marmaduke

After 123 gripping pages of love, tears and attempted murder I finally feel compelled to log in and say something. Well, two things.

You can't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. And is part of the reason you're holding fast a kind of sheepishness about having to backpedal out of a radical shift in your life (young foreign wife, retiring to the 'Pines) that some, back at home, would have viewed poorly when you made that choice?

Get out for your own sake, but, please, feel free to stay there for ours. This is by far the longest and most entertaining forum thread I've read cover-to-cover in 23 years online.

Rete

I'm, or rather was, Catholic and my first husband Protestant. My current husband Irish/Canadian. With the exception of lovers who were Jewish they have all been circumcised.

Stokkevn

P11 - I hate to give others advice wrt relationships in case they turn round and point out my errors, of which there are many ( 2 ex wives will confirm that ).

It is time to cut and run to another island, even if it is only for a week or four. No phone, email, fb or anything. After a period of reflection if you still feel that the relationship is worth resuscitating ( I use that word as I think after threats of murder, suicide and selling of kidneys - yours or hers, the marriage vows are not being held up by one side, or possibly both as we have only heard from one side ) then ask her to join you on neutral ground to discuss with all cards from both sides on the table. Again both keep away from fb, twit etc. you might find that you are both after the same thing but looking down the opposite ends of the telescope to achieve it.

If all goes pear shaped, my wife has a lovely cousin with only 13 kids and another due in the spring.

edmontron

jaygee68

Stokkevn.........."with all cards from both sides on the table"

My guess is that all the cards will be from one side only,and each and every one of them will be maxed out.

Seriously P11.You have to consider biting the bullet IMO and doing the right thing.I know it is not easy as i have been through it all myself.All i can say,in mitigation,is that there are tens of thousands other single filipinos out there who will treat you better.

Good luck mate.

Gazza-d

It's the way they do it in the Philippines, I always assumed it is something that they picked up from the Americans during their occupation.

ChrisKVie

I'm not sure whether this is all a great work of fiction or not. But what I am sure about is your both as daft as each other. You for putting up with it and her for being a crazy B.

BEVS

Me too. Donkeys years ago it was done for mistaken 'hygiene' reasons.

Jerseygirl

P11...Please keep in touch so we know you are OK.

I don’t mean to pry...you don’t have to update us...please just let us know that you are OK.

mikek1

Red_Wine_Fairy

P11, please, listen to Stokkevn. I know this is your dream, that returning back to the UK would be momentarily embarrassing. But man, you have years ahead of you and the Phillipines aren't looking great for your longevity. It doesn't even have to be the UK, you have until March to settle anywhere here in Europe - no questions asked. This woman is your poison, and only you can wake up to what poison eventually does to you. Please, take action and do not validate her evil (it IS evil) behaviour towards you. I'm guessing your sons had far more discipline when they were toddlers? You know in your heart this isn't working out. Take a break, temporary if you like. But make sure your air ticket money is always safe. Take care.

mikek1

Philosophical 11

Greetings and Salutations...

Feeling a lot more optimistic now with new revelations to report .... and my wife is back to her normal loving self. More on that later....but first...

Thanks for all your comments. Much appreciated...and I mean that most sincerely folks.

Issues raised: Her mobile phone account with a very large disconnection fee. I have challenged the company involved to provide proof that she has in fact broken her contract. She is adamant that she has hasn't. They have not replied. However, when I go to renew my visa next week, I will check for myself at the office where she signed the contract. So at the moment they can go and whistle.

If I have to return to the UK, I will go with my head held high and pride intact. The ones I care about know whats happening here and accept that I have done my best with dignity. That is all I care about. The future? Doubt if I would return to the Phils and I would most probably abandon her if she turns out to be what most people think here. I would spend a few months with my sons and those things I have missed. Then I might go to somewhere like Cambodia, Vietnam etc where my pittance of my pensions allow me to live far more comfortably. In the sun...by a beach.

A few of you are fb friends of mine. I am active on FB. If you guys see nothing there, then maybe there is a problem. I only post here if there is something to report....or prompted to.

Now.....for some interesting info. Well...I think it is.

My wife is back to her happy loving self. Maybe its because she realizes I am on her side....or her drugs for her hormone problems are kicking in. She is singing, dancing and laughing and appears without a care in the world. She has been through a lot of stress with the wedding as I have already reported and now this scamming episode. We lay in bed the other night and told me how happy she now feels compared to the stresses of the preceding few months. Cannot believe how she has reacted towards me....and apologized. How long will this last? Time will tell. But ts welcome respite to me.

Now....the new revelations. To recap. According to her, she was scammed by her supplier out of nearly 180k on orders from 7 customers....some of them are her resellers. They too have customers. One at least is a distant family member and the others are close friends. When this news was first broken to me, I told her that I want this scammers number to contact her, and will build a case against her using the money paper trail as evidence. I have seen her last messages to the scammer where she appears to be pleading with her to honour the deals she placed with her. I have seen that she has been blocked ....and so have I. I smelt a rat when no paper trail could be found to link any of deals that I have seen in her order book. Nor did I see what was involved in her last msg regarding what the orders where.....nor the value. But why?

Chatting to an ex-pat friend he has an interesting theory which happened to someone he knows. This persons wife got scammed and didn't want to tell her husband for fear that he would take legal action....but she feared reprisals from the scammer after a threat of a "drive-by". Now, the money involved with my wife is something she cannot deal with herself. She had to tell me. I have not got this scammers tel no. Why? Because ....the receipts bearing her number have been destroyed. But where are her receipts to my wife to validate her claims? He reckons that they have been destroyed also....No receipts...no evidence....no legal proof against the scammer. But why? According to him it is quite possible that she has been threatened with reprisals if she or I go after the scammer.....or at least worried about the possibility. 180k is a lot of money. That's the theory.

But now I hear what proof have I that this has taken place at all....and its a big scam against me. Two days ago, I received a message from one her customers....whom I verified from her sales book begging me to help retrieve 15k on jewelry ordered. I verified that amount also. Who was this customer? A class mate of my wife. I met her and her lovely Norwegian husband nearly two years ago when they visited us here. Would my wife scam a long time class mate and very good friend? I mentioned another customer as a family relative. He is owed 26k. Would she scam a family relative of this huge amount?

Remember, she has been scammed before in December and she only recently admitted that to me to explain all her pawned jewelry. She wanted to handle that herself.....which she did. Her pride told her so. This time....its too big. And she has no jewelry to pawn.

Nearly forgot. We were reviewing the list of debtors last night and said that I had got a figure wrong. I had forgotten to deduct 6k from one of them. She had needed that 6k quickly and I documented here how I used her pension fund premium payment so she could pay this customer. She didn't have to remind me about the 6k if she was scamming me. She could have left that to her advantage and I would have been none the wiser.

All for now

Jerseygirl

It’s all smoke and mirrors. Get out now while you can...FAST.

Englishmum