mikek1

Some words spring to mind.......................Charlatan, Pretentious, and GOLD DIGGER.

The best guide for selling jewellery is the weight of the gold. Check out the price of the gold on the net and that's about the worth. The workmanship and artistry of the piece is relatively worthless, its only the melt down weight that's of value. There are exceptions , however its highly unlikely that your average person would own any of these items.

Gazza-d

If they offered about 1/3rd what your gf paid was likely closer to the real value. Pawn shops aren't there to sell to but to loan you money on some collateral. My bother in law when he came home from a holiday from the Far East would come loaded with all sorts of electrical goods for the house. The day after he went back his wife would be straight down the pawn shop and sell it all for a fraction of what it had cost. She didn't care as she only wanted the money.

scot47

Are they still happily married ?

Philosophical 11

Thanks all,

Yes, this is exactly what I told her. They will only give scrap value ie weight and carat. This was Italian Gold 14 carat and 14 grams. I valued it for her before she went to the pawn shop and didn't believe me. She does now. This was probably worth the 43k because of the design and name. We saw something similar but 10 grams going for 32k. Before we went to collect it, I asked for details about weight, carat and expectations from the pawn shop. She said she did not know. Don't believe that. Anyway, that was a waste of 2 days including 18 hours travelling and waiting. Wont be doing that again.

Interestingly (well I thought so), no one knew we were going to Bacolod. Normally she tells her family and they give her a shopping list. Her father came round that night and asked why we went to Bacolod. I just shrugged my shoulders and said I had no idea. I also wore that "resigned look".

Normally they come around most evenings with the kids they are looking after. They go straight to the biscuit basket and help themselves and ask for orange drinks from the fridge. Her father sits next to me expecting a beer. Funny thing about the biscuits...whereas before they were put out of the way so they could not be seen, gf decided to put them on show which resulted in biscuits for everyone. Ok, its only a few peso but I wasn't happy they came in and generally helped themselves. So I fought fire with fire. They came in and I gave them all 3 or 4 packets each to take home with them. Any other visitors also had a load of biscuits. Gf chastised me about this and now they are hidden out of the way again.

Her mother and father came around the other night and asking them how they were, they said they had no money. I said I had no money either. That was the end of that.

I don't mind them coming around in the evening...in fact I think its good. I do like to see them. But not when I am having dinner. I like to eat in peace and quiet without having everyone watching each mouthful I take. Gf sister's son is the worst. He is pre-teens and scrawny but eats like a horse. Reckon he has worms. Gf feeds him in the evening also. But what she does is knowingly make too much for me so that the left-overs go to him most nights. I try to get around that by eating the "good bits" and taking a mouthful of everything else. But it doesn't deter the boy with worms.

All for now.

Waiting for the next lightning bolt from the blue.....

Stokkevn

Kids here seem quite at home eating food with bite marks already missing. When I first started to come to the Philippines I was on the patio reading a book and eating my Extra Strong Trebor mints when I noticed a little pair of eyes peering over the edge of the patio looking at my mints, so I gave him one, he put it in his mouth, 5 seconds later spat it out and gave it to his sister. It went through 7 mouths before they threw it over the fence.

If you need to protect your food try putting on English mustard, horse radish sauce or if all else fails Marmite.

In our house when the family is round there are only two sorts of people The Quick or The Hungry.

mikek1

You must have the patience of a saint. Why don't you put down some ground rules ? You seem to have got your g/f to accept the logic of a financial budget, why not other issues.
When we are in the Philippines it would be impossible for anyone (children, adults, visitors, etc.) to be anywhere near me when I am eating . I am like you and want to eat without gloating eyes staring at me. My wife's family know that I WANT and NEED some 'space' so they keep clear when I want just that. I am not mean, but the family has to ask first before anything is taken from our kitchen, fridge, etc.
Many on this site and other sites have advised that it is beneficial not to live to close to your spouses family . From what you are writing it would appear that your house is constantly overrun with the g/f family. You state you don't mind this, but I would reckon this easy going attitude will wear off, particularly when you get fed up of all the 'liberties' and money problems that are put on you.
Get some rules made and adapted prompto !!

InVinoVeritas

I'm trying to remember who said that the closest he would live to his wife's family was a neighbouring city, provided that it wasn't in the same country.

Gazza-d

We are still a couple of years from moving fulltime and the wife's family have been very good, but the wife is even at this stage is going hot and cold about using the family lot when we do make the jump. I think her main concern is that we will be in a very poor rural barungay and it's more the neighbours she is concerned about. She wants to have a car and she sees the neighbours constantly wanting to borrow it for weddings christenings, little Juan has a bolo stuck up his nose and needs to go to hospital etc etc.

Philosophical 11

Mikek1 and all,

*Patience of a saint* Yes, I do fortunately otherwise this thread would probably have ended on page 4! After reading your valid comments about "educating" my gf, I think back at far I have come since stepping foot on these shores.

I think of being stung twice for feeding the 5000 on first arrival for about 3k each time. I resolved that issue by "forgetting" my wallet on the 3rd invitation to a family get together. It was funny watching them all emptying their pockets. I paid about 500 peso the next day as my and gf fair share. Never had that problem again.

Resolved issue of sisters using our shower by threatening to get in with them next time it happened.

Resolved having to leave house open when we went out for an hour or so. This was so that family could avail themselves to our facilities...tv, fridge etc. Soon as I saw beer going missing then things got serious. House is now always locked. Duplicate keys now taken from her father.

Food was being spirited out by my gf. She now tells me when that happens but I smile at her spurious reasons why we do not need orange drink that is "old" at 2 days etc. And over-large meals for us so the family can have left-overs. That should be resolved soon once I can get my hands on Colemans mustard.

Being used an ATM...turned down flat the big requests such as buying this property, buying her father a house, taking on his 80k debt and more recently buying gold jewellery at an auction. I have a 30k max credit line for them to borrow. That is nearly at the maximum thanks to a foreigner who borrowed 11k (4 months ago and not paid back..but promised later this month). Her father and sister have 10k in overdue debts and they know they wont get any more until that is repaid. I don't mind overdue debts, but I do wish an apology or explanation would be forthcoming. Never happens.

They are just a few examples of "educating" my gf with endless patience. She has also "educated" me on their culture. So its a two way street.

I have just won the biscuit battle. Cannot convince them that worm boy has worms and he should see a doctor. Cannot yet educate her to replace the toilet paper when she has used the last piece. Most annoying when your hand reaches out to an empty toilet roll. Cannot yet convince her I do not really need a bucket full of watermelon 5 times a week. And there are a few others when logic seems to get lost upon her. Such as having a shower curtain which incidentally was fitted about 12" above the floor. When she has a shower, she uses the curtain and then proceeds to wash the whole bathroom area with a hose thus making it a wet room. Yours truly goes in there to use the toilet, drops shorts which soaks them, and use soggy toilet paper. Assuming she has refilled the holder.

Yes, I have the patience of a saint. The only time I got angry and threatened her with eviction if it happened again was when I think she and her family creamed off 8k from her sisters 30k tuition fees I paid.

I agree that having her family nearby can be a pain. But fortunately, I am quite tolerate. But also, they can be an advantage living about 800km away. Her father knows everyone if a problem needs to be solved. Their motor tricycle is at her beck and call. I prefer to walk normally. In general, their kids are great and I get on very well with all family members. I prefer them here on balance. And she has been away from them for 4 years so she deserves to be back in the fold.

Gf told me this morning that her ex-Kuwait employer is pregnant again and wants her back. I think the crunch will come when the owner of this house demands I buy or leave. Then we will see who she cares for more.

Finally, I have said before, I trust her 99.9% but the .1% weighs on my mind. Have they got a cunning plan for me to buy her parents a house, pay off her fathers debt, then she b.....s off back to Kuwait mission accomplished? Doubt it. But the doubt is very real in my mind.

InVinoVeritas

I like your thinking here,

Philosophical 11

Interestingly enough which places the doubt in my mind is a message a received a few months ago. It was one of her fb friends who "befriended" me much to my gf annoyance. She said she was a trouble maker and she likes to break up relationships. She sent a message to say that my gf accepts that I am old, but she does not care because once she has all my money, she will leave me. She had many bf in Manila before going to Kuwait apparently. She also said she had the messages to prove her real intentions toward me. I did not see the messages and then she blocked me. My gf thought it was amusing and copied the message to me on fb much to the mirth and merriment of her friends.

Anyway...that's how it hangs

Stokkevn

I know two guys ( one German other from USA ) who have been taken to the cleaners by gf's. The German ended up being poisoned, the local doctors said it was a heart attack, until his kids in Germany demanded an independent and professional postmortem overseen by the German embassy then it came out that he had been poisoned, gf as far as I understand is still on the run. Her family were quick to strip the house of anything that could be removed. Thankfully the cases are rare and not normally as damaging as a UK divorce lawyer. In the case of your gf's so called friend I see a green eyed monster ready to make a move.

Philosophical 11

Thanks for that Stokkevn.

This is now becoming a thread about my gf which is sad, but I guess of my own making.

I will say this about her. She is very insecure and I know deep down she maybe thinks I am missing my sons. I am also recently separated and she asks about if I am going back to the UK to see her or my sons. I think she wants to feel secure and one way of doing that would be for me to buy this house, or her parents house or take on her fathers loan. That would prove commitment I guess. Of course I will not do that and she will have to trust me. She most certainly wants to marry and have my children....hence the bucketful of water-melon every other night. Maybe that is the characteristics of a pinay. I don't know. But we will see.

Stokkevn

Unfortunately most are insecure here, even my missus after living nearly 30 years in the UK, still comes out with accusing me with still having contact with my ex-wife 20 years after being divorced from her. She is a bit jealous of my contact with my son in Norway and my grand kids, frightened that I might go and live there instead.

It must be an Asian thing as a friend is married to a Korean and he gets the same grief as I do.

InVinoVeritas

That is a sad story Stokevvn. I think there may be more of this kind of thing going on than we imagine since if the family hadn't pushed, his death would have remained a heart attack. I am always suspicious when I read of people jumping from balconies after a row with the gf, the so called Pattaya Flying Club, for instance.