Me and My Family

Old Jan 20th 2020, 2:44 pm
  #3856  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Rete View Post
We are entitled to opinions. They are freely given. However, few of us, myself included, do view P11 as a mentally incompetent, over the hill, doddering old man. He is free to live his life in whatever manner he chooses just as you are free to live yours. I hope you never find yourself on the receiving end of your children taking your life away from you and making all your personal and financial decisions for you.
P11 is telling his story and can make his own decisions. He never really came online to get our opinion but to recount what is transpiring in his life. He seems to have a handle on it.
P11 do what you feel you have to do.
As he said in his reply, his sons and close family know all about it, so whether they decide to do anything or not is up to them.
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Old Jan 20th 2020, 10:58 pm
  #3857  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by moneypenny20 View Post

Do you still 'look after' your ex wife?
That’s an interesting question. P11 left his wife in the marital home, whereby she must have been paying for upkeep, Utilities, insurance and council tax. At the time of divorce, when she got the house, and he got his full military pension, he wondered if he should insist on his wife paying back rent from the time he left. Now why would a man ask a wife from a 40 year marriage to pay back rent for living in her own home, when he is willingly paying rent of a scam artist who pretended to be married to him?
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Old Jan 21st 2020, 8:15 am
  #3858  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Mallory View Post
That’s an interesting question. P11 left his wife in the marital home, whereby she must have been paying for upkeep, Utilities, insurance and council tax. At the time of divorce, when she got the house, and he got his full military pension, he wondered if he should insist on his wife paying back rent from the time he left. Now why would a man ask a wife from a 40 year marriage to pay back rent for living in her own home, when he is willingly paying rent of a scam artist who pretended to be married to him?
Another indication perhaps of why a family member needs to take charge of situation. I feel bad for OP aging in the Philippines, clearly over his head dealing with this woman and culture there, yet stubbornly carrying on and paying her bills. Seems to make it easy for her to try to manipulate him or for that matter find him through contact and mutual people they now.

I have heard original poster's reluctance to just go back home, but I wonder not just go back for a few months to clear his head of this situation and if being in Philippines so important return and not tell this woman or make it easy for her to find him. I know if my father had ever been in such a situation I certainly would have stepped in to deal with, especially being elderly in a country like the Philippines- maybe his sons should read this thread from the beginning one day.
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Old Jan 21st 2020, 11:09 am
  #3859  
 
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by morpeth View Post
Another indication perhaps of why a family member needs to take charge of situation. I feel bad for OP aging in the Philippines, clearly over his head dealing with this woman and culture there, yet stubbornly carrying on and paying her bills. Seems to make it easy for her to try to manipulate him or for that matter find him through contact and mutual people they now.

I have heard original poster's reluctance to just go back home, but I wonder not just go back for a few months to clear his head of this situation and if being in Philippines so important return and not tell this woman or make it easy for her to find him. I know if my father had ever been in such a situation I certainly would have stepped in to deal with, especially being elderly in a country like the Philippines- maybe his sons should read this thread from the beginning one day.
Very valid point about removing yourself from the situation for a while. The Thais have a saying about the frog in the coconut shell. All the frog knows is what is inside the shell and nothing from outside.

You can put any limit of scale on the shell. But if P11 was the frog and the Philippines was the shell, maybe he should remind himself what life outside the shell is like, and reassess what the shell looks like from the outside too.

Objectivity tends to increase with distance.

Come across many people who until they remove themselves from a situation, find it difficult to really see that situation for what it is.

On a purely practical note, and I don't know how things work in the Philippines, but would it be worth re-entering the Philippines on a new passport with a new visa? If P11 is that worried about retribution might be a good idea to be in country on a passport no-one knows the number of.
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Old Jan 21st 2020, 12:29 pm
  #3860  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

A return back to the motherland for a visit with family and friends, would be seen as a Failure, or a "I told you so" moment for P11's pride.

P11 is I believe (please correct me if I'm wrong) immigration status is as a 30 - 59 day Tourist. He never gained his marriage visa, or RSSV before his current love life fell a part. Sooner or later, it''s only a matter of time before the LL (Lecherous Lady) will want more than rent money, or whatever is the new catch word. She'll or other LF (Lecherous family) will blackmail him for more...ie...give me more money, or I call immigration.
The real truth has nothing to do with the allegations, he will now have a mark against his name in the visa system. Unless he plans to take his new friend the Vice-mayor / Lawyer...with him for every trip to the BI...It's being denied, or spending a few nights in jail might force him out of the RP. Pay the LL / LF or pay the lawyer fee's...

Why would anyone want to have an ax over his head, every 30 - 59 days. Perhaps the 1st thing he needs to do is shore up his visa status. Expedite the RSSV long term visa will give him more of a stead footing.

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Old Jan 21st 2020, 1:34 pm
  #3861  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Wired Tight
P11 quite recently extended his visa at BI and did not experience any difficulties,
SRRV is probably not an option as it requires a significant sum to be deposited for 5 years if my memory serves.
P11 can stay in Phils for up, to 36 months on renewed visa which can be issued for six months at a time.
LL isn't going to do anything as it costs money and her incentive is to garner money. My views on him being an gentleman are well documented.
The absolute worst case scenario is that he is deported. He won't be jailed as he is over 70 years of age.
End of!
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Old Jan 21st 2020, 1:58 pm
  #3862  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

As the systems here are 90% paper based. Maybe to escape any threat from the ex-her-in-doors. Zip back to the UK, change name ( even just by a couple of letters ) by deed poll, get new passport in new name and return to Ph a new and invigorated man that has nothing to worry about apart from who will be the next LL ( after a swift background check this time ).
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Old Jan 21st 2020, 3:02 pm
  #3863  
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How did the frog get into the coconut?
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Old Jan 21st 2020, 5:03 pm
  #3864  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

LL is a TRULY VILE lady (I make no apologies for using this accurate description),yet not quite as bad as my ex.

Please P11,just cut all links.I do not want to see the rest of your life ruined.
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Old Jan 21st 2020, 6:14 pm
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He is a foolish old man. Why we should we try to save him ?
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Old Jan 21st 2020, 6:36 pm
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Default Re: Me and My Family

People keep saying "foolish old man."..Maybe/maybe not.It's not just the older guys that get stung.I have seen a few decent looking youngish guys (in their 30s) get badly scammed over there.It seems to be prevalent nationwide,almost a National pastime.

Some would say i am generalising,others might say i am bitter,or even bitter AND racist.MANY others will say that they are in a happy relationship and have had no problems whatsoever.However,it does seem that the "exceptions to the rule" are becoming more and more common by the day.

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Old Jan 22nd 2020, 3:53 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Greetings!

I am bemused by the comments that infer that I am a senile doddery old man. And that bandwagon is continuing so lets put that to bed once and for all. I am physically fit (albeit a bad back for which I am receiving TENS treatment, of sound mind and mentally alert. My biggest failing which I recognize is that I failed to take full control of my domestic situation by my easy going nature. That has been remedied. With that out of the way.....lets move on.

People still seem to misunderstand why I am still financing her and will continue to do so until the end of February. The reason is...I WANT to. Yes, I know I don't have to. Why? Because it is not in my nature to inflict hardship on people except as a last resort perhaps. I do NOT want her to go to jail, but I will put her there as my last salvo if I went down. Yes, I still have feelings for her despite what she has done and indeed I feel sad and have compassion for her. Leaving the place I loved and the woman I once loved has been difficult for me but it is getting easier but still very painful. I hope I have put that to bed now. Also, there has been no more manipulating or scamming. Hope that's been put to bed now.

Where are we now? Today she is moving house with the help of her family. And yes. I financed that also. She insists she has a job which she will take up once she has settled into her new home. So far my envisaged plan is working. Before I cast her free, I wanted her to be rehoused satisfactorily and in employment. By keeping all communications open, I know of her plans/threats and will also stand me in good stead in any case against me. By financing her until the end of February that will also stand me in good stead. Of course, if she can show that her first marriage was indeed a sham, I will have no option but to continually support her. But, a family court will decide the amount which I am advised would be very little or nothing.

The biggest revelation came yesterday, when Bealinehx stated that I cannot be jailed because I am over 70. I have researched that and it is correct. Next time my wife throws threats at me, I will hit her with that which will spike her guns somewhat. Yes, they can still deport me in the unlikely event of been found guilty. Then if I wished I could do as previously suggested and come back with a new identity. Speaking of threats, I have not had a venomous message from her for a while. Indeed, the few messages I have getting have been short, civil and polite. I reply in kind.

Although I miss the place I loved, I have settled well here with some very good friends. I have also struck up a relationship with a woman who is fun to be with. She is the life and soul of any gathering and is also a very hard worker. She works in a restobar with my favourite crew, and starts work at 4.00 making 50 takeout breakfasts to sell in the market. She is on duty until the last customer leaves which could be as late as 2.00 am. She sleeps in the restobar and has one day off a week when she goes away to see her kids. All for 200 peso per day. I admire her for her tenacity and hard work and has asked for money just once. She knows she cannot ask again. Ok, I do buy her a couple of beers and a packet of fags when I visit each evening and that's it. The relationship cannot be lasting because she has too much baggage (7 kids I believe) and her English is not the best. But she is a source of comfort at the moment.

Anyway....that's enough from this doddery old fart

Regards all
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Old Jan 22nd 2020, 5:41 am
  #3868  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11 View Post
Greetings!

I am bemused by the comments that infer that I am a senile doddery old man. And that bandwagon is continuing so lets put that to bed once and for all. I am physically fit (albeit a bad back for which I am receiving TENS treatment, of sound mind and mentally alert. My biggest failing which I recognize is that I failed to take full control of my domestic situation by my easy going nature. That has been remedied. With that out of the way.....lets move on.

People still seem to misunderstand why I am still financing her and will continue to do so until the end of February. The reason is...I WANT to. Yes, I know I don't have to. Why? Because it is not in my nature to inflict hardship on people except as a last resort perhaps. I do NOT want her to go to jail, but I will put her there as my last salvo if I went down. Yes, I still have feelings for her despite what she has done and indeed I feel sad and have compassion for her. Leaving the place I loved and the woman I once loved has been difficult for me but it is getting easier but still very painful. I hope I have put that to bed now. Also, there has been no more manipulating or scamming. Hope that's been put to bed now.

Where are we now? Today she is moving house with the help of her family. And yes. I financed that also. She insists she has a job which she will take up once she has settled into her new home. So far my envisaged plan is working. Before I cast her free, I wanted her to be rehoused satisfactorily and in employment. By keeping all communications open, I know of her plans/threats and will also stand me in good stead in any case against me. By financing her until the end of February that will also stand me in good stead. Of course, if she can show that her first marriage was indeed a sham, I will have no option but to continually support her. But, a family court will decide the amount which I am advised would be very little or nothing.

The biggest revelation came yesterday, when Bealinehx stated that I cannot be jailed because I am over 70. I have researched that and it is correct. Next time my wife throws threats at me, I will hit her with that which will spike her guns somewhat. Yes, they can still deport me in the unlikely event of been found guilty. Then if I wished I could do as previously suggested and come back with a new identity. Speaking of threats, I have not had a venomous message from her for a while. Indeed, the few messages I have getting have been short, civil and polite. I reply in kind.

Although I miss the place I loved, I have settled well here with some very good friends. I have also struck up a relationship with a woman who is fun to be with. She is the life and soul of any gathering and is also a very hard worker. She works in a restobar with my favourite crew, and starts work at 4.00 making 50 takeout breakfasts to sell in the market. She is on duty until the last customer leaves which could be as late as 2.00 am. She sleeps in the restobar and has one day off a week when she goes away to see her kids. All for 200 peso per day. I admire her for her tenacity and hard work and has asked for money just once. She knows she cannot ask again. Ok, I do buy her a couple of beers and a packet of fags when I visit each evening and that's it. The relationship cannot be lasting because she has too much baggage (7 kids I believe) and her English is not the best. But she is a source of comfort at the moment.

Anyway....that's enough from this doddery old fart

Regards all
There we go again...…...the sad soap opera continues for another 5 years. And me thinks this new LL is the reason the old fool is still hanging around.
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Old Jan 22nd 2020, 5:44 am
  #3869  
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If 4 is ok, and 7 too much. What number is the tipping point?
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Old Jan 22nd 2020, 6:14 am
  #3870  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Nice update P11. Thanks. Good to see you are moving on and it is getting easier. I think people forget the effect that love has, and even when they do nasty things, somehow we always hope they will change their ways. Of course they never do, but we are brought up to be caring and forgiving. Just the way it is. Its your money and your life and if it makes you sleep better then so be it. You will probably continue past February with the handouts, but hopefully you will eventually cut the cord.
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