Philosophical 11

D-V,

You are of course spot on. I entrusted her with the rent etc because I wanted to show the trust I have put in her. She has not abused that trust....yet. She also pays the utility bills and has done for over a year. Because her on-line shop is doing well, she has 100's of Palawan transaction vouchers in a cupboard. I decided a few months ago to collate the utility bills separately and the rent transactions only about a month ago. I am 99.9% sure there is nothing sinister going on. The worst that I think is happening is that maybe she is using the money for something else.....probably helping her sister and will be paid later on. The land lady is a family friend and I am sure she will know about any such arrangement. As long as the rent gets paid is the main thing. Next month I will be watching closely. Very closely.

Waddly sister has just taken delivery of 10 or 12 sacks of NFA rice. Anyone know how much a sack costs? I am told it is for the pre- school she works at and I assume it is stored here because they have no space. But heres a co-incidence. The last time she stored rice here was last year....when she wanted to borrow and got a 5k loan. (Still unpaid). My mind works overtime sometimes. I have no objections about her selling rice if that's what she is actually doing. But she needs to be straight about it.

Waddly sister appears to have a bf. He pitched up last night at about 9.45 and I am told he is a soldier. I never saw him leave. Maybe he is still there...exhausted. Might have another worm boy/girl next year. I am overcome with excitement and anticipation.

Regards

quiltman

As far as I know a 25Kg sack of rice is around 980-1300pesos, depending on the grade.I understand there is an amount of NFA rice around that seems to have bypassed "official" channels , but that's not your problem!
As you say, knowing rent is paid is important and as you give her money for it, it is your right to ask for proof of payment otherwise you'll pay it yourself! The argument is that proof of payment is not because you don't trust her, it's to protect her if there is any dispute in the future. Family friend, or no family friend. Cheers,
Gary

Millhouse

exactly.... I would have thought in this situation the less cash she touches of yours the better.

Crystal Dale

As ever I love the touches of humour you add and you're certainty a very understanding and forgiving guy. However, you already knew life there with a Fiipina (and her family), wouldn't be plain sailing all of the time so I'm guessing that the issues you have regarding money haven't come as a complete surprise to you. As long as you feel loved, appreciated and can enjoy a beer or three at the beach whilst watching the sunset (I'm not jealous), without worrying all the time then your decision to give up everything to live there won't ultimately have been the wrong one. That's the way I see it anyway.....

Philosophical 11

Greetings!

Thanks again for your interest.

There are 10 bags of rice all from Korea. No idea what the grade is. They cost 1400 peso per bag. 2 have gone already....never saw them go.

Had another look for the 2 missing rent receipts to no avail. However, I found something intriguing. Found a payment voucher for 10k to a Filipina friend of hers in April. About the time when she was unable to pay her pension premium with the 10k I gave her and the quadruple birthday celebrations she paid for. Rent had been paid. Intriguing because she never gives out loans....so I have no idea what that is. This friend has an American bf in the US, and she has been dropping hints to my lovely lady that she wanted a 35k loan (convoluted story). But, I have to assume its her money from her business which she can use as she pleases. But I might just ask her later on when the subject of her Filipina friend comes up. This woman is pregnant, but we think not by her American bf.

A friend of the family has just come back from Bacolod after meeting her Chinese bf. She took with her my lovely ladies sister-in-law. We believe she is on drugs and the Chinese fella is a farmer and visited for just a few days. We suspect he made a drop off. Nowt to do with me.

D-V. Thanks for your kind words. Yes, 99% of the time, things are very good. Yes, I have heard all about living with a Filipina and her family so I am not surprised by much. But I have to say I will get to the bottom of this rent issue when its due later this month. I shall demand a receipt. Any problems or concerns will be directed to the land lady's husband who as I have mentioned is in Saudi. I shall not deal with the land lady. But....we shall see.

Regards

Crystal Dale

Hmmmm,intriguing indeed? Did you mean she couldnt pay the pension premium because of the birthday celebration expenses? She knows that you're getting really hot (and rightly so), on all money related matters
so no doubt she'll be able to explain the payment receipt to her friend and let's hope you're OK with it? If there is something suspicious happening, then I think it's unlikely she can cover her tracks continuously. I suppose it all boils down to whether or not you feel that you're being taken advantage of, or that you can't accept the Filipino way with regards to them seeing a Foreign guy as a meal ticket. Even though I'm not there living with my wife, nor (sadly) is she over here, we've argued many times over how much financial support I will give her. However, her family have never asked me for help but I suppose that's because her mother/sister both live and work over here and she hates her extended family as she thinks they're all leeches so has as little to do with them as possible. For example, if there's some kind of celebration at her parents house (where she lives), she says family members will only attend because there's free foods. All the best...

MikeNZ

Hi just enjoy the intrigue. I think we sometimes forget how expensive it would be married to a non filipina. One dress, shoes and a haircut would be more than a months total expenditure in the Philippines for most of us.

I would personally be happy as hell that my partner had the personalty, brains and perseverance to run her own online business.

Regards Mike

Philosophical 11

D-V,

Heres the sequence of events:

In April, my lovely lady asked for a 10k loan. She said it was because her customer in the Uk had a large layaway order and could not afford the monthly payment. She wanted to help her out because the customer could be penalized or risked losing her order. I said no. I said however, I could let her have the 10k quarterly pension premium early and she could use that as an interim measure to help her customer out. But the premium had to be paid later that month. The customer defaulted again and my gf had no money to pay the premium. She hinted at another loan which I ignored. She has plenty of gold to pawn. Found out a few days ago that she paid a Filipina friend (not the customer or dealer) 10k later that month. Rent was paid on time. She eventually paid her premium a couple of months late and raised the money I believe by pawning jewelry. Her UK customer eventually paid in full and her pension premium is now paid directly from my bank. I have no idea if her friend has repaid the 10k. As I said before, I was convinced she wanted the money to pay for the birthday celebrations which was very extravagant. Not convinced she wanted to help her customer....although she would lose her commission. Her friend needed a loan and I think that is what the 10k was for. But she did say to me why lend her money ....her friend has no job and little chance of repayment. There is no other reason for the 10k. But, its her money....I am not out of pocket. But the intrigue remains...why lend/give money to a friend who is pregnant and has no job. 10k is a lot of money for anyone. And she baulks on giving her father a 1k loan......

I will say this. She is very kind hearted and despite her posturing, she will help others depending on who they are and their needs. She once said to me.....if God has given you a gift, you must share it. That includes money. Good job I am an atheist.

MikeNZ. Yes, she has the head, determination and business acumen to run a business. It keeps her busy and makes money for her. Shame its appears to be ploughed back into gold. But hats off to her. She has a few customers who are now her agents.....so the market is expanding from just her fb friends.

Sacks of rice. Now it makes sense thinking about it. Her waddly sister bought the same amount last year....apparently for pre-school pupils. School has only recently just started. Hence the rice.

Still wondering about the rent.....I am sure there is an innocent answer. But we will see later this month.

Regards

Crystal Dale

I'm getting the impression that her saying why lend her money?, means that even though you're not always sure of the what is the real reason she needs the money, (rather than the reason she actually told you), she is affectively saying that if you don't trust/believe me, then don't lend anymore. Therefore, of course you have to make a judgement call if/when asks for a loan again. Trust is everything of course, in a relationship, but you've not yet known her for a very long time therefore you're still sometimes living on your instincts. Of course you don't want to face the 'pinay pout'again, and risk upsetting her, but I'm sure she knows by now how far she can push you. It certainty would be difficult for me in your situation, to sit her down and ask her if the 10k really was for the customer? However, maybe that's what you need to do and say you want to trust her but need her to be 100% honest. You of course, will know all this but unless you do ask then it'll always be in the back of your mind, niggling you and particularly because, (as you said),you don't think the pregnant friend can repay that much?

Stokkevn

Lending money to family is fraught with dangers, mostly on our behalves. If we lend to one and not to the other half the family hate us and spread rumours, do it round the other way, well the other half hate you instead. Lend to both and you have just lost twice as much, lend to no one and you are branded cheap and wife/gf advised by the rest of the family to ditch you for a more generous model.

I have given up lending to anyone now, I have an outstanding P500k of loans to various family members over the last 10 years. Which is surprisingly good, as the family members who still owe money stop their nearest and dearest coming round for a loan in case I remember theirs and come asking for repayment. Result is that we have not had any requests from family members for a loan in about the last 18 months.

I have had one cheeky request though from a lad of about 7 or 8 if I could loan him money to buy a school uniform, I have no idea how he thought he might repay it. We made a deal that he cleaned my front garden and I would buy him his uniform. The parents are very proud and won't ask for help, about an hour after he got his uniform his mother was round asking if I had bought it and if I had, why. My missus explained work for school uniform deal and as he had done such a good job and that he got on with the dogs, if he wanted to clean it every second week we would pay him. He now turns up every fortnight and still does a good job and he uses the money to pay for his school bits and pieces. Come lunch time he could be Worm Boy's brother I have never seen such a skinny kid eat so much food. His enthusiasm for school though may get me to start my free science & maths weekend classes again.

Philosophical 11

Greetings once again.

Thanks for your interest. As far as that 10k is concerned, its her money and thus her problem if that's the case. It did not come out of my pocket at the end of the day. I wouldn't like to ask what she does with her money as long as it does not affect me. Yes, I am intrigued and I might just ask when she is in the middle of a pout. Two misdemeanors for the price of one pout. Yes...I like to live dangerously.

Stokkevn 500k! Wow...And here is me wingeing over about 20k total. I should really include the 10k I lent to my lovely lady last year for a business venture which she entered with her uncle who is a Pastor. He was going to sell and buy rice and the profits will be split between them and I would get my capital back. Must have been a bad harvest. Just waiting for a repeat request.....

Money. We all like to help out where possible...in fact I am pleased to do so. But I have now got to the stage where I think they are taking the p..s. I asked her father to get the loan of 1.5k repaid by a certain date. It didn't happen as he promised. I had to draw extra funds from the UK which cost me money. The money is not the issue....but the principle. Yes...I know its their culture. I have waddly woman living next door who is using my electricity, water, internet etc living rent free and still owes 7k without any hint of repayment. She comes in here to borrow the iron...which is never returned. Chairs for her new kitchen/dining area which are never returned. She bought her own table btw. Marches in here to use our fridge where she stores everything. It would be nice to hear a thank you from her....or to leave a crate of beer outside every month as a thank you. Or even bake a cake or something. We had our internet changed to LTE last night which requires a new password. She just waddled in, asked my lovely lady for the new password and waddled out again. No thank you forthcoming...

But, as I said previously. No more loans now unless in dire medical emergency until waddly woman repays the 7k. And only then requests will be considered.

Lovely lady has a "monk" on this morning. No idea why...nowt I did. Came on either after taking a call from her friend in the USA or after she paid some money in Palawan. I know she has a "monk" on because apart from having a face like a bulldogs backside, she tends to snarl when I speak to her. And told to make own breakfast. I was brusquely informed I was using the wrong cloth to collect the drips after cleaning her aquarium. Didn't help matters much when she turned the TV off (I was watching CNN News) to put the radio on. I politely mentioned I was watching the news. Yes...I like lighting the blue touch paper sometimes. She sat outside for the next 20 minutes looking angry with the world. No idea why...probably will never know. She never talks about such things.

All for now

Stokkevn

I must admit the lions share was about 10 years ago to help her cousin start a fish farm and was towards the 5 year lease. The fish were sold and then the lease ran out and the farm was abandoned and very little of the loan was repaid. Normally for that amount I would make a claim trough the local burangay but there is a hitch there, he is the burangay captain. I would start charging her rent, at least until loan paid back

Millhouse

I was on the receiving end of this behavior once. I said, I'm going out and will be back in 30mins. You have a choice - either improve your mood or leave and take all your stuff before my return. Sorted her out - never happened since either.

Crystal Dale

Well, at least she's not angry with you, but she would be if she knew you described her face as a bulldog's backside even though its just a figure of speech. However, Filipinos don't understand this but never mind. That Waddly woman wouldn't get away with treating me like a doormat, but of course you're there to enjoy retirement in a (sometimes) peaceful part of the world, near a beach and with wall to wall sun so understandably you don't want to 'kick-off' at her and also I think you're a mild mannered guy so its not in your nature. Additionally, you'd risk a tongue lashing from the lovely lady, and all of us know how feisty Filipinas are. My beloved could strip paint with one of her angry stares...

Stokkevn

A friend in Kalibo had the same idea as you and gave the same ultimatum, when he returned he found all his belongings in plastic bags outside a locked gate. He played the doubles game and made no complaints, picked up his stuff and moved into an apartment in Caticlan. Gf tracked him down and spent several months pleading for him to come home. Last I heard was that his Gf has promised tell him why she is in a mood and if she thinks it is his fault.