Me and My Family

Old Oct 19th 2020, 11:52 am
  #4861  
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Originally Posted by Raffin View Post
If an expat was in a situation where people where threatening him to pay a woman's bills, he would have a much easier time extricating himself from the situation if he wasn't married to her and didn't own the property in which they lived.../QUOTE]

Think you do have a point about property, in the first few years of the relationship at least.

If courting a traditional girl living at home or close to the family then the aim of marriage is sensible and probably expected, Living in is probably out of the question..

To reiterate a point I have already made here there are advantages to being married. With older and more independent ladies living together only as a stage towards possible marriage should fully concentrate one to exercise due diligence. Living in for years with no aim and you will tend to ignore warning signs, as you will always think it easy to bail out. And Elgin, you are ignoring what P11 reported here some time ago.....that the family law can also be used against you by an unhappy live in partner.

Doesn't apply in every case. P11 himself reported some early warning signs but continued to give LL the benefit of the doubt. A number of posters here advised him not to marry and to leave the relationship earlier than he did. But if you are that type of person and you are coming out of a divorce then it's difficult to get out in time.
I would be extremely wary of buying property in a 3rd world country even if single. Beyond the reasons I mentioned before, most of these places are not particularly stable politically, on a local or national level. There may be a socialist coup which will put property owners at risk; or there might be a powerful local official who is particularly corrupt, takes a dislike to you or whatever else. Once you have bought the property, you can't get away. Of course, once you bring co-habitation/marriage into it, that just ups the risk to another level.

The only advantage to being married seems to be that it is slightly cheaper to get a retirement visa. But if you can't afford a regular retirement visa, you shouldn't be retiring in the country. About family law being used against you by an unhappy live in partner, well, if you have no children and are unmarried, any legal hold she has over you will be far weaker.

As for courting a traditional girl living with her family, this seems to be the situation for girls in their late teens or early 20s at the oldest. People retiring there will be rather older than that. If you have the game/looks/health/wealth at 60 to bag a beautiful 19 year old, I salute you sir. However, I suspect most people will end up with someone with a few more miles on the clock, albeit still attractive and in good shape. Rather like P11's description of his ex-non-wife, in fact.

Last edited by Jerseygirl; Oct 19th 2020 at 5:25 pm. Reason: Cocked up quote
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Old Oct 19th 2020, 12:48 pm
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Elgin1983 View Post
No, if he had made ground rules early on - no marriage; a certain non-negotiable allowance for her per month - he would not be in this pickle. Either she would have left him, or she would have modified her behaviour. Probably the former, but either way he would be in a better situation than is currently the case, legally, mentally, physically and financially.

The idea that he would be "six feet under" for not paying his girlfriend's bills, which he had nothing to do with, is so idiotic it barely merits comment.
She had a non-negotiable allowance of 8k per month. An amount she was happy and pleased with. Marriage has got nothing to do with the problem I am facing now. I therefore fail to see what advice you espoused would have made any difference as you seem to think.

I agree with the comments made by B and RWF, You have a poor attitude towards women and I could have been buried 6' under. I still could if I pursued the bigamy case which I am still considering.

Keep safe all
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Old Oct 19th 2020, 1:10 pm
  #4863  
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Elgin 83
I am wondering if you have been in the Philippines. If so what was your longest length of stay. You have a very sour note in your postings which I suspect is designed to create irritation and/or annoyance,
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Old Oct 19th 2020, 1:25 pm
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Jingsamichty View Post
You (and many more like you) deliberately went to a poor country intending to use your relative wealth to secure sex and companionship of younger women who would, in any other circumstances, not give you a second glance. Surely that is the very definition of the charges laid against you?

I appreciate your ex is clearly guilty of various deeds, but that doesn't negate your own poor behaviour.

I for one have little sympathy left, you were advised to get out years ago and you pig-headedly refused. But still you talk about the possibility of attaching yourself to yet another (presumably younger) lady in the future. You know the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me" ... what number are you up to now?

I agree that Phill11 was told for years by a variety of people giving similar advice and by people who had experience in the Philippines or as Expats - and no matter what anyone said he simply refused to listen. it is one thing to make a mistake, another to make a mistake for a year or two, but constant stubborness and refusal to listen and face reality one gets to the point than any advice seems futile. However t do feel sympathy for his plight, must be nerve-wracking having all this hanging over his head all the time. .

There are lots of third world countries where an older guy can find a local younger woman- and some like Colombia a lot more to offer than the Philippines, even Moldova for that matter ! However if both parties get what they are looking for, I am unsure why that is poor behavior.

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Old Oct 19th 2020, 2:23 pm
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Raffin View Post

I would be extremely wary of buying property in a 3rd world country even if single. Beyond the reasons I mentioned before, most of these places are not particularly stable politically, on a local or national level. There may be a socialist coup which will put property owners at risk; or there might be a powerful local official who is particularly corrupt, takes a dislike to you or whatever else. Once you have bought the property, you can't get away. Of course, once you bring co-habitation/marriage into it, that just ups the risk to another level.

The only advantage to being married seems to be that it is slightly cheaper to get a retirement visa. But if you can't afford a regular retirement visa, you shouldn't be retiring in the country. About family law being used against you by an unhappy live in partner, well, if you have no children and are unmarried, any legal hold she has over you will be far weaker.

As for courting a traditional girl living with her family, this seems to be the situation for girls in their late teens or early 20s at the oldest. People retiring there will be rather older than that. If you have the game/looks/health/wealth at 60 to bag a beautiful 19 year old, I salute you sir. However, I suspect most people will end up with someone with a few more miles on the clock, albeit still attractive and in good shape. Rather like P11's description of his ex-non-wife, in fact.
Seriously?! Do you think you're in the Kruger or something?


Last edited by Jerseygirl; Oct 19th 2020 at 5:24 pm. Reason: Cocked up quote
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Old Oct 19th 2020, 2:24 pm
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Not directed at Raffin but Elgin. Has he lost his marbles.... 😝
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Old Oct 19th 2020, 3:28 pm
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Originally Posted by nonthaburi View Post
Not directed at Raffin but Elgin. Has he lost his marbles.... 😝
With his quote of "end up with someone with a few more miles on the clock". My missus saw that and he is lucky she is not still in Aberdeen as 'balls' and 'decoration' would become part of a sentence as she has quite a few friends in Elgin.
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Old Oct 19th 2020, 4:19 pm
  #4868  
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If 1983 is an indication of his birth year, the little one is only 37 and hasn't matured to become a man of the 21st century. He still thinks of woman has chattel and with sawdust for brains and the species that believes that corporal punishment in the home is a good thing, be it physical, mental or emotional.
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Old Oct 19th 2020, 4:31 pm
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Originally Posted by Philosophical 11 View Post
She had a non-negotiable allowance of 8k per month. An amount she was happy and pleased with. Marriage has got nothing to do with the problem I am facing now. I therefore fail to see what advice you espoused would have made any difference as you seem to think.

I agree with the comments made by B and RWF, You have a poor attitude towards women and I could have been buried 6' under. I still could if I pursued the bigamy case which I am still considering.

Keep safe all
But she didn't, did she. As anyone who has read this saga knows, you were continually caving to her requests, demands and lies, to the extent that you used up much of your retirement fund on her, are owed a large amount of money you will never retrieve, and were reduced to living like a squatter in an unhealthy state at your advanced age. All while she was shagging her boyfriend/babyfather/whoever behind your back.

As for attitude toward women, well that is relative: another poster on this thread just basically accused you of being a sex tourist. However, what is certainly not relative is the fact if you'd been a little more hard-headed in your attitude toward women, you wouldn't be in the position you find yourself now. But you have heard that a hundred times already from others.
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Old Oct 19th 2020, 4:32 pm
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Originally Posted by Bealinehx View Post
Elgin 83
I am wondering if you have been in the Philippines. ,
I have indeed, and many more places besides. Some truths are universal.
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Old Oct 19th 2020, 4:34 pm
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Originally Posted by nonthaburi View Post

Seriously?! Do you think you're in the Kruger or something?
Women are far more deadly than any animal you will find in the Kruger. If you aren't on your guard, you're liable to end up like P11 or worse.

Last edited by Jerseygirl; Oct 19th 2020 at 5:25 pm. Reason: Cocked up quote
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Old Oct 19th 2020, 4:38 pm
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Originally Posted by Stokkevn View Post
With his quote of "end up with someone with a few more miles on the clock". My missus saw that and he is lucky she is not still in Aberdeen as 'balls' and 'decoration' would become part of a sentence as she has quite a few friends in Elgin.
Facts don't care about your feelings. 90% of men would prefer someone young, slim and beautiful. But most retirees have to settle for someone a little older (though happily, in Asia, often not much less slim and beautiful).
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Old Oct 19th 2020, 4:41 pm
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Originally Posted by Rete View Post
If 1983 is an indication of his birth year, the little one is only 37 and hasn't matured to become a man of the 21st century.
"Man of the 21st Century". LOL. Enjoy raising your wife's kids.

And I never said a thing about corporal punishment. Don't make false accusations without evidence. Do you work for the BBC?
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Old Oct 19th 2020, 4:52 pm
  #4874  
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Old Oct 19th 2020, 4:55 pm
  #4875  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Elgin1983 View Post
"Man of the 21st Century". LOL. Enjoy raising your wife's kids.
Rete's a woman, how strange that you assumed she is a man.

You have extremely ill-informed ideas about what makes for a successful relationship. You know, a relationship where both partners have respect for and trust in each other. 'Treat 'em mean and keep 'em keen' is only a mantra for neanderthals.
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