Me and My Family
#466
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re: Me and My Family
..........
Respect and money tree: It has been said that a foreigner comes about 4th in status in a Filipino family. One place above a dog. I did wonder when the question was posed whether respect for those at no 4 in status is the same as those at no 1. For me....I have full respect. Ok, the culture may not show it in the same way but she and her family have respect for me as I do them. She goes out her way for me sometimes over-riding her families wishes. So I have no problem with that. Money tree is interesting. As was said earlier by Bazza.....he gave money to fix the roof but it went elsewhere. The roof still leaks. I did the same with the 10k pension premium but that paid for her birthday celebrations etc. She no longer has a pension. And I do not have another apple to pluck off the tree. But I guess financial management and logic is a rare commodity over here.
Invinoveritas: You wrote a fine post. Thank you. In short, yes I have had experience of both worlds. Despite what I have blogged here, I love my time in the Philippines. Yes, there has been ups and downs and more challenges are there on the horizon. But that is life wherever you are. What does the future hold? I have no idea. She wants marriage, babies, house and security. Can I give her that? Trying hard to give her babies is the easy part!
She wants a fish pond. Now why is that? Is it because her sister had a small one made for worm boy and the pond garners attraction when the kids and family visit. She wants a bigger and better one. Says hollow blocks only cost 70 peso each and can I afford 1k? I said no. That would have provoked a dark mood some time ago...but she accepted it.
She asked about whether her pension had finished. I said I had no idea and told her that I asked her financial agent to contact her to discuss it. End of conversation and no dark mood either.
Anyway...I ramble. Thanks again for ALL your thoughts and kind wishes. All comments are welcome and I can take them on the chin or in the heart as required.
Regards
Respect and money tree: It has been said that a foreigner comes about 4th in status in a Filipino family. One place above a dog. I did wonder when the question was posed whether respect for those at no 4 in status is the same as those at no 1. For me....I have full respect. Ok, the culture may not show it in the same way but she and her family have respect for me as I do them. She goes out her way for me sometimes over-riding her families wishes. So I have no problem with that. Money tree is interesting. As was said earlier by Bazza.....he gave money to fix the roof but it went elsewhere. The roof still leaks. I did the same with the 10k pension premium but that paid for her birthday celebrations etc. She no longer has a pension. And I do not have another apple to pluck off the tree. But I guess financial management and logic is a rare commodity over here.
Invinoveritas: You wrote a fine post. Thank you. In short, yes I have had experience of both worlds. Despite what I have blogged here, I love my time in the Philippines. Yes, there has been ups and downs and more challenges are there on the horizon. But that is life wherever you are. What does the future hold? I have no idea. She wants marriage, babies, house and security. Can I give her that? Trying hard to give her babies is the easy part!
She wants a fish pond. Now why is that? Is it because her sister had a small one made for worm boy and the pond garners attraction when the kids and family visit. She wants a bigger and better one. Says hollow blocks only cost 70 peso each and can I afford 1k? I said no. That would have provoked a dark mood some time ago...but she accepted it.
She asked about whether her pension had finished. I said I had no idea and told her that I asked her financial agent to contact her to discuss it. End of conversation and no dark mood either.
Anyway...I ramble. Thanks again for ALL your thoughts and kind wishes. All comments are welcome and I can take them on the chin or in the heart as required.
Regards
Last edited by Jerseygirl; Oct 11th 2017 at 10:01 pm.
#467
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re: Me and My Family
Says hollow blocks only cost 70 peso each and can I afford 1k? I said no. That would have provoked a dark mood some time ago...but she accepted it.
Last edited by BEVS; Oct 11th 2017 at 11:04 pm.
#468
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re: Me and My Family
Well not an easy question!
Patience with resolve is the answer.
No doubt his lovely lady is under tremendous pressure from her family and my guess Pete is only aware of a fraction on what really goes on.
he has said his is happy where he is and has no wish to move but he must ask himself what is more important location or the relationship. If the latter I say move elsewhere as family pressures will not go away. This is not Europe it is a developing country where life in the provinces has not really changed for generations
Patience with resolve is the answer.
No doubt his lovely lady is under tremendous pressure from her family and my guess Pete is only aware of a fraction on what really goes on.
he has said his is happy where he is and has no wish to move but he must ask himself what is more important location or the relationship. If the latter I say move elsewhere as family pressures will not go away. This is not Europe it is a developing country where life in the provinces has not really changed for generations
Last edited by BEVS; Oct 24th 2017 at 2:36 am.
#469
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re: Me and My Family
Yes....she is jealous and suspicious. Most pinays are so I am told. In fact, I think its funny sometimes. If I am on tricycle with her, I must keep my legs closed and pull my shirt over the groin region!
I have never had to cover my groin with a shirt, but unknowingly little birdie did drop out of the bottom of my shorts while in a jeepney once, much to the amusement of most of the other travelers and to the horror of my wife.
Last edited by BEVS; Oct 11th 2017 at 11:04 pm.
#470
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re: Me and My Family
Millhouse,
Thanks for your post.
The money and ATM issue can never wear me down now. I have told them that money is getting tight and if any loans or money is required, It will have to come from her sister and gf OFW friend who owe me a total of 12k. Once that is freed up....I will consider further loans very carefully. The ball is no longer in my court.
I didn't mind helping the family out in the past. In fact I felt pleased to do so. Apart from the one occasion, I never felt ripped off. And I am not 100% sure about that one occasion. They have a saying here in the Philippines...."if God gave you a blessing, you must share it." Blessing also means money. Thankfully I am not religious.
If I find anything wearing now it is their culture and lack of logic. She was using a spray the other day in the bedroom because of mosquitoes. She left the windows wide open and upon asking why, she told me it was so they can escape. But, to live here in the Philippines you need an endless supply of humour and patience. Especially if you are living my lovely lady.
Regards
Thanks for your post.
The money and ATM issue can never wear me down now. I have told them that money is getting tight and if any loans or money is required, It will have to come from her sister and gf OFW friend who owe me a total of 12k. Once that is freed up....I will consider further loans very carefully. The ball is no longer in my court.
I didn't mind helping the family out in the past. In fact I felt pleased to do so. Apart from the one occasion, I never felt ripped off. And I am not 100% sure about that one occasion. They have a saying here in the Philippines...."if God gave you a blessing, you must share it." Blessing also means money. Thankfully I am not religious.
If I find anything wearing now it is their culture and lack of logic. She was using a spray the other day in the bedroom because of mosquitoes. She left the windows wide open and upon asking why, she told me it was so they can escape. But, to live here in the Philippines you need an endless supply of humour and patience. Especially if you are living my lovely lady.
Regards
Last edited by Jerseygirl; Oct 11th 2017 at 10:01 pm.
#471
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re: Me and My Family
Stokkevn,
Maybe it was 17 and not 70 peso. Pronunciation issues I guess. I wondered at the time how 1k could cover it all'
Regards
Maybe it was 17 and not 70 peso. Pronunciation issues I guess. I wondered at the time how 1k could cover it all'
Regards
Last edited by Jerseygirl; Oct 11th 2017 at 10:01 pm.
#472
re: Me and My Family
You're a good man Thanks for keeping it real.
Remember to stay alpha and that her jealousy is driven by fear.
Do let us know when she wants to keep bees in the garden to make honey. � ����
Remember to stay alpha and that her jealousy is driven by fear.
Do let us know when she wants to keep bees in the garden to make honey. � ����
Last edited by Jerseygirl; Oct 11th 2017 at 10:01 pm.
#473
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Joined: May 2016
Posts: 106
Protecting your draft
Greetings again, This post may be in two parts. My lap top has a habit of crashing thus losing what I have typed. Most frustrating when typing a long post! ....... Pete
Last edited by BEVS; Oct 24th 2017 at 2:36 am.
#474
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re: Me and My Family
Thanks Feidlimid for your advice and kind words.
The problem is due to an AMD Driver issue and I have been sent a recovery disk to cure the problem. However, being computer illiterate I am at the moment delaying the moment when I try it out. Just plucking up the nerve I guess. No idea what Word Document is! The computer crash happens maybe once in two days but only once I had to retype a reply here.
Stokkevn: You did not say whether it was a small or big faux pas on the jeepney! With me the problem is different. When I sit down on a tricycle with my shorts, the groin area for some reason bulges up as if I have a Linford Christie lunch pack down there. Its just the way the shorts are and nothing else. She seems to think that pinays can see this from a 100 metres away. I just laugh. But she can talk.....she sometimes wears short shorts and I have to say she has lovely legs. They start underneath her armpits. Normally she dresses up to the nines each time we go out and I have said before she is one of the best dressed women in Sipalay. Her make-up and hair is impeccable. She gets looks from the blokes here. And so do I. They are probably wondering what is a lovely lady like that doing with an old codger like me. Maybe they think its the Linford Christie lunchbox. Or the bulge in my pocket.
Her jealousy can be both good or bad. Good like yesterday...The woman that does her nails could not come yesterday so she said she was going into the market to have them done. This procedure takes between 1 and 2 hrs. I didn't fancy sitting here on my own for that time so I said I will come with her to the parlour and then wait on the beach for her. To her this means one thing. I will drink nasty beer...letch at beautiful women....have an affair....or maybe run off with another lady for ever. She elected to do her nails herself at home. The bad effects means that I feel obliged to go to family gatherings. She loves those and I would prefer to stay here.....and go to the beach for a few swift halfs. But if I did not go.....she wouldn't either. She would not leave me here alone. So I go so she can enjoy herself.
The problem with these gatherings is that I get bored. I am told to sit somewhere (like a dog?) and smile sweetly at all and sundry. If I strike up a conversation with someone in English....she will come along and quickly turn it into Illongo. I have complained about this before...but to no avail. So, I then go out and find a suitable watering hole for a few swift halfs and have a scintillating conversation with the local stray dog. Or cat. This prompts urgent messages from her every 5 mins asking where I am......what I am doing.....and do not drink. Sometimes I forget to hear my phone ringing out these messages. This then produces urgent messages every 2 minutes. But.....as I have told her numerous times. Include me in the gatherings or I will get bored quickly. She does not learn. Sadly.
Tomorrow, we are going to a funeral at her home town in Isio. Another family gathering. I like the place because I know where the local watering holes are. And I know the local stray dogs and cats on first name basis. We might discuss cricket...or football....or even the election. Just hope the beer will be cold.
All for now
Regards
The problem is due to an AMD Driver issue and I have been sent a recovery disk to cure the problem. However, being computer illiterate I am at the moment delaying the moment when I try it out. Just plucking up the nerve I guess. No idea what Word Document is! The computer crash happens maybe once in two days but only once I had to retype a reply here.
Stokkevn: You did not say whether it was a small or big faux pas on the jeepney! With me the problem is different. When I sit down on a tricycle with my shorts, the groin area for some reason bulges up as if I have a Linford Christie lunch pack down there. Its just the way the shorts are and nothing else. She seems to think that pinays can see this from a 100 metres away. I just laugh. But she can talk.....she sometimes wears short shorts and I have to say she has lovely legs. They start underneath her armpits. Normally she dresses up to the nines each time we go out and I have said before she is one of the best dressed women in Sipalay. Her make-up and hair is impeccable. She gets looks from the blokes here. And so do I. They are probably wondering what is a lovely lady like that doing with an old codger like me. Maybe they think its the Linford Christie lunchbox. Or the bulge in my pocket.
Her jealousy can be both good or bad. Good like yesterday...The woman that does her nails could not come yesterday so she said she was going into the market to have them done. This procedure takes between 1 and 2 hrs. I didn't fancy sitting here on my own for that time so I said I will come with her to the parlour and then wait on the beach for her. To her this means one thing. I will drink nasty beer...letch at beautiful women....have an affair....or maybe run off with another lady for ever. She elected to do her nails herself at home. The bad effects means that I feel obliged to go to family gatherings. She loves those and I would prefer to stay here.....and go to the beach for a few swift halfs. But if I did not go.....she wouldn't either. She would not leave me here alone. So I go so she can enjoy herself.
The problem with these gatherings is that I get bored. I am told to sit somewhere (like a dog?) and smile sweetly at all and sundry. If I strike up a conversation with someone in English....she will come along and quickly turn it into Illongo. I have complained about this before...but to no avail. So, I then go out and find a suitable watering hole for a few swift halfs and have a scintillating conversation with the local stray dog. Or cat. This prompts urgent messages from her every 5 mins asking where I am......what I am doing.....and do not drink. Sometimes I forget to hear my phone ringing out these messages. This then produces urgent messages every 2 minutes. But.....as I have told her numerous times. Include me in the gatherings or I will get bored quickly. She does not learn. Sadly.
Tomorrow, we are going to a funeral at her home town in Isio. Another family gathering. I like the place because I know where the local watering holes are. And I know the local stray dogs and cats on first name basis. We might discuss cricket...or football....or even the election. Just hope the beer will be cold.
All for now
Regards
Last edited by Jerseygirl; Oct 11th 2017 at 10:01 pm.
#475
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Joined: Feb 2014
Location: Capiz
Posts: 1,646
re: Me and My Family
Stokkevn: You did not say whether it was a small or big faux pas on the jeepney! With me the problem is different. When I sit down on a tricycle with my shorts, the groin area for some reason bulges up as if I have a Linford Christie lunch pack down there. Its just the way the shorts are and nothing else. She seems to think that pinays can see this from a 100 metres away. I just laugh. But she can talk.....she sometimes wears short shorts and I have to say she has lovely legs. They start underneath her armpits. Normally she dresses up to the nines each time we go out and I have said before she is one of the best dressed women in Sipalay. Her make-up and hair is impeccable. She gets looks from the blokes here. And so do I. They are probably wondering what is a lovely lady like that doing with an old codger like me. Maybe they think its the Linford Christie lunchbox. Or the bulge in my pocket.
Last edited by BEVS; Oct 11th 2017 at 11:05 pm.
#476
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re: Me and My Family
Thanks Stokkevn. I have to say that your missus is very brave being happy to wear just a tee-shirt.....at least my lovely lady puts on a pair of shorts or something as well!
All quiet here. She mentioned today that she will pay her pension premium tomorrow when we go to Bacolod at the Philam office. She is picking up about 80k in payments from an on-line client from the UK who is here for a few days. No idea what her profits are, but she will pay from that. We shall see.
She has now had a fish pond built....and very nice too. All her own money. We have been back and forth to a place about 2 hours away buying fish. She is very engrossed in them and talks to them. Also she had an aquarium made. Had to console her when a fish died. Burial took place down the toilet.
She spent a lot of money having the pond built plus aquarium and fish. Not really a sign for someone who is about to leg it to Kuwait.
She is spending more time at her parents house....ok....about an hour or so a day. Don't mind that...I can type on here without her being perched on my shoulder. Must be because they no longer visit very much.
Soooo....all sweetness and light here. Still awaiting a divorce settlement and see how the finances stand. If it goes badly....then so maybe all the all sweetness and light will go with it. But tomorrow is another day......
Regards
All quiet here. She mentioned today that she will pay her pension premium tomorrow when we go to Bacolod at the Philam office. She is picking up about 80k in payments from an on-line client from the UK who is here for a few days. No idea what her profits are, but she will pay from that. We shall see.
She has now had a fish pond built....and very nice too. All her own money. We have been back and forth to a place about 2 hours away buying fish. She is very engrossed in them and talks to them. Also she had an aquarium made. Had to console her when a fish died. Burial took place down the toilet.
She spent a lot of money having the pond built plus aquarium and fish. Not really a sign for someone who is about to leg it to Kuwait.
She is spending more time at her parents house....ok....about an hour or so a day. Don't mind that...I can type on here without her being perched on my shoulder. Must be because they no longer visit very much.
Soooo....all sweetness and light here. Still awaiting a divorce settlement and see how the finances stand. If it goes badly....then so maybe all the all sweetness and light will go with it. But tomorrow is another day......
Regards
Last edited by Jerseygirl; Oct 11th 2017 at 10:02 pm.
#478
re: Me and My Family
That speaks volumes, doesn't it.
Good luck with that. I took on a fish pond when we moved house once. It looks very nice at the start, then you get the algae and the fish poo and they start breeding. It's a lot of work to keep it looking nice. I hope she has some patience.
Good luck with that. I took on a fish pond when we moved house once. It looks very nice at the start, then you get the algae and the fish poo and they start breeding. It's a lot of work to keep it looking nice. I hope she has some patience.
Last edited by BEVS; Oct 11th 2017 at 11:05 pm.
#479
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re: Me and My Family
Thanks bakedbean,
Most true about ponds and aquariums. I have kept them for over 30 years and enjoy doing so fortunately. Worm boy has two ponds now outside our house and they are already beginning to get neglected. Water is murky with algae. I thought her mother (she who used to waddle through our house at will and owes 7k) bought it for him. But it was his grandfather. When he came into money with the bonus he splashed out (pun intended) and paid for both. Side tracking.....The e-cig kit I bought him for Xmas was a bad mistake on my part. He is now forever after e-liquid, batteries etc. Even though he came into money and bought a phone, ponds, Cignal TV, a holiday in Cebu etc, he still cadges e-cig accessories off me. It would have been nice if he bought his own with the money he had. Silly me.....I forgot I am in the Philippines.
She is making the usual over feeding mistakes which beginners make. She thought that because they were gasping for air at the top of a murky tank, they wanted food. So in rained more high protein pellets that sank immediately to the bottom. I had to change the water etc.....she couldn't be asked. Too busy chatting on fb etc. I didn't mind to be fair.
The pension premium still has not been paid....but will be tomorrow. I wont go into the long confusing story that makes no sense, but she pawned some jewelry this morning to pay for it.
She has no logic which is exasperating. She receives and pays money 2 or 3 times a day at Palawan etc. She can wait up to about 30 mins each time she goes there. I suggested that she should go once per day and conduct all the transactions at once. She made a good impression of a brick wall. Once she gets notification of a payment, she is off like a rocket. When I first arrived here, I suggested walks during the day. No way....it was far too hot. But not hot enough to collect moneyso it seems.
..
Most true about ponds and aquariums. I have kept them for over 30 years and enjoy doing so fortunately. Worm boy has two ponds now outside our house and they are already beginning to get neglected. Water is murky with algae. I thought her mother (she who used to waddle through our house at will and owes 7k) bought it for him. But it was his grandfather. When he came into money with the bonus he splashed out (pun intended) and paid for both. Side tracking.....The e-cig kit I bought him for Xmas was a bad mistake on my part. He is now forever after e-liquid, batteries etc. Even though he came into money and bought a phone, ponds, Cignal TV, a holiday in Cebu etc, he still cadges e-cig accessories off me. It would have been nice if he bought his own with the money he had. Silly me.....I forgot I am in the Philippines.
She is making the usual over feeding mistakes which beginners make. She thought that because they were gasping for air at the top of a murky tank, they wanted food. So in rained more high protein pellets that sank immediately to the bottom. I had to change the water etc.....she couldn't be asked. Too busy chatting on fb etc. I didn't mind to be fair.
The pension premium still has not been paid....but will be tomorrow. I wont go into the long confusing story that makes no sense, but she pawned some jewelry this morning to pay for it.
She has no logic which is exasperating. She receives and pays money 2 or 3 times a day at Palawan etc. She can wait up to about 30 mins each time she goes there. I suggested that she should go once per day and conduct all the transactions at once. She made a good impression of a brick wall. Once she gets notification of a payment, she is off like a rocket. When I first arrived here, I suggested walks during the day. No way....it was far too hot. But not hot enough to collect moneyso it seems.
..
Last edited by BEVS; Oct 11th 2017 at 11:05 pm.
#480
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re: Me and My Family
Murky and neglected fish ponds outside your house, ? Maybe not relevant to your neck of the woods but I feel I should raise the Dengue risk here in case you inspire others.
Up here in a first class subdivision in Tagaytay it was children of incoming maintenance workers getting it which one read about in the monthly newsletter. Living some way away in the Barrios of Upper Cavite. Leading one to be a bit blase about the risk. And the carrier mosquitoes with the black and white legs never seemed to be around the house - then I got it - a mild case, but still needed a 36 hour dextrose drip. Equating it with mild 'flu, as one hears,didn't do it justice.
Got no evidence, but highly suspect to me was our quite large murky and neglected Grotto pond in the back garden. Stable doors etc...it's now been filled in.
Up here in a first class subdivision in Tagaytay it was children of incoming maintenance workers getting it which one read about in the monthly newsletter. Living some way away in the Barrios of Upper Cavite. Leading one to be a bit blase about the risk. And the carrier mosquitoes with the black and white legs never seemed to be around the house - then I got it - a mild case, but still needed a 36 hour dextrose drip. Equating it with mild 'flu, as one hears,didn't do it justice.
Got no evidence, but highly suspect to me was our quite large murky and neglected Grotto pond in the back garden. Stable doors etc...it's now been filled in.
Last edited by BEVS; Oct 11th 2017 at 11:05 pm.