Me and My Family

Old May 30th 2018, 5:28 am
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Greetings..

Lovely Lady off to a seminar now not far from here to learn about being an agent for this "Worldwide" property agency. Did a background check and they have been in operation for only about 3 weeks and have no website. Just a FB page. They operate from Cebu and have another office elsewhere. Not quite sure where the term "Worldwide " comes into it. I shall look forward to a debriefing. I steered her clear of a pyramid selling company last year. But whatever, I wish her luck. She is very ambitious and deserves something for her efforts.

I have to smile. When she is away overnight, she is always concerned about me being alone. Now, if Waddly is living next door...there is no problem. She can save me from nefarious people who may leap over the wall and demand money with menaces. Or whatever. But because Waddly no longer lives here, or in the past when Waddly was away, then the family sends her uncle over to stay in Waddlys house overnight. Now, in view of Waddlys obvious inability to wrestle a few drug addicts to the ground if they came for an impromptu visit here, I suspect the chaperone is there to ensure I do not have wild parties, or go prowling on the beach searching for....well whatever.

This Uncle is a gem. Apart from the mother in the family, he is the only one I have the greatest respect. He is the "gofor". He has no official job because of his seemingly lack of education and I suspect also suffering from the effects of a mild stroke many years ago. He is genial, very limited in English, and nothing is too much of a problem.. I give him a few peso for ciggies and help with any medical problems he has. But the family do not seem to value or appreciate what he does. They house and feed him and send him out for errands. He could actually be a pet human. Anyway, I always invite him in from Waddlys hutch and we share a few beers toasting the Philippines or whatever. All this whilst watching a live music video with the sound turned up getting my own back on the videoke on the beach a few hundred metres away. And possibly breaking noise pollution laws in the process. His routine on the air guitar (or broom) is something to be seen. I love this man and wish I could do more for him. A complete opposite to the parasitic nature of the others.

Anyway....all for now. Life is good. Again.

Regards
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Old Jun 6th 2018, 7:21 am
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Greetings..

Thought I would take a hint and come out of hibernation..

Nothing of great interest to report, but as my lovely lady is out having her hair done....thought I would bash out a few ramblings.

Everything here is now great and I have no complaints. She is now back to near normal with her family except I think Waddly her elder sister. Not been living here now for a few weeks. Although I have noted that her bf's motor cycle is still here and unused. Someone suggested that perhaps he cannot pay the monthly installments or more likely perhaps its safe here and not where they are staying. But I did expect it to be used at some point. I noticed that Waddly posted an intriguing post on fb....in English. Words to the effect..."You cannot keep your secret safe for ever". It was just a post and that was it.

Going to organize another boat and beach trip for her two sons and the other bratlings later this month. It still feels very surreal when she refers to her two sons. That will take time to get used to.

She still appears to be pawning. A few K here and there. She has now hidden the paper work albeit in the same drawer but covered by underwear and bras. I didn't get where I am today by rummaging through a womans underwear drawer....... so I don't bother.

She tells me she applied for a 20k loan but as the repayments were 1.5k pw, she didn't bother. Unable to afford the repayments.

She has now bought her two sons their school supplies which cost 4,8k. Uniforms, shoes and bags appear to be the bulk of the cost. I offered her half....and she has gratefully accepted this time.

Went to a mates birthday party the other day. The one with the catamaran. (must take a few pics). It weighs 3 tons which gives an idea of size. He is the one who has a gf who is strongly rumoured to be "S.....g on his head" to coin a local phrase. Also at the party was the guy in question. Good looking fella and I can see why he is a wow with the ladies. However, I felt repulsed to see my mate and him laughing and joking together. I happen to believe this pinoy is aware that I know of the rumours.

It has been a few weeks now since the family bust up. To date, I have not seen any money been given to her family when they appear at the gate. I am not naïve enough to believe that the problem is cured but its a start....Mind you, its rare to seen them at the gate now.

So....a boring post. Guess that's how I want it to stay.

Regards

Last edited by Philosophical 11; Jun 6th 2018 at 8:04 am. Reason: Another paragraph
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Old Jun 7th 2018, 12:26 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11 View Post
Greetings..

Thought I would take a hint and come out of hibernation..

Nothing of great interest to report, but as my lovely lady is out having her hair done....thought I would bash out a few ramblings......

She still appears to be pawning. A few K here and there. She has now hidden the paper work albeit in the same drawer but covered by underwear and bras. I didn't get where I am today by rummaging through a womans underwear drawer....... so I don't bother........

Went to a mates birthday party the other day. The one with the catamaran. (must take a few pics). It weighs 3 tons which gives an idea of size. He is the one who has a gf who is strongly rumoured to be "S.....g on his head" to coin a local phrase. Also at the party was the guy in question. Good looking fella and I can see why he is a wow with the ladies. However, I felt repulsed to see my mate and him laughing and joking together. I happen to believe this pinoy is aware that I know of the rumours.

It has been a few weeks now since the family bust up. To date, I have not seen any money been given to her family when they appear at the gate. I am not naïve enough to believe that the problem is cured but its a start....Mind you, its rare to seen them at the gate now.

So....a boring post. Guess that's how I want it to stay.

Regards
This latest post certainly goes against the idea of some that this is all or mostly made up. Because if so it would contain something dramatic, as sitcoms generally do at the end of every episode.

Although the scriptwriter here is slowly developing another tantalising plot line with the Catamaran.

And following the recent Del Boy and Rodders allusion he may now be seeing himself as the balding boss CJ of Reggie Perrin. But watch out P11, as CJ eventually loses his job and ends up begging Reggie for one!

Ordinarily it might be difficult to prevent a thread like this morphing into a Reality Show, where there are often long periods of nothing happening. ...., but this is the Philippines, where in my experience surprises are almost the norm in many areas of life.

This is no Eldorado.......for those of you who didn't see it Eldorado was an early 90s BBC sitcom about Expats on a Spanish Costa, taken off after only a year. So let's just wait for developments.
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Old Jun 9th 2018, 4:03 am
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Raffin,

I was surprised that my reference to CJ would be picked up, but I guess I am not the only one of a certain age that would remember the great sit coms of the past.

I think the developing plot line to use your term is the proposed forthcoming marriage and then house purchase rather than the catamaran which is an interesting side issue.

The catamaran suffered a set back last night when a sudden storm damaged part of the top canopy. Some of the panels have been ripped off which does not bode well for its design or construction. He has been carefully designing a steering system to allow the twin engines to go precisely, to the nearest tenth of a degree, in the right direction. The steering pump has been a big problem with air in the system. Using a large bamboo pole like most pump boats to steer the thing is not something he wishes to contemplate. Everything is to his own design. He was startled when he started the two engines up due to the noise level. He was told that it would be less noisy once water enters the cooling system. Sadly, the engines are air-cooled.

Moving on....

I mentioned in my last post that I have not seen any money being handed out to the family. The same situation still applies. However, I forget that I gave them 3k as an emergency fund, so they could well be squandering that first before looking for handouts. I learnt the other day that Waddly owed my lovely lady 2k from some time ago. One reason why she was given the boot from here. She earns 3k pm from the DSWD and 850pm from the Brgy. No chance of repaying her debts. Has enough money to buy worm-boy a lechon on his birthdays though. Her bf is employed as a bus conductor and is not paid a daily wage. His wage depends on how many passengers the bus carries during the day...and of course new recruits start on the more quieter routes.

I am expecting a repayment of 120k plus interest this month from the gf of a dear ex-pat who died last year. This has been covered previously. He provided for her a time locked savings plan which matures this month. The savings contains millions so I am told. It is with this money I expect to finance our wedding. We took some visiting friends to a nearby resort yesterday and lovely lady decided that was going to be our wedding venue. Whilst the 3 of us were quaffing a few ales, she was being shown around the venue and getting prices etc. Got a final quote of 125k for the venue which includes the accommodation, reception, decorations etc. A coincidence that it matches the amount of the loan repayment methinks. Think she is talking about a 100 guests when she mentioned 100 souvenirs at 90 peso each. Not a lot then. However, I will study the figures when (if) the loan is repaid.

Sooo.....all is hunky dory here. Hope it remains that way.

Regards

Last edited by Philosophical 11; Jun 9th 2018 at 4:11 am.
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Old Jun 10th 2018, 4:24 am
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Should have no problems with the time deposit or treasury bond paying out. We had a treasury bond and when the bond matured the money was deposited into our account immediately. Have since taken out two more, intrest rates are not bad 3.7% gross (20% tax to be deducted), however money only tied up for 86 days and 90 days.There are many options on rates and maturity times.As soon has the bond matured we got a call from the admin of treasury department asking us if we want to reinvest. Our local bank BDO accomplishes all the paperwork.
Members might be interested in our credit card application. We asked our BDO bank manager for a credit card, who said just sign a form and she would authorise it. No proof or question about income were required. Took 3 months for the card to arrive, and when it came it was a JCB card with a limit of 20,000 pesos !! I asked the manager if it was a Jolly Bee card because the limit was ridiculous, and we said you can have it back. Within 2 weeks a new master card and JCB card arrived with a limit of 300k.
Knowing the system we used the card for some high value purchases and used it at every available chance.We paid the cards full debt every month before
the payment was due. We also made a direct debit for 20k a month to be allocated to the card.Had the card for 9 months, limit raised to 600k 3 weeks ago, then after a further week, limit raised to 750k !!!!
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Old Jun 24th 2018, 8:29 am
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Greetings!

You may remember that an American friend died last year and the hospital was refusing to release the body until the death certificate was signed. It would not be signed because of outstanding medical bills which amounted to about 240k. His long term Filipina gf raised about half that from donations from friends but was unable to raise the balance to release him and then commence funeral arrangements. I stepped in and paid the balance with a credit card. She told me she would pay me back out of a time deposit that he had set up a number of years ago. That was due to be unlocked a few days ago. It was.....and empty.

According to her, the bank said that he withdrew the money 3 yrs ago when he returned to the USA . She now assumes the money would have been used for ongoing cancer treatment whilst in the US. The loan plus interest incurred over the 9 months amounted to 140k and I was going to use that for our wedding. That now seems impossible. Maybe a blessing in disguise I can hear you say....

The cost of the resort to be hired was 100k which includes everything for the day. Explaining this to my lovely lady has greatly disappointed her obviously. She says we can cut back on things such as a "pre-nup" which would be 20k. What? 20k for a few pictures!? Anyway, I am now going to try and recover the money from his family and relations. I doubt if that would be successful because she and them are not on good terms. Long story. Failing that, I will have to discuss what the alternatives are with my lovely lady. A "quickie" at the Mayors Office or delay the wedding. Or a compromise on the beach wedding. The resort will accept a credit card for the hire, but that still leaves me a bit short. So....I will try and contact his family and see if they respond to my pleas.

Regards
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Old Jun 24th 2018, 8:46 am
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Lots of lessons of expat life being learnt the hard way. To recap:
1. Never lend money
2. Never bring any money into the host country you can’t afford to lose.
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Old Jun 24th 2018, 10:26 am
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Originally Posted by Millhouse View Post
Lots of lessons of expat life being learnt the hard way. To recap:
1. Never lend money
2. Never bring any money into the host country you can’t afford to lose.

Never truer words said. Mind you I have lent money, but only with the knowledge that I was unlikely to be repaid, rarely disappointed there. The only ones who have repaid though have been non-family members.
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Old Jun 24th 2018, 11:57 am
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About the wedding, is she into the idea of a big wedding, more than the idea of marriage? It's obviously a big face issue. How happy would she be with just a trip to the council office to actually get married? Is that even an option?
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Old Jun 24th 2018, 12:03 pm
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Originally Posted by Stokkevn View Post
Never truer words said. Mind you I have lent money, but only with the knowledge that I was unlikely to be repaid, rarely disappointed there. The only ones who have repaid though have been non-family members.
I've lent money to family and not been paid back, so we just took their land instead. That particular family member has never asked again.

I've also cleared debts for free, when family property was in danger, to then gain a control over what happens to the family property, so that it won't fall into danger again.

Other times I've just written smaller amounts off like 200GBP etc, knowing they'll never be paid back.

My wife's philosophy is that it is good for people to ask to borrow 20GBP and never pay it back, because they can then never ask for larger amounts.
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Old Jun 24th 2018, 12:20 pm
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Originally Posted by Philosophical 11 View Post
Greetings!

You may remember that an American friend died last year and the hospital was refusing to release the body until the death certificate was signed. It would not be signed because of outstanding medical bills which amounted to about 240k. His long term Filipina gf raised about half that from donations from friends but was unable to raise the balance to release him and then commence funeral arrangements. I stepped in and paid the balance with a credit card. She told me she would pay me back out of a time deposit that he had set up a number of years ago. That was due to be unlocked a few days ago. It was.....and empty.

According to her, the bank said that he withdrew the money 3 yrs ago when he returned to the USA . She now assumes the money would have been used for ongoing cancer treatment whilst in the US. The loan plus interest incurred over the 9 months amounted to 140k and I was going to use that for our wedding. That now seems impossible. Maybe a blessing in disguise I can hear you say....

The cost of the resort to be hired was 100k which includes everything for the day. Explaining this to my lovely lady has greatly disappointed her obviously. She says we can cut back on things such as a "pre-nup" which would be 20k. What? 20k for a few pictures!? Anyway, I am now going to try and recover the money from his family and relations. I doubt if that would be successful because she and them are not on good terms. Long story. Failing that, I will have to discuss what the alternatives are with my lovely lady. A "quickie" at the Mayors Office or delay the wedding. Or a compromise on the beach wedding. The resort will accept a credit card for the hire, but that still leaves me a bit short. So....I will try and contact his family and see if they respond to my pleas.

Regards
I'm guessing a pre nup in the Philippines is something different to a pre nup everywhere else?
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Old Jun 24th 2018, 4:10 pm
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Originally Posted by moneypenny20 View Post
I'm guessing a pre nup in the Philippines is something different to a pre nup everywhere else?
Try before you buy?
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Old Jun 24th 2018, 4:19 pm
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Originally Posted by nonthaburi View Post
I've lent money to family and not been paid back, so we just took their land instead. That particular family member has never asked again.

I've also cleared debts for free, when family property was in danger, to then gain a control over what happens to the family property, so that it won't fall into danger again.

Other times I've just written smaller amounts off like 200GBP etc, knowing they'll never be paid back.

My wife's philosophy is that it is good for people to ask to borrow 20GBP and never pay it back, because they can then never ask for larger amounts.
I think your "They can never ask for larger amounts" scheme would not work with the wife's relies. I have had a few that keep coming back to borrow a higher amount than they borrowed last time that they have made no attempt to pay back. These are referred to the wife saying that any default will be deducted from her allowance, none have been successful in securing a loan. So not sure why she expects me to loan them money when she does not trust them to repay it.

I should really do what the local hardware shop has done with his 'no pay' creditors. He has printed out a list of who owes him what and from when and nailed it to the front of his shop. He said that there was a rush of people to pay off their credit with him.
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Old Jun 24th 2018, 4:39 pm
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Originally Posted by Stokkevn View Post
I think your "They can never ask for larger amounts" scheme would not work with the wife's relies. I have had a few that keep coming back to borrow a higher amount than they borrowed last time that they have made no attempt to pay back. These are referred to the wife saying that any default will be deducted from her allowance, none have been successful in securing a loan. So not sure why she expects me to loan them money when she does not trust them to repay it.

I should really do what the local hardware shop has done with his 'no pay' creditors. He has printed out a list of who owes him what and from when and nailed it to the front of his shop. He said that there was a rush of people to pay off their credit with him.
when I said they can't ask again, of course I meant that they do ask again, but it's easy to refuse them without any drama when it can be pointed out that they still owe.

what is absolutely vital though is that both husband and wife are on the same page, and there are no divided loyalties.

not had any family money issues in years now, so we must be doing something right.
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Old Jun 25th 2018, 12:29 pm
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Greetings!

To clarify...

Yes, she wants a big wedding and I doubt if a cheapie before a judge would do. Shes told everyone where the venue is and I guess its losing face big time. An Asian cultural weakness...

Pre-nup. As far as I am aware, I believe its a few pictures prior to the wedding at a picturesque venue of the loving couple. The fee is 15k in our case which includes the wedding photos. The venue of the pre-nup is extra. Although the resort owner has kindly offered his mansion overlooking the sea for nothing.

Loans.. Completely agree. But when you are faced with the situation I was, it is very difficult to say no. Each day laying in the hospital morgue awaiting the death certificate to be signed was adding to the debt. I guess I could have walked away and let the US Embassy or relatives in the US deal with the situation. But with a very distraught Filipina who is a very good friend, adding to the distressing circumstances.....it was a hard call to make.

Whilst taking a break typing this, lovely lady has suggested that we have a quickie. Wedding that is. But its all in the melting pot at the moment and a few considerations have to be made. Honeymoon with the quickie....or beach wedding at a resort with no honeymoon. Decisions.

I have approached my deceased friend's family in the US for sympathetic help in the repayment of the debt that I have had to cover. That was met with animosity. They said that she has received thousands of USD with the promise of the ashes being returned to the US. She gives a different story. Her plan now is to work in Aussie land for a few months to pay off the debts. She reckons she can repay me in two months. We shall see.

One of the family pitched up at the gate today and lovely lady gave him 700 peso. Its started again......

Regards
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