Me and My Family
Jan 20th 2020, 1:14 am
#3841
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,013
Re: Me and My Family
Greetings..
I normally wait a few days before replying to comments but in view of some of the early comments, I need to re-iterate my position...again.
First of all, my sons and close family know exactly what is going on here. I keep them fully updated on any change of events.
I have also made it clear that I am well aware that because our marriage appears void, I am not obligated to give her any money. But I will continue to do so for two reasons: It is because I want ensure that she is rehoused and has a job before I cut off all payments. She states she has a job this month which I and her elder sister doubt. This gesture of good will also be in my favour if she litigates against me. Irrespective of whether she has a job or not, I will shortly be issuing her an ultimatum to prove to me that her first marriage is void. I will require to see that the marriage certificate contains a forged signature. If she cannot do that, then there will be no more allowance.
My second reason is that she has caused doubt on the validity of her first marriage. I believe she is a bigamist which means our marriage is void. However, where doubt remains, I need to be cautious. But once I issue my ultimatum, all doubt will be removed.
It is very easy to be an armchair critic, but it is my safety and freedom that is at risk. I am told there are many hundreds of foreigners locked up because of trumped up charges. I don't intend to join those statistics.
Regards
I normally wait a few days before replying to comments but in view of some of the early comments, I need to re-iterate my position...again.
First of all, my sons and close family know exactly what is going on here. I keep them fully updated on any change of events.
I have also made it clear that I am well aware that because our marriage appears void, I am not obligated to give her any money. But I will continue to do so for two reasons: It is because I want ensure that she is rehoused and has a job before I cut off all payments. She states she has a job this month which I and her elder sister doubt. This gesture of good will also be in my favour if she litigates against me. Irrespective of whether she has a job or not, I will shortly be issuing her an ultimatum to prove to me that her first marriage is void. I will require to see that the marriage certificate contains a forged signature. If she cannot do that, then there will be no more allowance.
My second reason is that she has caused doubt on the validity of her first marriage. I believe she is a bigamist which means our marriage is void. However, where doubt remains, I need to be cautious. But once I issue my ultimatum, all doubt will be removed.
It is very easy to be an armchair critic, but it is my safety and freedom that is at risk. I am told there are many hundreds of foreigners locked up because of trumped up charges. I don't intend to join those statistics.
Regards
Jan 20th 2020, 1:34 am
#3842
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2014
Location: Marikina Philippines
Posts: 885
Re: Me and My Family
"You are just a foreigner. I doubt Phils is different to Thailand."
Yes no significant difference there.
P11 if you are many islands away from LL why worry? I doubt that she has the intention or the resources to chase you. All the concerns that you have are based on internet traffic. You are only receiving BS.
If ever you are in MM pm me
Yes no significant difference there.
P11 if you are many islands away from LL why worry? I doubt that she has the intention or the resources to chase you. All the concerns that you have are based on internet traffic. You are only receiving BS.
If ever you are in MM pm me
Jan 20th 2020, 2:40 am
#3843
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
B... Distance does not come into it. BI does. She states she has one of those free attorneys.
Thanks for your offer
Last edited by Philosophical 11; Jan 20th 2020 at 2:43 am.
Jan 20th 2020, 4:11 am
#3844
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 466
Re: Me and My Family
For what is worth my opinion is thus. If P11 takes his wife to court for bigamy and his wife takes him to court for whatever , the two cases will be held separately. His wife will surly be convicted of bigamy, and he will be convicted of her charges against him. The cases may overlap, but from my experience of litigation in the Philippines it will be a long drawn out procedure and very expensive. The judges only concern will be the case put before them.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
Jan 20th 2020, 5:09 am
#3845
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
For what is worth my opinion is thus. If P11 takes his wife to court for bigamy and his wife takes him to court for whatever , the two cases will be held separately. His wife will surly be convicted of bigamy, and he will be convicted of her charges against him. The cases may overlap, but from my experience of litigation in the Philippines it will be a long drawn out procedure and very expensive. The judges only concern will be the case put before them.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
Two wrongs do not make a right.
​​​​​​.... But from what I have been advised so far she has no case against me and I aim to keep it that way. Hopefully the bigamy case will be a big enough deterrent to stop her going that far.
See you this evening...
Jan 20th 2020, 5:13 am
#3846
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 466
Re: Me and My Family
if that is the case........why pay her rent or anything?
Jan 20th 2020, 7:41 am
#3848
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,013
Jan 20th 2020, 8:38 am
#3849
Joined: Feb 2010
Location: Buraydah , Saudi Arabia
Posts: 2,863
Re: Me and My Family
She had rice on the table before you were in her life and no doubt she will have rice on the table after you're out of it.
She can survive just fine without you. You only enhance her existence.
Is it really worth it.
She can survive just fine without you. You only enhance her existence.
Is it really worth it.
Jan 20th 2020, 9:51 am
#3850
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
Read what I have explained. If you cannot understand then I will take the time to explain to you again... But more slowly. I take objection to your inference.
Jan 20th 2020, 10:29 am
#3851
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: Me and My Family
Greetings..
I normally wait a few days before replying to comments but in view of some of the early comments, I need to re-iterate my position...again.
First of all, my sons and close family know exactly what is going on here. I keep them fully updated on any change of events.
I have also made it clear that I am well aware that because our marriage appears void, I am not obligated to give her any money. But I will continue to do so for two reasons: It is because I want ensure that she is rehoused and has a job before I cut off all payments. She states she has a job this month which I and her elder sister doubt. This gesture of good will also be in my favour if she litigates against me. Irrespective of whether she has a job or not, I will shortly be issuing her an ultimatum to prove to me that her first marriage is void. I will require to see that the marriage certificate contains a forged signature. If she cannot do that, then there will be no more allowance.
My second reason is that she has caused doubt on the validity of her first marriage. I believe she is a bigamist which means our marriage is void. However, where doubt remains, I need to be cautious. But once I issue my ultimatum, all doubt will be removed.
It is very easy to be an armchair critic, but it is my safety and freedom that is at risk. I am told there are many hundreds of foreigners locked up because of trumped up charges. I don't intend to join those statistics.
Regards
I normally wait a few days before replying to comments but in view of some of the early comments, I need to re-iterate my position...again.
First of all, my sons and close family know exactly what is going on here. I keep them fully updated on any change of events.
I have also made it clear that I am well aware that because our marriage appears void, I am not obligated to give her any money. But I will continue to do so for two reasons: It is because I want ensure that she is rehoused and has a job before I cut off all payments. She states she has a job this month which I and her elder sister doubt. This gesture of good will also be in my favour if she litigates against me. Irrespective of whether she has a job or not, I will shortly be issuing her an ultimatum to prove to me that her first marriage is void. I will require to see that the marriage certificate contains a forged signature. If she cannot do that, then there will be no more allowance.
My second reason is that she has caused doubt on the validity of her first marriage. I believe she is a bigamist which means our marriage is void. However, where doubt remains, I need to be cautious. But once I issue my ultimatum, all doubt will be removed.
It is very easy to be an armchair critic, but it is my safety and freedom that is at risk. I am told there are many hundreds of foreigners locked up because of trumped up charges. I don't intend to join those statistics.
Regards
I think the simple answer is that you are an old school gentleman who can't see someone struggle no matter how much they lie and cheat and rather than just say that you are trying to justify your behaviour with a load of nonsense.. Do you still 'look after' your ex wife?
Jan 20th 2020, 12:27 pm
#3853
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 10,006
Re: Me and My Family
It's time someone forwarded this thread to his sons so they can step in and take care of this. They should see that LL is formally charged with bigamy and fraud, not at the local police station where she had pals, but in as high a court as they have there, and they should gain power of attorney over P11's finances and lock down his bank accounts immediately before she scams him out of another cent. If he puts up a fight it may be necessary to have him declared incompetent and move him back home where they can keep an eye on him. Sounds harsh but he won't admit to himself that he's the victim of a fraud scheme so is it really safe for him to be on his own? If it was my dad I'd probably try to get his money back from these bloodsuckers as well, but that may not be worth the potential trouble.
Jan 20th 2020, 12:48 pm
#3854
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 10,006
Re: Me and My Family
Greetings..
I normally wait a few days before replying to comments but in view of some of the early comments, I need to re-iterate my position...again.
First of all, my sons and close family know exactly what is going on here. I keep them fully updated on any change of events.
I have also made it clear that I am well aware that because our marriage appears void, I am not obligated to give her any money. But I will continue to do so for two reasons: It is because I want ensure that she is rehoused and has a job before I cut off all payments. She states she has a job this month which I and her elder sister doubt. This gesture of good will also be in my favour if she litigates against me. Irrespective of whether she has a job or not, I will shortly be issuing her an ultimatum to prove to me that her first marriage is void. I will require to see that the marriage certificate contains a forged signature. If she cannot do that, then there will be no more allowance.
My second reason is that she has caused doubt on the validity of her first marriage. I believe she is a bigamist which means our marriage is void. However, where doubt remains, I need to be cautious. But once I issue my ultimatum, all doubt will be removed.
It is very easy to be an armchair critic, but it is my safety and freedom that is at risk. I am told there are many hundreds of foreigners locked up because of trumped up charges. I don't intend to join those statistics.
Regards
I normally wait a few days before replying to comments but in view of some of the early comments, I need to re-iterate my position...again.
First of all, my sons and close family know exactly what is going on here. I keep them fully updated on any change of events.
I have also made it clear that I am well aware that because our marriage appears void, I am not obligated to give her any money. But I will continue to do so for two reasons: It is because I want ensure that she is rehoused and has a job before I cut off all payments. She states she has a job this month which I and her elder sister doubt. This gesture of good will also be in my favour if she litigates against me. Irrespective of whether she has a job or not, I will shortly be issuing her an ultimatum to prove to me that her first marriage is void. I will require to see that the marriage certificate contains a forged signature. If she cannot do that, then there will be no more allowance.
My second reason is that she has caused doubt on the validity of her first marriage. I believe she is a bigamist which means our marriage is void. However, where doubt remains, I need to be cautious. But once I issue my ultimatum, all doubt will be removed.
It is very easy to be an armchair critic, but it is my safety and freedom that is at risk. I am told there are many hundreds of foreigners locked up because of trumped up charges. I don't intend to join those statistics.
Regards
There area wide variety of people who have posted with experience abroad and often with the Philippines, enough of a consensus that goes beyond 'armchair chair' critics. Everyone is sympathetic to your plight and offered some good advice along the way, but it may be time to recognize you are not able to deal with situation rationally and call in a family member to deal with the situation for you.
Continuing contact and paying money just prolongs the situation, and actually may tend to weaken your position should this ever go to court. Highly unlikely you would be thrown into jail even if she were not a bigamist, at least according to a few people I have spoken to, especially if she has no money or stomach for attorney fees.
You have given reasons why you just don't pack up and go home to UK, but that doesn't preclude you going to another country offering similar benefits to the Philippines for example. You seem to fit the perfect description of someone who is an enabler, and one wonders for some reason if this ongoing drama you are addicted too- so maybe an intervention required by a trusted family member. I have impression going 'cold turkey' on this drama may be past your ability at this point. Safety ? Are you afraid of her ?
With all due respect you seem a very nice person who is in over his head. Time to get some help, as your own judgement ( clouded by emotion or whatever) has consistently not worked.
Jan 20th 2020, 1:21 pm
#3855
Concierge
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 46,388
Re: Me and My Family
It's time someone forwarded this thread to his sons so they can step in and take care of this. They should see that LL is formally charged with bigamy and fraud, not at the local police station where she had pals, but in as high a court as they have there, and they should gain power of attorney over P11's finances and lock down his bank accounts immediately before she scams him out of another cent. If he puts up a fight it may be necessary to have him declared incompetent and move him back home where they can keep an eye on him. Sounds harsh but he won't admit to himself that he's the victim of a fraud scheme so is it really safe for him to be on his own? If it was my dad I'd probably try to get his money back from these bloodsuckers as well, but that may not be worth the potential trouble.
We are entitled to opinions. They are freely given. However, few of us, myself included, do view P11 as a mentally incompetent, over the hill, doddering old man. He is free to live his life in whatever manner he chooses just as you are free to live yours. I hope you never find yourself on the receiving end of your children taking your life away from you and making all your personal and financial decisions for you.
P11 is telling his story and can make his own decisions. He never really came online to get our opinion but to recount what is transpiring in his life. He seems to have a handle on it.
P11 do what you feel you have to do.