christmasoompa

Actually, exactly the MO of a spammer. You say you are not 'rich pickings', but you're looking at that from a Western POV. For her, you are rich pickings and worth courting slowly.

It's hard for any of us to believe that somebody less than half your age suddenly struck up a relationship on FB for any reason other than the obvious. Which her actions since have seemed to confirm. I've only seen this thread over the past few pages, somehow it passed me by before, so I haven't read the whole story. Out of interest, did she contact you first or the other way around?

If this was somebody else's relationship, i.e. a friend came to you and told you the whole story, what would you say to him?

Philosophical 11

D....Yes, she has started looking for a job. Sadly in this town, jobs are few are far between. This is why I mentioned a little while back that we may have to move from this area. But, as I aslo mentioned to her....things are not that desperate yet.

C....****what would you say to him?***** Good question and asked before. I would say as others here would say.....get the hell out of there. But you are not the man/woman on the ground and therefore cannot have the same perspective. Question for you....at what point would you have terminated this relationship? ****worth courting slowly**** That's done. The ATM is nearly empty. But she is still here....why is that do you think? Also, consider that not too far from here is a large city with thousands of expats. Why is she still here when bigger opportunities are present not too far away?

She contacted me first on fb through a friend I believe. We never chatted or interacted for 6 months. Why? Because she saw that my status was married.

Thanks

scrubbedexpat141

Amen.

Modest pensions and half a house in the UK might not seem like billions to us, but £1,000 monthly pension (for sake of argument) is about $1300 at the moment, which is over 5 times (roughly) the average salary. KNowing what we know about P11's lovely lady, we know the family isn't producing highly educated professional earners, so it's probably more like 7-8 times the monthly salary.

So, a grand a month is not stretching far in the UK but in deepest darkest Philippines it's the ****ing lottery.

christmasoompa

The minute it became clear that it wasn't a partnership, and that there was no mutual respect or trust. Probably the existence of children that I'd never been told about would have done that for me, but there may have been other triggers (as above, I've not read the whole thread).

Your wife should be your best friend, and isn't. That you think a relationship such as yours is acceptable is so desperately sad.

Philosophical 11

C....

Thanks. So you would blow away a 3 yr relationship on the sudden existence of children which she was too scared to admit? You gave me an honest answer which I respect.

As far as mutual respect and trust is concerned, we have that. Although I will be the first to admit she keeps most things to her self and never shares her problems with family or her best friends. That is her make-up. We are all different.

Scamp....

She knows what I get in pension.....she also knows the debts. She understands also that she has no more personal allowance nor indeed a private pension and for me no life insurance. There is a big city not far from me swimming with "rich" foreigners. But she is still here.

Regards

christmasoompa

Yes. Because those 3 years would have been a sham to me if she didn't trust me or our relationship enough to tell me about them.

And this to me is the crux of the problem. If you genuinely think that you have trust and mutual respect in your relationship, then you just don't know any different or what a decent relationship should be like. Sorry, but from what you've said neither of you trust each other, and she certainly doesn't respect you. If she did there would be no need to lie to you and go behind your back. Remember she's not just done it once, she's done it repeatedly for years. That isn't a healthy relationship by most people's standards.

Dorothy

I agree with Christmas. As soon as the first lie was discovered I would have had a serious discussion about trust and secrets and my requirement for honesty in all aspects of the relationship. Once anything else comes to light it's sayonara from me.

You've no doubt heard the saying, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me". How many more times do you need to be lied to before you open your eyes to what's going on?

teza

moneypenny20

I've read from the beginning but I don't remember this but we are going back a few years now and I'm sure there's much I've forgotten. So is this daughter one of the two you've just discovered or a fifth child? You said earlier that you found out about them whilst you were away.

spouse of scouse

At the time (2015), P11's LL told him that the young lady was her sister....

Jerseygirl

That’s my recollection but I couldn’t be bothered to read the old posts again.

When I read P11’s posts all I see is one excuse after another, to justify her lies and deception. I’m not sure whether he is trying to convince us or himself.

spouse of scouse

I don't think P11 knows the answer to that either.

Philosophical 11

MP and SOS....

Sorry...my mistake. SOS is correct. It was her younger sister who instead of taking over the mantle of main provider working in a call centre after my wife and I put her through college, she is working in the city hall earning next to nothing. But she is sporting a jolly nice mobile phone which she was paying about 2 - 3k per month. Obviously I had daughters on my mind....

C....

As you have not read the full story, you will be forgiven that I was married previously for 40+ years so I know what a normal relationship is about. I suspect however, that you do not live in the Philippines to know that a child coming out of the blue is not uncommon as far as ex-pats are concerned.

Regards

Philosophical 11

SOS....

****I don't think P11 knows the answer to that either***** I do actually. You have read my post concerning the ATM allegations and the reasoning behind it. Perhaps you can be more specific.

Regards

spouse of scouse

Because your 'reasoning' makes no sense. In fact, in light of all you've disclosed previously, your reasoning is unreasonable to any reasonable person. Try saying that after a few beers