Me and My Family

Old Dec 3rd 2019, 11:30 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

nonthaburi
"If the past four years teaches you one thing , let it be that you're not in the uk anymore. You're still applying uk thinking to your situation, and until you stop doing that your problems will continue"
Very well put. Unless P11 is a masochist he will do well to follow your summation.
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Old Dec 3rd 2019, 11:41 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11
Contact is kept to a minimum and is necessary at this point. Eventually I assume it will go to a Family Court who will decide on her alimony. I believe that lawyers are not required at the Family Court. She is the one that has been threatening lawyers etc whereas I have not except for advice only which is free. Now that I have evidence of bigamy, which she denies, she is now dancing to my tune. Since my disclosure, all threats have disappeared and she is now compliant.

Regards
Any contact is ill-advisable at this point, and unless you have an inept lawyer no reason to be paying a dime now or ever.As far as what local law says and happens in practice two very different things in the Philippines.
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Old Dec 3rd 2019, 1:51 pm
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Greetings...

Many points raised by various people so I will try to address them as follows:

Millhouse.. ****getting married to a complete nutter***** She wasn't when I married her. I certainly would not have married her if she had portrayed this behavior prior to marriage. I have also made it clear to her that I could put her in jail if I so wished. I have stated this here earlier. This is the reason she has stopped the various threats against me.

Red Ape. I intend to clarify the Abandonment Law tomorrow with a different attorney. https://attorney.org.ph/legal-news/2...n-and-children as elaborated by RA9262. Also on what if anything needs to be done to clarify my position on a void marriage and possible alimony as a co-habituating couple. But notwithstanding that, my rental agreement expires on Jan 22nd and she expects to have a job by then (her words) I intend to give support until that time. After that, she will be on her own depending on what advice I receive.

Nonthaburi... My comment re laws is certainly not laughable. Yes, I agree that the locals tend to ignore the laws in many cases, but we are foreigners. Locals cannot be deported but we can. Or have visa extensions declined. Many foreigners are in jail because of trumped up charges by their wives and gf's. I intend to make sure that will not happen to me.

Morpeth.... **Any contact is ill-advisable*** I believe that to end this relationship it requires to be done as harmonious as possible. This requires contact. Yes, you could say it wasn't harmonious from her with the threats etc initially But that does mean I have to stoop to her level.

Moving on....

Tomorrow she will be going to the big city again to file a case to have her original marriage void as illegal. The place where the marriage was carried out has asked for all the documentation related to that marriage and will be discussed with her and the attorney tomorrow. Yes....most probably lies. I am more interested in my clarification tomorrow.

Regards
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Old Dec 3rd 2019, 3:28 pm
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11
Greetings...

Many points raised by various people so I will try to address them as follows:

Millhouse.. ****getting married to a complete nutter***** She wasn't when I married her. I certainly would not have married her if she had portrayed this behavior prior to marriage. I have also made it clear to her that I could put her in jail if I so wished. I have stated this here earlier. This is the reason she has stopped the various threats against me.

Red Ape. I intend to clarify the Abandonment Law tomorrow with a different attorney. https://attorney.org.ph/legal-news/2...n-and-children as elaborated by RA9262. Also on what if anything needs to be done to clarify my position on a void marriage and possible alimony as a co-habituating couple. But notwithstanding that, my rental agreement expires on Jan 22nd and she expects to have a job by then (her words) I intend to give support until that time. After that, she will be on her own depending on what advice I receive.

Nonthaburi... My comment re laws is certainly not laughable. Yes, I agree that the locals tend to ignore the laws in many cases, but we are foreigners. Locals cannot be deported but we can. Or have visa extensions declined. Many foreigners are in jail because of trumped up charges by their wives and gf's. I intend to make sure that will not happen to me.

Morpeth.... **Any contact is ill-advisable*** I believe that to end this relationship it requires to be done as harmonious as possible. This requires contact. Yes, you could say it wasn't harmonious from her with the threats etc initially But that does mean I have to stoop to her level.

Moving on....

Tomorrow she will be going to the big city again to file a case to have her original marriage void as illegal. The place where the marriage was carried out has asked for all the documentation related to that marriage and will be discussed with her and the attorney tomorrow. Yes....most probably lies. I am more interested in my clarification tomorrow.

Regards
Maybe we are reading different threads but she was a total fruitcake with a tonne of baggage and a parasitic family at the time of the wedding in the one I’m reading. There were more red flags at that wedding than a May Day parade.
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Old Dec 3rd 2019, 3:30 pm
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Millhouse


Maybe we are reading different threads but she was a total fruitcake with a tonne of baggage and a parasitic family at the time of the wedding in the one I’m reading. There were more red flags at that wedding than a May Day parade.
I agree and not only a fruitcake, but a lying, deceitful, scheming, manipulator. Many have said so throughout the thread.
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Old Dec 4th 2019, 1:44 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Millhouse


Maybe we are reading different threads but she was a total fruitcake with a tonne of baggage and a parasitic family at the time of the wedding in the one I’m reading. There were more red flags at that wedding than a May Day parade.
Obviously we are reading different threads to the one I actually wrote and experienced. I reiterate... The first 3 years were perfect in the main and there were no red flags at the wedding. It was a perfect day in a great setting with good friends and family in attendance.

Regards
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Old Dec 4th 2019, 2:59 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11
Obviously we are reading different threads to the one I actually wrote and experienced. I reiterate... The first 3 years were perfect in the main and there were no red flags at the wedding. It was a perfect day in a great setting with good friends and family in attendance.

Regards
Different threads indeed. At least I remember shaking my head in disbelief about a few events in your daily life you wrote about during the 1st 3 years.
But why look back on a stoney path, look ahead to the future. Buddhist saying.
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Old Dec 4th 2019, 3:01 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Thairetired2016
But why look back on a stoney path, look ahead to the future. Buddhist saying.
I like that
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Old Dec 4th 2019, 3:18 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Thairetired2016
But why look back on a stoney path, look ahead to the future. Buddhist saying.
Karma

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Old Dec 4th 2019, 6:29 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11
Greetings...

Many points raised by various people so I will try to address them as follows:

Millhouse.. ****getting married to a complete nutter***** She wasn't when I married her. I certainly would not have married her if she had portrayed this behavior prior to marriage. I have also made it clear to her that I could put her in jail if I so wished. I have stated this here earlier. This is the reason she has stopped the various threats against me.

Red Ape. I intend to clarify the Abandonment Law tomorrow with a different attorney. https://attorney.org.ph/legal-news/2...n-and-children as elaborated by RA9262. Also on what if anything needs to be done to clarify my position on a void marriage and possible alimony as a co-habituating couple. But notwithstanding that, my rental agreement expires on Jan 22nd and she expects to have a job by then (her words) I intend to give support until that time. After that, she will be on her own depending on what advice I receive.

Nonthaburi... My comment re laws is certainly not laughable. Yes, I agree that the locals tend to ignore the laws in many cases, but we are foreigners. Locals cannot be deported but we can. Or have visa extensions declined. Many foreigners are in jail because of trumped up charges by their wives and gf's. I intend to make sure that will not happen to me.

Morpeth.... **Any contact is ill-advisable*** I believe that to end this relationship it requires to be done as harmonious as possible. This requires contact. Yes, you could say it wasn't harmonious from her with the threats etc initially But that does mean I have to stoop to her level.

Moving on....

Tomorrow she will be going to the big city again to file a case to have her original marriage void as illegal. The place where the marriage was carried out has asked for all the documentation related to that marriage and will be discussed with her and the attorney tomorrow. Yes....most probably lies. I am more interested in my clarification tomorrow.

Regards
It isn't a question of stooping to her level but the advice lawyers give in such cases, simply trying to be your own lawyer is a big mistake. Just anecdotally I have never encountered a foreigner who was put in jail for non payment of support- usually such cases solved one way or another far before that stage. It seems there is a long history of misjudging her and being taken advantage of, and underestimating her family and mutual contacts. We can all sympathize with what you have gone through. but based on past experience better to put the whole situation in lawyer's hands who is not emotional about the matter or gullible to what she says.
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Old Dec 4th 2019, 6:40 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11
The first 3 years were perfect in the main and there were no red flags at the wedding.

Regards
May I very politely suggest you go back to the beginning of this thread and read all your posts again. You are most definitely wearing rose coloured specs if you believe this. Also I'd hazard a guess that when Millhouse said Wedding he was possibly meaning the lead up to the wedding rather than the actual day but I'm fairly sure you posted about various things on the day which were most certainly not unicorns farting rainbows.

Last edited by moneypenny20; Dec 4th 2019 at 1:08 pm. Reason: Fixed quote
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Old Dec 4th 2019, 6:45 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by nonthaburi
I'm not going to get into some long winded essay about why I believe you to be wrong but I will say this.

I've managed to survive half my life in Asia thus far, still married to the same woman I might add. I've yet to find myself in the position you are .

Your comment re laws is laughable, considering the care that you ex showed regarding the law. And of course I'm sure that everyone in the Philippines follows the law to the letter, no one breaks the law, there are no traffic violations, no corruption and so on and so on ad infinitum.

If the past four years teaches you one thing , let it be that you're not in the uk anymore. You're still applying uk thinking to your situation, and until you stop doing that your problems will continue.

I don't want to sound harsh because you seem like a nice guy, but there's a saying about nice guys and you'd do well to remember that.
You make a good point he seems a very nice person but my impression fairly clueless about the local culture and how things are done. Not uncommon if one persists in applying a UK approach. I don't mean this disrespectfully but reading back over at the posts seems Philosophical a continual surprise at events. The idea one can read the local law, and then understand its practical application in a place like the Philippines ( hard enough at times in the UK) and be one's own lawyer hardly seems the best approach to resolving the matter. A lawyer not having the emotion and the UK cultural blinders, who probably knows the local court officials etc, much better to know how to handle situation. Chances are if communication only through lawyer and support stops immediately, she will ask for small settlement and the matter is over.

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Old Dec 4th 2019, 7:00 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by moneypenny20

May I very politely suggest you go back to the beginning of this thread and read all your posts again. You are most definitely wearing rose coloured specs if you believe this. Also I'd hazard a guess that when Millhouse said Wedding he was possibly meaning the lead up to the wedding rather than the actual day but I'm fairly sure you posted about various things on the day which were most certainly not unicorns farting rainbows.
Correct. Our trooper is very literal sometimes... "the wedding" is really a period of about 6 months or more given planning, the day and the honeymoon. It was all going to the shit during this period, before and after.

Last edited by moneypenny20; Dec 4th 2019 at 1:08 pm. Reason: Fixed quote
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Old Dec 4th 2019, 12:23 pm
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11
Red Ape. I intend to clarify the Abandonment Law tomorrow with a different attorney. https://attorney.org.ph/legal-news/2...n-and-children as elaborated by RA9262. Also on what if anything needs to be done to clarify my position on a void marriage and possible alimony as a co-habituating couple. But notwithstanding that, my rental agreement expires on Jan 22nd and she expects to have a job by then (her words) I intend to give support until that time. After that, she will be on her own depending on what advice I receive.
The quoted link points to an article which related to domestic violence and the actions the victim can take to protect himself/herself against the violent partner. I fail to see how this applies to your situation. Moreover, this article does not seem to relate to abandonment at all. On the contrary: it provides means to remove the violent partner from the victim, both physically as well as economically.
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Old Dec 4th 2019, 12:36 pm
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by moneypenny20
May I very politely suggest you go back to the beginning of this thread and read all your posts again. You are most definitely wearing rose coloured specs if you believe this. Also I'd hazard a guess that when Millhouse said Wedding he was possibly meaning the lead up to the wedding rather than the actual day but I'm fairly sure you posted about various things on the day which were most certainly not unicorns farting rainbows.
I do not need to go back and read the posts. I wrote them and lived them. What you and others seem to forget is that I only wrote about the negative times because the positives drew no interest. The negatives were the niggles one gets in living in a developing country. I had no problems with the first 3 yrs....the final year has certainly been a major problem. Which is why I have left her.

Regards

Last edited by moneypenny20; Dec 4th 2019 at 1:10 pm. Reason: Fixed quote.
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