Millhouse

I think people are being too harsh on P11. Despite my campaigning for dumping her at the airport after a dirty weekend in HK, I'm only saying this so he can get an upgrade. If I was him and at his stage in life, I would probably be doing exactly the same thing.

Philosophical 11

Tweedpipe..

You state that it is nonsense that I have said no-one is interested in good news. You are wrong. Certainly I have not posted much..or any good news recently because of events of late but prior to these, I made the odd post and it received little or no comment. That is not meant to be a criticism but reality. I liken it to TV soap operas where viewers are more interested in dirty dealings, scandals and the like. Hence their popularity. A soap opera with only sweetness and light would not last long on TV.

JG...

Thanks for your good wishes. I hope the same also. Obviously.

Rete...

Thank you also. Opinions are just that...opinions. We are all entitled to them and don't have to agree with them. I will re-iterate again that I respect all opinions but I do not necessarily have to agree with them. Interestingly, the bulk of ex-pats here agree with me. Yes, they are disappointed and shocked on what has been happening and when I confide with them, a few have also been subject to knife attacks or physical violence from their WAGs. It is not unusual in the Philippines. But of course that does not mean it is right. I guess the reason why the bulk here have a different opinion to those reading this thread is because they know us personally and as a loving couple. Perhaps I should post more "good news"!

Regards

moneypenny20

You should post what you want. If it's good and you want to share, do so. If it's bad and you want to let off steam you do that as well. People may respond in positive or negative ways, doesn't mean you change how you post.

Pollyana

Its very true.Bad news sells It sells newspapers, tv stories, and internet postings. Its what the majority of people want to read.
Working in disaster management we are only too aware that after a cyclone people want to know "how many dead, how many homes lost etc". When it comes to the survival stories, the good news, they read it, shrug and move on. But a 'good' disaster, with stories running for weeks afterwards, that's gold as far as the media are concerned.
And a story like yours will get the same reaction, people read the good news, smile and move on. When they get the bad news they want to join in, say their bit and get involved. Its just human nature.

Elgin1983

This thread, both the story and reactions to it, are a case study in hard truths and human nature.

The fury of do-gooders who see their advice ignored.

The sheer economic precariousness of life in the 3rd world, where most of the population are about 2 days from destitution (probably a glimpse of the future in the West, as safety nets, job security and pensions disappear and migrants pour in.)

The unavoidable fact that most men desire youth, beauty and excitement in women, while most women desire stability and financial certainty in men. All those posters boasting about how, unlike P11, they have a truly loving, calm, drama-free relationship with their Asian wife; I'll wager either they are significantly wealthy, or their wife is the same age as they are. Or the same weight. With a face like a bag of spanners.

Ultimately I'm not too worried about dear old P11. If he were 30 years younger I'd be telling him to get out like so many in this thread. But he's in his 70s, and his wealth is in pensions rather than a lump sum, which means he couldn't squander it if he wanted to. It will keep coming for the rest if his life, so he will never be totally broke. And how many men in their 70s go to bed every night with a beautiful woman half their age? I can only think of one off the top of my head, and he's the President of the United States.

P11, enjoy the beach, the weather and most of all your LL. Be a little less trusting (I'd recommend deleting Facebook: I did and my life improved), learn to say no in a cheerful way, indulge in a pleasurable hobby or two, and make the most of your free time in your twilight years.

mikek1

Bealinehx

mike 1,
Very well put. Just to add my tuppence worth. My wife has a very successful career and has travelled extensively.
There are plenty of us who have chosen to live in the Philippines who are in happy and meaningful relationships.

Philosophical 11

Ah yes....Happy and meaningful relationships....

My first marriage lasted 42 years and for the most part, it was happy and meaningful until we drifted apart and mutually separated.

This relationship has lasted just over 4yrs and apart from the well documented problems recently, it has also been happy and meaningful. But most marriages hit problems which can pose a huge strain on a relationship. That was the case here. However, if the love is strong enough these problems can be overcome. But its not just love that's required, it also requires patience and understanding.....and belief. Man and woman are two different animals. That's one problem, then we have the cultural divide....another problem. And on top of all that, we have the problem of communication....most important in a relationship. Communication is more difficult when both partners do not share the same language. My wife speaks English reasonably well and I mostly understand. That is not the same for her....sometimes what I may say can be misinterpreted by her. but who am I to criticize? My grasp of the local language is just above non-existent.

Character plays a huge part in relationships. We are all different. No one is perfect and my wife as many Filipinas here let emotions dominate their actions and not their brain. This is in contrast to most westerners. But the big secret is to learn from mistakes. I certainly have. I have been told privately I need to be more assertive. Good advice indeed. She is learning the hard way, but she is a beautiful Filipina as most women here are, and culture takes time to change.

Yes...its great to wake up to beautiful lady half my age. And I am not talking about sex. After all, sex can be had without a relationship. Not my style. And to be candid, with the problems we have been having plus her well documented hormonal problems....well, I will let you figure that out. Yes, I could have kicked her into touch and upgraded as has been mentioned. But you don't do that easily with someone who has been with me for the best part of 5 yrs of my life. But waking up to a lady who is half my age, means I have another day with a woman that makes me feel young. The old saying is correct....you are only as young as the woman with whom you are with.

She continues to flourish and I am pleased that she is making amends with her family. Her father rang her today, but that was mostly about the surfeit of mangoes. We have a couple of bagful's here, very juicy and delicious they are too. She is making new friends and re-acquainting old ones. I am pleased for her. And that makes me happy. Yes...happy and meaningful relationships. I have that back again. My first marriage lasted 42 years and I look back on happy memories. Maybe this one will last as long. Well...I am going to give it a damn good try.

Regards

Feidlimid

P11, with your lovely lady keen to get back to work, earn a few pesos and pay her way, perhaps this surfeit of mangoes could be turned into a great opportunity. How about LL and/ or her family getting involved in a more practical business such as adding value to the basic product by turning the mango surfeit into quality mango chutney, mango jam, mango smoothies, mango mousse cake or mango ice-cream, to mention a few; the operative word here being quality in order to compete with the majority of the competition, which all to often seem to specialise in dilution by any means. Maybe she’s a dab hand in the kitchen? Might help to keep her on the straight and narrow too; although I would understand your reticence for her to be involved in any sort of business going forward.

BEVS

Point of order here. That is not correct at all.
I am older than MrBEVS . He is younger than me. We are happy and in a good loving long term marriage. It is that which keeps us young in our hearts, not our physical ages.

spouse of scouse

If a much younger woman is P11's litmus test for feeling good about himself, then I feel very sorry for him.

Yowzer

I have just finished reading the entire thread, took me hours, and can honestly say "I am exhausted" by the endless drama, lies, and sometimes amusing stories.
I offer no advise to P11, as its clear this does not work.
But oh my god, it makes me thankful, I have a loving honest wife Philippina of course, we have a very nice brand new house fully paid for, no debts or money worries, no skeletons in the closet.
Her family have never asked for a penny in five years,they are very respectable decent people to which I am grateful,and they have nothing but our best interests at heart
P11 hope all ends well for you

Millhouse

Philosophical 11

Feidlimid,

Thanks for the suggestion re the mangoes. I think they have the problem sussed so far. Selling to the resorts around here appear to be fruitful, (pun not intended) and I think the remainder will ensure that we and the family will not go short for some time.

Bevs...

****you are only as young as the woman with whom you are with***** It works for me and many others. But the point of my comment was that it makes me feel young both physically and mentally which is different to the point you are making. Many other attributes contribute to a loving and long term relationships.

SOS...

Millhouse is correct. I never stated that being married to a younger (mature) woman is a litmus test for feeling good about myself. But I will tell you what is.....living on a tropical island, married to a beautiful Filipina, living 10 mins walk from the beach, very cheap living (meal for 2 plus drinks about £4...plus change). Compare it to the UK in my position living on two pensions.......living in relative poverty, and generally miserable weather plus cold winters. You may feel sorry for me....I don't.

Yowzer....

Thanks for reading....and for your good wishes.

Regards

PS...another bag of mangoes has arrived.

BEVS

I do not understand. Are you saying you only see yourself through the mirrored eyes of a much younger person? Why? Or maybe it is why the need. You are not young. You are older. You can feel great for your age by simply keeping fit mentally and physically. That comes from you though. No-one else.

I am with a younger man. To be fair neither of us knew this when we met and it really has never factored into our relationship. He doesn't make me feel his age & I don't why I would want to pretend that. However many folks do take us both for a good ten years younger than we are for some reason which I sometimes find vaguely embarrassing. I think that has to do with our individual attitudes and outlooks.

I do take the points made by Elgin further up thread. I can quite see that for someone in their 70's or younger, perhaps without the care and love of family around them and not too much in the way of security and income after a life lived, that perhaps a life in the sun, by the sea, being tended to by a lady willing to do so in exchange for another type of security could well be appealing .

Tongue firmly in cheek thinks : Does this work for ladies in their 70's with much younger men tending to their needs

A question P11. I think you may adult offspring ? Do you see them. Do they visit you?

edit.... I wish to be clear I am musing really and so then asking P11 for some of his thoughts.