Me and My Family

Old Oct 12th 2019, 8:23 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11
I have no idea what the condition is, but I believe it is abnormal even compared to some stories I have heard here. Maybe it would be easier to understand if she caught me having an affair, or arriving home drunk and beating her but that is not the case. One of the most un-nerving aspects when she has had a rage or physically restrained is that she appears to go into a trance when laying or sitting down. Her eyes are wide open hardly blinking for perhaps 10-15 mins.then falls asleep apparently mentally/physically exhausted. She is oblivious to anything during her trance like period and does not respond to anything I say or do. To describe it better.....it seems as though her brain has seized up.

When she lies, she appears to believe her own stories....almost as though she is not living in reality. She can be a manipulator and devious almost as though it was the norm. All this has manifested itself in the last year or so. A Walter Mitty character also. Does not live in the real world but in another world devoid from reality. One reason perhaps why she has effectively dis-owned her 4 kids. Someone mentioned a little while back that skin whitening products can harm the brain. She had a course of injections a year or so back. But this is all conjecture.

Moving on.....a big revelation.

I have a St Peters plan which takes care of funeral expenses etc if I kick the bucket. It expired end of September. When I took it out 2 yrs ago (9k pa) it was in my wifes name, but the benefactor was her elder sister (Waddly). I could not understand why this is so. My name should be on there somewhere. I was told that the benefactor was interchangeable, and the policy applies to both the policy holder and benefactor. When it was renewed last year, I asked the agent to provide a policy with my name on it. She agreed and I paid a small fee to have an amendment made to the policy. I never saw the amended policy. I decided then that when it was due for renewal, I would go to the main office in the "little big city" and renew it there. And ask questions.

I did that yesterday. I found that the policy had not been changed. Also, because I was outside the age limit to hold the policy, I could only be a benefactor. Remember, the policy is applicable to both policy holder and benefactor, if I understand it correctly. Now to change the benefactor, it would take about a month. Imagine the scenario...I died peacefully in my sleep and my wife would not receive any benefits until the policy change had been made. So...what would she do? Most probably contact one of my siblings and ask for funeral expenses. I will leave the rest of that to your imagination.

Now, to put me on the policy, we require ID's and a certificate of marriage. My wife told me....We do NOT have a certificate of marriage. But we can get one from City Hall.....although I thought it was from PSA. That was a bombshell to me. We are not officially married...it has not been recorded as such. I think she let slip her secret. There was speculation a while back that she was already married to a guy in Manila where she had 2 daughters. The father of her two boys wanted to marry her, but could not. Because she was married. When the Banns went up in the City Hall prior to our marriage, the father of the two boys wanted to speak to me. I refused. I passed a message to him that if he had objections to our marriage, he should do so as invited by the Banns. You may remember (or not) the City Hall could not issue a license to marry.....because of a "problem". We had to go to the "Big City" to NSA as it was then and I believe she saw a relative who works there....and a license was produced. So there you have it. No hard proof of a previous marriage ...just conjecture. But at this moment....I am not officially married. It has not been recorded. She previously denied all allegations of a previous marriage and insisted that our marriage was legal and she had already registered it. I asked her to show the certificate. She never did. This was all during the second separation of 17 days.

Finally....I am back in the dog house. I think she stole some money from me this morning and scammed me of a further 1k. She now has her 3k interest due on the 30k she owes on the other loan. Anyway....that's what I think.

Regards
Regarding your penultimate paragraph, and the apparent scam marriage, you should if nothing else now have a devilish smirk on your face and celebrating the potential change of life-saving scenario with a glass of champagne. You may well have slipped the noose restraining you to the doghouse from hell.
Notwithstanding the multitude warnings of an impending marriage made in hell, you made the true-to-form jump from the frying pan into the fire, and if that wasn't hot enough for you, you chose the devil's daughter as a partner. But we've known from the early posts of this saga that you thrive on punishment, and nothing we say will change that. It could have been another humorous, totally heart-warming episode from the Carry On series, but instead it's turned into a heart-wrenching 'Carry On Phil Regardless' thriller.

Last edited by Tweedpipe; Oct 12th 2019 at 8:27 am.
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Old Oct 12th 2019, 8:32 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11
I have no idea what the condition is, but I believe it is abnormal even compared to some stories I have heard here. Maybe it would be easier to understand if she caught me having an affair, or arriving home drunk and beating her but that is not the case. One of the most un-nerving aspects when she has had a rage or physically restrained is that she appears to go into a trance when laying or sitting down. Her eyes are wide open hardly blinking for perhaps 10-15 mins.then falls asleep apparently mentally/physically exhausted. She is oblivious to anything during her trance like period and does not respond to anything I say or do. To describe it better.....it seems as though her brain has seized up.

When she lies, she appears to believe her own stories....almost as though she is not living in reality. She can be a manipulator and devious almost as though it was the norm. All this has manifested itself in the last year or so. A Walter Mitty character also. Does not live in the real world but in another world devoid from reality. One reason perhaps why she has effectively dis-owned her 4 kids. Someone mentioned a little while back that skin whitening products can harm the brain. She had a course of injections a year or so back. But this is all conjecture.

Moving on.....a big revelation.

I have a St Peters plan which takes care of funeral expenses etc if I kick the bucket. It expired end of September. When I took it out 2 yrs ago (9k pa) it was in my wifes name, but the benefactor was her elder sister (Waddly). I could not understand why this is so. My name should be on there somewhere. I was told that the benefactor was interchangeable, and the policy applies to both the policy holder and benefactor. When it was renewed last year, I asked the agent to provide a policy with my name on it. She agreed and I paid a small fee to have an amendment made to the policy. I never saw the amended policy. I decided then that when it was due for renewal, I would go to the main office in the "little big city" and renew it there. And ask questions.

I did that yesterday. I found that the policy had not been changed. Also, because I was outside the age limit to hold the policy, I could only be a benefactor. Remember, the policy is applicable to both policy holder and benefactor, if I understand it correctly. Now to change the benefactor, it would take about a month. Imagine the scenario...I died peacefully in my sleep and my wife would not receive any benefits until the policy change had been made. So...what would she do? Most probably contact one of my siblings and ask for funeral expenses. I will leave the rest of that to your imagination.

Now, to put me on the policy, we require ID's and a certificate of marriage. My wife told me....We do NOT have a certificate of marriage. But we can get one from City Hall.....although I thought it was from PSA. That was a bombshell to me. We are not officially married...it has not been recorded as such. I think she let slip her secret. There was speculation a while back that she was already married to a guy in Manila where she had 2 daughters. The father of her two boys wanted to marry her, but could not. Because she was married. When the Banns went up in the City Hall prior to our marriage, the father of the two boys wanted to speak to me. I refused. I passed a message to him that if he had objections to our marriage, he should do so as invited by the Banns. You may remember (or not) the City Hall could not issue a license to marry.....because of a "problem". We had to go to the "Big City" to NSA as it was then and I believe she saw a relative who works there....and a license was produced. So there you have it. No hard proof of a previous marriage ...just conjecture. But at this moment....I am not officially married. It has not been recorded. She previously denied all allegations of a previous marriage and insisted that our marriage was legal and she had already registered it. I asked her to show the certificate. She never did. This was all during the second separation of 17 days.

Finally....I am back in the dog house. I think she stole some money from me this morning and scammed me of a further 1k. She now has her 3k interest due on the 30k she owes on the other loan. Anyway....that's what I think.

Regards
pathological liar, narcissist springs to mind.

Crack open the bubbly!! You've had a right result. No longer liable for any debts accrued during marriage either.
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Old Oct 12th 2019, 8:38 am
  #3063  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by nonthaburi
pathological liar, narcissist springs to mind.

Crack open the bubbly!! You've had a right result. No longer liable for any debts accrued during marriage either.
I thought the same! What an accidental bullet dodge.
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Old Oct 12th 2019, 8:41 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

P11. I am not trying to belittle you, or make rash statements, but I have to ask How much more of frauds, lies, and deceit can you take . I have always thought you are a sraight forward honest well meaningful person, but unfortunatly you have been seduced by the wrong wife (?). I certainly do not want you to end up as another statistic of a foriegner ‘got taken in ‘ ends up feeling cheated , and unhappy.
Make that move NOW.

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Old Oct 12th 2019, 8:46 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Tweedpipe
It could have been another humorous, totally heart-warming episode from the Carry On series, but instead it's turned into a heart-wrenching 'Carry On Phil Regardless' thriller.
Let's hope it doesn't turn into a "Who shot JR P11" saga.
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Old Oct 12th 2019, 9:16 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Tweedpipe
Regarding your penultimate paragraph, and the apparent scam marriage, you should if nothing else now have a devilish smirk on your face and celebrating the potential change of life-saving scenario with a glass of champagne. You may well have slipped the noose restraining you to the doghouse from hell.
Notwithstanding the multitude warnings of an impending marriage made in hell, you made the true-to-form jump from the frying pan into the fire, and if that wasn't hot enough for you, you chose the devil's daughter as a partner. But we've known from the early posts of this saga that you thrive on punishment, and nothing we say will change that. It could have been another humorous, totally heart-warming episode from the Carry On series, but instead it's turned into a heart-wrenching 'Carry On Phil Regardless' thriller.
Scam marriage....

I cannot see any reason why she has not registered the marriage. It is an easy process....unless of course it is not legit. If it is legit, then there is no reason why she cannot have it registered now. We will see....

She has spent the last few days primarily with her best mate and I have hardly seen her. This morning, she left the house looking very sad and perhaps had been crying. Most odd, she normally marches out in that familiar angry march. Perhaps she knows the game is up. Sorry that she let slip the secret....

Regards
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Old Oct 12th 2019, 9:43 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11
Scam marriage....

I cannot see any reason why she has not registered the marriage. It is an easy process....unless of course it is not legit. If it is legit, then there is no reason why she cannot have it registered now. We will see....

She has spent the last few days primarily with her best mate and I have hardly seen her. This morning, she left the house looking very sad and perhaps had been crying. Most odd, she normally marches out in that familiar angry march. Perhaps she knows the game is up. Sorry that she let slip the secret....

Regards
if she is already married ( to one of the Fathers ?) Then she will obviously not be able to register another marriage. Or is that just too simple ?
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Old Oct 12th 2019, 9:51 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

P11
"Now, to put me on the policy, we require ID's and a certificate of marriage. My wife told me....We do NOT have a certificate of marriage. But we can get one from City Hall.....although I thought it was from PSA. That was a bombshell to me. We are not officially married...it has not been recorded as such."
Have you tried to contact PSA online to establish that there is no record of your marriage?
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Old Oct 12th 2019, 9:59 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by bestvue
if she is already married ( to one of the Fathers ?) Then she will obviously not be able to register another marriage. Or is that just too simple ?
Correct... It is that simple. Also it is illegal to remarry whilst married. An annulment is required.
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Old Oct 12th 2019, 10:02 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

P11. Why not play her at her own deceiving ways. Tell her you want to apply for a 13a visa ( it does have advantages,but costs about 24k , 2 x 12k). The documents required involve deffinite proof of marriage. We had much difficulty in getting our marriage certificate authenticated eventhough we had a UK apostille certificate. In the end we had to send it to the Philippine embassy in the UK for authentication. We were then given a Red Ribbon marriage certificate which was accepted. Note we were married in the UK. The BI are very strict , unlike the local Town hall etc.
Your wife must write a letter inviting you to apply for a 13a visa............should be interesting when you ask her for the above documents and proposal letter.
Easier, just Go to the NSO ( PSA) and check your marriage IS registered.
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Old Oct 12th 2019, 10:02 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Bealinehx
P11
"Now, to put me on the policy, we require ID's and a certificate of marriage. My wife told me....We do NOT have a certificate of marriage. But we can get one from City Hall.....although I thought it was from PSA. That was a bombshell to me. We are not officially married...it has not been recorded as such."
Have you tried to contact PSA online to establish that there is no record of your marriage?
Dont think you can. Will check again later

Thanks
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Old Oct 12th 2019, 10:05 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11
Correct... It is that simple. Also it is illegal to remarry whilst married. An annulment is required.
An anullment is expensive, especialy for a debt ridden Filipino.
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Old Oct 12th 2019, 10:07 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

How can the marriage not be registered, The registrar registers the marriage and sends the document of to I think it was the NSO, possibly changed their name in recent years. It takes several month for it to be recorded and you should be able to request a copy online.
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Old Oct 12th 2019, 10:35 am
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Default Re: Me and My Family

Originally Posted by mikek1
19k is 10% of 191k so my maths is correct. Dispite what you say, 10% per month is very high, especialy between good friends and relatives. Yes I know about 5/6 etc, but usually the amounts lent are very small in comparison to 191k. I do not know of many who would lend ,or are capable to lend that amount. If I were you I would insist on proof that the loan was even made, I take it you did not even see the ready cash.

I'd also ask where the agreements are with the people she lent the money to. Who are they (supposedly friends who absconded), their family, etc. Go talk to them to see if any loan was made and if they are paying some money back to your wife. You may be surprised at the answers. Are they receiving any benefits from the loans? Are they willing to make at least some restitution? Or do they deny everything? Or claim that they ARE paying back the loan?

also RE. the Marriage certificates. Try to obtain ALL marriage certificates and annulments in her name. They may provide context at least. Maybe also do a search for her criminal records.

She may have a history long before you arrived on the scene.

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Old Oct 12th 2019, 11:24 am
  #3075  
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Default Re: Me and My Family

The only thing he needs to to is pack a suitcase and head to the airport.
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