WiredTight

P11...
I'm willing to bet if you were to go to another Expat forum specifically about another 3rd World country, you'll find stories or examples of people having the same problems as you. Perhaps different "Flavors" but basically the same "Recipe". Expats in (insert country name) tell the same stories about the girlfriend/wife/family as your example in the RP. In my opinion when you make your Arm Chair comments...you are only showing your own arrogance or ignorance (their is a difference between ignorance and stupidity).
As for "moving on"... If you walk back your move to cut her off: then she will only see this as weakness.

mikek1

The L/L is dishonest, manipulative. etc, but clever. P11 will not escape without some sort of payment.

Philosophical 11

You are suggesting that if it is prescribed by law that I should pay her an allowance... I should not pay because it shows weakness? How will that help me if it came to litigation?

Philosophical 11

Greetings....

Further updates..

Further to now seeing her signature on what appears to be the bottom portion of her marriage certificate., there now seems doubt that her father did not sanction me stopping payments to her. This follows claims from her that none of her family, or indeed the father sent me the message to stop the payments. Her eldest sister contacted me yesterday asking if I had used her name to pass his message onto me. I told her she would remain anonymous. I have kept a record of her messages. I have a feeling she used her fathers name to stop sending her an allowance. I hope I am wrong.

The LBC scam of 15k. She told me that it will be paid by the end of January. I have been waiting since end of August. Of course I cast doubt that it would be paid and told her she must pawn the jewelry to help me pay for her move. Today she sent me 3.5k for the proceeds of the pawn. Looking at the transaction it was for one item...an ankle bracelet. Originally I was told it was a necklace. However, I remember feeling at least two items in the package. The transaction showed 1.9g of 18k gold at 3,5k which would be correct as scrap value. But the commercial value of the ankle bracelet was 15k. She maintains the design added to the cost which I doubt. She also asserts there was only one item. I believe she lies....

She has no job now. Originally I was told she would be contacted in sometime in January to start the job, She now states she was asked to start the job at the beginning of January but could not start because I forced her to move house and asked for time off to search for another house. She lost her job. Again...more lies. Furthermore she does not intend to look for a job until she has finished the cases against me. On that subject, her attorney has advised going for me first and then proceed against those who falsified her marriage

Regards

WiredTight

P11...
The answer is YES.
It seems we have a disagreement on the status of the Philippine Justice System. During my time in the RP (I'm only a part time Arm chair warrior)... I have never heard of a foreigner that has won against a citizen of the RP....Especially when the foreigner is a Tourist. You make be able to prolong the LL from filing legal paper work against you, or string it along ($$$) but...All someone has to do is call immirgation and make a complaint (no matter if it true or not) and a small "donation" to a poorly paid BI employee (one who dislikes RICH foreigners) who will slap a some type of blinking light against your name the next time you try to Extend your tourist visa. A tourist is a visitor, who has very little rights. And this is coming from a someone who legally spent 4.5 years as a tourist.

Philosophical 11

Yes.. I agree with the point of the foreigners having little or no chance against a local with an axe to grind. This is why to stand a chance I need to be water tight against anything she throws at me. So far I am according to various attorneys. I do not intend to throw that away now. BI have already been informed according to her.

Regards

Millhouse

Why do you keep getting involved in their family politics?

the sister said the father should stop payments etc. What a mess

Philosophical 11

You forgot one important point. It is not their family... It is my family also

morpeth

You have now taken to using the phrase armchair critics now that you feel better, or maybe the comments being made deep down you now are realizing after years have some merit but pride doesn't allow you to admit. I don't know , but I don't think anyone has made comments in anything except a desire you be helpful.

As far as recommendations I and others have made they are all posted and you know them. Giving your patterns it is not unreasonable to have concern you will keep on this path you have shown for several years.

I certainly have experience with the Philippines dating back a lot longer than you have been there, as well as southeast Asia, as have others who have posted. In fact recently I had a dinner in which several long time Filipino friends were present- including two lawyers- and relayed your story as you have presented it, one of them first question was how does this man's family not do something ? The other said obviously this fellow doesn't understand much about the Philippines, it's culture or laws. Whether right or not that is the impression you give.

No offense meant that perhaps you need a guardian of sorts, just an opinion, and certainly comments you may have taken as snide do not mean necessarily they are.

I can understand the relief you feel having somewhat escaped the situation, and I guess a positive in one way you now criticize others as an indication you are getting some backbone back. I meant no offense nor did anyone else.

And yes I do get the impression you are somewhat dependent on the drama.

morpeth

If you are not married yo her how are they your family ?

nonthaburi

Seems like you're still clinging to the belief that everyone outside the PPPs knows nothing. And you know best as the local "expert". We've all seen how well your knowledge of the local culture served you.

No one said that the laws and culture of the PPPs are the same as in other countries, but there are many similarities. People are people wherever you go and human behavior doesn't change that much.

If there's one thing travel has taught me it's that wherever you go people pretty much want the same things out of life; financial security, a roof over their heads, and a good family life. The poorer the country the harder this is to obtain.

Even when my wife lived in Saudi Arabia she could see similarities between the Saudis and herself, as fellow Asian people, in how they did things and their culture.

In your position, I would not be so arrogant to disregard the words of those who for the past 5 years, or whatever it is now, have consistently been giving you good advice about your situation, which you have consistently ignored.

Re your last point about family, I would suggest that family culture between PPPs and Thailand are very very similar. I think most of the old clichés apply to both. I could go into a lot of detail here.....

I struggle sometimes, wondering whether you're being deliberately obtuse with some of the things you come out with sometimes, or just plain stubborn.

I used to be sympathetic to your cause, but now I just kind of think whatever. I'm past caring Some people just don't listen!

Your refusal to accept the opinion of others who are not in the PPPs says it all really.

To go back to Thailand which you reference, there is a saying amongst expats that many men leave their brains at the arrivals hall in the airport, and I do believe that IS applicable to the Philippines too. 🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭😂😂😂
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morpeth

I have seen this tendency before in some Expats, and locals sometimes seem to sense how they can play it. Maybe they think it is buying friendship, or 'fitting in'.

nonthaburi

Think one of the big problems was that his wife and him were never on the same page about the family. It will never work if the woman consistently puts other people before her own marriage. Are you working together as a team , or working against each other as individuals with your own agendas.

MartynK

Do you, really? I doubt your analogy. Front line troops know what is going on in their immediate vicinity but often have little idea of the bigger picture. Generals and other senior officers are trained to take the bigger picture/strategy into consideration and act accordingly.

You are a foreigner who has lived in the Philippines for a short period, you do not speak the local language, and your posts suggest that you have only a limited understanding of a very different culture. Be careful. Tell your 'wife' you require a notarized (or the local equivalent) copy of her original marriage certificate or, better still, get your attorney to ask for it or sight of the original document. Do not act on unvalidated 'instructions' from her father relayed through her sister. Does he even has the authority to give you such 'instructions' or was this merely a request or a suggestion? Do not communicate with your 'wife' directly, use your attorney. There are legal implications here.

nonthaburi

And let's put the armchair critic thing to bed. To use a football analogy, when I'm watching a game on TV, I might not know how the pitch feels, what the weather's like , the crunch of a the tackle, the feeling of joy and despair of playing the game.....

​​​​​​..... But we can ALL recognise a bad pass, a great goal, and an own goal!