Millhouse

Sorry to hear this . I must admit the continual leaving and packing of bags would piss me off. I would lose all respect and by that time the relationship for me is dead.

My girlfriend once said I treat her like a maid.

I replied... Nah, I wouldn't **** the maid.

Amazingly she laughed.

I'm not suggesting you try this approach.

Philosophical 11

Thanks Millhouse...

Had to smile about your comment about the maid!

Yes....it is cheesing me off also. She must have left the house about half a dozen times now. It does not bode well. Next time will be last....I am tired of it.

One thing for sure though, I will not be paying for a helper to do the washing. She has enough money of her own and I have spent enough on her family who should be helping out. Next time its brought up, I shall tell her to charge waddly sister for the free electricity, water and internet she currently enjoys to pay for her help. Cat amongst the pigeons come to mind.

Off to the beach....for a swift half. Lovely lady is out looking for a house for her parents with a gf. Although they seem to spend more time shopping and eating.

Expecting the 50,000 questions....

Regards

Jerseygirl

I honestly do not know how you put up with her tantrums and sulks. Her bahviour is akin to that of my 2 1/2 year old granddaughter.

You must be a very patient man.

Millhouse

it must be the watermelon as the dinners don't sound too great.

Philosophical 11

Jerseygirl,

You are correct. I am a very patient man.....but that patience is nearly exhausted. And yes....she acts like a child sometimes. And after nearly 2 years, I am getting fed up with it.

When she left me a couple of days ago, we were messaging each other about being treated like a maid. I mentioned that people like me do not help out maids families in the way I have done. This was dismissed by her and said her family was her responsibility....and not mine. No thanks there then. Today, she found a house for her parents with rental at 5k per month. Paying 2k at the moment. They had to put down 2 months advance rent but could only scrape 7k between them. She asked me for an advance of 3k on her allowance. Of course I said yes. So much for her family being her responsibility.

Sloth sister has now got a job....at long last. She will be expected to contribute toward the extra rent.

I think I have found her someone to do our washing and made it clear it will come out of her allowance. Hope she is young and a nice looker. We might have a jealous lovely lady if that is the case.... And she may think better of the idea.

But yes.....I have serious doubts about her. Not because she is a scammer, which she is not. But as a mature woman.

Regards

mikek1

I don't know how you can put up with such a moody g/f. You have spoilt her something rotten.39k a month is a lot for someone who has basically nothing. Get on your bike and find another g/f, this time learn by your obvious mistakes.

Why not take off for a couple weeks without leaving any funds, and see what happens.........I imagine she will change her outlook, although will be back to her normal moody self very shortly after.

I have said all along I don't think this relationship will end well............I will be proofed right.My experience of 23 years of going to the philippines has given me a solid sensible knowledge of most aspects of culture and understanding of life here.............move on before its to late.

Sorry 'to rain on your parade ' but you have the wrong girl there. Any girl hooked to Facebook spells trouble

Mikek

PS. Your welcome to stay with us if it helps sort out any future misunderstandings.

Gazza-d

I'm sure she is under a lot of family pressure to keep the relationship alive, just not very good at emotional blackmail.

Stokkevn

I think they must all try this "You treat me as a maid" argument. My missus tried it a few years ago and considering I do half the household chores I thought it was bit of a cheek. So I said that if she felt like that she could move into the empty maid's bedroom downstairs and I would pay her the local going rate of P2,000 a month. Seeing an evaporation of over 90% of her present allowance ( personal pocket money ) she quickly decided that the position of wife was a far better proposition than her possible 'maid' position. Never heard any more about it.

Stokkevn

I think there maybe a conflict in gf loyalties. She has found someone she wants to spend most/all her life with, namely you. But she is getting pressure from some/all family members to get her to get you to become the family financial supporter. I can imagine that the position of 'piggy in the middle' is not a nice place to be for her to be in. Unfortunately living that close to that many family members makes it even worse. A friend said that the closest you want to live to the wife's family is a P250 bus ride away. And I think he is right.

scot47

Time to ask her what she thinks about polygamous marriage.

morpeth

Reading this thread from the beginning made me think moving away from her family members would solve half your problems.

Going somewhere with her for two to three weeks away from her family members, and buy her a present normally you wouldn't, is what I would do. Being away from family pressure for a few weeks might show you, and her, that the real problem isn't her being treated like a maid. And maybe also allow you to re-evaluate your own actions as well. All relationships have their ups and downs, and the drama culture of the Philippines ( which I ascribe to the Latin influence) is difficult to figure out sometimes.

Go on a trip with her for a few weeks, any where but away from her family.

David Mashael

Hi
You already know my feelings on your relationship with this lady. Some have suggested that you must be a very patient man, to me it is not about being patient. One can have patience with a situation that is taking time to develop and improve. Your situation is not improving, it is going downhill and no amount of patience will help that. It has also been suggested that your gf is caught between family obligations and her loyalty to you. That may well be the case, but her behaviour is still unacceptable. I know from your earlier posts that you feel in some way obligated to her as you feel that she gave up her job in Kuwait to be with you. That is what love is about and it should have been her desire to give up the job to be your woman without you feeling responsible in some way.
I really cannot see any way that this can end well for you.
As always, wish you all the best as you sound like a decent guy and you don't deserve to be treated like this.

Philosophical 11

Greetings once again,

First, many thanks for your responses which I appreciate. Mike1, especially for your kind offer.

I don't think there are any family pressures on her now. They know that they cannot get any more money out of me and all I am giving is 3k pm for the fathers medicine. Yes...and waddly sisters free accommodation. Lovely lady could go back to Kuwait and supply all that easily. And I am sure she will happily do that.

I think I know the reason for her latest moody bouts and the maid outbursts. I received an e.mail about a week ago in response to a query I made to the family court where my divorce is being processed. My decree nisi was pronounced on 22 Sep and we have been waiting for the decree absolute through the mail. I asked for an update on the proceedings. I was told in the e.mail that the decree absolute has not been applied for by my estranged wife. This I presume is due to the on-going dispute over the financial settlement. This came as a big disappointment to her thinking that the divorce would be pronounced any day now and perhaps caused this behavior. But even then....the behavior is in-excusable.

I can tell you that this behavior has had a bigger effect on me than anything she has done in the past. I don't know why that should be ....maybe it was more hurtful. But it has certainly damaged my feelings toward her. I hope that can be repaired but she is now in last chance saloon. I will not take any more of it. However, it is fair to say that she is back to her loving self ....how long for? We shall see.

The family is about to move into a 4 bedroomed house and its about 30 mins walk away....a lot longer than the 5 min walk away now. They move on Wednesday and I have volunteered to help the move. From what I can see, they only need 3 bedrooms....which means there is room for waddly sister. Or my lovely lady. Waddly spends most of her free time at her parents house and I am just hoping that the distance is too far for her to waddle back and forth a few times a day. I might be disappointed on that one.

Got a cheap e.cig gift the other day with an order. Gave it to be passed onto her father. Saw him today when he visited....no thank you was forthcoming or acknowledgement. No good morning either. No more for you then....

Waddly has just broken up with a bf. The drama has been played out on fb for the last few days. Today she had a selfie laying mortally wounded lying in bed. Guess it runs in the family then.

A Filipina friend brought some jewelry from my lovely lady as a Xmas gift for her brother. 18ct 3 gram gold ring. 8k peso. He said it was too light and didn't want it. Maybe being ungrateful doesn't just run in the family here. But in the Philippines.

All for now

Millhouse

If you are indeed paying 42k a month to her (39k+3meds) - is around 800usd. It is highly unlikely she could earn anywhere near that in Kuwait. Going rate for a flipina is about 500usd-600usd. They would then have local costs - the max they could send home would be about 2/3 of that.

scrubbedexpat141

Call her bluff next time and start packing the bags for her.