Me and My Family
#2431
Re: Me and My Family
I think those saying that western women would not leave their kids for someone else to look after have not met half of modern day mothers. Especially the poor ones where, in fact, no one looks after the kids.
My guess is that the average age of posters here is around 50 and that they are reasonably well educated and reasonably affluent. Take a trip to the job centre on a Tuesday and go see the real world.
I don't judge the LL for kids. I know loads of pinoys all in the same shitty situation.
My guess is that the average age of posters here is around 50 and that they are reasonably well educated and reasonably affluent. Take a trip to the job centre on a Tuesday and go see the real world.
I don't judge the LL for kids. I know loads of pinoys all in the same shitty situation.
#2432
Re: Me and My Family
I think those saying that western women would not leave their kids for someone else to look after have not met half of modern day mothers. Especially the poor ones where, in fact, no one looks after the kids.
My guess is that the average age of posters here is around 50 and that they are reasonably well educated and reasonably affluent. Take a trip to the job centre on a Tuesday and go see the real world.
I don't judge the LL for kids. I know loads of pinoys all in the same shitty situation.
My guess is that the average age of posters here is around 50 and that they are reasonably well educated and reasonably affluent. Take a trip to the job centre on a Tuesday and go see the real world.
I don't judge the LL for kids. I know loads of pinoys all in the same shitty situation.
#2433
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 466
Re: Me and My Family
Mallory.....
****You must admit that YOUR marriage is an arrangement***** Explain to me how you figure that? I have lived here for 4 yrs and at any point prior to marriage 6 months ago, I could have moved out with ease. As many have pointed out in this column, an ex-pat like me would have no problem finding a partner. Indeed, during that time, I have had several subtle hints from other women. Also I could have joined many of the sexpats in Angeles as an example and lived a life of debauchery with no ties or responsibilities. But I didn't. Instead, I married her.
*****she enjoys not working***** Again, how do you figure that out? She has been running an on-line jewelry business for 4 yrs which involves a lot of running about collecting/sending money and receiving and sending packages. Plus many hours on-line advertising and dealing with customers.
I agree with you in part about her children. But she gives her two boys an allowance each week and provides their needs for school. The two girls, she sends them money for their educational needs. She didn't have to do this....it is Philippine law that it is the fathers responsibility to take care of children when couples are separated. However, she recognizes that the fathers do not have the financial means to do this. But yes...I find it most strange that she does not interact more with her children. Also strange that her mother gave their 3rd daughter away at birth because he was a boy. It is not uncommon in Philippine culture. But mystifying to us.
As far as looking after me is concerned in old age.....The only reservation I have on that is that I will be over cossetted. I have had the dreaded lurgy for the past couple of weeks. She is treating it like the black death. Going out and getting cough medicines,,,headache pills....remonstrating that I should not sit too near a fan.....and it goes on. I only have a bad cold. When she has been away I get constant messages to make sure I am ok. Have I eaten dinner? Don't go out....it looks like rain....etc etc. So don't worry about me on that score.
Thanks for reading my "book"! Pleased to answer your concerns...
Regards
****You must admit that YOUR marriage is an arrangement***** Explain to me how you figure that? I have lived here for 4 yrs and at any point prior to marriage 6 months ago, I could have moved out with ease. As many have pointed out in this column, an ex-pat like me would have no problem finding a partner. Indeed, during that time, I have had several subtle hints from other women. Also I could have joined many of the sexpats in Angeles as an example and lived a life of debauchery with no ties or responsibilities. But I didn't. Instead, I married her.
*****she enjoys not working***** Again, how do you figure that out? She has been running an on-line jewelry business for 4 yrs which involves a lot of running about collecting/sending money and receiving and sending packages. Plus many hours on-line advertising and dealing with customers.
I agree with you in part about her children. But she gives her two boys an allowance each week and provides their needs for school. The two girls, she sends them money for their educational needs. She didn't have to do this....it is Philippine law that it is the fathers responsibility to take care of children when couples are separated. However, she recognizes that the fathers do not have the financial means to do this. But yes...I find it most strange that she does not interact more with her children. Also strange that her mother gave their 3rd daughter away at birth because he was a boy. It is not uncommon in Philippine culture. But mystifying to us.
As far as looking after me is concerned in old age.....The only reservation I have on that is that I will be over cossetted. I have had the dreaded lurgy for the past couple of weeks. She is treating it like the black death. Going out and getting cough medicines,,,headache pills....remonstrating that I should not sit too near a fan.....and it goes on. I only have a bad cold. When she has been away I get constant messages to make sure I am ok. Have I eaten dinner? Don't go out....it looks like rain....etc etc. So don't worry about me on that score.
Thanks for reading my "book"! Pleased to answer your concerns...
Regards
#2434
Re: Me and My Family
Well, I am sorry for you in some ways. When you went to Philippines you were looking for a nice laid back lifestyle, and a windfall from your house in UK. If everything had gone well you would be in a good place. But the threats, the knife, the scams, the illnesses, the conniving family! Your retirement so far as been very unsettling! You obviously are very fond of her. I’m sorry I did not really understand the culture with the children until it was explained in the last few posts. Never having lived in Asia I did not really get the situation. The living “day by day” with no thought for the future is alien to us that have never lived there. I have enjoyed reading the thread, and I think it is a good outlet for you. You seem quite happy at the moment, so good luck with it all.
#2435
Re: Me and My Family
Well, I am sorry for you in some ways. When you went to Philippines you were looking for a nice laid back lifestyle, and a windfall from your house in UK. If everything had gone well you would be in a good place. But the threats, the knife, the scams, the illnesses, the conniving family! Your retirement so far as been very unsettling! You obviously are very fond of her. I’m sorry I did not really understand the culture with the children until it was explained in the last few posts. Never having lived in Asia I did not really get the situation. The living “day by day” with no thought for the future is alien to us that have never lived there. I have enjoyed reading the thread, and I think it is a good outlet for you. You seem quite happy at the moment, so good luck with it all.
For me it’s not about LL giving the children up, if that’s the culture, but the fact that she wasn’t upfront with him to start with. I guess deceit is part of the culture too
#2436
Forum Regular
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 105
Re: Me and My Family
#2437
#2438
Re: Me and My Family
I would need more than two hands to count the number of marriages between a USC and Philippine woman that ended asa the green card was received. A handful were smart enough to wait for the USC to impregnant them and buy them the big 3K sq ft house and naturalize before they filed for divorce, alimony and in community property states 1/2 the house and 1/2 of the family monies in addition to child support for the little one. They are not stupid women. They had a goal and did what was necessary to reach it.
No, it is not every Philippine woman or man, nor is it every marriage. However, it did and does happen enough to give the female population of the Philippines a bad rep.
#2439
Forum Regular
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 105
Re: Me and My Family
. A great many of our members were USC who were marrying ladies from the Philippines that they met on dating site or in the 'mail order' catalogues. The former INS/BCIS were very strict about mail order brides from the Philippines and Soviet Union.
No, it is not every Philippine woman or man, nor is it every marriage. However, it did and does happen enough to give the female population of the Philippines a bad rep.
No, it is not every Philippine woman or man, nor is it every marriage. However, it did and does happen enough to give the female population of the Philippines a bad rep.
But if you Base your perceptions of a nation on a subset of " Mail order brides" hardly a rational conclusion is it.
Fortionatly there many more Filipinas than "mail order brides."
On the danger of hijacking the thread I leave it to you to make the last comment on the subject.
#2440
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2014
Location: Capiz
Posts: 1,646
Re: Me and My Family
P11. I think I have come up with a solution for your sudden excess of mangoes. While I was eating my chicken vindaloo this evening I noticed that something was missing - mango chutney.
#2441
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: bute
Posts: 9,740
Re: Me and My Family
P11's comments about siblings who never leave their own patch in UK ! Yes that is so true. Living now in Scotland where I grew up, I meet every day people whose horizons are VERY limited !
#2442
Re: Me and My Family
#2443
#2444
Re: Me and My Family
Some of MrBEVS family have hardly moved a street & it does seem to have suited them well.
#2445
Re: Me and My Family
My horizon never was to live anywhere other than where I was and it is only because of marriage that I did.