Me and My Family
Feb 23rd 2016, 3:27 am
#376
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Location: Capiz
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re: Me and My Family
The Red Horse custom has been tried on me once, I just told then I would take it off the hundreds they owe me, they never bothered again.
The rat revenge is another one of their fears here, along with the "Tik-Tik" or "Wak-Wak" which is the top half of a lady, dressed in white and floats around after dark looking for victims to catch. Everyone here has seen these but upon closer interrogation no one has actually seen one on the way to a party but only on the way home from one. Well that solved that case.
Another suspicion they have here is if you can hear a dog howling after dark someone in the family will die. I have taken full advantage of this, I know how to set my dogs off to sound like Timber Wolves ( well the 2 largest ones, the small one sounds more like an asthmatic mouse, but he tries ). When any of the neighbours are have a loud and late party I quietly set the dogs off howling, within minutes the party is shut down and guests rush home, the ones of nervous disposition have to be escorted to protect them possible "Tik-Tik" or "Wak-Wak" attack , quiet returns to the neighbourhood.
The rat revenge is another one of their fears here, along with the "Tik-Tik" or "Wak-Wak" which is the top half of a lady, dressed in white and floats around after dark looking for victims to catch. Everyone here has seen these but upon closer interrogation no one has actually seen one on the way to a party but only on the way home from one. Well that solved that case.
Another suspicion they have here is if you can hear a dog howling after dark someone in the family will die. I have taken full advantage of this, I know how to set my dogs off to sound like Timber Wolves ( well the 2 largest ones, the small one sounds more like an asthmatic mouse, but he tries ). When any of the neighbours are have a loud and late party I quietly set the dogs off howling, within minutes the party is shut down and guests rush home, the ones of nervous disposition have to be escorted to protect them possible "Tik-Tik" or "Wak-Wak" attack , quiet returns to the neighbourhood.
Feb 24th 2016, 4:02 am
#377
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re: Me and My Family
Greetings all,
Stokkevn, your story was the funniest thing I have heard for a long time! It brings a smile each time I think about it. Certainly brightened up my day. When the family used to visit, sometimes one of the kids would want to venture into the bedroom. They were frightened out when my lovely lady would shout that there was a *Mo Mo* (sp) in there. Think its a witch. But it did the trick. They used to run out pretty quickly! We nearly rented a place near to the local cemetery but my gf would not want to live there. Something to do with wandering spirits or something.
Two things: The registered document was in fact a new credit card. This surprised me because they normally come by normal mail. Then the car. Turns out the Mayor asked my gf father to take the new mayoral car for registering about 2 hours away. No idea why he wanted me to come also. But I suspect it was to buy a few beers on the way back.
Saw a small rat in the outside kitchen the other night. No way was I going to kill it but wanted to chase it out with the broom. My lovely lady thought I had evil intentions and said if it was a rat with a pointy type nose then if I killed it, all his family and mates will come round and attack us or eat all our clothes. Or worse still....both. She was serious as well. She showed me something on fb the other day. It was a story of a woman who had given birth to a big snake. I said that it was rubbish. But she showed me the undisputable evidence. 3 pictures on fb. One of a disheveled woman....one of a dead snake and one of a big stick which she used to club the poor new born snake as it made its appearance into this world. Besides, she told me triumphantly that it must be true.....its trending on fb. Well....that told me then.
Her family came around this morning for the first time for a while. Their well had run dry as it does in summer and wanted to use our water for washing clothes. So....this meant a cold shower for me as the hot water does not work if the outside tap is running. Had to put a kids dvd on to entertain them. No CNN news for me then. She cooked breakfast for them all which I guess is better than a fish-head on a stick. Oh....and my water bill will go up by an average 300 peso pm. Joy of joys.
Worm boy is alive and well. Still coughing like crazy. His mother wanted to borrow 1k to help pay for the hospital bills/medicine etc. She would normally ask me but didn't this time. Because she owes me 5k still. She asked my lovely lady who said because she has no money (white lie) she could let her have the 1k allowance she sends weekly to her younger sister at college. But the 1k must be returned quickly so she could send the allowance. The 1k was returned the next day. Guess that's the way to do it. Lesson learned for me and well done my lovely lady for being so astute.
Gf doing well selling on-line. Apart from jewelry, she bought a couple of phones off Ensongo for a customer and will make an instant 10k profit when she gets paid. But thinking about it later, she normally gets paid for jewelry before she buys. No risk to her. But for the phones, it was different. I used my credit card to pay for them and she will repay me when the phones are delivered and the customer has paid. Not a good idea methinks. But we will see.
Her phone broke down last week and she wailed that she could not do any on-line business. Or chat endlessly on fb, viber or messenger. And the rest. It would take about 6 weeks to fix. So, she wanted a replacement. But she could not afford a decent phone which has at least 32 gigs for her business. No idea what a gig is. Thought they were concerts. Soooooo.....I helped her buy (credit card) an I-phone 6 (?) on a plan. It was an all singing all dancing (I see the connection with concerts now) 64 gigs. It even has predictive text. This was a down payment of 14k and 2.5k per month until the year dot. Found out later it cost 45k. Or was it 54k? She will pay the downpayment in 3 "gives" and meet the monthly payments out of her vast profits. I somehow have a foreboding about all this.
All is marital bliss still. Not seen a pout or flounce for a while. This seems to be replaced by an "angry" face. Think bulldogs face stung by a wasp....and you have it.
Off to Bohol on Friday for 3 days. But I have a feeling her family takes over the house to *look after it* I never like the idea of a free reign over the house. Guess I am thinking they are measuring up for curtains etc. But I will make sure the fridge is empty of Red Horse.
A
Stokkevn, your story was the funniest thing I have heard for a long time! It brings a smile each time I think about it. Certainly brightened up my day. When the family used to visit, sometimes one of the kids would want to venture into the bedroom. They were frightened out when my lovely lady would shout that there was a *Mo Mo* (sp) in there. Think its a witch. But it did the trick. They used to run out pretty quickly! We nearly rented a place near to the local cemetery but my gf would not want to live there. Something to do with wandering spirits or something.
Two things: The registered document was in fact a new credit card. This surprised me because they normally come by normal mail. Then the car. Turns out the Mayor asked my gf father to take the new mayoral car for registering about 2 hours away. No idea why he wanted me to come also. But I suspect it was to buy a few beers on the way back.
Saw a small rat in the outside kitchen the other night. No way was I going to kill it but wanted to chase it out with the broom. My lovely lady thought I had evil intentions and said if it was a rat with a pointy type nose then if I killed it, all his family and mates will come round and attack us or eat all our clothes. Or worse still....both. She was serious as well. She showed me something on fb the other day. It was a story of a woman who had given birth to a big snake. I said that it was rubbish. But she showed me the undisputable evidence. 3 pictures on fb. One of a disheveled woman....one of a dead snake and one of a big stick which she used to club the poor new born snake as it made its appearance into this world. Besides, she told me triumphantly that it must be true.....its trending on fb. Well....that told me then.
Her family came around this morning for the first time for a while. Their well had run dry as it does in summer and wanted to use our water for washing clothes. So....this meant a cold shower for me as the hot water does not work if the outside tap is running. Had to put a kids dvd on to entertain them. No CNN news for me then. She cooked breakfast for them all which I guess is better than a fish-head on a stick. Oh....and my water bill will go up by an average 300 peso pm. Joy of joys.
Worm boy is alive and well. Still coughing like crazy. His mother wanted to borrow 1k to help pay for the hospital bills/medicine etc. She would normally ask me but didn't this time. Because she owes me 5k still. She asked my lovely lady who said because she has no money (white lie) she could let her have the 1k allowance she sends weekly to her younger sister at college. But the 1k must be returned quickly so she could send the allowance. The 1k was returned the next day. Guess that's the way to do it. Lesson learned for me and well done my lovely lady for being so astute.
Gf doing well selling on-line. Apart from jewelry, she bought a couple of phones off Ensongo for a customer and will make an instant 10k profit when she gets paid. But thinking about it later, she normally gets paid for jewelry before she buys. No risk to her. But for the phones, it was different. I used my credit card to pay for them and she will repay me when the phones are delivered and the customer has paid. Not a good idea methinks. But we will see.
Her phone broke down last week and she wailed that she could not do any on-line business. Or chat endlessly on fb, viber or messenger. And the rest. It would take about 6 weeks to fix. So, she wanted a replacement. But she could not afford a decent phone which has at least 32 gigs for her business. No idea what a gig is. Thought they were concerts. Soooooo.....I helped her buy (credit card) an I-phone 6 (?) on a plan. It was an all singing all dancing (I see the connection with concerts now) 64 gigs. It even has predictive text. This was a down payment of 14k and 2.5k per month until the year dot. Found out later it cost 45k. Or was it 54k? She will pay the downpayment in 3 "gives" and meet the monthly payments out of her vast profits. I somehow have a foreboding about all this.
All is marital bliss still. Not seen a pout or flounce for a while. This seems to be replaced by an "angry" face. Think bulldogs face stung by a wasp....and you have it.
Off to Bohol on Friday for 3 days. But I have a feeling her family takes over the house to *look after it* I never like the idea of a free reign over the house. Guess I am thinking they are measuring up for curtains etc. But I will make sure the fridge is empty of Red Horse.
A
Last edited by BEVS; Oct 11th 2017 at 10:12 pm.
Mar 8th 2016, 6:53 am
#378
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Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
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re: Me and My Family
Pinay logic always amazes me:
My lovely lady has a friend in the USA married to an American fella. She wanted some dried fish because it is too expensive apparently out there. Her husband is not a pauper. So....she asks her friend in Manila to buy locally and send out to the US. But friend in Manila says its too expensive and asks my lovely lady to buy some here where it is cheaper. Soooo.....gf goes to the market and buys a load of dried fish. Cost 450 peso. Sends to Manila.....cost 650 peso. The economics just do not make sense. Then the dried fish has to be sent to the USA. How much will that be? This all fell on deaf ears and provoked an angry face.
We have poor internet here and it is affecting her on-line business. I was commanded to send numerous e.mails which I dutifully did. Speaking to a brick wall was the end result. So, she decided to ring. Which is what I suggested in the first place. A heated discussion took place which resulted in her (me) vowing not to pay this months bill. Logic then goes out of the window. If we do not pay the bill we get cut off. Then what happens to her business? Further discussion on this provoked an angry face. But I will pay anyway....The fact that I use the internet for banking etc seemed to have escaped her.
I like to buy my own clothes. Which is very rarely. We argue about what size shirts she wants to buy me and she reckons XL will fit. Now, I am about average weight and height and I reckoned medium or maybe large. She bought me 6 shirts from the local market which was jolly nice and quite cheap at 30/50 peso. Now, if anyone sees a foreigner mincing around wearing a tent.....that's me.
All good here still. Nice and quiet. Her business is doing very well although someone asked if she is paying tax on her profits. No she is not. She is only selling to her fb friends. Not sure about the implications on this. This someone is a fb friend who has been very negative about my lovely lady.
A
My lovely lady has a friend in the USA married to an American fella. She wanted some dried fish because it is too expensive apparently out there. Her husband is not a pauper. So....she asks her friend in Manila to buy locally and send out to the US. But friend in Manila says its too expensive and asks my lovely lady to buy some here where it is cheaper. Soooo.....gf goes to the market and buys a load of dried fish. Cost 450 peso. Sends to Manila.....cost 650 peso. The economics just do not make sense. Then the dried fish has to be sent to the USA. How much will that be? This all fell on deaf ears and provoked an angry face.
We have poor internet here and it is affecting her on-line business. I was commanded to send numerous e.mails which I dutifully did. Speaking to a brick wall was the end result. So, she decided to ring. Which is what I suggested in the first place. A heated discussion took place which resulted in her (me) vowing not to pay this months bill. Logic then goes out of the window. If we do not pay the bill we get cut off. Then what happens to her business? Further discussion on this provoked an angry face. But I will pay anyway....The fact that I use the internet for banking etc seemed to have escaped her.
I like to buy my own clothes. Which is very rarely. We argue about what size shirts she wants to buy me and she reckons XL will fit. Now, I am about average weight and height and I reckoned medium or maybe large. She bought me 6 shirts from the local market which was jolly nice and quite cheap at 30/50 peso. Now, if anyone sees a foreigner mincing around wearing a tent.....that's me.
All good here still. Nice and quiet. Her business is doing very well although someone asked if she is paying tax on her profits. No she is not. She is only selling to her fb friends. Not sure about the implications on this. This someone is a fb friend who has been very negative about my lovely lady.
A
Last edited by BEVS; Oct 23rd 2017 at 9:04 pm.
Mar 8th 2016, 9:16 am
#379
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Location: Capiz
Posts: 1,646
re: Me and My Family
Sending dried fish by post should be banned. When we were living in Aberdeen my mother-in-law sent a package of dried fish to my wife ( by registered post, who the heck she thought was going to steal it I have no idea ). Postman rocks up Saturday morning asking if my wife was in because she had to sign for a package, she was not so I said he should come back later. With that he opened his bag took out a split package smelling pretty ripe and said "Take that now, I will be back later for the signature". I felt sorry for him, that smell had been following him for a couple of hours.
Mar 8th 2016, 11:49 pm
#380
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Joined: Dec 2013
Location: Consolacion,Cebu
Posts: 1,931
re: Me and My Family
Sending dried fish by post should be banned. When we were living in Aberdeen my mother-in-law sent a package of dried fish to my wife ( by registered post, who the heck she thought was going to steal it I have no idea ). Postman rocks up Saturday morning asking if my wife was in because she had to sign for a package, she was not so I said he should come back later. With that he opened his bag took out a split package smelling pretty ripe and said "Take that now, I will be back later for the signature". I felt sorry for him, that smell had been following him for a couple of hours.
Mar 9th 2016, 12:43 am
#381
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Joined: Dec 2013
Location: Consolacion,Cebu
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re: Me and My Family
Pinay logic always amazes me:
All good here still. Nice and quiet. Her business is doing very well although someone asked if she is paying tax on her profits. No she is not. She is only selling to her fb friends. Not sure about the implications on this. This someone is a fb friend who has been very negative about my lovely lady.
All good here still. Nice and quiet. Her business is doing very well although someone asked if she is paying tax on her profits. No she is not. She is only selling to her fb friends. Not sure about the implications on this. This someone is a fb friend who has been very negative about my lovely lady.
I can't find it at the moment but I saw an article a few months ago saying the BIR would pay a reward for persons reporting online sellers - Just a heads up.
Last edited by BEVS; Oct 23rd 2017 at 9:05 pm.
Mar 9th 2016, 2:31 am
#382
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re: Me and My Family
Many thanks for that Quiltman. I have invited her to see the article and note your comment. But she is not interested. Guess its something in the water here where the law does not exist. She was asked by a customer for her bank details which she readily gave. I explained the dangers of giving out such details but that has fallen on deaf ears. She cannot be bothered to use Paypal. The customer in question is also a suspicious character according to her. Looking at her fb I could only agree. But I can only advise.
Last edited by BEVS; Oct 23rd 2017 at 9:04 pm.
Mar 9th 2016, 1:03 pm
#383
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re: Me and My Family
Many thanks for that Quiltman. I have invited her to see the article and note your comment. But she is not interested. Guess its something in the water here where the law does not exist. She was asked by a customer for her bank details which she readily gave. I explained the dangers of giving out such details but that has fallen on deaf ears. She cannot be bothered to use Paypal. The customer in question is also a suspicious character according to her. Looking at her fb I could only agree. But I can only advise.
It only takes one disgruntled customer, but if she will not be told, or at least be wary............. Trouble is they see all their friends getting away with it and think they are just as immune.
Last edited by BEVS; Oct 23rd 2017 at 9:04 pm.
Mar 24th 2016, 2:37 am
#384
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re: Me and My Family
My first field trip. And perhaps last.
Gf sister who as you know is living here free of charge and owes 5000 peso, works in a child play school for pre schooling children and obtains money from somewhere for "field trips" for the little kids. My lovely lady and I were invited to one to visit a zoo which was about 4 hrs away. A treat for the small children. My little enthusiasm waned somewhat when I learnt we would have to get up at 2.00 am.
I noted to my gf when arriving at the departure point that there seemed to be more people than seats on the bus. She said no. I think I won that argument when she found herself with a little boy sat on her lap for most of the journey. Sadly he was flatulent. Worm boy made himself useful by helping everyone eat their snacks.
We arrived at about 8.00 at Dumaguete but no Zoo. Never mind. 30 mins of selfies by the sea whilst I wandered off shaking my head heading for a coffee or three.
Selfies done, we leapt back onto the bus and headed for...wait for it....a shopping mall. Gf tells me these young ankle snappers love malls. Yeah right....I think the mothers love them better. Sadly the mall did not open until 10.00 and we were an hour early. Cue more selfies. And two more cups of coffee.
The parents were getting restless after selfies were done and couldn't be asked to wait until the mall opened. 30 minutes is indeed a long time. Leapt onto the bus again to go to a water park. After about an hour we found this place which did indeed contain water. A nice colour green with a stink of chlorine in the air. Cue more selfies. I was now looking for a bar. No one wanted to swim there so away we went again. I could hear mutterings of discontent at the back of the bus and flatulent boy was being passed about. Never did find out who his mother was.
After another hour or so we arrived at the Zoo. I wanted a bar. Zoo wasn't too bad and contained a few scabby goats, a disinterested camel and a few butterflies. The tigers might have been good but they were too busy sleeping despite the best efforts of the keepers to wake them up by throwing water over them. Anyway....cue more selfies. I searched high and low for a bar....but in vain.
Late dinner was offloaded off the bus which just seemed to be large buckets of rice and fish heads. I was not hungry. I noted an interesting fact at the zoo....worm boy can hear the rustle of a crisp packet at about 100 metres.
Back on the bus again.... and I thought at last...home! But no. Because the mall at Dumaguete was closed they thought they would visit another one. But it was about an hour or so out of the way back home. Flatulent boy was again hurriedly passed around and some of the other kids were getting a bit restless. The ladies were getting animated. Not sure if it was about the zoo.... or the proposed visit to the mall.
Arrived at Mall. Cue yet more selfies. I can tell you one thing about the Mall, it does not have a bar. I searched every inch of the place. The ladies went around towing reluctant children around the shops and came out with bags of clothes etc. I was by this time losing my sense of humour as my lovely lady had to inspect most shops in the place. I amused myself by putting womens underwear over my head much to her annoyance.
At last....home time. But cue more selfies. The coach was now overfull with passengers and bags of shopping. Worm boy came away with numerous bags of snacks which kept him occupied for the 3 hour trip back home. Flatulent boy was again passed about and eventually I felt a bit sorry for him. So I got him to sit my gf lap.
So...that's my first school field trip. Will I go an another? No. I have lost interest in Zoos.
Gf sister who as you know is living here free of charge and owes 5000 peso, works in a child play school for pre schooling children and obtains money from somewhere for "field trips" for the little kids. My lovely lady and I were invited to one to visit a zoo which was about 4 hrs away. A treat for the small children. My little enthusiasm waned somewhat when I learnt we would have to get up at 2.00 am.
I noted to my gf when arriving at the departure point that there seemed to be more people than seats on the bus. She said no. I think I won that argument when she found herself with a little boy sat on her lap for most of the journey. Sadly he was flatulent. Worm boy made himself useful by helping everyone eat their snacks.
We arrived at about 8.00 at Dumaguete but no Zoo. Never mind. 30 mins of selfies by the sea whilst I wandered off shaking my head heading for a coffee or three.
Selfies done, we leapt back onto the bus and headed for...wait for it....a shopping mall. Gf tells me these young ankle snappers love malls. Yeah right....I think the mothers love them better. Sadly the mall did not open until 10.00 and we were an hour early. Cue more selfies. And two more cups of coffee.
The parents were getting restless after selfies were done and couldn't be asked to wait until the mall opened. 30 minutes is indeed a long time. Leapt onto the bus again to go to a water park. After about an hour we found this place which did indeed contain water. A nice colour green with a stink of chlorine in the air. Cue more selfies. I was now looking for a bar. No one wanted to swim there so away we went again. I could hear mutterings of discontent at the back of the bus and flatulent boy was being passed about. Never did find out who his mother was.
After another hour or so we arrived at the Zoo. I wanted a bar. Zoo wasn't too bad and contained a few scabby goats, a disinterested camel and a few butterflies. The tigers might have been good but they were too busy sleeping despite the best efforts of the keepers to wake them up by throwing water over them. Anyway....cue more selfies. I searched high and low for a bar....but in vain.
Late dinner was offloaded off the bus which just seemed to be large buckets of rice and fish heads. I was not hungry. I noted an interesting fact at the zoo....worm boy can hear the rustle of a crisp packet at about 100 metres.
Back on the bus again.... and I thought at last...home! But no. Because the mall at Dumaguete was closed they thought they would visit another one. But it was about an hour or so out of the way back home. Flatulent boy was again hurriedly passed around and some of the other kids were getting a bit restless. The ladies were getting animated. Not sure if it was about the zoo.... or the proposed visit to the mall.
Arrived at Mall. Cue yet more selfies. I can tell you one thing about the Mall, it does not have a bar. I searched every inch of the place. The ladies went around towing reluctant children around the shops and came out with bags of clothes etc. I was by this time losing my sense of humour as my lovely lady had to inspect most shops in the place. I amused myself by putting womens underwear over my head much to her annoyance.
At last....home time. But cue more selfies. The coach was now overfull with passengers and bags of shopping. Worm boy came away with numerous bags of snacks which kept him occupied for the 3 hour trip back home. Flatulent boy was again passed about and eventually I felt a bit sorry for him. So I got him to sit my gf lap.
So...that's my first school field trip. Will I go an another? No. I have lost interest in Zoos.
Last edited by BEVS; Oct 11th 2017 at 10:13 pm.
Mar 24th 2016, 5:48 am
#385
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Joined: Feb 2014
Location: Capiz
Posts: 1,646
re: Me and My Family
Ahhh! The distant memories of my first and last road trip organised by someone else. You will find yourself feeling a little unwell in a few days time, that will be the very pleasant and friendly little kid that you quite liked has given you flu or a bad cold. When I take the family anywhere I always hire jeepney(s), bit dusty but less chance of catching something from the little darlings. You did well to have only one mini-flatulence in the group. Another to avoid is visiting dead distant relatives, who always seem to live on the top of mountains in the jungle and who are kept there until sufficient funds have been acquired to bury them, here it is normally about one month, by the last night they are starting to get a bit ripe.
Zoos here are not well kept nor do they have an extensive array of animals. Boracay zoo contained a few years ago 2 bear-cats in a 4 foot by 2 foot cage, the obligatory goats, a couple of geckos ( not sure if these were part of the display or had just come in for the insects ), a pair of pigeons ( one sitting on the perch and the other lying dead on the bottom of the cage and obviously had for some time ) and what could have been an owl but as it had no feathers it was a bit difficult to identify.
Zoos here are not well kept nor do they have an extensive array of animals. Boracay zoo contained a few years ago 2 bear-cats in a 4 foot by 2 foot cage, the obligatory goats, a couple of geckos ( not sure if these were part of the display or had just come in for the insects ), a pair of pigeons ( one sitting on the perch and the other lying dead on the bottom of the cage and obviously had for some time ) and what could have been an owl but as it had no feathers it was a bit difficult to identify.
Last edited by BEVS; Oct 11th 2017 at 10:13 pm. Reason: can't spell
Mar 24th 2016, 7:52 am
#387
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Joined: Dec 2013
Location: Consolacion,Cebu
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re: Me and My Family
Oh dear! Surely by now you've been here long enough to know that NOTHING is what it seems. A 2.00am start should have given you a clue - what Zoo is 8 hours away by bus? I suppose Cebu City Zoo might just be in range with the ferry crossing. At least take comfort from the thought that your experience is a warning to others! Keep up the good work of keeping the rest of us amused by your "adventures" . I'm still smiling. 
Last edited by BEVS; Oct 23rd 2017 at 9:05 pm.
Mar 25th 2016, 12:45 pm
#388
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re: Me and My Family
Life here maybe as frustrating as heck but there are the lighter sides of living in the provinces and some of them more logical than you may think and if you don't have a good sense of humour life could get complicated. Many years ago I ordered a large pig to roast on the BBQ, the pig & owner turned up at the appointed time but unfortunately the pig was still alive. I asked the owner why he had not killed it in the market, bled it and shaved it in the available warm water. He just looked at me and asked if I expected him to carry it up to my house. Fair comment, as the pig was about the same size as him.
