Me and My Family
Oct 21st 2019, 5:20 pm
#3316
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,013
Re: Me and My Family
The "goldrush" has started a few years ago.
Oct 21st 2019, 5:30 pm
#3317
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,013
Re: Me and My Family
Originally Posted by JDW
I posted this but the first hit vanished. So this may end up as a double post. If so, can one of the mods remove the 'duplicate'? If not, apologies.
Fortunately I saved a copy. Now reposting...
A new member here. First post. Huzzah! P11's sad saga has had me hooked for ages. I recently read the entire thread from page 1, which took an entire day. A bit like Gone With The Wind. It has its own civil war and a smaller cast of players, but I rather fancy P11 as Rhett Butler and definitely his LL as a New Age Scarlet O'Hara... Okay, bad joke finished.
P11, consider Malaysia as a temporary bolt-hole. It's a civilised country with friendly and polite people with middle-class aspirations and not money-grabby, English is widely spoken, with a trio (Malay, Indian, Chinese) of cultures, a fascinating colonial history, excellent food, and all the mod cons and life amenities and services you will ever need or want. A Muslim culture,but beer, wine and spirits are readily available. Living costs are generally reasonable. Many expats prefer living in Penang, Kuala Lumpur and Melaka but there are more quiet cities (Ipoh or Kuching) if a more laid back (and cheaper) lifestyle is what you want. The east coast is not renowned for its beaches, but it offers you everything else.
Naughty ladies are everywhere, as are many more serious types looking for a serious and lasting relationship. I met my life partner (Chinese-Malay) in Melaka 15 years ago. After two years of endless (and expensive) commuting we decided to live in Australia. Now in Bali for the duration of a sublet house I took over from an expat who left after having visa problems with corrupt Indonesian immigration officials, and if it wasn't for the house and our six rescue cats, we would be on the first Air Asia flight to - Penang.
An earlier post mentioned Bali, a lovely place but as expensive as Thailand now, and the idiotic Indonesian visa system makes long-term planning almost impossible if one isn't wealthy or well connected (or willing to play the corruption game).
Look at Malaysia as a short-term escape plan and not the Third World (which Malaysia isn't) havens of Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam or Indonesia. Stay three months (or longer if it pleases you) and if you want to, make a new plan and move on. Or stay.
A 90 day tourist visa is free on arrival, and can be renewed for a sensible number of times by leaving the country for at least 72 hours (three days) and then returning. After four visas (or a year) a longer absence is advised - maybe a month in Bali or Vietnam- and you can then go back and start again.
Penang may be your best option as it offers a laid back lifestyle, many fellow expats and sensible costs if you avoid the western high life and the ourist traps of Georgetown. For a more quiet life, try Ipoh (between Penang and KL but inland) or Melaka (a World Heritage old city with many interesting aspects). Kuala Lumpur is a maybe if you like large cities. At my age (69) I avoid it, for me it's too busy and impersonal so a no-go.
Three months (or longer if it suits you) somewhere in Malaysia will give you time to recover from the shock of your break-up, regain some of your old self-confidence and joie-de-vivre, rebuild your finances, and make plans for your new life - without the stress of possible legal action by or even violent revenge from your LLLL
Can you work out the meaning of the two additional LLs?
P11, I (and I'm sure everyone else on BE) wish you the very best in making your successful escape plans and building your new life away from the Philippines.
Fortunately I saved a copy. Now reposting...
A new member here. First post. Huzzah! P11's sad saga has had me hooked for ages. I recently read the entire thread from page 1, which took an entire day. A bit like Gone With The Wind. It has its own civil war and a smaller cast of players, but I rather fancy P11 as Rhett Butler and definitely his LL as a New Age Scarlet O'Hara... Okay, bad joke finished.
P11, consider Malaysia as a temporary bolt-hole. It's a civilised country with friendly and polite people with middle-class aspirations and not money-grabby, English is widely spoken, with a trio (Malay, Indian, Chinese) of cultures, a fascinating colonial history, excellent food, and all the mod cons and life amenities and services you will ever need or want. A Muslim culture,but beer, wine and spirits are readily available. Living costs are generally reasonable. Many expats prefer living in Penang, Kuala Lumpur and Melaka but there are more quiet cities (Ipoh or Kuching) if a more laid back (and cheaper) lifestyle is what you want. The east coast is not renowned for its beaches, but it offers you everything else.
Naughty ladies are everywhere, as are many more serious types looking for a serious and lasting relationship. I met my life partner (Chinese-Malay) in Melaka 15 years ago. After two years of endless (and expensive) commuting we decided to live in Australia. Now in Bali for the duration of a sublet house I took over from an expat who left after having visa problems with corrupt Indonesian immigration officials, and if it wasn't for the house and our six rescue cats, we would be on the first Air Asia flight to - Penang.
An earlier post mentioned Bali, a lovely place but as expensive as Thailand now, and the idiotic Indonesian visa system makes long-term planning almost impossible if one isn't wealthy or well connected (or willing to play the corruption game).
Look at Malaysia as a short-term escape plan and not the Third World (which Malaysia isn't) havens of Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam or Indonesia. Stay three months (or longer if it pleases you) and if you want to, make a new plan and move on. Or stay.
A 90 day tourist visa is free on arrival, and can be renewed for a sensible number of times by leaving the country for at least 72 hours (three days) and then returning. After four visas (or a year) a longer absence is advised - maybe a month in Bali or Vietnam- and you can then go back and start again.
Penang may be your best option as it offers a laid back lifestyle, many fellow expats and sensible costs if you avoid the western high life and the ourist traps of Georgetown. For a more quiet life, try Ipoh (between Penang and KL but inland) or Melaka (a World Heritage old city with many interesting aspects). Kuala Lumpur is a maybe if you like large cities. At my age (69) I avoid it, for me it's too busy and impersonal so a no-go.
Three months (or longer if it suits you) somewhere in Malaysia will give you time to recover from the shock of your break-up, regain some of your old self-confidence and joie-de-vivre, rebuild your finances, and make plans for your new life - without the stress of possible legal action by or even violent revenge from your LLLL
Can you work out the meaning of the two additional LLs?
P11, I (and I'm sure everyone else on BE) wish you the very best in making your successful escape plans and building your new life away from the Philippines.
Tks.
Oct 21st 2019, 5:42 pm
#3318
SUPER MODERATOR
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 88,021
Re: Me and My Family
I don't want to hijack the topic, but I'm personally interested in Malaysia i.e. cost of furnished accommodation in e.g. Penang, Kuching. We have visited Penang a few times but were unable to get info. Furnished and serviced didn't seem to exist. We enjoyed Melaka but it is too touristy. You can PM me.
Tks.
Tks.
Thanks.
Oct 21st 2019, 6:23 pm
#3319
Auntie Fa
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Seattle
Posts: 7,344
Re: Me and My Family
Apologies that I haven't read every single post but I thought she got a sick note - has that expired?
P11, I'm afraid your language is not convincing me that you are 100% certain you are heading out of this mess. PLEASE take all the advice given and cut your losses and get out of there. You have no idea who else is involved - I have heard way too many stories of "brothers" or "uncles" actually being husbands and in on a long-term scam. (No, I wish I was joking.)
You have been given some sensible suggestions on where to move to, either temporarily or permanently. I agree that Bali is not cheap, not in your situation at least (compared to, say, moving from working life in Australia). Indonesia is a big place - and Manado is just a short flight away - though I think some of the other suggestions would give you more of an expat community. I hope your next post is from one of them.
Thairetired2016, there are tonnes of posts on Penang and MM2H.
P11, I'm afraid your language is not convincing me that you are 100% certain you are heading out of this mess. PLEASE take all the advice given and cut your losses and get out of there. You have no idea who else is involved - I have heard way too many stories of "brothers" or "uncles" actually being husbands and in on a long-term scam. (No, I wish I was joking.)
You have been given some sensible suggestions on where to move to, either temporarily or permanently. I agree that Bali is not cheap, not in your situation at least (compared to, say, moving from working life in Australia). Indonesia is a big place - and Manado is just a short flight away - though I think some of the other suggestions would give you more of an expat community. I hope your next post is from one of them.
Thairetired2016, there are tonnes of posts on Penang and MM2H.
Oct 21st 2019, 6:29 pm
#3320
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,013
Re: Me and My Family
Apologies that I haven't read every single post but I thought she got a sick note - has that expired?
P11, I'm afraid your language is not convincing me that you are 100% certain you are heading out of this mess. PLEASE take all the advice given and cut your losses and get out of there. You have no idea who else is involved - I have heard way too many stories of "brothers" or "uncles" actually being husbands and in on a long-term scam. (No, I wish I was joking.)
You have been given some sensible suggestions on where to move to, either temporarily or permanently. I agree that Bali is not cheap, not in your situation at least (compared to, say, moving from working life in Australia). Indonesia is a big place - and Manado is just a short flight away - though I think some of the other suggestions would give you more of an expat community. I hope your next post is from one of them.
Thairetired2016, there are tonnes of posts on Penang and MM2H.
P11, I'm afraid your language is not convincing me that you are 100% certain you are heading out of this mess. PLEASE take all the advice given and cut your losses and get out of there. You have no idea who else is involved - I have heard way too many stories of "brothers" or "uncles" actually being husbands and in on a long-term scam. (No, I wish I was joking.)
You have been given some sensible suggestions on where to move to, either temporarily or permanently. I agree that Bali is not cheap, not in your situation at least (compared to, say, moving from working life in Australia). Indonesia is a big place - and Manado is just a short flight away - though I think some of the other suggestions would give you more of an expat community. I hope your next post is from one of them.
Thairetired2016, there are tonnes of posts on Penang and MM2H.
but not tonnes of posts to my question. Nor did I ask about Mmh2.
Oct 21st 2019, 7:18 pm
#3322
In the pink
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 3,324
Re: Me and My Family
Sometime recently P11 said he left, and was gone for 17 days. He didn’t say where he went, but eventually came back. I hope this will not be a repeat performance. I’m sure his wife will think he is coming back (to pay the rent). He obviously still loves here. I hope he finds a new life somewhere else, deletes his FB page and changes phone numbers. It will be difficult for him, but here’s hoping.
Oct 22nd 2019, 5:30 am
#3323
`
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 38,612
Re: Me and My Family
Sometime recently P11 said he left, and was gone for 17 days. He didn’t say where he went, but eventually came back. I hope this will not be a repeat performance. I’m sure his wife will think he is coming back (to pay the rent). He obviously still loves here. I hope he finds a new life somewhere else, deletes his FB page and changes phone numbers. It will be difficult for him, but here’s hoping.
P11 was online around 5 hours ago. I am not spying as such . Just concerned to know he has extradited himself for both their sakes. Seeing him online assures he is about.
Oct 22nd 2019, 7:20 am
#3324
Still alive
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 28,994
Re: Me and My Family
I am hoping so too. It is hard to leave a relationship that has turned sour and is damaging to both people concerned. It is also brave and they both , regardless of what we all may judge, deserve to have a happier life. It is time for them both to stop.
P11 was online around 5 hours ago. I am not spying as such . Just concerned to know he has extradited himself for both their sakes. Seeing him online assures he is about.
P11 was online around 5 hours ago. I am not spying as such . Just concerned to know he has extradited himself for both their sakes. Seeing him online assures he is about.
Oct 22nd 2019, 8:54 am
#3325
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2017
Location: uk/manila
Posts: 206
Re: Me and My Family
"I am hoping so too. It is hard to leave a relationship that has turned sour and is damaging to both people concerned. It is also brave and they both , regardless of what we all may judge, deserve to have a happier life. It is time for them both to stop"
I disagree..NO....she most definitely DOES NOT deserve a happier life.She deserves misery and penury for the rest of her life.
I disagree..NO....she most definitely DOES NOT deserve a happier life.She deserves misery and penury for the rest of her life.
Oct 22nd 2019, 9:01 am
#3326
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Disneyland, Dubai
Posts: 15,887
Re: Me and My Family
Very bitter and petty. No one deserves that. Even the one who ran away with your kid - both parties are always at fault and it takes balls to recognize it - when you do, you can make peace with the situation.
Oct 22nd 2019, 9:27 am
#3327
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2017
Location: uk/manila
Posts: 206
Re: Me and My Family
Putting my own problems aside Millhouse,how is P11 at fault in this particular story?....he has done nothing but shower her with love,patience and kindness.Both parties ALWAYS being at fault fits your narrative perfectly,but i don't believe it is always the case.Both parties always being at fault is a cosy and conciliatory remark that fills us all with warmth.But it is not necessarily true IMO.
Is he at fault because he has been TOO kind?....she has manipulated him from day one and subconsciously he will have known that if he did not give her what she wanted,then the spectre of her leaving would forever linger in the atmosphere.
He is not the only one to be in a position like this.There will be thousands of them out there,many too embarrassed to admit it.
Is he at fault because he has been TOO kind?....she has manipulated him from day one and subconsciously he will have known that if he did not give her what she wanted,then the spectre of her leaving would forever linger in the atmosphere.
He is not the only one to be in a position like this.There will be thousands of them out there,many too embarrassed to admit it.
Oct 22nd 2019, 9:47 am
#3328
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 466
Re: Me and My Family
P11 seems to have gone to ground today. I would advice P11 to try to wrap things up amicably. The last thing he needs is for trumped up charges to be brought against him. Should he just dissapear problems could arise when he renews his Tourist visa. If a charge was made against him it would be regisrered with the DOJ which would pass on the information to BI and such like. Likewise, should he leave the Philippines it would have been noted there is a court case impending and he would be unable to get a exit clearance cirtificate, thus he would not be allowed to leave. If he were to leave the Philippines immeadiatly he could get round the problem.
I again would strongly advice P11 to seek the advice of a established attourney if he desire to stay in the Philippines. A good attourney Will advice him on what is the correct procedure, is he liable for his wifes debts, check up the validy of his marriage, etc.etc.
I again would strongly advice P11 to seek the advice of a established attourney if he desire to stay in the Philippines. A good attourney Will advice him on what is the correct procedure, is he liable for his wifes debts, check up the validy of his marriage, etc.etc.
Oct 22nd 2019, 11:21 am
#3329
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: Disneyland, Dubai
Posts: 15,887
Re: Me and My Family
Putting my own problems aside Millhouse,how is P11 at fault in this particular story?....he has done nothing but shower her with love,patience and kindness.Both parties ALWAYS being at fault fits your narrative perfectly,but i don't believe it is always the case.Both parties always being at fault is a cosy and conciliatory remark that fills us all with warmth.But it is not necessarily true IMO.
Is he at fault because he has been TOO kind?....she has manipulated him from day one and subconsciously he will have known that if he did not give her what she wanted,then the spectre of her leaving would forever linger in the atmosphere.
He is not the only one to be in a position like this.There will be thousands of them out there,many too embarrassed to admit it.
Is he at fault because he has been TOO kind?....she has manipulated him from day one and subconsciously he will have known that if he did not give her what she wanted,then the spectre of her leaving would forever linger in the atmosphere.
He is not the only one to be in a position like this.There will be thousands of them out there,many too embarrassed to admit it.