Rete

I read too fast and missed that. Thanks ;-)

Philosophical 11

Greetings.....

Again thanks for your continued interest especially B, Scamp and Raffin. Yes, I believe I have taken the most prudent and practical route. My protection against this lunatic or as I prefer to describe her, a demented woman, would be the bigamy ace card. Ok, she didnt appear to be nonplussed by this but I am sure that was a major factor in coming to meet my settlement terms. I can reveal that her recent messages to me have now been very cordial and polite. She also stated that we must move on from this. Far better than her recent fire and brimstone but these could be weasel words. To be frank, I am not bothered either way. She also volunteered why she needed the money. It was to help her family build a native hut for them to live next to her sister. I take that with a pinch of salt. But I do know that her sister has indeed had a native built recently.

The old chestnut of her family being part of this whole affair has reared its ugly head again. I really cant be asked to explain why this is not so. I have done so many times previously. They are still in contact with me and as part of my family I intend to continue and value their friendship.

The remark that it is hoped that I have learnt from my mistakes i find condescending. As mentioned previously up until my marriage my life with WW was as I wished and we had a great life together. Certainly there were cultural differences which presented a few "moments" But that was expected and overcome. And I became a part of the family. The big problems arose after marriage. Debts and scamming. This is why I left her for the 3rd and final time. One possible mistake might be that I should have left her permanently after the first time I left her. But marriages should be worked at. In my view one mistake should not be the end of the marriage. i left her the second time and returned. That was a mistake and maybe I should have taken the advice of two pinay mutual friends who told me that I should leave her permanently. I didnt heed their advice. But that would have made no difference to the final outcome. She would have still come after me in the way she has now.

As you all know, I took professional advice that there was no need for me to support her after the third and final time. I took their advice and then proceeded to go about it the right way. It was because I did it the right way that I now find that my life in the Philippines is now secure. If I had taken some of the unsolicited advice here I would most certainly have been in the UK and most probably blacklisted. Or at least in subterfuge.....or jail. I know advice is well meaning, and I welcome all comments and advice but I am making the point that I did it my way. The correct way.

Moving on......

Had word from my attorney just now that the Hearing for tomorrow morning goes ahead. It will be by video conference. She and the prosecutor will manifest to the judge that there is a settlement being finalised by both parties. A draft will be drawn up by them both and will be put to me for review and signature.

And that hopefully will be the end of my story.

Regards

tropicofcancer

Hope so to PH11. May all be well for the future.

Philosophical 11

Thank TOC...

Moving on.....

Apologies to Raffin. I neglected to take up your excellent point of paying WW off early. Never thought of that and its a very good point. Previously she did not want a lump sum payment but maintenance. I suspect that isnt the case now but thinking about it, I will hold off on that for now. i dont know what my final bill against my attorney will be, and how much I need to pay Immigration in fines and charges etc. I suspect I can cover all that especially after I pick up my bail money (however long that will take) and I get my annual private pension paid in November. I also have to consider a possible 72k payment for a 9g visa if I have to leave the Philippines with no return date. However, I will put this to her when I have all my finances sorted out.

Fortunately payment to her is quick and easy also painless. I would hate to have to go the ATM each month and withdraw 15k and then wait an eternity in Palawan or whatever to send the money. It takes about 30 secs on my CP or laptop with a few clicks of the button. Painless.

Regards

jaygee68

"Thanks to all the others who have given constructive replies in the last few days.... most appreciated. I shall respond accordingly in full shortly"

Do you view "Constructive" replies as those falling under the sole category of comments that you agree with?..I truly wish you all the best in the future mate,but there is still a note of both defiance and denial in your final postings on here,so please do not fall into the same trap again.As for her family,i would not bother with them at all.

Good Luck.I can't help feeling that she has came out of this with a victory of sorts,given that you are having to give the wretch a monthly settlement,when she is actually not worth a single Peso.

Gazza-d

Pll you have a couple of time now mentioned a 9g pre-arranged work visa. How are you going to arrange that, have you found a company to employ you.

Stokkevn

Just make sure whatever system you use you get a receipt and proof that it was her who collected/received the money, paper as well as electronic. I am mediating between family members on some payments that have/have not been paid and have/have not been collected, absolute nightmare, I am just surprised that they are allowed out on their own.

scrubbedexpat141

I'd also suggest that when an agreement is reached you request that communication halts either directly or through family. The last thing you want is to think about it beyond the day you sign the documents and start paying.

If you pay up front, she's gone forever, if you pay over a year, she's hanging around for 12 transfers. Perhaps there's a deal to be done? 10k a month or 100k in one go type thing? Maybe save yourself a few quid....although monthly might suit you better if bills are coming in.

Whatever happens, you deserve to be rid of this situation and person, you've survived it and come through, don't let her keep eating away at you and popping back up in the future for anything more.

I know you've probably thought of all this, but really do think the communication will have to be politely ended as part of this agreement or she'll wiggle and worm somewhere down the line.

Philosophical 11

In answer to your question....No.

I am happy to answer any comment that is both valid and constructive....such as yours. I am tired of answering comments that make sweeping statements without constructive comment. Or repeating myself. Comments that that depict me as an old man. or naive .Comments from people who I regard as armchair critics and also those who have no real idea what the culture here is in the Philippines. I am 73 years old now and my mental faculties are fine. During the near 7 years I have posted here, I have been regarded as naive, it has been suggested that my two adult sons come out here and help me. Such utter nonsense. I will repeat as stated in my last post....I took professional advice and worked from there. No knee jerk reactions....but just careful thought and doing the right thing. If I took the advice from some who think they know it all.....I most probably wont be here now. Probably licking my wounds in the UK....or jail. And certainly no train crash scenario as has been prophesied. .If my responses appear to be defiance and denial then I apologise for that. But that is borne out of utter frustration.

Yes I agree with you. She will come out of this feeling some sort of victory. She can tell her mates whatever she wants. But I understand Asian mentality You cannot screw an Asian so that they lose face. Give them an escape route when you have them nailed. This is one reason I feel she has accepted my settlement.

As far as the family is concerned, I will interact with them when required. They are after all my family.

Moving on.....

I was due to have a Hearing tomorrow. This is where my attorney and Prosecutor will put to the judge that we have reached an agreement. The agreement has yet to drafted between them and I will eventually have to sign it off. But I have just heard that the Hearing has been cancelled....no idea why. I was one of 12 Hearings to be heard. Another Hearing is scheduled on Tuesday. Maybe that will follow the same fate. I wait and see.

I note that there are further comments...I will get to them tomorrow. Thanks.

Regards

Raffin

Just one thought on the above. Think best to gradually reduce contact with the family over time. First they will continue to remind you of LL. And second hopefully you probably will, or maybe already have met someone suitable to be with here. Their family is likely to be poor and needing help and attention. Some will be expected from you.

Philosophical 11

Greetings....

To answer a few more comments.

Gazza.... 9g visa. I posted on a fb group about the then problems of people such as myself who may have to leave the Philippines on a visa run and find that I cannot get back into the country again. I got a pm from someone who I believe is a fixer. Basically he has a company that employs "ghost" workers, Something that is very common in Government offices. Obviously illegal but it appears to be common practice. I think he wanted 70k for one year. He offers up to 3 years. The beauty of this if I remember correctly is that after that one year, your visa reverts back automatically to Tourist visa at square one. In other words, there is no requirement to conduct a visa run. Someone also posted a company that operates the same scheme. I dont think I will need to take that option now but it would be only as a very last resort. I would certainly want a face to face meeting with the fixer and also try to get recommendations from others who have taken that path.

Stokkevn. Proof of WW receiving my payments. I suppose I could ask her for receipts etc but I am not going to bother with that. I use "Wise" for any transfer of money and they provide proof of transfer into her account. That should be enough methinks.

Scamp/Raffin. Family contact. Yes I agree in essence what you say but I think it will be done naturally. Last year her elder sister asked me to keep her updated with events. This I have done and I think now that she has been informed of our settlement deal, I no longer need to contact her. I only contacted the family for that reason only. It was always they that contacted me to find out how I was etc. Sometimes video calling. Now that this saga appears to be just about over I am sure that their contact with me will die a natural death. Incidentally, it should be obvious that I was very guarded in any contact with them. They dont know where I am for instance......I didnt lie.....but mislead them.

Moving on.....

Hearing has been confirmed for reschedule tomorrow morning at 8.30. My case is no 14 on the list. Oh joy......

Regards

EnglishRed

It would probably be cheaper to do a visa run, 70k is £1000 per year and with the problems you have had you don't want to fall foul of the law. I guess it depends on the situation regarding covid protocols and quarantine measures. At the moment you probably wouldn't be allowed back in to the Philippines.

Might be worth looking into SSRV, not sure of the absolute minimum deposit required. as it can vary, but worth checking out at least.

Bealinehx

SSRV is not cheap and if I'm correct is still under suspension

morpeth

P11 glad to see the light at the end of the tunnel so close.

morpeth

Perhaps make a copy of all your posts without exception from day 1,would be good introduction to Expats wishing to retire there. keep price low and you might find some takers.