morpeth

No apologies necessary, I find it interesting the cultural family dynamics you describe as it reminds me of my time in the Philippines. Great you have more distance from the family.

Philosophical 11

And now for something completely different.....Facebook.

This appears to be an obsession for my lovely lady and most of her time seems engrossed in it oblivious of what is going on around her. This not a complaint...but an observation. If the house caught fire whilst she is on fb, then I doubt if she would notice. Bar taking a selfie on the way out of the dying embers maybe. Pointless talking to her whilst she is on fb....I would get more response from a brick wall. She must have about 1 million friends, well....about 1500 to be precise. Constantly chatting for hours on end about what, I do not know. She is a member of a fb group called Foreigners Wives or something like that where mostly the posts concern personal problems with relationships. But the main topic of this group appears to be questions about their foreign partners. Such as: Can he still climb the mountain, how many rounds can he go, is he circumcised and of course how much allowance each gets. Ok, a lot of the time she uses facebook for her on-line shop but I am staggered how she takes a deep interest in peoples profiles...their friends....friends of their friends. A comment requires deep investigation of the profile and their friends and so it goes on. Not just her face book.....but mine as well.

This may be partly due to the fact that most of our time together is that we do not do much, apart from the odd excursion on our bikes, shopping and twice daily walk to the beach. As I say, I am not complaining....except when she does not hear a thing I say when she is busy scrolling through the pages or her thumbs are going 10 to a dozen.

I use fb also which started 7 years ago for the purpose of finding a long lost friend. Once found, fb became dormant for many months and when I dipped into it, I found family and friends wanted to be added and then I became a regular user. I post a few times a day but mainly light hearted frivolous posts designed mainly to bring a smile. But there is an occasional rant. Fb is good for keeping in touch especially now I am here in the Philippines. For my lovely lady.....its a way of life.

All is sweetness and light here and has been since the last "episode". I am now helping with the washing up and ironing which is what I wanted to do in the first place. Initially when we arrived here I was banned from washing up because I left a soap bubble on a plate and she was not impressed with my ironing. Telling her I have done both of these things years before she was born fell on deaf ears. I have a contact number of a "washing lady" but she appears not to be interested. Fair enough.

Still in the process of divorce and financial settlement. Life will become more interesting after that. Hopefully not traumatically interesting.

Regards

mikek1

I too have noticed that facebook and texting are a like an epidemic here.The level of concentration for others whilst viewing facebook or texting is non existent. I find this annoying but more important down right rude.
I do not post on facebook, I have seen first hand the repercussions that the 'wrong' statement or message can cause.


Mikek

Philosophical 11

Agree with you Mikek. She used to view fb when we were together on the beach but not any more thankfully....As you say its down right rude.

Also as you say, comments can be misinterpreted because there is no mood or tone conveyed in the written word. The tone of voice or the manner of what is said is paramount in communication. Written comments can be easily taken the wrong way. Certainly happened to me sadly.

Regards

morpeth

FB is an epidemic in my opinion. I wonder whether in some distance Sci Fi movies it will show humans genetically altered so FB access is through their thoughts, until a " night out" is through FB. I am amazed how addictive it seems to be.

Gazza-d

Too many people look on FB as being their window on the world and forget it is also the worlds window on them.

Philosophical 11

Greetings,

I mentioned last week that Sloth sister has now got a job after lazing around for 9 months. They need her wage to help pay for the rent for the mansion that they are now living in. Well....it seems she no longer has a job for the time being that is. This is what I understand has happened...and "Only in the Philippines" comes to mind. Her father who is friends of the Mayor here asked him to get Sloth sister a job in the City Hall. Now, normally to obtain such a job, one requires to pass the Civil Service exam which she failed last year. But that is not a problem, because hardly anyone working there has passed the exam. And job vacancies are given to "friends of friends". She pitches up and there is no job....so they farmed her out to the Tourist Office. No job there either. Her father cannot speak to the Mayor about it because he is away somewhere and no idea when he will be back. So that is how that hangs. Hope they can pay the rent for their new mansion this month.

Agree that FB is a two way window. My lovely lady is open about our relationship on her fb whilst I am trying to be discreet on mine. Because I am discreet, it does on the odd occasion upsets her but she broadly understands. I will be glad when the divorce etc is finalized and I can put that to rights. But I hate it when she hangs our dirty washing out to her 1500 fb friends. So immature, but as her friends all know me, I think she makes a fool of herself. Fortunately she gets very little fb reaction on these posts which I think confirms that.

All for now. Toilet wants fixing.

Regards

quiltman

Pleased things between you and your GF seem to have settled down . The FB thing is "normal" here. I am amazed at the things our Filipina friends post about that we would consider indiscreet. Still, makes for interesting reading.
I look forward to hearing how your relationship adjusts when your divorce is finalized!
Maybe that should be "Me and My Philippine Family - Part 2 - After the divorce" ??

Philosophical 11

Strange morning so far....

She announced that she was taking an early morning jog with her gf. Gets up with her and she tells me a rat bit her during the night....(saw a small one about 10 days ago but blocked up the hole). Shows me a small cut on her finger. Thought it was odd because I would have expected shrieks and woken me up. But no...she went back to sleep. Goes off for her jog (cue 36 selfies on fb) and I went for my usual walk to the beach where I met her and her gf. She wanted me to go home but I had not finished the walk. I have my own key now so I can let myself out now. Before she would say she is off to the bank (should be 30 mins max)....comes back 3 hrs later. And I am locked in the main gate. Met her gf apparently. Followed a few days later with needing to go to the city hall. (should be 1hr max....comes back after 3 hrs) Still locked in the gate. Went to the local airport with a few of her family apparently....21 pics on fb. Anyway...I digress. Gets back from my walk and she is not too impressed. Obviously I have been up to no good. Finds she is re-arranging the furniture in 3 rooms and cleaning. This is a danger sign. I volunteered to get some rat poison and returned. House is still upside down. Thought I had better do the washing up.....as you do in circumstances like this. She had a shower and is doing the dying swan act....in the bedroom. Now asleep. This means she is too tired to make dinner from previous experience. Guess I better wake her...make the necessary cooing noises and take her out to lunch. That should do it. Funny things are Pinays....never understand them.....probably never will.

Regards

fulwood

I just wanted you to know I thoroughly enjoy your writings..

Stokkevn

I am glad that I am not the only one to have their other half savaged during the night by a wild beast ( extensive search of the bedroom came up with a tick, that most likely came off the dog, to save dog, said I found nothing ). Instead of rat poison, tell her you will get a python to deal with the rat problem. You will find rats are no longer a problem.

I have also fallen foul of leaving a soap bubble on the washing up, the way she went on you would have thought I had drowned one of her nieces.

morpeth

I enjoy as well as the on-going saga reminds me of my time in the Philippines. The culture is a unique blend of Malay and Spanish and some American influence, and never boring observing the daily drama.

Philosophical 11

Many thanks for your comments plus the complimentary remarks. I shall drop a hint about how good a python is as a pet. Also will be a good guard and rat eater. It worked about getting a dog for the gate problem....I rarely have problems with the gate being unlocked.

Took my lovely lady to lunch to recover from her rat bite, or whatever was bugging her.
Where she emulated worm boy and wolfed down a nice fried chicken plus a side plate of whatever it was. Now she is happy as Larry.

Thing that bugs me a little is that I give her 15k pm for food plus household things such as rat poison. We have an agreement that if we eat out, she pays. Seems fair to me. She gets the allowance. Previously, if she had been busy or whatever, she suggested going out to eat....and she coughed up. The money that is. But she has latched on that if she does the dying swan act then I take pity on her and take her out. And I pay. Again...its not the money. But the principle. On the beach she will now invariably have a bite to eat of something in the evening and of course being the gent....I pay. My evening meal will be something like toast and jam which she prepares. Well....the toast that is. Yes....maybe I am nit picking. Might be better and cheaper if I gave myself the 15k allowance. Bet I will get some change out of that.

Regards

Millhouse

If I were you, I'd buy the rat poison and the jam. You don't want the two being mixed up in a dramatic fit.

Philosophical 11

And now for something completely different.

I have a foreigner friend who has recently left here to return to his country and will be away until end of February. My lovely lady and his gf get on really well and they spend a lot of time chatting etc. A couple of days ago, my lovely lady confided in me that she thinks her friend is having an affair with a pinoy here. This was based on gossip. I take gossip with a pinch of salt but hearing more and more detail I am 95% certain she is having an affair.

Now, my foreigner friend is very intelligent and very wealthy. He has various houses in SE Asia, one here and another in his home country. He and his gf travel around SE Asia and indeed when he comes back, they will be off together for a few weeks abroad. He has brought the house here in the Philippines and its registered in her name. He is currently about to have another house built by the shore and is also having a fishing boat built to be run by his gf's brother. As I say, he is very wealthy.

Now, here is the rub. He is sending his gf 10k pm whilst he is away.....but his gf has started to spend a lot of money on gold jewelry bought from my lovely lady. This has been kept a secret from him. Where is she getting the money I hear you say. The foreigner asked her to buy a plot of land by the beach so he can have another house here. Apparently, the asking price for the land was 400k, but she has a receipt for only 200k. When I first heard this, my eyebrows shot up like roller blinds....this was a few weeks ago. But I thought....ah, but this is the Philippines and thought no more of it. Until now. Maybe she has creamed off 200k and that is where she is getting her money.

Here is the second rub. The pinoy in question has recently acquired a new motor cycle which he is keeping secret from his wife. He has also acquired a new mobile phone which his wife knows nothing about. He works in a shop and therefore not a big wage earner and is supporting his wife and 4 kids.

The pinoys wife is convinced he is having an affair and is sick from worry and in a bad way. How do I know that? From waddly sister. Waddly works for the Brgy Families Office and she is helping the woman gather evidence to trap this "other woman". It only came to pass a couple of days ago that evidence pointed in the direction of my lovely ladies gf. I wont go into the evidence here for the sake of brevity. Once sufficient evidence is obtained, the wife will inform the foreigner. The pinoy and his wife know my foreigner friend and his gf really well. He works in a hardware shop where my foreigner friend is buying building materials etc.

Now my lovely lady has got herself involved in this although she has only heard the strong rumours. Her gf has kept it a secret from my lovely lady. For the past week, my lovely lady has been getting up to go for a run/exercise on the beach very early with her gf. (In reality...50,000 selfies for fb). But the pinoy in question meets them on the beach...not by coincidence. Although nothing can happen on a public beach, we think she gets my lovely lady to be with her when she meets him to avoid the two of them attracting suspicion. Seems my lovely lady is being used. Although she doesn't appear to mind because she thoroughly enjoys her company.

Sooooo......we are just about sure my foreigner friends gf is having some sort of affair with this pinoy. And very possibly ripping him off. What to do? Do I let him know or ignore it and let the affair take its course. At the moment I do not aim to do anything except maintain a keen interest. He is a very intelligent man and I am sure he can smell a rat better than I. After all, this is his 7th gf here.

Regards