have told my missus that I would be unable to get any money from my UK account for 3 months so tighten the belt - dried fish and rice only, followed by asking her for a loan. I am sure there would be some friction between family members that would indicate who had had a go. I think Raffin may have the right idea about leaving a bait password around. If there was a second attempt to access the bank account you will at least know the first one was not a mistake.

It is crazy that we have to be so secretive about our financials, even a Phil-Am told me I would be stupid if I gave anyone here my bank name yet alone details.

quiltman

Interesting update Philosophical 11. The login attempts on your UK bank do seem to infer ulterior motives! Like Stokkevn my bank info is both in my head and on a USB locked in the family safe. I do have a Bank icon on my browser but it goes to a bank website in Spain! anyone attempting to gain access would be sorely frustrated! If you've not cleared your browser history you should be able to see when access was attempted. Keep us updated as some of us learn a lot from your postings!

Philosophical 11

Greetings again,

I don't think the log ins came from my lap top which needs a password to gain access. However, on my return I did check my browser history and there was nothing during my absence away.

But it may be a coincidence... Just as I have also had to change the password on one of my e.mail accounts and FB after receiving security warnings..... !!

Had a bit of a row last night and I casually dropped into the conversation the issue of the necklace. She said that she didn't notice that it was metallic and nor did her pawnbroker! However, she will take it up with her supplier. I will leave that there....my point has been made.

She is away at the moment having a girlie weekend. She noticed I was not on-line last night and sent her father and her brother around to the beach where I was chugging a few ales....(as you do when missus is away). Anyway, that is strictly forbidden. I invited them for a few more ales on the beach and then back to the house.....for a couple more. She messaged me after they left demanding to know why I was on the beach...whilst she was having a girlie night out. Cue the row.....

All is fine this morning...

Happy days..

mikek1

You do not need a crystal ball to see where this saga will end. Has many have suggested it’s time you and your l/l moved a considerable distance from her sponging family. Maybe (and it’s a big if) her attitude towards siphoning money to family may change.
You have been far too generous and trusting.

nonthaburi

Interesting to read about the bank stuff. Not exactly the same but not exactly dissimilar, we've recently purchased another property. My wife's nephew and his wife had been doing a bit of maintenance while we were in Saudi so he has a key.

It's only now that my wife is back in Thailand and furnishing the house. She is adamant that big chains must be bought for the front gates and locks changed because of the key the nephew has and may possibly have copied.

His past history of substance abuse didn't work in his favour.

Marry an orphan as someone once told me.

ChrisKVie

Interesting thread and an incredibly patient writer.

Back in my military days and when doing map reading we were taught a saying ' Map to Grid Get Rid' - It referred to magnetic variation when taking a compass bearing. But dare I say it sort of hits the spot here.

Stokkevn

Bog standard reply is "Having the same as you, a girlie weekend" I have now replied this way for so long now I normally get a reply in line with " Yeh, right, more like a Granny weekend". Although there have been a couple of occasions that she has managed half a k over rice fields in the dark quicker than Usain Bolt only to find me, the dogs and half an empty case of beer - excuse - she needs to use the toilet.

Tweedpipe

I continue to read this thread, not only with great interest - as it's so very well written, but also admit to being aghast at the gullibility factor involved.
What keeps returning to my mind are two sayings from my father (bless-him) many years ago.
1. "Never, ever lend money"
2. "A fool and his money are soon parted."
I'm still thankful for that simple but incredibly valuable advise.
I still thank my lucky stars that years ago I met and married a chic, average working-class French lady. She is given the weekly housekeeping money, has ready access to our bank account in both names, but has never once abused it, and now 40+ years later has never once asked for a cent. After reading this thread I feel I should be known as the contented frog prince.
But please, do continue with your stories which make fascinating, albeit unenviable reading.

Philosophical 11

Greetings!

Thought I would update and announce a revelation that has come to light....which can be game changer.

The 30k has now been repaid.....but not to my satisfaction.

15k was used as previously mentioned to buy her a gold necklace for her birthday. This cost 13k and I have not been offered the 2k change. The necklace appears to be gold plated and most probably not worth what I paid. I think I found a pawn receipt for 2k which fits the description of the necklace. I confronted her with the magnet test and she got her supplier to dispute that test as valid. She stated that alloys within the gold can be magnetic. This is false. Even 10 carat gold contains no magnetic material. Now she knows this because I have seen her run a magnet over bought items. I showed her aYoutube video proving my point which I suggested she sent to her supplier. I warned her that her supplier is cheating her and to be careful. I pointed no finger at her. She remained silent and offered no comment.

The other 15k was for dental treatment. She presented me with an authentic but non-itemized receipt for just over 11k. A further receipt for 3.2k could not be produced for the remainder. The reasons were too complicated to even try to understand.

Her pawning continues and now the total is about 250k. I don't believe she has that amount to pawn but is repawning to redeem her jewelry. Interest rate is 2.8% pm. 5 month redeem period. The reason is a mystery. If the money was for a business venture, I am sure she would tell me. If it was for her family, then the opposite is true. But the revelation which I found out today may provide the answer.

A close expat friend disclosed to me today that rumour has it that my lovely lady is the mother of 2 children. He has known for about a month and its common knowledge amongst my close expat friends and their wives/gf's. The father is a tricycle driver in the next village and I have unknowingly met her children. The two boys call her Auntie. I don't recall such meeting, but.....her parents as I have mentioned before, are looking after 4 boys for distant relatives who cannot afford to care for them. Perhaps I have met them unknowingly on numerous occasions...

I am going to try and discreetly find out more about this rumour which I find hard to believe....but nothing surprises me in the Phils. At the right time, I will drop the rumour into a conversation with her.

Thanks for your comments and interest. Thanks to those FB friends who continue to remain discreet.

Regards