moneypenny20

Firstly no one is sure she has a job and secondly I believe P11 is a traditionalist and feels it's his job to support her. Also there's the abandonment issue he brings up. No idea if that's actually a real thing or not, I know nothing about The Philippines and their laws but he believes if he doesn't support her, she'll do him for abandonment and it'll cost him.

Elgin1983

P11, is there any reason you would prefer to stay in Philippines rather than elsewhere in SE Asia? The better proficiency in English perhaps? Or is there part of you that is hoping against hope to return to the happier early days with LL?

I'm not criticising or judging in any way; none of us here can know the full picture and it is your life to live as you please. Given what you've told us of LL's devious and deranged behaviour and the potential for various legal problems, like many people here I would recommend you leave the country. I am just wondering if there is anything else keeping you there?

Philosophical 11

Greetings!

Quick update whilst I have decent internet....

Still living in temp accommodation with a Filipina family (long story) and looking for something more permanent.

She now states that she has filed me a case and reported me to immigration under ACT 9262 (Violation Against Women). which I haven't read yet, but I suspect its just another threat.

I am told that because this is a civil matter, Immigration wont be interested. I have a tourist visa and due for renewal in a few days. I shall be requesting only a two month extension....not the normal 6 months.

She has quit her supposed job at the call centre due to ill health (High blood pressure) and I am awaiting a doctors certificate and test results.

Creditor for the 191k has been harassing her but as I said to her I am NFI....

She made a recent threat also stating that because I have left DNA behind (reading between the lines) that she has employed a witch doctor to inflict insufferable pain on my body. The only pain I have is her ....in my back-side.

Anyway...all for now.

Regards

spouse of scouse

What a certifiable fruit cake she is. Nice to hear that you're with a family and not alone P11.

Rete

Thanks for stopping in and updating us. Was thinking about you a lot and hoping all is well.

Her threats and words are as empty as all the other promises she made over the years. Stay well.

tropicofcancer

Glad things are better for you. May they continue to improve.
At this stage it's like having a tooth out: Sad to lose the tooth; but happy that the pain it caused, has gone!
Best Wishes!

Bealinehx

P11,
You have left LL and I really do not understand why
"I am awaiting a doctors certificate and test results."
I am amazed that you are going down the road of self inflicted emotional distress/pain.
Why can't you just cut the umbilical cord.?

If you have gone to PNP and they have entered your version of events on the blotter why worry.
Are you still on the same island? If so that opens another can of worms.
Take care and watch your back.

RedApe

Seems that she is the one doing all these acts against you...and the dog. I hope you've kept that somewhere as well as documentation of other events. Also document each and every effort by her to contact you. Maybe get a solicitor to handle any contacts.

Check any credit cards, bank cards, or other accounts to see if they are running up charges. Cancel and dispute.

Actually if she is seeking a temporary contact/restraint order all the better. You may not be able to go to back to the village, and may have to use intermediaries to pick up any property.

The requirements that you provide her with any support legally due her or her (your) children requires her to prove, in court, that she is legally due some sort of support.

http://hrlibrary.umn.edu/research/Ph...20Children.pdf

Philosophical 11

Let me explain the Abandonment Law in the Philippines again. It is a legal requirement for the husband to financially support the wife if they separate. This means her basic needs which includes medicine. Now, she has said that she suffers from high blood pressure and I have now seen the prescription from the doctor which includes lab tests. Now obviously I am not going to fork out money without seeing the evidence.....which is what I have now done.There is no cutting off the umbilical cord in the Philippines where an ex-pat is involved.

Interestingly, the doctor gave her a prescription before she had completed her lab tests. That came to about 4k from memory and I instructed her to get the lab tests done first without buying the meds. She was then told by me to take lab report to another doctor which she is going to do. I just found it odd that a doctor would offer a prescription without first seeing lab test reports. Lab test is for liver function (she had that done before when admitted to hospital), high BP and Cholesterol. Her meds was for all 3. She may not have problems with cholesterol or liver function, Seems stupid to waste money on something not required. I suspect her high BP is due to stress only. Or being physocotic....(sp)

To answer your remaining points...I am on a different island well north of her. I have also filed two incident reports regarding her violent behavior.

Moving on...

I asked her to get a doctors certificate from her place of work to say that she is medically unfit for work.. When she went there to collect her salary, the doctor was not there. No surprise there then. So...no contract of employment..no doctors certificate. However, when she goes back to the doctor with her lab tests, I will get her to ask for a medical certificate stating that she is unfit for work.

A skeleton has emerged. This morning I got a msg from someone alleging my wife owes 12k for for undelivered jewelry dating back 9 months. Wife says the post office has lost it and is awaiting compensation. Same old tired excuses.....but not my problem. I hope.

Regards

Millhouse

Bealinehx

As Millhouse stated,
"What exactly is holding you to staying in the country vs leaving and never returning? "
A good question. You could leave for a few months and return without LL ever knowing.

Philosophical 11

I think I have answered this question numerous times....."what is holding me in this country?" I have two small pensions which will not go very far in the UK. The UK holds nothing for me except my two sons who now I believe will come to visit at some point now that I have left my wife. It is a cold wet climate and I would be living on the breadline now with my depleted pensions. Here, it is a tropical climate...I wont say paradise....and I love the country and people. I can live reasonably well on my pensions here and not in austerity in the UK.. I left with a very heavy heart the place I loved and with sadness that I failed to make our relationship work. As I mentioned before, I actually feel sorry for my wife who is destroying her life but I could not let that happen to me. It has been mooted by a very good friend here that maybe I should go back but we live as separate entities....not as man and wife. I am still considering that option but really I suspect it would be impracticable. I like where I am now, but yearn for the place I loved. Hopefully that will dim from my memory.

Going back to the Uk and returning here a few months later.....Yes that is an option. But I would also take time to study other places to live in the far east. Maybe even file for bankruptcy if I am eligible and come back with a clean sheet. That would mean deleting my social media and losing touch with friends I have made here. And there are many. But...I would always be looking over my shoulder fearing that my past catches up with me perhaps with grave consequences. No. I want to try and make our split as amicable as possible and done the right way. Maybe that will not be possible in the very near future but hopefully in the long term it can be achieved. I just want to live the rest of my life in peace.

Thanks all again for your welcome comments. I can tell you they are very heartwarming in these difficult times.

Regards

Dorothy

P11, I don't think anyone is suggesting you go back to the UK. I think it's being suggested that you find another place where your pensions will be enough to live on without the constant checking over your shoulder for what's going to happen next. Cambodia, Thailand, Indonesia and Malaysia have been mentioned. They're all beautiful countries where you could live by the beach and enjoy your retirement.

Honestly, I don't see an amicable split in your future. Maybe you want it to be amicable, but your wife has proven to you over and over that she cannot be trusted. If it were me, I would always have to wonder what new scheme she was cooking up. Con artists don't do amicable.

Millhouse

Rete

Look old man (we are the same age so I can get away with calling you that), that is a sh!t thought and attitude. A relationship's success hinges on the willingness of BOTH parties to work to make it successful. Your wife did nothing to contribute to a loving, caring and strong relationship. Her love was conditional. When you financially and physically supported her schemes, lies and duplicity, she would favor you with wife adoring. The moment you stepped out of line, she became Frankenstein's bride and treated worse than she treated her pet dogs.

You can be sad that the relationship did not work but you can't pin the blame on yourself. You can be mad at yourself for continuing to believe there was a chance that she was truthful when all evidence was to the contrary. You, however, share no fault in the breakdown of this marriage.

As for remaining legally married and living close by each other, for some people it is possible. I know that after my divorce my first husband and I saw each other, had coffee together, chatted and were friendly. He met my then fiancee and they got on fabulously. That's a rarity, I believe. It was only when his second wife became jealous of our children and our continuing friendship that she told him, it is them or me and he left his children never to see them or talk with them again for 30 years. He's now ashes in the wind and that opportunity is gone.

I'm glad your eyes are opening, albeit slowly, and that you are finding some peace in your new island. Good things will come from this move, love, just give it time and patience.

Rita