Me and My Family

Old Oct 20th 2020, 3:20 am
  #4891  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

May I remind you all this thread was opened by P11 as a place for him to post an account of his new life in the Philippines. Most of us have differing opinions of what he should or should not have done...but that is all in the past now.

Please leave your opinions of each other at the door...or take them to PM. Either way this thread is not the place to air them.
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Old Oct 20th 2020, 5:30 am
  #4892  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Elgin1983 View Post
If an expat was in a situation where people where threatening him to pay a woman's bills, he would have a much easier time extricating himself from the situation if he wasn't married to her and didn't own the property in which they lived.

Not my current location, but one where I have links.
He didn't. Apart from all the other nonsense you're spouting, you could at least have done P11 the courtesy of actually reading before commenting.
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Old Oct 21st 2020, 4:53 am
  #4893  
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Originally Posted by Elgin1983 View Post
But she didn't, did she. As anyone who has read this saga knows, you were continually caving to her requests, demands and lies, to the extent that you used up much of your retirement fund on her, are owed a large amount of money you will never retrieve, and were reduced to living like a squatter in an unhealthy state at your advanced age. All while she was shagging her boyfriend/babyfather/whoever behind your back.

As for attitude toward women, well that is relative: another poster on this thread just basically accused you of being a sex tourist. However, what is certainly not relative is the fact if you'd been a little more hard-headed in your attitude toward women, you wouldn't be in the position you find yourself now. But you have heard that a hundred times already from others.
I think you need to get your facts correct before posting a comment. My savings was just about wiped clean not by her, but as settlement to my first wife. Fortunately I have 3 pensions so I am not totally reliant on savings. I did NOT cave into any demands. This is why she attacked me with a knife on 4 separate occasions and threatened self harm on numerous occasions. Not to mention leaving her on 2 separate occasions . Yes I voluntarily tried to help with her debts. This is what any man would do to help their partner. But I suspect you wouldnt know anything about that. Finally I am still here because I am stuck here because of Covid and the uncertainty of my future. This was only supposed to be temporary .
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Old Oct 21st 2020, 5:39 am
  #4894  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11 View Post
Marriage has got nothing to do with the problem I am facing now.
True in one sense, because you never were legally married at all, because she already was.

But I am a bit mystified why you don't seem to be pursuing that as a primary defense to the charges she has caused to be held against you, and why you're not actively seeking a certified copy of her original marriage certificate.

Leave aside whether or not you choose to pursue her for bigamy as a criminal matter (a useless and potentially expensive rabbit-hole, IMHO).

Surely it would help you, in your defense to the charges you currently face, to formally establish (by means of her prior certificate of marriage), that legally, you never were and could never have been married to her?

Last edited by abner; Oct 21st 2020 at 5:42 am.
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Old Oct 21st 2020, 1:34 pm
  #4895  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by abner View Post
True in one sense, because you never were legally married at all, because she already was.

But I am a bit mystified why you don't seem to be pursuing that as a primary defense to the charges she has caused to be held against you, and why you're not actively seeking a certified copy of her original marriage certificate.

Leave aside whether or not you choose to pursue her for bigamy as a criminal matter (a useless and potentially expensive rabbit-hole, IMHO).

Surely it would help you, in your defense to the charges you currently face, to formally establish (by means of her prior certificate of marriage), that legally, you never were and could never have been married to her?
True in another sense, RA 9262 is not just confined to married couples.

I already have proof that she is not legally married , a government document to state that she has married twice.

I do not have the resources to pursue a case against her bigamy which is of no consequence in the case against me. I barely have the resources to defend myself.

Moving on....

Taking advantage of her very polite message to me indicating she wants me back and knowing she has defaulted on loan repayments, I have sent her an offer of settlement out of court. She is consulting her attorney.

Keep saafe all
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Old Oct 21st 2020, 1:42 pm
  #4896  
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A very polite message seems to be out of character. I wonder what is the motivation? Perhaps her new beau has upped stumps.
Notwithstanding that P11 the very best of British and above all keep safe.
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Old Oct 21st 2020, 1:48 pm
  #4897  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

"I do not have the resources to pursue a case against her bigamy which is of no consequence in the case against me. I barely have the resources to defend myself."

Unless you have already agreed with your legal team on a set fee,it is possible that you could find yourself in a perilous situation somewhere down the line,P11.Please remain vigilant.

PS,apologies if you have already stated details of the commercial agreement with your legal team on here.

Good Luck.
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Old Oct 21st 2020, 1:54 pm
  #4898  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11 View Post
True in another sense, RA 9262 is not just confined to married couples.

I already have proof that she is not legally married , a government document to state that she has married twice.

I do not have the resources to pursue a case against her bigamy which is of no consequence in the case against me. I barely have the resources to defend myself.

Moving on....

Taking advantage of her very polite message to me indicating she wants me back and knowing she has defaulted on loan repayments, I have sent her an offer of settlement out of court. She is consulting her attorney.

Keep saafe all

I hope that doesn’t mean you are giving her more money...
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Old Oct 21st 2020, 2:11 pm
  #4899  
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P11 ... you received a civilized, polite message from the ex? I know money is super tight but this is so out of character for her it can only mean one thing in my mind .... she knows that she is standing on a very weak and shaky leg and is about to fall flat on her arse. Do think carefully before your strike up a settlement with her.

Last edited by Rete; Oct 21st 2020 at 3:19 pm.
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Old Oct 21st 2020, 2:20 pm
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl View Post
I hope that doesn’t mean you are giving her more money...
Of course it does.
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Old Oct 21st 2020, 2:29 pm
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Rete View Post
P11 ... you received a civilized, polite message from the ex? I know is super tight but this is so out of character for her it can only mean one thing in my mind .... she knows that she is standing on a very weak and shaky leg and is about to fall plate on her arse. Do think carefully before your strike up a settlement with her.
I'd imagine she'll lose a lot of face if it all goes against her. A settlement would be a win win for her. No public loss of face and money. She can always lie to others later and say she took pity on P11 blah blah blah, didn't want to put an old man through all this etc. She comes out with a halo at the end of it all.

For P11, I suppose it would bring closure on a bad couple of years and allow him to move on with PoM. And be finished with her for once and for all.

Last throw of the dice from the LL.



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Old Oct 21st 2020, 10:54 pm
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Crikey, I've just stumbled into here. Wow.

So this is where everyone has been.
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Old Oct 22nd 2020, 3:51 am
  #4903  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

P 11 Feel for you here, difficult situation, almost appears your LL is throwing a life line with conditions attached.

Naturally any agreements made are your own, my flexibility in this situation would be considerable, anything to ovoid a case in which I believe the decks to be stacked. No doubt your attorney shall insist on an agreement which precludes her from ever making these or similar accusations again.

As a parting comment P11, some years ago I visited an Australian in Toledo prison, even being prepared it was a considerable shock to witness these conditions first hand. Worth some thought.

As always best of British and may this end well.
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Old Oct 22nd 2020, 6:06 am
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Originally Posted by Ten View Post
P 11 Feel for you here, difficult situation, almost appears your LL is throwing a life line with conditions attached.

Naturally any agreements made are your own, my flexibility in this situation would be considerable, anything to ovoid a case in which I believe the decks to be stacked. No doubt your attorney shall insist on an agreement which precludes her from ever making these or similar accusations again. ..
To me P11 doesn't need a life line, even though the decks may be stacked against him to a degree. Looks to me that LL may also be keeping afloat with difficulty P11 can use the threat of suing her for bigamy to his advantage in any settlement negotiations, which seem on the cards now. She may have brought her case against him in the first place partly to dissuade him from bringing a bigamy case against her, due to the cost of all that litigation.

The threat would have to be credible so he needs to avoid giving her the idea he might find the legal financial burden too heavy. Even better if he can give her the idea that he won't be the one prosecuting her, it will be the prosecution service. Never mind that I can't find any case of that ever happening and that she may have been told that too. But he could try to get her to believe things are different away from the Visayas or that someone will help him...even Raffy Tulfo!

You would think in a country where they place great store in the sanctity of marriage the authorities would be actively prosecuting bigamy. Maybe they don't as they would end up prosecuting too many poor people who can't afford an annulment. Anyway, the penalty for bigamy is prison mayor.....meaning more than 6 years in prison.

Last edited by Jerseygirl; Oct 22nd 2020 at 12:21 pm. Reason: Fixed quote
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Old Oct 24th 2020, 1:25 am
  #4905  
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Originally Posted by Raffin View Post
To me P11 doesn't need a life line, even though the decks may be stacked against him to a degree. Looks to me that LL may also be keeping afloat with difficulty P11 can use the threat of suing her for bigamy to his advantage in any settlement negotiations, which seem on the cards now. She may have brought her case against him in the first place partly to dissuade him from bringing a bigamy case against her, due to the cost of all that litigation.

The threat would have to be credible so he needs to avoid giving her the idea he might find the legal financial burden too heavy. Even better if he can give her the idea that he won't be the one prosecuting her, it will be the prosecution service. Never mind that I can't find any case of that ever happening and that she may have been told that too. But he could try to get her to believe things are different away from the Visayas or that someone will help him...even Raffy Tulfo!

You would think in a country where they place great store in the sanctity of marriage the authorities would be actively prosecuting bigamy. Maybe they don't as they would end up prosecuting too many poor people who can't afford an annulment. Anyway, the penalty for bigamy is prison mayor.....meaning more than 6 years in prison.
Mr Raffin your statement P11 does not need a life line sounds somewhat strange to me. Normally a life line is extended from a secure situation to a more insecure situation. Your comments tend to support the situation of P11.

Not withstanding the evidence and supporting documents he may have, we cannot loose fact of where we are and the prejudice of many in judicial circles here.

From a case I was recently involved in the defendant (a local) did not respond to any court correspondence or even appear in court. As in P11s case the evidence was over overwhelmingly in favour of the plaintiff (foreign national) ........Still as he was advised...next to no chance, believe there was another poster here with similar experiences.

Not say if the case of P11 goes to court he has could not win, he may very well strike an impartial judge, still if he can negotiate a settlement with his ex LL I feel this option would be wise to explore. My feeling is the bigamy charge is a totally separate issue and I cast doubt on the threat of this would be enough to deter the LL considering the arrest warrant has been issued.

​​​​​​​My understanding is its currently next to impossible to involve Raffy Tulfo, even if possible the complexity of P11s case would be to much.I have not a full understanding of over all predicament how ever like all posters wish him a settlement and chance to live his life here as he wishes.
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