Me and My Family

Old Jan 29th 2020, 10:23 am
  #4051  
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Hi P11,
Just caught up a years worth and Halleluia, you have put some distance between you. Mate don't contact her anymore look for someone else or go it alone. She is a piece of work that needs to be avoided. You are no longer young and do not have time to waste pissing around with a trouble maker. The marriage is bullshit, my second wife was still married in PI when I married her and still is married in PI. She gave me a story about the no impediment or whatever it is called and I told Immigration I would send it when I got it and they never followed up.

My third wife is still just the bees knees, looks after my 87 year old mum like a sister and works from dawn to dusk growing palms and succulents, never made so much money and have not worked since I got diagnosed she does it all. Have bought out 2 sisters and their husbands and two brothers who all work for my old boss. He loves them, never cause me or him a moments trouble. The brother in laws only downfall is they keep sending money back to PI instead of saving for a house, dumb arses and the parents are arseholes in my opinion for wanting them to extend their houses when there is only two of them left at home. Ah well thats the PI way drag the new generation backwards instead of helping them getting ahead.

Going to look for an old post I started about a bitch that has spent the last 10 years sucking every cent out of a guy and finishing the story.
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Old Jan 29th 2020, 11:11 am
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Hi P11, will just hi jack your thread for a sec as my old post has been closed, no action for a couple of years.

Anyway the couple have lived in the South Island since leaving Auckland, she working ,he not. A couple of months ago she convinced the moron that he was spending too much money and that he should send it across to an account in the Philippines. Jesus wept he did it. She sent him to PI and was going to text him the dear John. Not sure where he is now but she is in PI has changed her name on facebook etc back to her maiden name and proclaimed her love for the guy she broke up with 19 years ago and crys out for all to hear that her love for him is the most important thing in her life. So that is how to lose $470000 NZ dollars in about three years although it has taken 10 years of married life before she was able to deliver the coup de gras. Just for your interest her eldest sister worked overseas for about 14 years and when she returned to PI hooked up with the love of her life. Bought him a house, car all the bits and pieces, when he had every cent packed her bags and kicked her out. I tell my wife the same will happen to her and we will wait and see. I see a lot of generalisations about people and am regularly guilty of the same. Philippine women and men are the same as women and men all over the world, there are brilliant ones, average ones, loving ones and shits that will spend 10 years sucking you dry and not in the pleasant way. The trick is to not make the huge mistake of thinking they are naive or stupid . The Spanish and Americans have been in PI for hundreds of years and anywhere the Spanish went corruption is rife and many Americans with Trump being the God of utter nonsense have proven their place as the biggest bullshitters in the world without even a trace of embarrassment to go with it. Have a great week. Regards Mike
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Old Jan 29th 2020, 3:42 pm
  #4053  
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Originally Posted by Philosophical 11
Greetings!
I have also struck up a relationship with a woman who is fun to be with.
She is the life and soul of any gathering and is also a very hard worker. She works in a restobar with my favourite crew, and starts work at 4.00 making 50 takeout breakfasts to sell in the market. She is on duty until the last customer leaves which could be as late as 2.00 am.
She sleeps in the restobar and has one day off a week when she goes away to see her kids. All for 200 peso per day. I admire her for her tenacity and hard work and has asked for money just once. She knows she cannot ask again. Ok, I do buy her a couple of beers and a packet of fags when I visit each evening and that's it. The relationship cannot be lasting because she has too much baggage (7 kids I believe) and her English is not the best. But she is a source of comfort at the moment.
Turning back to unfinished business....A question if I may - what kind of relationship is this?

From what I read (Your words unabridged and with relevant sections highlighted), she can be working up to 20 hours per day, 6 days per week and not sticking around for the 7th day - which would leave no time for a genuine romantic relationship, let alone a physical one. She barely speaks English, so she is not fulfilling your conversational or intellectual requirements necessary for an adult relationship. Is it not that she is simply a barmaid who is doing her job and having some (limited) banter with you, and you have mistaken it for more?

Do you really feel so incomplete without a woman, any woman, (even one you can barely communicate with) on your arm? Because as I teach my own children, if you can't be self-sufficient emotionally as well as practically, you will ever remain vulnerable to whose who can smell weakness.

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Old Jan 29th 2020, 5:31 pm
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10 hours a day she works at the most,doesn't she,RWT?

That bit seems obvious to me.Maybe he should have used 16:00 instead of 4.00,but either way the usage of "am" for the second time reference indicates that the starting time is indeed 4pm.
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Old Jan 29th 2020, 8:28 pm
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Originally Posted by jaygee68
10 hours a day she works at the most,doesn't she,RWT?

That bit seems obvious to me.Maybe he should have used 16:00 instead of 4.00,but either way the usage of "am" for the second time reference indicates that the starting time is indeed 4pm.
You could be right,jaygee, but when he said ''starts work at 4.00 making 50 takeout breakfasts to sell'', I just assumed it was 4.00am. 4.00pm is late for breakfast even by my teenagers bodyclock
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Old Jan 29th 2020, 9:47 pm
  #4056  
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Originally Posted by Philosophical 11
Yes she is....to foreigners maybe. She has already stated she is looking for another foreigner. But to a pinoy...no. Too old and has kids. I have mentioned before that it is not unusual for a Filipina to shower gifts on a bf to keep his attention. We already have one here which I mentioned before. Her best friend in fact. Maybe she was doing the same....using my money.

Regards
I believe your contribution was the sexy nighty and new undies.
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Old Jan 29th 2020, 11:31 pm
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Originally Posted by Mallory
I believe your contribution was the sexy nighty and new undies.
Where did you get that idea from? I bought her nothing. You are being mischievous.
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Old Jan 29th 2020, 11:39 pm
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Originally Posted by Red_Wine_Fairy
Turning back to unfinished business....A question if I may - what kind of relationship is this?

From what I read (Your words unabridged and with relevant sections highlighted), she can be working up to 20 hours per day, 6 days per week and not sticking around for the 7th day - which would leave no time for a genuine romantic relationship, let alone a physical one. She barely speaks English, so she is not fulfilling your conversational or intellectual requirements necessary for an adult relationship. Is it not that she is simply a barmaid who is doing her job and having some (limited) banter with you, and you have mistaken it for more?

Do you really feel so incomplete without a woman, any woman, (even one you can barely communicate with) on your arm? Because as I teach my own children, if you can't be self-sufficient emotionally as well as practically, you will ever remain vulnerable to whose who can smell weakness.

Who said it would be a genuine romantic relationship? I told you what the relationship was about and its limitations. You are making a mountain out of a molehill. To reiterate, she is fun to be with and makes me happy. No more than that.
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Old Jan 30th 2020, 7:55 am
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Something about needles if i remember rightly,P11 .......for the record i reckon that not a single person on here dislikes you.Infuriated by you.....YES.....Do you get the odd sarcastic remark??......YES......but i honestly think that nobody here dislikes you.The biggest compliment that can be said is right throughout the several years of this story you have retained your sense of humour.You have a nice way of writing,almost pulp fiction style,and it's because of that,sometimes i wonder if you are having us all on!!....

Last edited by jaygee68; Jan 30th 2020 at 8:23 am.
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Old Jan 30th 2020, 9:13 am
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Originally Posted by jaygee68
Something about needles if i remember rightly,P11 .......for the record i reckon that not a single person on here dislikes you.Infuriated by you.....YES.....Do you get the odd sarcastic remark??......YES......but i honestly think that nobody here dislikes you.The biggest compliment that can be said is right throughout the several years of this story you have retained your sense of humour.You have a nice way of writing,almost pulp fiction style,and it's because of that,sometimes i wonder if you are having us all on!!....
Thanks. Yes I think you are right in your comments. Also I can be intransigent and stubborn. We all have failings. As far as humour is concerned... I think its a necessary quality to live in the Philippines. No idea what pulp fiction style is.

Moving on...

C.. I stand suitably chastised for my erroneous post. Apologies!

Regards
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Old Jan 30th 2020, 9:49 am
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Originally Posted by Philosophical 11
If defending my point of view in your eyes sees that as attacking their point of view......then so be it. Yes, I do welcome constructive points of view but it gets very tedious when I have to keep explaining my way of doing things. I am cautious by nature and I have to be here because it is my head on the chopping block. I also find tiresome the snide remarks from some thinking I will be back with her again soon. The comments that I am a senile, stupid old man and needs to be saved by a member of the family is ....well the less said about that the better. Also, the comments that my whole tenure here has been one of misery particularly irks when I am constantly explaining otherwise. I could go on....but you get my drift.

Anyway....I feel that I am in a stronger position now because of how I have managed the situation here. But I don't think she will give up easily and can expect more problems from her but hopefully the thought of a bigamy case against her will stop her in her tracks.

Moving on....

Today is the day that she expects her 2k weekly allowance. I expect more salvos again today when she doesn't get it. It will be then that I will tell her that I have done it at the behest of her father (that wont look good at any hearing) . Also, because of my age I cannot be jailed. I hope that will silence her for good.

Regards...and thanks.
Have you ever stopped to consider that with the overwhelming generally consensus of advice given over a long period of time perhaps does indicate perhaps your way of handling situation had some issues ? And that some suggestions which you resent were meant to be helpful ? Why would you post in a public forum if you didn't expect comments ?

Sometimes people are so close to a situation to be objective, or have issues in getting out of difficult situation, or from age may struggle handling issues from fear or dependency issues - but as I read it no one is snide just giving opinions based on what you have written for a long time.

It is nice situation has improved, and hopefully in any new relationship you don't end up in the same situation again.
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Old Jan 30th 2020, 12:03 pm
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Originally Posted by morpeth
Have you ever stopped to consider that with the overwhelming generally consensus of advice given over a long period of time perhaps does indicate perhaps your way of handling situation had some issues ? And that some suggestions which you resent were meant to be helpful ? Why would you post in a public forum if you didn't expect comments ?

Sometimes people are so close to a situation to be objective, or have issues in getting out of difficult situation, or from age may struggle handling issues from fear or dependency issues - but as I read it no one is snide just giving opinions based on what you have written for a long time.

It is nice situation has improved, and hopefully in any new relationship you don't end up in the same situation again.
Taking your points in order.....

I am now exactly in the position I wish to be. I have fulfilled what I see as my moral obligations and if I had followed some knee jerk reactions from some armchair critics who do not actually live here in the Philippines then that would not be the case. I know exactly what she is planning by keeping an open dialogue and I have not fled back to another country as some has suggested. Perhaps you can tell me what you would have done differently.

Posting in a public forum will generate comments. Have I suggested otherwise?

Being close to the situation....Yes. I am the man on the ground. I know exactly what is happening here. Taking a military scenario, the man on the ground knows and feels exactly what is going on. However the Generals in a nice HQ somewhere may not be fully appreciative of the situation. Because they are not there.

I suspect you do not know the meaning of snide comments in the way you have put it.

****** or have issues in getting out of difficult situation, or from age may struggle handling issues from fear or dependency issues******* I have got myself out of a difficult position in what I consider the best and safest way possible. I am now happy with my position. Fear....yes. Fear of what could happen if this was not handled in the correct way, This Is the Philippines. I do not what to become a statistic. Dependency? Dependency on what?

Regards




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Old Jan 30th 2020, 12:22 pm
  #4063  
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I am irked that you should call us ‘armchair critics’, when you are purposely posting details of your life on a public forum. What do you expect?
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Old Jan 30th 2020, 12:32 pm
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Originally Posted by Jerseygirl
I am irked that you should call us ‘armchair critics’, when you are purposely posting details of your life on a public forum. What do you expect?
Pisses me off too, so bloody rude and sanctimonious.

I think we're expected to just be an adoring audience and not be appalled and speak up at some of the things we read have been done and said to P11. Or maybe our comments are expected, and P11 just likes the attention (and the chance to insult people). Who knows, and now for me I'm afraid it's a case of who cares.
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Old Jan 30th 2020, 12:34 pm
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A definition -

Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.Nov 18, 2017
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