Me and My Family
Feb 11th 2020, 7:10 am
#4351
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Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 10,006
Re: Me and My Family
*****you have posted on a public forum so it would be normal to have various comments made-what else did you expect*****Did I say otherwise? I always welcome constructive comments.
******your obsession to continue the drama through continued contact with her, her family and mutual contacts just prolongs the matter.***** There is no obsession from me. As already stated I have no direct contact with her.
****** now you wish to monitor the FB account of another Expat********For very good reason as I have explained before. But I will repeat again for your benefit..... If the rumour is true, then it will weaken her case against me. Also, she may well hit it off with this guy and decide to leave the litigation alone. However as I have stated previously, the rumour came from a very strange source. Now, it could have come from her initially knowing it will get back to me. To get me back over the last few months she has tried being nice.....then came the threats to frighten me back.....how about trying to make me jealous? Nope....that wont work either. She has no direct contact with me so she cannot prolong the threats, this could be just another ruse to get me to come running back to her.
******your obsession to continue the drama through continued contact with her, her family and mutual contacts just prolongs the matter.***** There is no obsession from me. As already stated I have no direct contact with her.
****** now you wish to monitor the FB account of another Expat********For very good reason as I have explained before. But I will repeat again for your benefit..... If the rumour is true, then it will weaken her case against me. Also, she may well hit it off with this guy and decide to leave the litigation alone. However as I have stated previously, the rumour came from a very strange source. Now, it could have come from her initially knowing it will get back to me. To get me back over the last few months she has tried being nice.....then came the threats to frighten me back.....how about trying to make me jealous? Nope....that wont work either. She has no direct contact with me so she cannot prolong the threats, this could be just another ruse to get me to come running back to her.
Your imagining what will strengthen or not strengthen this imagined case she threatens you with, and you making it relatively easy it seems to find you, are just slight indications you can't bring yourself yet to put all this behind you- though considering your posts these past years certainly understandable.
Feb 11th 2020, 7:36 am
#4352
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Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
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Re: Me and My Family
Many have made both what they considered constructive comments, or what a majority considered constructive, as your judgement in this whole matter does seem a bit questionable perhaps re-thinking what was constructive may help you to avoid being drawn into such a situation again- and further reducing your contact wit this person directly ro indirectly.
Your imagining what will strengthen or not strengthen this imagined case she threatens you with, and you making it relatively easy it seems to find you, are just slight indications you can't bring yourself yet to put all this behind you- though considering your posts these past years certainly understandable.
Your imagining what will strengthen or not strengthen this imagined case she threatens you with, and you making it relatively easy it seems to find you, are just slight indications you can't bring yourself yet to put all this behind you- though considering your posts these past years certainly understandable.
Explain to me how it will be easier for her to find me as you suggest?
Feb 11th 2020, 8:11 am
#4353
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 508
Re: Me and My Family
Third paragraph.....As previously stated again....I have already had clarity on the matter from two different attorneys. Yes, an attorney needs a court order to obtain her records but I don't require to do that. As it stands at the moment she is a bigamist and our marriage is void. It is up to HER to prove otherwise....not me. If she has taken out claims against me, she will appear in court to pursue her claims against me, But as a bigamist. Doubt if that will sit well with any judge. She should have cleared her name first before filing against me.
The FB thing....as previously stated, it is intel. Intel is important in any conflict so preparations can be made .
Regards
What is the relevance of the FB comms? It shows that she has a penfriend and potential boyfriend (victim?), but what is its legal value, beyond shedding some light on her character?
Last edited by MartynK; Feb 11th 2020 at 8:13 am.
Feb 11th 2020, 9:06 am
#4354
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Re: Me and My Family
Do you understand how the legal process works? If your 'wife' brings a civil case against you, based on desertion/abandonment, lack of support or whatever, she will have to show that you are married to her. You went though a marriage with her, which is on record. She does not have to prove that she didn't commit bigamy, the onus is on you to prove that she did. Do you have the evidence? Can you satisfy a court that her signature on the previous marriage certificate, which she claims was a forgery, is genuine? Were there witnesses to her previous marriage? Will they testify that it took place and that the necessary procedures were followed?
What is the relevance of the FB comms? It shows that she has a penfriend and potential boyfriend (victim?), but what is its legal value, beyond shedding some light on her character?
What is the relevance of the FB comms? It shows that she has a penfriend and potential boyfriend (victim?), but what is its legal value, beyond shedding some light on her character?
Again read what I have stated about the relavence of the rumoured visit
Feb 12th 2020, 2:35 am
#4355
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Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
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Re: Me and My Family
Greetings!
As previously mentioned, I thought I would tell you about how I have been living for the past few months. This is just a one-off article and wont be updated but hope it will give you an insight on life living with a real Filipina family.
The house is rented by a sister of a foreigners gf who lives nearby and I am living with the mother, sister and her two kids, brother and a scruffy Maltese type terrier. The house is small with two bedrooms only and a living area (dossing area mainly). The bathroom if I can call it that is very small and consists of a WC and shower. No hot water for the shower. Indeed water pressure ranges from that of a wasps spit to that of a leaky tap. Toilet has no seat...or bum squirter. And has no flush. Like the others I sleep on a mattress on the floor in a small bedroom.
About the people here.... The mother is a very lovely lady and has about 7 kids who come and go. For some reason on my arrival she told all and sundry that I was her bf. I have to admit she is nice but more of a mother figure to me. Just not my type. She is 52. She is a relative of my current gf/lf/fling which made things pretty awkward initially. To complicate matters her daughter keeps asking me for a date and should I say very attentive which is awkward sometimes. The daughter is/was married to a Korean and when I first arrived here was working in Manila but quit that job there and came back here, She is currently looking for another job but making pin money making small mats and selling at 35 peso a time. The brother is a strange fellow. My foreigner friend will not have him in his house and he dosses around here and cannot hold a job, On a sinister side, he was kicked out of my friends house and he left here for a week or so. When I went to have a shower that afternoon, I found a metal wire protruding from my soap. The dog is mangy..flea bitten and feeds on scraps. If he is left indoors all night he deposits on the floor somewhere and its funny seeing people doing a moon dance better than Michael Jackson if they step in it.
There was another sister living here with her squalling ankle snapper. I don't know the reason but she was kicked out by the sister and returned about a week earlier one evening and tried to assault her sister. She was like a woman possessed . It took me, mother and son to restrain her and get her to leave. No idea what that was about....life is a mystery sometimes. She sent me a message next morning in Tagalog basically saying that I had assaulted her and was reporting me to the police. Never heard anymore.
There are comings and goings here. Mainly relatives or friends who doss down for the night....mainly in a drunken stupor. Some are suitors for the sister here who in fact is quite attractive. The arrivals normally bring booze and they all get drunk. I am always invited to join but rarely do. Normally I would have just come back from town having sunk 3 or 4 beers which is my limit. My gf/lf/fling also sometimes visits. My foreigner friend recently kicked out his gf ....or she left him again. And also 2 lady boys who live there. They dossed down here for a few nights doing sweet FA or helping in the house. The only thing they did was scrounge off the mother here and get rat-arsed in the evening. But I think they are gone now.
The house is normally a mess. Dishes with uneaten food pile up in the sink for days...food left on the table and floor. Clothes in various states of wash piled everywhere. I have only seen a rat twice. Think the dog takes care of them. However they do have a blitz every few days and the house is left spotless. One one wc. This is a pain. Especially when the kids are getting ready for school. I have quickly learnt not to get "the runs" and constantly take Imodium when there is any hint of it. We have a washing machine. Problem is its always full for days doing nothing...just soaking clothes I think.
Now saying all that.....the family here are great to me. I refuse to let them do my washing or rarely eat with them. Fish heads in a bucket of rice does not appeal. I have cereal in the morning...sarnies at lunch time then I hit town for something to eat late afternoon. Making my coffee first thing when I wake up can be interesting stepping over bodies that have been dossing for the night. The mother however insists on manicuring my nails and her and her sister want to massage my back. I don't let them. Don't think my gf/lf/fling would approve.
When I first saw this place I thought that I wouldn't last a night here but I agreed to stay a week. But I am used to it all now...even the cold showers. The cold shower has a bit of respite for about 15 seconds when the water inside the pipe outside has been heated and comes through. Oh joy.
I am currently paying 4.5k pm to the sister for the privilege of living here. It was her bedroom that I am living in now. Which is way too much really. I know that the sister is paying 4k pm rent. I would move to another place if I could find a suitable part furnished in town but unable to do so at the moment....none available. But that's not quite true. When I first arrived here and told the crew in my regular ale house that I was looking for somewhere more suitable, I had two prospective land lords appear in a matter of weeks. But then they never returned. I was told candidly by one of the owners of the bar that its because I had put them in a difficult situation. They were also friends/relatives of the family here and if they had found me a place then the family here would feel aggrieved that they had their rent money taken away by them. I was shocked at this at first but I could understand the logic and in being in no rush to move I accepted it. As I have mentioned previously, I might have to decamp back to where I came if litigation appears so I am not going to buy furnishings yet for an unfurnished place. Also, if I had the option to move I most probably would but then would have to think very carefully. My gf/lf/fling would try and move some of her kids in also...by stealth. Also she is about to become a grandmother again in a couple of weeks. As I said previously....she has baggage. I don't want any baggage in my house.
Anyway...that's life here with My Family, There will be no updates etc but this was just to give an insight on living in the Philippines ...el naturale
Regards
As previously mentioned, I thought I would tell you about how I have been living for the past few months. This is just a one-off article and wont be updated but hope it will give you an insight on life living with a real Filipina family.
The house is rented by a sister of a foreigners gf who lives nearby and I am living with the mother, sister and her two kids, brother and a scruffy Maltese type terrier. The house is small with two bedrooms only and a living area (dossing area mainly). The bathroom if I can call it that is very small and consists of a WC and shower. No hot water for the shower. Indeed water pressure ranges from that of a wasps spit to that of a leaky tap. Toilet has no seat...or bum squirter. And has no flush. Like the others I sleep on a mattress on the floor in a small bedroom.
About the people here.... The mother is a very lovely lady and has about 7 kids who come and go. For some reason on my arrival she told all and sundry that I was her bf. I have to admit she is nice but more of a mother figure to me. Just not my type. She is 52. She is a relative of my current gf/lf/fling which made things pretty awkward initially. To complicate matters her daughter keeps asking me for a date and should I say very attentive which is awkward sometimes. The daughter is/was married to a Korean and when I first arrived here was working in Manila but quit that job there and came back here, She is currently looking for another job but making pin money making small mats and selling at 35 peso a time. The brother is a strange fellow. My foreigner friend will not have him in his house and he dosses around here and cannot hold a job, On a sinister side, he was kicked out of my friends house and he left here for a week or so. When I went to have a shower that afternoon, I found a metal wire protruding from my soap. The dog is mangy..flea bitten and feeds on scraps. If he is left indoors all night he deposits on the floor somewhere and its funny seeing people doing a moon dance better than Michael Jackson if they step in it.
There was another sister living here with her squalling ankle snapper. I don't know the reason but she was kicked out by the sister and returned about a week earlier one evening and tried to assault her sister. She was like a woman possessed . It took me, mother and son to restrain her and get her to leave. No idea what that was about....life is a mystery sometimes. She sent me a message next morning in Tagalog basically saying that I had assaulted her and was reporting me to the police. Never heard anymore.
There are comings and goings here. Mainly relatives or friends who doss down for the night....mainly in a drunken stupor. Some are suitors for the sister here who in fact is quite attractive. The arrivals normally bring booze and they all get drunk. I am always invited to join but rarely do. Normally I would have just come back from town having sunk 3 or 4 beers which is my limit. My gf/lf/fling also sometimes visits. My foreigner friend recently kicked out his gf ....or she left him again. And also 2 lady boys who live there. They dossed down here for a few nights doing sweet FA or helping in the house. The only thing they did was scrounge off the mother here and get rat-arsed in the evening. But I think they are gone now.
The house is normally a mess. Dishes with uneaten food pile up in the sink for days...food left on the table and floor. Clothes in various states of wash piled everywhere. I have only seen a rat twice. Think the dog takes care of them. However they do have a blitz every few days and the house is left spotless. One one wc. This is a pain. Especially when the kids are getting ready for school. I have quickly learnt not to get "the runs" and constantly take Imodium when there is any hint of it. We have a washing machine. Problem is its always full for days doing nothing...just soaking clothes I think.
Now saying all that.....the family here are great to me. I refuse to let them do my washing or rarely eat with them. Fish heads in a bucket of rice does not appeal. I have cereal in the morning...sarnies at lunch time then I hit town for something to eat late afternoon. Making my coffee first thing when I wake up can be interesting stepping over bodies that have been dossing for the night. The mother however insists on manicuring my nails and her and her sister want to massage my back. I don't let them. Don't think my gf/lf/fling would approve.
When I first saw this place I thought that I wouldn't last a night here but I agreed to stay a week. But I am used to it all now...even the cold showers. The cold shower has a bit of respite for about 15 seconds when the water inside the pipe outside has been heated and comes through. Oh joy.
I am currently paying 4.5k pm to the sister for the privilege of living here. It was her bedroom that I am living in now. Which is way too much really. I know that the sister is paying 4k pm rent. I would move to another place if I could find a suitable part furnished in town but unable to do so at the moment....none available. But that's not quite true. When I first arrived here and told the crew in my regular ale house that I was looking for somewhere more suitable, I had two prospective land lords appear in a matter of weeks. But then they never returned. I was told candidly by one of the owners of the bar that its because I had put them in a difficult situation. They were also friends/relatives of the family here and if they had found me a place then the family here would feel aggrieved that they had their rent money taken away by them. I was shocked at this at first but I could understand the logic and in being in no rush to move I accepted it. As I have mentioned previously, I might have to decamp back to where I came if litigation appears so I am not going to buy furnishings yet for an unfurnished place. Also, if I had the option to move I most probably would but then would have to think very carefully. My gf/lf/fling would try and move some of her kids in also...by stealth. Also she is about to become a grandmother again in a couple of weeks. As I said previously....she has baggage. I don't want any baggage in my house.
Anyway...that's life here with My Family, There will be no updates etc but this was just to give an insight on living in the Philippines ...el naturale
Regards
Feb 12th 2020, 3:38 am
#4358
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 704
Re: Me and My Family
***************
Seriously P11, you're living in a crowded 3rd-world flop house with poor sanitation.
"Dishes with uneaten food pile up in the sink for days...food left on the table and floor. Clothes in various states of wash piled everywhere. I have only seen a rat twice. Think the dog takes care of them. However they do have a blitz every few days and the house is left spotless. One one wc. This is a pain. Especially when the kids are getting ready for school. I have quickly learnt not to get "the runs" and constantly take Imodium when there is any hint of it. We have a washing machine. Problem is its always full for days doing nothing...just soaking clothes I think."
Your description, not mine. That's low-end even in Filipino terms--it's reminiscent of the lifestyle of a drug addict.
Even a basic UK pension affords you much better, which makes me think that you're still bleeding cash in some as yet unadmitted fashion towards your former LL, or her family, or the new GF, or her family...
What would your sons think of your choices here?
Last edited by abner; Feb 12th 2020 at 3:47 am.
Feb 12th 2020, 4:10 am
#4359
Forum Regular
Joined: Dec 2019
Posts: 34
Re: Me and My Family
I'll just say it must be one hell of an experience and I suppose you can treat as an adventure and something to have done in your life. Probably not everyone's cup of tea but certainly an eye opener. Thanks for the insight and good luck with it all.
Feb 12th 2020, 4:23 am
#4360
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
More like "circling the bowl"...
***************
Seriously P11, you're living in a crowded 3rd-world flop house with poor sanitation.
"Dishes with uneaten food pile up in the sink for days...food left on the table and floor. Clothes in various states of wash piled everywhere. I have only seen a rat twice. Think the dog takes care of them. However they do have a blitz every few days and the house is left spotless. One one wc. This is a pain. Especially when the kids are getting ready for school. I have quickly learnt not to get "the runs" and constantly take Imodium when there is any hint of it. We have a washing machine. Problem is its always full for days doing nothing...just soaking clothes I think."
Your description, not mine. That's low-end even in Filipino terms--it's reminiscent of the lifestyle of a drug addict.
Even a basic UK pension affords you much better, which makes me think that you're still bleeding cash in some as yet unadmitted fashion towards your former LL, or her family, or the new GF, or her family...
What would your sons think of your choices here?
***************
Seriously P11, you're living in a crowded 3rd-world flop house with poor sanitation.
"Dishes with uneaten food pile up in the sink for days...food left on the table and floor. Clothes in various states of wash piled everywhere. I have only seen a rat twice. Think the dog takes care of them. However they do have a blitz every few days and the house is left spotless. One one wc. This is a pain. Especially when the kids are getting ready for school. I have quickly learnt not to get "the runs" and constantly take Imodium when there is any hint of it. We have a washing machine. Problem is its always full for days doing nothing...just soaking clothes I think."
Your description, not mine. That's low-end even in Filipino terms--it's reminiscent of the lifestyle of a drug addict.
Even a basic UK pension affords you much better, which makes me think that you're still bleeding cash in some as yet unadmitted fashion towards your former LL, or her family, or the new GF, or her family...
What would your sons think of your choices here?
My sons are aware and seen the pics and they know its a temporary measure only.
As far as your idea that I am somehow bleeding cash to someone is both wrong and mischief making. Certainly I am carrying heavy debts... But now at last I can begin replenishing my finances
Feb 12th 2020, 4:33 am
#4361
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
Moving on. Got my BRITISH passport back yesterday with no problems. Shame its not blue
Regards
Feb 12th 2020, 5:25 am
#4363
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: Buraydah , Saudi Arabia
Posts: 2,863
Re: Me and My Family
You forgot that being ex military and being on exercises plus a stint in NI during the troubles, this is nothing compared to those days. If I didn't like it here I would soon move. Certainly I can and will afford better... This is just temporary for the time being.
My sons are aware and seen the pics and they know its a temporary measure only.
As far as your idea that I am somehow bleeding cash to someone is both wrong and mischief making. Certainly I am carrying heavy debts... But now at last I can begin replenishing my finances
My sons are aware and seen the pics and they know its a temporary measure only.
As far as your idea that I am somehow bleeding cash to someone is both wrong and mischief making. Certainly I am carrying heavy debts... But now at last I can begin replenishing my finances
Feb 12th 2020, 5:25 am
#4364
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 704
Re: Me and My Family
You'll just have to forgive me that I harboured suspicions your established practice might be continuing...
To whom, now...?
