Stokkevn

If there is, definite DNA test required

Philosophical 11

Ok.....a general update.

I think I have found a place to live so will be settled down soon. Still being well taken of by a lovely couple who have helped and supported me during this very difficult time. Cannot thank them enough.

Since I last reported here, I have seen an attorney and told me thus...... The debt of 191k which is illegal, and has no contractual basis and only written on a piece of paper signed by her only before we are married can be pursued through the small claims procedure here. More on that later.

The "abandonment" issue is real and I must support my wife the best I can financially. That is an obligation I am aware of. More on that later also.

She has been threatening me with a case before the brgy captain. I accused her of having a bf (which I am careful not to at the moment) and other petty issues such as shaming her by talking to my friends about the problem. He has advised me to ignore that. Doubt if she will anyway....usual threats.

I should go for an annulment obviously but he has a retainer of 150k....out of my league at the moment.

I cannot go to Hong Kong for a divorce which I was told was legal here in the Philippines.

Now....the events since I last wrote here........

She has been blowing hot and cold since I left her which is usual. Threats and then pictures of her with the dog and puppies as an example. But never a plea to come back home as before. That to me just confirms what we thought. She has no further use for me. I believe she has a bf of about 1 year and I guess they wanted to get as much money out of me as possible.

I can be liable for this illegal debt according to the attorney. I am married to her so her debts and assets become mine also. However as he points out it is not a prisonable offence and if the creditor pursues it through the small claims court we have little assets to take. I find it odd that a legal system can take on an illegal debt. They can sequestrate my bank account but he tells me they cannot touch that because it is my pension. I really need to confirm that. All this also applies to the girl who owes me about 133k. There are no central records to record these judgments.

I have told my wife that she is legally responsible for her debt. I have not told her that I am also liable. On hearing that she accepted that and said she will get a job "overseas"...(still no mention of Kuwait) to pay off the debt. However she has since come back to me and said that she falls outside the age limit of 35. She has also stated that she can no longer work in the "big city" call centre because of "health reasons". I have told her to get some sort of job soon, because I cannot support her fully financially for eternity. I will ask for a doctors certificate. She has to go there to sign for her pay on 4 Nov according to her. I will ask for sight of her payslip and if that is not forthcoming a contract agreement. Interesting that she cannot work anymore now that I have left her. More interestingly, is that I have not heard a peep out of the creditor for a few days who has been hounding me daily. That perhaps indicates collusion between the two of them. A scam.

Her family are angry with her. She tells me that they have changed the lock on the gate and she can no longer visit their house. I have had msgs of support from Filipina wives who say they will speak for me and against her if there are any proceedings against her. The 15k from her "customer" has still not arrived and although she has a receipt for her new mobile phone....she has not shown me the receipt.

I have a Filipina wife who lives near the father of her two boys. She knows the father. She is going to try and find out more about the rumour of a previous marriage etc.

I think that's about all for now

Regards

Bealinehx

P11,
This doesn't make sense to me, or, am I thick?
"I have a Filipina wife who lives near the father of her two boys. She knows the father. She is going to try and find out more about the rumour of a previous marriage etc."

Very pleased that you have found a place to replant your roots so to speak.
Take care

Philosophical 11

Sorry... My mistake. I know of a filippina wife married to an ex pat who lives near to the father of my wife's two boys

Regards

BEVS

Kindness always makes me happy.

I do hope this will all be sorted out asap. Something clear cut so you know what you must and must not do.

Looking forward in a while to reading about your new and happier life as you rebuild that.

YuNick

I have long followed your story, not commented as others said all that needed saying, but, I am glad you are safe and in a happier place. Life is full of adventures, some good ,some bad. You can take comfort from the fact you did all you can to make it succeed. I wish you well in your future, time to enjoy life even more with less drama. Best wishes.

spouse of scouse

Isn't it lovely to find good people when you need them most. Keep on rockin' P11, you're almost there. Don't hand over one peso more than you're legally obliged to, she's forfeited the right to any consideration from you.

Stokkevn

I wonder if the bf and money lender are related ( bf and loan appeared on the scene about the same time by the looks of things ), getting a nice P19k a month from you would certainly beat working for a living.

spouse of scouse

P11, re this part of your post

I should go for an annulment obviously but he has a retainer of 150k....out of my league at the moment.
I cannot go to Hong Kong for a divorce which I was told was legal here in the Philippines.

The link I'm going to post below states that you can divorce your wife in the UK (without the need for you to be present in the UK) and that divorce would be recognised by the Philippines. It's a link to an expats solicitors website but while their main reason for publishing the information is probably to get clients to retain them, there's no reason to doubt the authenticity of the information. Have a good read of it. Your attorney should have advised you of this option, but I guess he'd rather you retain him for the drawn out and expensive process of an annulment.

Apparently such a divorce would take 4 - 6 months and then, as the divorce would be recognised by the Philippines government, you wouldn't have to have anything to do with your wife again (including not being responsible for her so called debts)
https://expatriatelaw.com/divorce-in-the-philippines/

Millhouse

Philosophical 11

Thanks....but in the UK I need her consent....doubt if I will get that.

spouse of scouse

True, if she doesn't consent you'll need to wait until you've been separated for 5 years, after which it doesn't matter if the other party doesn't consent.

Rete

P11 ..... I'm glad that you have finally accepted the way things are and are making inroads to dissolving the marriage. Yes, it is going to cost money but you'll tighten your belt and live on beans on toast for several months until you can afford the attorney fee. I'm sorry that you are forced to continue giving her financial support but glad that it is a smallish amount in regards to what you bring in on your pension monthly.

Is there such a thing as a legal separation there? Does the monthly support amount come from a court order or is it just what you feel you can give without jeopardizing your own financial welfare? Are you still responsible for her healthcare bills?

May happiness dog your footsteps for the rest of your life and may the sunrises and sunsets be strikingly beautiful each day of your life.

Mallory

Thairetired2016

P11 won't be the last one to have gone through this experience. Guys don't seem to learn.
All the best for P11.