Me and My Family
Sep 23rd 2019, 9:02 am
#2536
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: Me and My Family
I don't think the people on this thread who thought the worst (including myself) are 'doom and gloomers'. I think they could just see what unfortunately you couldn't. Sounds like the rose tinted glasses are being taken off now though, I'm sorry for that but in all honesty I'm quite glad that you might finally get yourself out of this situation.
I hope you have people around you that can support you and give you a sounding board in the weeks/months ahead, as well as BE of course.
Good luck.
I hope you have people around you that can support you and give you a sounding board in the weeks/months ahead, as well as BE of course.
Good luck.
Sep 23rd 2019, 9:12 am
#2537
Concierge
Joined: Jan 2013
Location: Western Australia
Posts: 21,139
Re: Me and My Family
I don't think the people on this thread who thought the worst (including myself) are 'doom and gloomers'. I think they could just see what unfortunately you couldn't. Sounds like the rose tinted glasses are being taken off now though, I'm sorry for that but in all honesty I'm quite glad that you might finally get yourself out of this situation.
I hope you have people around you that can support you and give you a sounding board in the weeks/months ahead, as well as BE of course.
Good luck.
I hope you have people around you that can support you and give you a sounding board in the weeks/months ahead, as well as BE of course.
Good luck.
Sep 23rd 2019, 9:55 am
#2538
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,013
Re: Me and My Family
Greetings....
Well....I think the "doom and gloomers" are correct. The last couple of weeks or so have not been in the best of marital harmony and I believe she has mostly probably engaged in a scam against me for 15k. This involves the 2 debts I have already outlined for 30 and 11k with the same person and will certainly impact on the 19k pm interest due later this month. I believe I have proof of the scam which will be revealed to her when the 19k is due and I reckon the you know what will hit the fan in a big way. Its looking terminal now. It is a very cunning (devious) scam and will reveal tomorrow most probably, but I want to deal briefly with other things first.....But if I am right, the 19k will not be paid on her behalf which will create all sorts of problems and I can see a big escalation to our problems.
The dog has had pups a couple of days ago. 4 were born and one was sadly still-born. Father is a street dog I think. It was on her first heat unfortunately but she is coping well. My wife inadvertently left the door open.....then the gate whilst chin wagging to the next door neighbor. I failed to see her go out of the door......so of course it was my fault,
Saw father-in-law a few days ago sporting a brand new mobile. 15k it costs he said proudly....at 1.25k pm. And I am paying his rent and meds......
She has been out gallivanting quite often coming in late. Birthday parties...wakes....etc. Being on my own during the evening, I nip down to the beach for a few beers which she does not like. On one occasion, I appeared unannounced at a local Brgy festival where I knew she was. She and her mates saw me first and I got a text from her demanding to know why I was there. Spying apparently. Cue her sleeping in the spare bedroom for a few days. Did the same the next night but with a mate. Got chatting to a group of people one of which unknown to me to be the local Brgy bike. Obviously she thought we were soliciting and cue a few more days in the dog house. And addressed by her as a "dirty old man".
On my birthday, all I received from her was a cold shoulder. She was still living in the spare bedroom. Went to the beach to my local resto bar where the staff chorused me with happy birthday and one of the girls bought me a beer. She decorated it accordingly bless her. That touched me. Next day I sent her a thankyou msg which the wife spotted and now I am accused of having a gf.
We were going to have a small wedding anniversary party at home with close friends earlier this month. She had ordered a cake as well. For no reason, she cancelled it. I saw no cake either. Nor wedding gift. I got her one....and what a disappointing story that is. In the past 18 months or so she she has lost/thrown away/ or whatever 4 or 5 wedding/engagement rings. She wanted another one as an anniversary gift. Stupidity I relented but got the price down from 10 to 7k. I made her promise that it will be given to her on the our anniversary day. About a week before, I mentioned I had not seen the package arrive. But it had....and she was wearing the ring. Didn't hear a thank you. But I suspect that could have been a scam. I don't recognize one ring from another.....
Now....perhaps the most damming which rocked me with her lie. Couple of days ago, we were still living separately in the same house, I knew her 2 kids weekly allowance was due. So, I placed 500 peso on the table so she could see it and there was no need for her to ask. It was there the next day. The following day, when we were back together, I noticed the money had gone and asked if she had picked it up. No....she hadn't and was adamant about it. No-one has been in the house except us. Guess the dog ate it, or it blew out of the window. Cant think of any other reason.....can you?
Regards
Well....I think the "doom and gloomers" are correct. The last couple of weeks or so have not been in the best of marital harmony and I believe she has mostly probably engaged in a scam against me for 15k. This involves the 2 debts I have already outlined for 30 and 11k with the same person and will certainly impact on the 19k pm interest due later this month. I believe I have proof of the scam which will be revealed to her when the 19k is due and I reckon the you know what will hit the fan in a big way. Its looking terminal now. It is a very cunning (devious) scam and will reveal tomorrow most probably, but I want to deal briefly with other things first.....But if I am right, the 19k will not be paid on her behalf which will create all sorts of problems and I can see a big escalation to our problems.
The dog has had pups a couple of days ago. 4 were born and one was sadly still-born. Father is a street dog I think. It was on her first heat unfortunately but she is coping well. My wife inadvertently left the door open.....then the gate whilst chin wagging to the next door neighbor. I failed to see her go out of the door......so of course it was my fault,
Saw father-in-law a few days ago sporting a brand new mobile. 15k it costs he said proudly....at 1.25k pm. And I am paying his rent and meds......
She has been out gallivanting quite often coming in late. Birthday parties...wakes....etc. Being on my own during the evening, I nip down to the beach for a few beers which she does not like. On one occasion, I appeared unannounced at a local Brgy festival where I knew she was. She and her mates saw me first and I got a text from her demanding to know why I was there. Spying apparently. Cue her sleeping in the spare bedroom for a few days. Did the same the next night but with a mate. Got chatting to a group of people one of which unknown to me to be the local Brgy bike. Obviously she thought we were soliciting and cue a few more days in the dog house. And addressed by her as a "dirty old man".
On my birthday, all I received from her was a cold shoulder. She was still living in the spare bedroom. Went to the beach to my local resto bar where the staff chorused me with happy birthday and one of the girls bought me a beer. She decorated it accordingly bless her. That touched me. Next day I sent her a thankyou msg which the wife spotted and now I am accused of having a gf.
We were going to have a small wedding anniversary party at home with close friends earlier this month. She had ordered a cake as well. For no reason, she cancelled it. I saw no cake either. Nor wedding gift. I got her one....and what a disappointing story that is. In the past 18 months or so she she has lost/thrown away/ or whatever 4 or 5 wedding/engagement rings. She wanted another one as an anniversary gift. Stupidity I relented but got the price down from 10 to 7k. I made her promise that it will be given to her on the our anniversary day. About a week before, I mentioned I had not seen the package arrive. But it had....and she was wearing the ring. Didn't hear a thank you. But I suspect that could have been a scam. I don't recognize one ring from another.....
Now....perhaps the most damming which rocked me with her lie. Couple of days ago, we were still living separately in the same house, I knew her 2 kids weekly allowance was due. So, I placed 500 peso on the table so she could see it and there was no need for her to ask. It was there the next day. The following day, when we were back together, I noticed the money had gone and asked if she had picked it up. No....she hadn't and was adamant about it. No-one has been in the house except us. Guess the dog ate it, or it blew out of the window. Cant think of any other reason.....can you?
Regards
All the best.
Sep 23rd 2019, 10:03 am
#2539
Just Joined
Joined: Jan 2015
Location: Hameln, Germany
Posts: 6
Re: Me and My Family
Dear P11,
I have been following this thread for a good couple of years now and even though you have pushed back at all the naysayers all this time I REALLY hope that you now finally do what is urgently needed; RUN!
Put all your documents and valuables in one small rucksack/shoulder bag, and enough clothes for 1 week into another bag, and put them somewhere she will not look.
Then when she goes out for whatever reason tomorrow or the day after, simply go!
Get a cab to the nearest port or bus station and get yourself away to - firstly the next island, and after that - to the other side of PH.
I do not think you need to leave the country. Just go somewhere far away from her and her family and start fresh.
If you think that she will go to the police and try to frame you with something, anything - then jump straight on a plane to Thailand, Vietnam or Cambodia.
Don't think about it. Just do it. When you start thinking, you tend to convince your self things/she is not as bad as it first seemed! It IS! Stop being a sap and run.
Even with your reduced income you can still live an OK life in one of the other countries.
Just don't get involved in a relationship. You are not a good reader of people!
Sorry for some harsh words but you need them, and you deserve them!
I REALLY wish you the best, and DON'T drop us a line for 6 months until the coast is completely clear.
You never know who reads these forums!
All the best
Andy
I have been following this thread for a good couple of years now and even though you have pushed back at all the naysayers all this time I REALLY hope that you now finally do what is urgently needed; RUN!
Put all your documents and valuables in one small rucksack/shoulder bag, and enough clothes for 1 week into another bag, and put them somewhere she will not look.
Then when she goes out for whatever reason tomorrow or the day after, simply go!
Get a cab to the nearest port or bus station and get yourself away to - firstly the next island, and after that - to the other side of PH.
I do not think you need to leave the country. Just go somewhere far away from her and her family and start fresh.
If you think that she will go to the police and try to frame you with something, anything - then jump straight on a plane to Thailand, Vietnam or Cambodia.
Don't think about it. Just do it. When you start thinking, you tend to convince your self things/she is not as bad as it first seemed! It IS! Stop being a sap and run.
Even with your reduced income you can still live an OK life in one of the other countries.
Just don't get involved in a relationship. You are not a good reader of people!
Sorry for some harsh words but you need them, and you deserve them!
I REALLY wish you the best, and DON'T drop us a line for 6 months until the coast is completely clear.
You never know who reads these forums!
All the best
Andy
Sep 23rd 2019, 10:10 am
#2540
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2014
Location: Capiz
Posts: 1,646
Re: Me and My Family
The dog has had pups a couple of days ago. 4 were born and one was sadly still-born. Father is a street dog I think. It was on her first heat unfortunately but she is coping well. My wife inadvertently left the door open.....then the gate whilst chin wagging to the next door neighbor. I failed to see her go out of the door......so of course it was my fault,
Must be getting crowded in the kennel what with the dog, 4 puppies and you.
Sep 23rd 2019, 10:36 am
#2541
Lowering the tone
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Here and there
Posts: 7,349
Re: Me and My Family
Sound like the penny has finally dropped, P11.
Now all you need to do is extricate yourself from this nightmare as quickly as possible while you've still got a penny or two to drop. Make sure you get out before they wise up to your plans... you wouldn't be the first "old man who must have fallen down the stairs after a few beers".
Now all you need to do is extricate yourself from this nightmare as quickly as possible while you've still got a penny or two to drop. Make sure you get out before they wise up to your plans... you wouldn't be the first "old man who must have fallen down the stairs after a few beers".
Sep 23rd 2019, 11:58 am
#2543
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 466
Re: Me and My Family
Just go without anyone knowing. Do not pay out anymore money, or her debts ( they are not your debts). You have done nothing wrong except being to accommodating, easy going, and worst of all believing your wife’s lies.
There are many places in the Philippines that would suit your needs and budget. There is no need to leave the Philippines, however just to be on the safe side it may pay to clarify your immigration and possible trumped up accusations with a good indeed attorney.
There are many places in the Philippines that would suit your needs and budget. There is no need to leave the Philippines, however just to be on the safe side it may pay to clarify your immigration and possible trumped up accusations with a good indeed attorney.
Sep 23rd 2019, 12:19 pm
#2544
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2014
Location: Capiz
Posts: 1,646
Re: Me and My Family
When you do run for it, take all and every bit of paper with your signature on it so that no one can copy it ( inc wedding certs ). Also when you go take your SIM card out of your phone.
Sep 23rd 2019, 1:05 pm
#2548
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
Greetings...
Thanks for all your responses so far. They were surprisingly better than I expected.
I wish to comment on a couple of things raised so far....
As previously mentioned, I am loathe to leave this area which I love but will very reluctantly do so if life becomes untenable or indeed unsafe. I am reminded of a private msg I received only a few months after arriving here which I showed to my wife. It is documented somewhere in the early pages. Basically it is from a woman who stated that my lovely lady told her at the time that she was going to try and extract as much money out of me and then leave me. She scoffed at it and we put it down to a green-eyed monster. 4 yrs later this msg could be coming true. If it is true, she will leave me in peace. I can stay here and start again.
She still owes 191k and 30k from this new creditor. Both loan agreements are illegal and so are the interest rates. I am told it will not stand up in any local Brgy or Judicial Court. The agreements carry her signature only and before we were married.....so maybe I am legally free of her debts.
Finally, she has I believe scammed me of 15k (more later). I have not accused her of that because she states that she will repay once she receives from her customer. I have told her that unless I receive the monies I will be unable to pay the 19k interest due on the 28th of this month. This creditor has previously stated that she wants the full capital repaid in full asap and a default will no doubt cement that desire. So the pressure is on her. If she defaults with lame excuses, I will then present proof of the scam. Then I am sure there will be fireworks...
Just picked up MikeK1 response. She is due to commence work proper at the end of the month now she has finished training. She will get paid on either 15/30 each month. I assume that is when she will get her payment next month. But I have a nagging doubt about the job. Why? Because she has not asked me for the rental of her her apartment for the past two months in the big city where she is working. Which is most strange.
I have not ruled out a secret bf btw
Regards
Thanks for all your responses so far. They were surprisingly better than I expected.
I wish to comment on a couple of things raised so far....
As previously mentioned, I am loathe to leave this area which I love but will very reluctantly do so if life becomes untenable or indeed unsafe. I am reminded of a private msg I received only a few months after arriving here which I showed to my wife. It is documented somewhere in the early pages. Basically it is from a woman who stated that my lovely lady told her at the time that she was going to try and extract as much money out of me and then leave me. She scoffed at it and we put it down to a green-eyed monster. 4 yrs later this msg could be coming true. If it is true, she will leave me in peace. I can stay here and start again.
She still owes 191k and 30k from this new creditor. Both loan agreements are illegal and so are the interest rates. I am told it will not stand up in any local Brgy or Judicial Court. The agreements carry her signature only and before we were married.....so maybe I am legally free of her debts.
Finally, she has I believe scammed me of 15k (more later). I have not accused her of that because she states that she will repay once she receives from her customer. I have told her that unless I receive the monies I will be unable to pay the 19k interest due on the 28th of this month. This creditor has previously stated that she wants the full capital repaid in full asap and a default will no doubt cement that desire. So the pressure is on her. If she defaults with lame excuses, I will then present proof of the scam. Then I am sure there will be fireworks...
Just picked up MikeK1 response. She is due to commence work proper at the end of the month now she has finished training. She will get paid on either 15/30 each month. I assume that is when she will get her payment next month. But I have a nagging doubt about the job. Why? Because she has not asked me for the rental of her her apartment for the past two months in the big city where she is working. Which is most strange.
I have not ruled out a secret bf btw
Regards
Last edited by Philosophical 11; Sep 23rd 2019 at 1:18 pm.
Sep 23rd 2019, 1:10 pm
#2549
SUPER MODERATOR
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 88,022
Re: Me and My Family
Greetings...
Thanks for all your responses so far. They were surprisingly better than I expected.
I wish to comment on a couple of things raised so far....
As previously mentioned, I am loathe to leave this area which I love but will very reluctantly do so if life becomes untenable or indeed unsafe. I am reminded of a private msg I received only a few months after arriving here which I showed to my wife. It is documented somewhere in the early pages. Basically it is from a woman who stated that my lovely lady told her at the time that she was going to try and extract as much money out of me and then leave me. She scoffed at it and we put it down to a green-eyed monster. 4 yrs later this msg could be coming true. If it is true, she will leave me in peace. I can stay here and start again.
She still owes 191k and 30k from this new creditor. Both loan agreements are illegal and so are the interest rates. I am told it will not stand up in any local Brgy or Judicial Court. The agreements carry her signature only and before we were married.....so maybe I am legally free of her debts.
Finally, she has I believe scammed me of 15k (more later). I have not accused her of that because she states that she will repay once she receives from her customer. I have told her that unless I receive the monies I will be unable to pay the 19k interest due on the 28th of this month. This creditor has previously stated that she wants the full capital repaid in full asap and a default will no doubt cement that desire. So the pressure is on her. If she defaults with lame excuses, I will then present proof of the scam. Then I am sure there will be fireworks...
Regards
Thanks for all your responses so far. They were surprisingly better than I expected.
I wish to comment on a couple of things raised so far....
As previously mentioned, I am loathe to leave this area which I love but will very reluctantly do so if life becomes untenable or indeed unsafe. I am reminded of a private msg I received only a few months after arriving here which I showed to my wife. It is documented somewhere in the early pages. Basically it is from a woman who stated that my lovely lady told her at the time that she was going to try and extract as much money out of me and then leave me. She scoffed at it and we put it down to a green-eyed monster. 4 yrs later this msg could be coming true. If it is true, she will leave me in peace. I can stay here and start again.
She still owes 191k and 30k from this new creditor. Both loan agreements are illegal and so are the interest rates. I am told it will not stand up in any local Brgy or Judicial Court. The agreements carry her signature only and before we were married.....so maybe I am legally free of her debts.
Finally, she has I believe scammed me of 15k (more later). I have not accused her of that because she states that she will repay once she receives from her customer. I have told her that unless I receive the monies I will be unable to pay the 19k interest due on the 28th of this month. This creditor has previously stated that she wants the full capital repaid in full asap and a default will no doubt cement that desire. So the pressure is on her. If she defaults with lame excuses, I will then present proof of the scam. Then I am sure there will be fireworks...
Regards
I really, really wish you would take our advice and get out now, without her knowing. Also cover your bases with regard to her using your signature for your pension etc. you have been given excellent advice...please take it.
Sep 23rd 2019, 1:15 pm
#2550
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2014
Location: Philippines
Posts: 1,853
Re: Me and My Family
JG....
Thanks. I have added something to my last post which you may not have seen.
Don't think she can bleed me dry...I have two incomes. Not living on savings.
Regards
Thanks. I have added something to my last post which you may not have seen.
Don't think she can bleed me dry...I have two incomes. Not living on savings.
Regards