Me and My Family
Oct 12th 2019, 11:25 am
#3076
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2014
Location: Capiz
Posts: 1,646
Re: Me and My Family
My wife told me....We do NOT have a certificate of marriage. But we can get one from City Hall.....although I thought it was from PSA. That was a bombshell to me. We are not officially married...it has not been recorded as such. I think she let slip her secret. There was speculation a while back that she was already married to a guy in Manila where she had 2 daughters. The father of her two boys wanted to marry her, but could not. Because she was married. When the Banns went up in the City Hall prior to our marriage, the father of the two boys wanted to speak to me. I refused. I passed a message to him that if he had objections to our marriage, he should do so as invited by the Banns. You may remember (or not) the City Hall could not issue a license to marry.....because of a "problem". We had to go to the "Big City" to NSA as it was then and I believe she saw a relative who works there....and a license was produced. So there you have it. No hard proof of a previous marriage ...just conjecture. But at this moment....I am not officially married. It has not been recorded. She previously denied all allegations of a previous marriage and insisted that our marriage was legal and she had already registered it. I asked her to show the certificate. She never did. This was all during the second separation of 17 days.
Finally....I am back in the dog house. I think she stole some money from me this morning and scammed me of a further 1k. She now has her 3k interest due on the 30k she owes on the other loan. Anyway....that's what I think.
Regards
Finally....I am back in the dog house. I think she stole some money from me this morning and scammed me of a further 1k. She now has her 3k interest due on the 30k she owes on the other loan. Anyway....that's what I think.
Regards
You have been handed a Get Out of Jail Free card with this missing/unregistered/unrecorded/fictitious marriage cert. I would use it and tell her as you were never married you are on your way.
Oct 12th 2019, 12:46 pm
#3078
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
Moving on...
I have checked the PSA web site again and you cannot check the marital status on line. A personal appearance is required. As far as I am aware, all marriages ...similar to deaths and births etc must be registered personally with the PSA. Likewise, checks on marital status must be made personally.
Regards
Oct 12th 2019, 1:06 pm
#3079
Concierge
Joined: Jan 2013
Location: Western Australia
Posts: 21,139
Re: Me and My Family
I have no idea what the condition is, but I believe it is abnormal even compared to some stories I have heard here. Maybe it would be easier to understand if she caught me having an affair, or arriving home drunk and beating her but that is not the case. One of the most un-nerving aspects when she has had a rage or physically restrained is that she appears to go into a trance when laying or sitting down. Her eyes are wide open hardly blinking for perhaps 10-15 mins.then falls asleep apparently mentally/physically exhausted. She is oblivious to anything during her trance like period and does not respond to anything I say or do. To describe it better.....it seems as though her brain has seized up.
When she lies, she appears to believe her own stories....almost as though she is not living in reality. She can be a manipulator and devious almost as though it was the norm. All this has manifested itself in the last year or so. A Walter Mitty character also. Does not live in the real world but in another world devoid from reality. One reason perhaps why she has effectively dis-owned her 4 kids. Someone mentioned a little while back that skin whitening products can harm the brain. She had a course of injections a year or so back. But this is all conjecture.
Moving on.....a big revelation.
I have a St Peters plan which takes care of funeral expenses etc if I kick the bucket. It expired end of September. When I took it out 2 yrs ago (9k pa) it was in my wifes name, but the benefactor was her elder sister (Waddly). I could not understand why this is so. My name should be on there somewhere. I was told that the benefactor was interchangeable, and the policy applies to both the policy holder and benefactor. When it was renewed last year, I asked the agent to provide a policy with my name on it. She agreed and I paid a small fee to have an amendment made to the policy. I never saw the amended policy. I decided then that when it was due for renewal, I would go to the main office in the "little big city" and renew it there. And ask questions.
I did that yesterday. I found that the policy had not been changed. Also, because I was outside the age limit to hold the policy, I could only be a benefactor. Remember, the policy is applicable to both policy holder and benefactor, if I understand it correctly. Now to change the benefactor, it would take about a month. Imagine the scenario...I died peacefully in my sleep and my wife would not receive any benefits until the policy change had been made. So...what would she do? Most probably contact one of my siblings and ask for funeral expenses. I will leave the rest of that to your imagination.
Now, to put me on the policy, we require ID's and a certificate of marriage. My wife told me....We do NOT have a certificate of marriage. But we can get one from City Hall.....although I thought it was from PSA. That was a bombshell to me. We are not officially married...it has not been recorded as such. I think she let slip her secret. There was speculation a while back that she was already married to a guy in Manila where she had 2 daughters. The father of her two boys wanted to marry her, but could not. Because she was married. When the Banns went up in the City Hall prior to our marriage, the father of the two boys wanted to speak to me. I refused. I passed a message to him that if he had objections to our marriage, he should do so as invited by the Banns. You may remember (or not) the City Hall could not issue a license to marry.....because of a "problem". We had to go to the "Big City" to NSA as it was then and I believe she saw a relative who works there....and a license was produced. So there you have it. No hard proof of a previous marriage ...just conjecture. But at this moment....I am not officially married. It has not been recorded. She previously denied all allegations of a previous marriage and insisted that our marriage was legal and she had already registered it. I asked her to show the certificate. She never did. This was all during the second separation of 17 days.
Finally....I am back in the dog house. I think she stole some money from me this morning and scammed me of a further 1k. She now has her 3k interest due on the 30k she owes on the other loan. Anyway....that's what I think.
Regards
When she lies, she appears to believe her own stories....almost as though she is not living in reality. She can be a manipulator and devious almost as though it was the norm. All this has manifested itself in the last year or so. A Walter Mitty character also. Does not live in the real world but in another world devoid from reality. One reason perhaps why she has effectively dis-owned her 4 kids. Someone mentioned a little while back that skin whitening products can harm the brain. She had a course of injections a year or so back. But this is all conjecture.
Moving on.....a big revelation.
I have a St Peters plan which takes care of funeral expenses etc if I kick the bucket. It expired end of September. When I took it out 2 yrs ago (9k pa) it was in my wifes name, but the benefactor was her elder sister (Waddly). I could not understand why this is so. My name should be on there somewhere. I was told that the benefactor was interchangeable, and the policy applies to both the policy holder and benefactor. When it was renewed last year, I asked the agent to provide a policy with my name on it. She agreed and I paid a small fee to have an amendment made to the policy. I never saw the amended policy. I decided then that when it was due for renewal, I would go to the main office in the "little big city" and renew it there. And ask questions.
I did that yesterday. I found that the policy had not been changed. Also, because I was outside the age limit to hold the policy, I could only be a benefactor. Remember, the policy is applicable to both policy holder and benefactor, if I understand it correctly. Now to change the benefactor, it would take about a month. Imagine the scenario...I died peacefully in my sleep and my wife would not receive any benefits until the policy change had been made. So...what would she do? Most probably contact one of my siblings and ask for funeral expenses. I will leave the rest of that to your imagination.
Now, to put me on the policy, we require ID's and a certificate of marriage. My wife told me....We do NOT have a certificate of marriage. But we can get one from City Hall.....although I thought it was from PSA. That was a bombshell to me. We are not officially married...it has not been recorded as such. I think she let slip her secret. There was speculation a while back that she was already married to a guy in Manila where she had 2 daughters. The father of her two boys wanted to marry her, but could not. Because she was married. When the Banns went up in the City Hall prior to our marriage, the father of the two boys wanted to speak to me. I refused. I passed a message to him that if he had objections to our marriage, he should do so as invited by the Banns. You may remember (or not) the City Hall could not issue a license to marry.....because of a "problem". We had to go to the "Big City" to NSA as it was then and I believe she saw a relative who works there....and a license was produced. So there you have it. No hard proof of a previous marriage ...just conjecture. But at this moment....I am not officially married. It has not been recorded. She previously denied all allegations of a previous marriage and insisted that our marriage was legal and she had already registered it. I asked her to show the certificate. She never did. This was all during the second separation of 17 days.
Finally....I am back in the dog house. I think she stole some money from me this morning and scammed me of a further 1k. She now has her 3k interest due on the 30k she owes on the other loan. Anyway....that's what I think.
Regards
Oct 12th 2019, 1:12 pm
#3080
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Halfway between Ricard & Absynthe
Posts: 4,291
Re: Me and My Family
I’ve been motivated by previous readers comments such as “Ongoing pulp saga is up for this year's Pulitzer Prize”, and “Now, if this was a movie,who could play the lead roles?”
To follow this up, I propose the suggested scenario for a new look to one of the UK's best-loved sitcoms:-
DelBoy sets up a Trotters Independent Traders (T.I.T) Asian branch on an island some 4 hrs away from the big city. He has the 3-wheeled TrotterMobile exported too, with New York/Paris/Peckham/Manila painted on both sides of the van, announcing he’s finally hit the big time.
His main business is selling hooky jewellery to Little Ladies, as rumour has it they are very easy bait and they can recognise only too well 69 carat gold jewellery when they see it.
Rodney is the company finance manager, and having a basic knowledge of computers (attended a night-school course where he met his future wife) decides to set up an on-line dating service called Trotters Little Ladies Inc. Within the first 6 months of launching the service he is raking in the cash, as the demand is overwhelming from seniors (often from the UK) looking to meet young-ish and (of course) childless Philippine ladies.
Boycie - notorious as the very dodgy Peckham used-car salesman, also sets up a Far-East & Asia branch of his car business called Boyce Tuk-Tuks Ltd, catering to the locals and specialising in tricycles, pedicabs and souped-up habal-habal motorcycle taxis with (true-to-Boycie-style) very dodgy brakes. To impress the locals and other Brit expats, Boycie has had a mock-Tudor beach hut constructed on the seafront, complete with tacky, pink plastic flamingoes on the front lawn. He left his wife Marlene back in UK, not only wanting to get shot of her, but also wanting a taste of the local hottie-totty which the senior expats appear to rave about.
Trigger too, hearing of Dave’s flourishing business venture, opened up his own highways cleaning operation, and surprised everyone by making a small fortune in the first year - such was the appalling state of the highways & byways, and the high demand for major clean-ups. As a sign of his new-found success, he drives a large new Mercedes with the personalised number plate THE1 (Trigger Highways Environmentalist 1), much to the disdain of DelBoy, as the personalised plate cost more than the TrotterMobile itself.
Even Micky Pearce has been given a lot of encouragement to join his mates in this surf & sun 'paradise'. As the majority of locals have no front or rear gardens, there is little call for making a quick buck selling ‘broken lawn-mower engines’, so it’s been suggested that he seriously considers - in these very politically correct times - to set himself up as a Transparency Enhancement Facilitator, aka window-cleaner.
But the true star of the series is a fellow who enjoys nothing more than meeting up with similar ageing expats down at the beach club over a few beers or three. In this idyllic tropical island atmosphere one could be excused for believing that our hero doesn’t have a care in the world. Alas this is not the case, as his presumed wife gives him a wee bit of aggro, which he appears to thrive on, along with his wonderfully thrilling and particularly articulate blog…….
The new Sitcom has yet to be named. OFAE has been suggested, but other propositions are welcomed, on a postcard please c/o this forum.
To follow this up, I propose the suggested scenario for a new look to one of the UK's best-loved sitcoms:-
DelBoy sets up a Trotters Independent Traders (T.I.T) Asian branch on an island some 4 hrs away from the big city. He has the 3-wheeled TrotterMobile exported too, with New York/Paris/Peckham/Manila painted on both sides of the van, announcing he’s finally hit the big time.
His main business is selling hooky jewellery to Little Ladies, as rumour has it they are very easy bait and they can recognise only too well 69 carat gold jewellery when they see it.
Rodney is the company finance manager, and having a basic knowledge of computers (attended a night-school course where he met his future wife) decides to set up an on-line dating service called Trotters Little Ladies Inc. Within the first 6 months of launching the service he is raking in the cash, as the demand is overwhelming from seniors (often from the UK) looking to meet young-ish and (of course) childless Philippine ladies.
Boycie - notorious as the very dodgy Peckham used-car salesman, also sets up a Far-East & Asia branch of his car business called Boyce Tuk-Tuks Ltd, catering to the locals and specialising in tricycles, pedicabs and souped-up habal-habal motorcycle taxis with (true-to-Boycie-style) very dodgy brakes. To impress the locals and other Brit expats, Boycie has had a mock-Tudor beach hut constructed on the seafront, complete with tacky, pink plastic flamingoes on the front lawn. He left his wife Marlene back in UK, not only wanting to get shot of her, but also wanting a taste of the local hottie-totty which the senior expats appear to rave about.
Trigger too, hearing of Dave’s flourishing business venture, opened up his own highways cleaning operation, and surprised everyone by making a small fortune in the first year - such was the appalling state of the highways & byways, and the high demand for major clean-ups. As a sign of his new-found success, he drives a large new Mercedes with the personalised number plate THE1 (Trigger Highways Environmentalist 1), much to the disdain of DelBoy, as the personalised plate cost more than the TrotterMobile itself.
Even Micky Pearce has been given a lot of encouragement to join his mates in this surf & sun 'paradise'. As the majority of locals have no front or rear gardens, there is little call for making a quick buck selling ‘broken lawn-mower engines’, so it’s been suggested that he seriously considers - in these very politically correct times - to set himself up as a Transparency Enhancement Facilitator, aka window-cleaner.
But the true star of the series is a fellow who enjoys nothing more than meeting up with similar ageing expats down at the beach club over a few beers or three. In this idyllic tropical island atmosphere one could be excused for believing that our hero doesn’t have a care in the world. Alas this is not the case, as his presumed wife gives him a wee bit of aggro, which he appears to thrive on, along with his wonderfully thrilling and particularly articulate blog…….
The new Sitcom has yet to be named. OFAE has been suggested, but other propositions are welcomed, on a postcard please c/o this forum.
Last edited by Tweedpipe; Oct 12th 2019 at 2:21 pm.
Oct 12th 2019, 6:45 pm
#3082
Concierge
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 46,388
Re: Me and My Family
I've been away for a few days and have finally caught up with the thread. I am dismayed at the number of jeering and taunting posts that are being directed to P11.
Nowhere in this long saga has he asked for pity or support from contributors. This is his saga. His telling of what life is for him now that he has retired to the Philippines and found a woman to love and subsequently marry. We have given him our emotional and verbal support until recently.. Why the change from the many frequent posters who are contributing to this thread. Is it because he has not done what you or I think he should be doing? Is it because he has not heeded our advice and run from his LL and his misery? Is not that choice his and his alone?
We are not him. He is not us. P11 is entitled to do his own thinking, to feel as only he can feel going through this and to ignore or accept advice and comments at his own discretion. I, for one, do not want to see him hurt further by the atrocious behavior of his LL. I do not know the culture in the Philippines but I know it does not come highly regarded by most of the world.
We are reading his story from his point of view. We have not walked in his shoes. As we haven't, do we have the right to ridicule him? I think not.
Nowhere in this long saga has he asked for pity or support from contributors. This is his saga. His telling of what life is for him now that he has retired to the Philippines and found a woman to love and subsequently marry. We have given him our emotional and verbal support until recently.. Why the change from the many frequent posters who are contributing to this thread. Is it because he has not done what you or I think he should be doing? Is it because he has not heeded our advice and run from his LL and his misery? Is not that choice his and his alone?
We are not him. He is not us. P11 is entitled to do his own thinking, to feel as only he can feel going through this and to ignore or accept advice and comments at his own discretion. I, for one, do not want to see him hurt further by the atrocious behavior of his LL. I do not know the culture in the Philippines but I know it does not come highly regarded by most of the world.
We are reading his story from his point of view. We have not walked in his shoes. As we haven't, do we have the right to ridicule him? I think not.
Oct 12th 2019, 9:26 pm
#3083
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: Italy
Posts: 2,669
Re: Me and My Family
I've been away for a few days and have finally caught up with the thread. I am dismayed at the number of jeering and taunting posts that are being directed to P11.
Nowhere in this long saga has he asked for pity or support from contributors. This is his saga. His telling of what life is for him now that he has retired to the Philippines and found a woman to love and subsequently marry. We have given him our emotional and verbal support until recently.. Why the change from the many frequent posters who are contributing to this thread. Is it because he has not done what you or I think he should be doing? Is it because he has not heeded our advice and run from his LL and his misery? Is not that choice his and his alone?
We are not him. He is not us. P11 is entitled to do his own thinking, to feel as only he can feel going through this and to ignore or accept advice and comments at his own discretion. I, for one, do not want to see him hurt further by the atrocious behavior of his LL. I do not know the culture in the Philippines but I know it does not come highly regarded by most of the world.
We are reading his story from his point of view. We have not walked in his shoes. As we haven't, do we have the right to ridicule him? I think not.
Nowhere in this long saga has he asked for pity or support from contributors. This is his saga. His telling of what life is for him now that he has retired to the Philippines and found a woman to love and subsequently marry. We have given him our emotional and verbal support until recently.. Why the change from the many frequent posters who are contributing to this thread. Is it because he has not done what you or I think he should be doing? Is it because he has not heeded our advice and run from his LL and his misery? Is not that choice his and his alone?
We are not him. He is not us. P11 is entitled to do his own thinking, to feel as only he can feel going through this and to ignore or accept advice and comments at his own discretion. I, for one, do not want to see him hurt further by the atrocious behavior of his LL. I do not know the culture in the Philippines but I know it does not come highly regarded by most of the world.
We are reading his story from his point of view. We have not walked in his shoes. As we haven't, do we have the right to ridicule him? I think not.
Oct 12th 2019, 9:45 pm
#3084
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: Suffolk UK
Posts: 1,179
Re: Me and My Family
Why am I in the dog house? Lets put it this way....it is never her fault and her best form of defence is attack. She is treated like a maid and has no money in her opinion. This is when I contested a monthly bill for our TV and load for her phone. It was high (1200...TV is only 200 pm) because we had not paid for a couple of months. I proved her wrong. This was about an hour after I said about 700 peso was missing from my pocket.
Moving on...
I have checked the PSA web site again and you cannot check the marital status on line. A personal appearance is required. As far as I am aware, all marriages ...similar to deaths and births etc must be registered personally with the PSA. Likewise, checks on marital status must be made personally.
Regards
Moving on...
I have checked the PSA web site again and you cannot check the marital status on line. A personal appearance is required. As far as I am aware, all marriages ...similar to deaths and births etc must be registered personally with the PSA. Likewise, checks on marital status must be made personally.
Regards
Oct 12th 2019, 9:46 pm
#3085
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2014
Location: Marikina Philippines
Posts: 885
Re: Me and My Family
P11/
You wrote
This is incorrect. The Original place of marriage registration ie: City Hall automatically pass on the information and a copy of the Marriage Certificate to PSA.
What you can do is to apply for the PSA certificate online for a modest fee. I have done so recently an easy process. If no certificate is forthcoming or there is an alert message then you will know for sure.
Good luck and keep safe.
You wrote
"As far as I am aware, all marriages ...similar to deaths and births etc must be registered personally with the PSA. Likewise, checks on marital status must be made personally."
What you can do is to apply for the PSA certificate online for a modest fee. I have done so recently an easy process. If no certificate is forthcoming or there is an alert message then you will know for sure.
Good luck and keep safe.
Oct 12th 2019, 10:30 pm
#3086
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
P11/
You wrote
"As far as I am aware, all marriages ...similar to deaths and births etc must be registered personally with the PSA. Likewise, checks on marital status must be made personally."
This is incorrect. The Original place of marriage registration ie: City Hall automatically pass on the information and a copy of the Marriage Certificate to PSA.
What you can do is to apply for the PSA certificate online for a modest fee. I have done so recently an easy process. If no certificate is forthcoming or there is an alert message then you will know for sure.
Good luck and keep safe.
You wrote
"As far as I am aware, all marriages ...similar to deaths and births etc must be registered personally with the PSA. Likewise, checks on marital status must be made personally."
This is incorrect. The Original place of marriage registration ie: City Hall automatically pass on the information and a copy of the Marriage Certificate to PSA.
What you can do is to apply for the PSA certificate online for a modest fee. I have done so recently an easy process. If no certificate is forthcoming or there is an alert message then you will know for sure.
Good luck and keep safe.
Regards
Last edited by Philosophical 11; Oct 12th 2019 at 10:34 pm.
Oct 12th 2019, 11:02 pm
#3087
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: Suffolk UK
Posts: 1,179
Re: Me and My Family
You should already have a copy of the original, I think we all signed multiple copies at the ceremony. If you need to supply a copy for say a passport application only an authenticated copy from the PSA is acceptable. They do not accept to original as it can easily be faked.
Oct 12th 2019, 11:26 pm
#3089
In the pink
Joined: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 3,324
Re: Me and My Family
It had crossed my mind a little while ago whether you were legally married. Remember your wedding, with all of her excitement, and all of her family were no shows. It seemed weird to me that such a close family would not attend their daughter/siblings wedding. Maybe they know more than you do. Why not ask her parents?
Oct 12th 2019, 11:30 pm
#3090
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Feb 2014
Location: Marikina Philippines
Posts: 885
Re: Me and My Family
Originally Posted by Mallory
,
"Maybe they know more than you do. Why not ask her parents?"
"Maybe they know more than you do. Why not ask her parents?"
This is the Philippines. Nobody comes between the family, especially foreigner in-laws.