old.sparkles

You find what you look for!

spouse of scouse

Wrong answer - it's 'oh thank you, big strong man, whatever would I do without you to set my rules and boundaries for me'

Elgin1983

A simple question: would P11 be better off had he followed the strategy I espoused?

spouse of scouse

Don't be putting your boundaries and rules on what I should and shouldn't be discussing

Stokkevn

Not always true, I went to a top public school but they were quite happy to leave me and the others to escape Iran under our own steam in 79.

abner

Dude, you're five years late to the party, and you're telling others how they should react to P11...???


P11 has been mostly deaf to suggestions or advice about his gf / wife / grifter / bigamist *since 2015* when the thread started, from any number of contributors.

Nonetheless, as a group we wish him well, and some of the local expats have supported him a great deal beyond that, especially now that his legal jeopardy has become more serious.

Thairetired2016

Majority of workers in Brit. Embassies these days are locals or localky hired Brits. They work for peanuts. Public school doesn't matter as you won't be dealing with H.E. or even a Brit in most cases.

jaygee68

Carlton Browne is the name of the man who will get things done at the Embassy,i am reliably informed.

Rete

It depends on your POV

Is one better off six feet under? That is what Mrs. P11 and/or her creditors would have done to her if he followed your strategy.

Elgin1983

No, if he had made ground rules early on - no marriage; a certain non-negotiable allowance for her per month - he would not be in this pickle. Either she would have left him, or she would have modified her behaviour. Probably the former, but either way he would be in a better situation than is currently the case, legally, mentally, physically and financially.

The idea that he would be "six feet under" for not paying his girlfriend's bills, which he had nothing to do with, is so idiotic it barely merits comment.

Bealinehx

"The idea that he would be "six feet under" for not paying his girlfriend's bills, which he had nothing to do with, is so idiotic it barely merits comment."
Totally disagree there are many instances where foreigners are six feet under for lesser grievances.
By the way Elgin 1983 is that your location?

Elgin1983

If an expat was in a situation where people where threatening him to pay a woman's bills, he would have a much easier time extricating himself from the situation if he wasn't married to her and didn't own the property in which they lived.

Not my current location, but one where I have links.

Red_Wine_Fairy

I think we can all agree on two things here.

1) It would have been far better if they hadn't married, but it is what it is and the clock cannot be turned back, so hypothesising does no good..

2) You have an completely appalling attitude towards women, who are indeed your equal and I have no doubt in many cases, your betters.



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Raffin

Think you do have a point about property, in the first few years of the relationship at least.

If courting a traditional girl living at home or close to the family then the aim of marriage is sensible and probably expected, Living in is probably out of the question..

To reiterate a point I have already made here there are advantages to being married. With older and more independent ladies living together only as a stage towards possible marriage should fully concentrate one to exercise due diligence. Living in for years with no aim and you will tend to ignore warning signs, as you will always think it easy to bail out. And Elgin, you are ignoring what P11 reported here some time ago.....that the family law can also be used against you by an unhappy live in partner.

Doesn't apply in every case. P11 himself reported some early warning signs but continued to give LL the benefit of the doubt. A number of posters here advised him not to marry and to leave the relationship earlier than he did. But if you are that type of person and you are coming out of a divorce then it's difficult to get out in time.

Elgin1983

1. Other men may be reading who are considering a similar path to P11. This is advice for them.

2. No doubt many women are better than me at many things. That does not change the fact that most women (particularly the attractive ones with options, whom most men would actually want) do not feel attraction but contempt for a man who folds and does whatever they want. If you keep them on their toes and don't make it too easy, they won't get bored and will keep making an effort.

It is also a fact that female happiness has been declining in the West for the last 50 years. This is despite significant increases in wealth, possessions, gadgets etc, which should in theory have made lives easier and happier. And yet the opposite is true. Look up "the paradox of declining female happiness". It would seem that feminist empowerment and weak, simp men haven't been so great for women after all.