Me and My Family
Apr 15th 2020, 4:30 pm
#4666
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Re: Me and My Family
If you look back through hundreds of responses of people giving well-meaning advice that you disregarded that early on if you had followed would avoided much of the story you have posted, it is hard to come to the conclusion you did carefully consider the advice given- and if you had you certainly would not be in your current situation. As far as jumping to conclusions, I only go by what your story has been, and the general consensus of most posters and I myself is sympathy for someone going through all this.
As far as furnishings etc there are many decent women there without 9 people or so in their house and not bar girls who would be quite content for some help towards expenses.
While I have come across a few ex servicemen who were alcoholics around Angeles living in such circumstances with probably similar soap opera-like stories, generally with a bit of discernment in choice of girlfriend few Expats would end up living like this- but even when you were with your ex you were adamant that you handled the situation well.
However by all means I do give credit that you claim to be happy, and can maintain a positive attitude while living in the conditions you do.
As far as furnishings etc there are many decent women there without 9 people or so in their house and not bar girls who would be quite content for some help towards expenses.
While I have come across a few ex servicemen who were alcoholics around Angeles living in such circumstances with probably similar soap opera-like stories, generally with a bit of discernment in choice of girlfriend few Expats would end up living like this- but even when you were with your ex you were adamant that you handled the situation well.
However by all means I do give credit that you claim to be happy, and can maintain a positive attitude while living in the conditions you do.
Your first paragraph... Exactly once for instance?
Apr 16th 2020, 9:18 am
#4667
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Re: Me and My Family
P11writes his updates because he knows/expects he'll either get advice, suggestions,, support or bewilderment. If he just wants to write his stuff and we'll just say 'Okay' or not reply at all consider it done. Also I'm pretty sure you yourself have got irritated by his inability to accept some differing opinions over the years.
Unsubscribed from thread as I'm done with this nonsense.
Apr 16th 2020, 12:08 pm
#4668
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Re: Me and My Family
Definition of advice
1 : recommendation regarding a decision or course of conduct : counsel … shall have power, by and with the advice and consent of the Senate, to make treaties … — U.S. Constitution offering medical advice a word of advice2 : information or notice given —usually used in plural… the latest advices from Mexico …— Henry David Thoreau
3 : an official notice concerning a business transaction payment advices
Giving advice does not mean that the person receiving it is required to act upon the advice given. If they asked for the advice, they will consider it and use it or discard it as they chose.
Not following the consensus of the majority, isn't here or there. No one is living his life. No one is privvy to his emotions. No one is walking in his shoes. If he prefers to walk on a rocky road rather than the smooth paved one an eighth of a mile away, that is his choice. So be it.
In fact, I don't recall him really asking for advice on his living conditions or his emotional, financial or physical well being.
as far as a public forum what else did he expect-everyone just to be amused at the soap opera and never to give opinions unless they agreed how wonderful he handled situations.
Apr 17th 2020, 3:13 am
#4669
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Re: Me and My Family
He has asked for advice continually for five years. That's why he started the thread, why it has continued for five years. and he has accepted or ignored that advice as is his right. To suggest he hasn't is naive and blind frankly. No one has held a gun to his head to follow any advice given and everyone has accepted that. It's a public forum, the public are expected to reply in pretty much any way they wish. That's the whole point of the discussion board in the country lifestyle forums.
P11writes his updates because he knows/expects he'll either get advice, suggestions,, support or bewilderment. If he just wants to write his stuff and we'll just say 'Okay' or not reply at all consider it done. Also I'm pretty sure you yourself have got irritated by his inability to accept some differing opinions over the years.
Unsubscribed from thread as I'm done with this nonsense.
P11writes his updates because he knows/expects he'll either get advice, suggestions,, support or bewilderment. If he just wants to write his stuff and we'll just say 'Okay' or not reply at all consider it done. Also I'm pretty sure you yourself have got irritated by his inability to accept some differing opinions over the years.
Unsubscribed from thread as I'm done with this nonsense.
Apr 17th 2020, 3:40 am
#4670
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Re: Me and My Family
I quite agree that he isn't required to follow advice given obvious his choice, but reading his posts going back some time at least to me it doesn't seem- in response to the post recently made - that he seriously considered much prudent advice and as a result ended with his circumstances these past years.many commented on his earlier relationship early on, or to get out of the situation earlier, or just leave the country- and now ends in a slum or sum-like conditions afraid as he seems to have been for years. I just feel bad for him.
as far as a public forum what else did he expect-everyone just to be amused at the soap opera and never to give opinions unless they agreed how wonderful he handled situations.
as far as a public forum what else did he expect-everyone just to be amused at the soap opera and never to give opinions unless they agreed how wonderful he handled situations.
I have posted here and welcomed comments which also included advice. The advice is sifted and discarded as necessary. Some of the early comments were that I would be back with my ex within 3 months. Were you one of them? Wrong. Some said I should return to the UK. So now if I had taken that advice I would have been hounded out of the Philippines by a demented woman. Were you one of them? Wrong. You think that I should get my family involved because I cannot handle the situation. That shows you how little you know me and jump to conclusions.
Now let me tell you something. I have handled this situation without knee jerk reactions. I have taken cautious, considered actions based on proof. Because I have left communications open with her against the advice of many and probably you, I knew exactly what she was planning and have prepared accordingly. I have made sure that she was funded until she found a job, rehoused and her medication was completed. I did not have to do that. Even though that created financial problems I did what was morally right . I sleep better at night. This will also stand me in good stead if and when this comes to trial.
Your last sentence. .....I have written my story because initially it attracted interest. If there were no interest I would not be writing this now. Yes, I always welcome comments whether they are negative or positive. no comments...no story. Simple. As far as advice is concerned, I never ask for it. If advice comes then of course it is considered. But I have done this my way and so far I am happy with the way its worked out and have positive thoughts for the future. If I did it your way, I would probably be back in the UK living in a tiny bedsit....in relative poverty looking out the window wondering ...what if?
Apr 17th 2020, 7:34 am
#4671
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Re: Me and My Family
I have cut and pasted this to save repeating myself which is normally the case with you.....
I have posted here and welcomed comments which also included advice. The advice is sifted and discarded as necessary. Some of the early comments were that I would be back with my ex within 3 months. Were you one of them? Wrong. Some said I should return to the UK. So now if I had taken that advice I would have been hounded out of the Philippines by a demented woman. Were you one of them? Wrong. You think that I should get my family involved because I cannot handle the situation. That shows you how little you know me and jump to conclusions.
Now let me tell you something. I have handled this situation without knee jerk reactions. I have taken cautious, considered actions based on proof. Because I have left communications open with her against the advice of many and probably you, I knew exactly what she was planning and have prepared accordingly. I have made sure that she was funded until she found a job, rehoused and her medication was completed. I did not have to do that. Even though that created financial problems I did what was morally right . I sleep better at night. This will also stand me in good stead if and when this comes to trial.
Your last sentence. .....I have written my story because initially it attracted interest. If there were no interest I would not be writing this now. Yes, I always welcome comments whether they are negative or positive. no comments...no story. Simple. As far as advice is concerned, I never ask for it. If advice comes then of course it is considered. But I have done this my way and so far I am happy with the way its worked out and have positive thoughts for the future. If I did it your way, I would probably be back in the UK living in a tiny bedsit....in relative poverty looking out the window wondering ...what if?
I have posted here and welcomed comments which also included advice. The advice is sifted and discarded as necessary. Some of the early comments were that I would be back with my ex within 3 months. Were you one of them? Wrong. Some said I should return to the UK. So now if I had taken that advice I would have been hounded out of the Philippines by a demented woman. Were you one of them? Wrong. You think that I should get my family involved because I cannot handle the situation. That shows you how little you know me and jump to conclusions.
Now let me tell you something. I have handled this situation without knee jerk reactions. I have taken cautious, considered actions based on proof. Because I have left communications open with her against the advice of many and probably you, I knew exactly what she was planning and have prepared accordingly. I have made sure that she was funded until she found a job, rehoused and her medication was completed. I did not have to do that. Even though that created financial problems I did what was morally right . I sleep better at night. This will also stand me in good stead if and when this comes to trial.
Your last sentence. .....I have written my story because initially it attracted interest. If there were no interest I would not be writing this now. Yes, I always welcome comments whether they are negative or positive. no comments...no story. Simple. As far as advice is concerned, I never ask for it. If advice comes then of course it is considered. But I have done this my way and so far I am happy with the way its worked out and have positive thoughts for the future. If I did it your way, I would probably be back in the UK living in a tiny bedsit....in relative poverty looking out the window wondering ...what if?
However if you can sleep at night and not consumed by fear, anxiety and worry, and consider your situation and the past few years as a normal way to live, and you are happy then at the end of the day certainly it is good you are happy and as I wrote before it is in some respects a credit to you that you are able to live in such circumstances that few Westerners I have come in the Philippines do, and maintain a positive attitude.
Apr 17th 2020, 11:14 am
#4672
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Re: Me and My Family
Well it certainly doesn't appear that you welcome all or even most comments, and certainly I think normal considering the type of relationships you enter into and the type of living conditions you consider acceptable that some may question your approach and actions especially posting the story on a public Forum. That you managed your affairs such that in the UK you would be living in such poor conditions that your conditions in the Philippines are actually a step up certainly seems sad but certainly there are many retirees who move to Third World countries for similar reasons. If living with and putting up with what you call a demented woman for so long, with the anxieties and worries you had had, now with a bar girl and 9 people in a residence the result of calm measured relationship and financial decisions, I think not unusual some would question the decisions made.
However if you can sleep at night and not consumed by fear, anxiety and worry, and consider your situation and the past few years as a normal way to live, and you are happy then at the end of the day certainly it is good you are happy and as I wrote before it is in some respects a credit to you that you are able to live in such circumstances that few Westerners I have come in the Philippines do, and maintain a positive attitude.
However if you can sleep at night and not consumed by fear, anxiety and worry, and consider your situation and the past few years as a normal way to live, and you are happy then at the end of the day certainly it is good you are happy and as I wrote before it is in some respects a credit to you that you are able to live in such circumstances that few Westerners I have come in the Philippines do, and maintain a positive attitude.
Re the accommodation I have again cut and pasted to save repeating myself...
**** Finally you harp on where I am living. You should have read previously that there is no furnished accommodation available in this area. I was not going to splash out on say 20k to part furnish an apartment. That money may be required to help hire an attorney. Also, if I get deported or thrown in jail.....what will happen to the furniture. I was fortunate to find this place by a friend of mine. As stated previously, it is not ideal and indeed I gave it a weeks trial. I didnt think I would stay here after one week. But, I am adaptable, and knew it was temporary only. This was further helped by the kindness and affection given to me by the family here. But I had no other choice. I have however stated that when this lockdown has finished I will endeavor to move out given that my case may take up to a year or so if it came to trial because of the backlog created by Covid 19. The novelty has now worn off not helped by the crowded conditions I now face.******
Yes...I do welcome all comments...but not crass, snide remarks,trolls and the like. They are dealt with in the way i see fit. I would have thought would have been taken as read.
Living conditions....I assume you are comparing living in some bed sit in the UK on a paupers pension with where I am now. If you prefer the former...thats your choice. Good luck with that.
Demented woman....But only in the last few months where she has been issuing threats and filing cases.
Living with a bar girl? Where did you get that crass comment from?
Apr 17th 2020, 4:46 pm
#4673
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Re: Me and My Family
Your comments....
Re the accommodation I have again cut and pasted to save repeating myself...
**** Finally you harp on where I am living. You should have read previously that there is no furnished accommodation available in this area. I was not going to splash out on say 20k to part furnish an apartment. That money may be required to help hire an attorney. Also, if I get deported or thrown in jail.....what will happen to the furniture. I was fortunate to find this place by a friend of mine. As stated previously, it is not ideal and indeed I gave it a weeks trial. I didnt think I would stay here after one week. But, I am adaptable, and knew it was temporary only. This was further helped by the kindness and affection given to me by the family here. But I had no other choice. I have however stated that when this lockdown has finished I will endeavor to move out given that my case may take up to a year or so if it came to trial because of the backlog created by Covid 19. The novelty has now worn off not helped by the crowded conditions I now face.******
Yes...I do welcome all comments...but not crass, snide remarks,trolls and the like. They are dealt with in the way i see fit. I would have thought would have been taken as read.
Living conditions....I assume you are comparing living in some bed sit in the UK on a paupers pension with where I am now. If you prefer the former...thats your choice. Good luck with that.
Demented woman....But only in the last few months where she has been issuing threats and filing cases.
Living with a bar girl? Where did you get that crass comment from?
Re the accommodation I have again cut and pasted to save repeating myself...
**** Finally you harp on where I am living. You should have read previously that there is no furnished accommodation available in this area. I was not going to splash out on say 20k to part furnish an apartment. That money may be required to help hire an attorney. Also, if I get deported or thrown in jail.....what will happen to the furniture. I was fortunate to find this place by a friend of mine. As stated previously, it is not ideal and indeed I gave it a weeks trial. I didnt think I would stay here after one week. But, I am adaptable, and knew it was temporary only. This was further helped by the kindness and affection given to me by the family here. But I had no other choice. I have however stated that when this lockdown has finished I will endeavor to move out given that my case may take up to a year or so if it came to trial because of the backlog created by Covid 19. The novelty has now worn off not helped by the crowded conditions I now face.******
Yes...I do welcome all comments...but not crass, snide remarks,trolls and the like. They are dealt with in the way i see fit. I would have thought would have been taken as read.
Living conditions....I assume you are comparing living in some bed sit in the UK on a paupers pension with where I am now. If you prefer the former...thats your choice. Good luck with that.
Demented woman....But only in the last few months where she has been issuing threats and filing cases.
Living with a bar girl? Where did you get that crass comment from?
If you think the long history you portrayed with your Ex and her behavior is even remotely the sort of behavior most people would consider acceptable ( let alone with putting up with so long) is a normal life story well what can anyone say. Almost from the beginning of this long story seems you were complaining about crazy situations with her.
I thought you had written you met this person who works in a bar as your new fling, maybe I miss-read. I am not sure why that is 'crass' but in any case seems to denote the type of people you seek out.
I actually complimented your ability to be positive in such circumstances, and expressed empathy that your life has been managed in such a way that you would be a pauper back in the UK, though a bit hard for me to imagine your living conditions really would be that much worse than how you are now living though I can see how Philippines for you is more pleasant. And for that I am happy for you that you can stay positive.
Apr 17th 2020, 4:55 pm
#4674
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Re: Me and My Family
As far as snide comments please read your own in responses these past few months.
If you think the long history you portrayed with your Ex and her behavior is even remotely the sort of behavior most people would consider acceptable ( let alone with putting up with so long) is a normal life story well what can anyone say. Almost from the beginning of this long story seems you were complaining about crazy situations with her.
I thought you had written you met this person who works in a bar as your new fling, maybe I miss-read. I am not sure why that is 'crass' but in any case seems to denote the type of people you seek out.
I actually complimented your ability to be positive in such circumstances, and expressed empathy that your life has been managed in such a way that you would be a pauper back in the UK, though a bit hard for me to imagine your living conditions really would be that much worse than how you are now living though I can see how Philippines for you is more pleasant. And for that I am happy for you that you can stay positive.
If you think the long history you portrayed with your Ex and her behavior is even remotely the sort of behavior most people would consider acceptable ( let alone with putting up with so long) is a normal life story well what can anyone say. Almost from the beginning of this long story seems you were complaining about crazy situations with her.
I thought you had written you met this person who works in a bar as your new fling, maybe I miss-read. I am not sure why that is 'crass' but in any case seems to denote the type of people you seek out.
I actually complimented your ability to be positive in such circumstances, and expressed empathy that your life has been managed in such a way that you would be a pauper back in the UK, though a bit hard for me to imagine your living conditions really would be that much worse than how you are now living though I can see how Philippines for you is more pleasant. And for that I am happy for you that you can stay positive.
Apr 17th 2020, 5:06 pm
#4675
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Apr 18th 2020, 4:53 am
#4676
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Re: Me and My Family
As far as snide comments please read your own in responses these past few months.
If you think the long history you portrayed with your Ex and her behavior is even remotely the sort of behavior most people would consider acceptable ( let alone with putting up with so long) is a normal life story well what can anyone say. Almost from the beginning of this long story seems you were complaining about crazy situations with her.
I thought you had written you met this person who works in a bar as your new fling, maybe I miss-read. I am not sure why that is 'crass' but in any case seems to denote the type of people you seek out.
I actually complimented your ability to be positive in such circumstances, and expressed empathy that your life has been managed in such a way that you would be a pauper back in the UK, though a bit hard for me to imagine your living conditions really would be that much worse than how you are now living though I can see how Philippines for you is more pleasant. And for that I am happy for you that you can stay positive.
If you think the long history you portrayed with your Ex and her behavior is even remotely the sort of behavior most people would consider acceptable ( let alone with putting up with so long) is a normal life story well what can anyone say. Almost from the beginning of this long story seems you were complaining about crazy situations with her.
I thought you had written you met this person who works in a bar as your new fling, maybe I miss-read. I am not sure why that is 'crass' but in any case seems to denote the type of people you seek out.
I actually complimented your ability to be positive in such circumstances, and expressed empathy that your life has been managed in such a way that you would be a pauper back in the UK, though a bit hard for me to imagine your living conditions really would be that much worse than how you are now living though I can see how Philippines for you is more pleasant. And for that I am happy for you that you can stay positive.
Second para.....crazy situations. As explained many times before, it is Philippine culture. The crazy situations appeared in the last year of our marriage.
Third para....Bar girl. Not impressed with your explanation to cover your back. You knew exactly what you were saying. No need to apologise.
Apr 18th 2020, 8:49 am
#4678
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Re: Me and My Family
Regards
Apr 18th 2020, 9:34 am
#4679
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Re: Me and My Family
First para....Snide comments etc...They were in response to comments in kind. If I ever did overstep the mark, I made an apology on this forum. No-one is perfect
Second para.....crazy situations. As explained many times before, it is Philippine culture. The crazy situations appeared in the last year of our marriage.
Third para....Bar girl. Not impressed with your explanation to cover your back. You knew exactly what you were saying. No need to apologise.
Second para.....crazy situations. As explained many times before, it is Philippine culture. The crazy situations appeared in the last year of our marriage.
Third para....Bar girl. Not impressed with your explanation to cover your back. You knew exactly what you were saying. No need to apologise.
As far as Philippine culture from experience dating back over 30 years with the Philippines while some elements of the experience you portray part of the local culture, they are plenty of decent women in the Philippines who do not behave that way ,and Expats who do not choose to be in or stay in such situations.
As far as whether you were impressed or not simply this is a public Forum and certainly not unexpected people would comment on your story as many have done. While your story interesting as are some soap operas since it is reality certainly I sympathize with what you have gone through. Again no offense meant and I apologize if any comments you found offensive.
Apr 18th 2020, 9:35 am
#4680
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