Me and My Family

Old Jan 22nd 2020, 1:28 pm
  #3901  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11
Of course not. She knows not to ask again. I thought that was obvious. Only 500 peso BTW. And she is not my new LL. I thought I made that clear also.

Regards
Everything is relative here. I understand that it was only P500 and for us a relatively small amount, but in her terms it is a lot, that is 2.5 times her daily wage, that would have been like someone giving me just over $5,000 when I was working, not to be sniffed at.
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Old Jan 22nd 2020, 1:30 pm
  #3902  
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Default Re: OK, what shall we call her?

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl
forgive me for being negative...but I can’t help but think...she’s a hard worker until she latches on to Johnny (Sugar Daddy) Foreigner.
Not at all. I was being facetious with the 'very good catch' line; having said that, I do think we need to continue to inject humour into this saga. BTW, much of what you said is correct.
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Old Jan 22nd 2020, 1:39 pm
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by christmasoompa
It is very odd, as a Brit who'd never dream of asking anybody for money, to see the cultural differences. I wonder if these women would ask a fellow Filipino, or if they do only ask foreigners? Just such a weird idea to me, to meet somebody and a few weeks later ask them for cash!
They do ask and borrow money from each other as well. Years ago I managed to resolve debts of about P10,000 amongst a bunch of the wife's relatives. In the end all debts were paid in full with only about P250 actually changing hands as they all owed each other money but were not able to work out that most of the loans went in a circle and actually cancelled each other out.
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Old Jan 22nd 2020, 1:48 pm
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Default Re: OK, what shall we call her?

Originally Posted by Feidlimid
I do think we need to continue to inject humour into this saga. BTW, much of what you said is correct.
In that vain, sounds like the new boy is trying to curry favour with a Super Mod.

Sorry could not resist.
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Old Jan 22nd 2020, 1:51 pm
  #3905  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11
It seems I am beating my head against a brick wall with some people. I have full control and have explained patiently why I am still funding her on more than one occasion. She is dancing to my tune and is completely compliant with my wishes. However, I suspect the venomous messages will appear again when I issue the ultimatum later this month. However, I have new ammunition to spike her guns.

As far as your second comment is concerned.....are you suggesting to me that I am lying?
Maybe to be open-minded instead of being 'bemused' or 'banging your head against the wall' consider that the comments posted are well-meaning, and maybe like the addict who can't admit he has a problem you are so far in over your head with this woman and local culture, that you are not able to make rational decisions. " Dancing to my tune...spike her guns" maybe just give up this ongoing drama and re-start your life- you have portrayed this woman as crazy, why on earth do you want to be part of her world any longer ? Is it because you are simply afraid deep down? It will just get worse as you get older, hence why I suggested you ask a family member to take charge and make decisions for you.This woman knows you and how to make a gullible foreigner keep funding her- cut off this situation before it gets worse, which it can.
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Old Jan 22nd 2020, 2:14 pm
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by morpeth
Maybe to be open-minded instead of being 'bemused' or 'banging your head against the wall' consider that the comments posted are well-meaning, and maybe like the addict who can't admit he has a problem you are so far in over your head with this woman and local culture, that you are not able to make rational decisions. " Dancing to my tune...spike her guns" maybe just give up this ongoing drama and re-start your life- you have portrayed this woman as crazy, why on earth do you want to be part of her world any longer ? Is it because you are simply afraid deep down? It will just get worse as you get older, hence why I suggested you ask a family member to take charge and make decisions for you.This woman knows you and how to make a gullible foreigner keep funding her- cut off this situation before it gets worse, which it can.
The last thing anyone wants is to get other family members involved in running our day to day lives, be it ex-wives, siblings or children, as long as it is only our lifestyle that is effected and we are not running up huge debts to fund ex's. I am lucky in that my wife is only a spendaholic and will only spend what I give her. It seems like P11 has given his ex-LL limited financial support until end next month and that is up to him, I would not have done it but that is me.
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Old Jan 22nd 2020, 10:23 pm
  #3907  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11
It seems I am beating my head against a brick wall with some people.
Our comments are well meant. How about you try this - step back and review your situation, past and present - as if you were a total outsider. That way you can see what we are seeing. Its not easy where relationships are involved but looking at things objectively won't do you any harm
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Old Jan 22nd 2020, 11:53 pm
  #3908  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

If you look at the five years of your relationship, everything in your life with her seems to revolve around money. How much is she spending, how much is she stealing from your wallet, how much jewelry is she pawning or selling, how much is her father’s meds, how much is child support, how much is her sister’s college fees, how much does she owe in debts, on and on and on, it’s all about money. It seems you have missed the last five years of your retirement worrying about money, where it is coming from, who is spending it, or who is stealing it. It’s not normal to live like that - leave, go and enjoy yourself.
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Old Jan 23rd 2020, 12:59 am
  #3909  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Mallory
If you look at the five years of your relationship, everything in your life with her seems to revolve around money. How much is she spending, how much is she stealing from your wallet, how much jewelry is she pawning or selling, how much is her father’s meds, how much is child support, how much is her sister’s college fees, how much does she owe in debts, on and on and on, it’s all about money. It seems you have missed the last five years of your retirement worrying about money, where it is coming from, who is spending it, or who is stealing it. It’s not normal to live like that - leave, go and enjoy yourself.
Thanks.. It was in fact the last year or so when I was concerned about the money issue.. ie... Her debts. I have left and enjoying myself. I am also happy that she has now been put on the right road to continue her life.

Regards
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Old Jan 23rd 2020, 7:34 am
  #3910  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11
Thanks.. It was in fact the last year or so when I was concerned about the money issue.. ie... Her debts. I have left and enjoying myself. I am also happy that she has now been put on the right road to continue her life.

Regards
As long as you worry about her you haven't left her. You moved to a new location but brought her with you.
What makes you certain that "she has been put on the right road"? You still pay the bills because you don't want to let go as you said in a recent post.
It is all still about money = rental payments.
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Old Jan 23rd 2020, 7:53 am
  #3911  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Thairetired2016
As long as you worry about her you haven't left her. You moved to a new location but brought her with you.
What makes you certain that "she has been put on the right road"? You still pay the bills because you don't want to let go as you said in a recent post.
It is all still about money = rental payments.
​​​​​​​I am satisfied in my own mind that she has been put on the right road for future life. Explain to me what else could be done. I never said that I don't want to let go. Where did you get that piece of mischief from?
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Old Jan 23rd 2020, 7:54 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Thairetired2016
As long as you worry about her you haven't left her. You moved to a new location but brought her with you.
What makes you certain that "she has been put on the right road"? You still pay the bills because you don't want to let go as you said in a recent post.
It is all still about money = rental payments.
I am satisfied in my own mind that she has been put on the right road for future life. Explain to me what else could be done. I never said that I don't want to let go. Where did you get that piece of mischief from?

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Old Jan 23rd 2020, 8:04 am
  #3913  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

P11 Very well put. It seems that mischief is becoming a byword on this thread
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Old Jan 23rd 2020, 8:24 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

"If you look at the five years of your relationship, everything in your life with her seems to revolve around money. How much is she spending, how much is she stealing from your wallet, how much jewelry is she pawning or selling, how much is her father’s meds, how much is child support, how much is her sister’s college fees, how much does she owe in debts, on and on and on, it’s all about money. It seems you have missed the last five years of your retirement worrying about money, where it is coming from, who is spending it, or who is stealing it. It’s not normal to live like that - leave, go and enjoy yourself."

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You have given me a great idea for a board game,Mallory.Let's call it "SURVIVAL".....a game that all the family can play.The winner is the one who whose marriage/money lasts the longest.Like monopoly you throw the dice and can land on "bad squares" and "good squares".Being the Philippines,the bad squares will outweigh the good squares by about four to one.Here are some of the bad things that can befall the less fortunate....

1.The Ox has fallen down the well and broken it's neck.Send 25.000 PHP for new ox to plough the rice fields.
2.Mother has TB ....Mother is dying (posting pictures of God and a glowing stairway to heaven on Facebook)...send 40,000 PHP for hospital treatment immediately.
3.Your wife/girlfriend falsely accuses you of rape and battery and has you thrown in jail (please pay 50,000 PHP to regain your liberty).
4.(non-existant) Auntie's house in Zamboanga has been devastated by a tornado.Please send 30,000 for building materials.
5.iPAD has been stolen ..please send 15,000 PHP for new iPAD.

I could go on and on and on.....

Other minor old favourites like "broken fone screen"...."papa's tricycle is broken" and "aeroplane fare needed to visit dying Aunt in CDO" will all be there for sure.

Now on to the "good squares"............mmmmmm.....let me think.I maybe some time.

Last edited by jaygee68; Jan 23rd 2020 at 8:29 am.
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Old Jan 23rd 2020, 8:28 am
  #3915  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11
I am satisfied in my own mind that she has been put on the right road for future life. Explain to me what else could be done. I never said that I don't want to let go. Where did you get that piece of mischief from?
Proof is in the pudding. People have made all sorts of reasonable recommendations- yet you can't let go of communicating with her or giving her money/
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