Philosophical 11

mikemike,

Not necessarily. But it is not on FB.

Thanks Gazza-d

Regards

David Mashael

You said the same thing about your LL FB page, you believed that you would have known about the children then as well.
Most of us have been following your sorry story from day 1 and I'm sure we all wish you all the best, but man you are just not seeing what's been going here from the very beginning and for whatever reason, refusing to see it for what it is, always making excuses for her again and again. I just don't get it at all mate, it's as if she has you hypnotised or under some spell. There is absolutely nothing she can say or do that in any way shape or form excuses her from all the crap you have been putting up with. I'm sure deep down you must know that but for some reason seem unable to come to terms with it. Unbelievable.

Philosophical 11

DM,

Her FB page does not mention children because they do not exist in her mind.

His FB page does not mention a marriage because it never happened.

Her sisters FB page does not mention marriage.....because it never happened.

The Legal document she has states she is legally entitled to marriage.

I hope that it makes more clear to you.

Finally, I have two ex-pats here with whom I have confided. They have known both of us as a couple for 3 yrs and believe as I do that I have done the correct thing. I will say no more than that. The difference I guess is that I am on the ground and the readers here are not. I will agree however, she is in the "last chance saloon"

Regards

MAV_DXB

I haven't used FB for around 5 years now, but from memory - you can control what people can and cannot see on FB - you can create different groups of people so only certain groups can see certain posts and pictures.

Create a family group (you're not included), post a pic, you won't see it.

Saying it's not on FB means nothing. (Unless things have changed over the past few years).

Pica

I can't understand how a mother can just walk away from her 2 children- and by that I mean not acknowledge them/ be proud to introduce them to the OP.That says an awful lot about her loyalties and responsibilities and dare I say it depth of feelings

Philosophical 11

Mav dxb,

You are correct.

However, its one helluva conspiracy theory to suggest the FB posts or non posts have been manipulated to hide the truth in a situation such as this. Gazza-d has got it right.

Finally, the information about the children and relationship came from a Filipina who has lived a few doors down from the father. She is married to an ex-pat who knows me. She spilt the beans to other partners and ex pats who know me. Every one was hoping my lovely lady would come clean. She didn't. An expat's partner whom I had helped through a difficult time decided that I should know. I thank her for that. Marriage was not mentioned. If she was married, I am sure it would have been mentioned.

Regards

nonthaburi

Not as angry and upset as I would be finding out I'd been completely lied to.

She's only upset and angry at being found out for the..............

nonthaburi

Of course they are. How could they not know!!

Catchafire

So what your saying, is that she is a sociopath.

Philosophical 11

Pica,

Yes I agree with your thoughts on how can a mother give up her child(ren) which to us seems callous and uncaring.

I think of the 9 months she has the carried the child with hopes and expectation and finally giving birth to a new life. Breastfeeding the child and creating a bond that naturally to us should be ever enduring. But here in the Phils it is not uncommon for the mother to abandon the child. I have written earlier that one of my lovely ladies sisters was given away at birth. Why? Because they wanted a boy. I have met that sister when we arrived back in Manila from our trip away. They are sisters, but there was nothing there to show that. She had a forlorn look in her eyes and is living in poverty with a husband and two children. I felt deeply sorry for her and wondered then, what was life about?

This weekend, the families kids will come over to our house as they do every weekend. Just for a few hours to do a few odd jobs around the garden for a few peso. It will be traumatic for me when I see the two boys who I now know are her sons. Life can be difficult sometimes.

Regards

Admin....Love the new format! Thanks

mikek1

Philosophical 11

Mikek1. I tend to agree with you about her behavior requiring professional help and have been aware of that for some time now. Guess that's why I have given her so much leeway. But theres only so much rope I can give her.....before she hangs herself. I will reiterate again. She is in the "last chance saloon". There will no more loans for her and her family. If she has debts, then that's her problem not mine. I hope I made myself clear.

Regards

mikek1

Raffin

The BBC are currently screening "My Life with the Tribe", a documentary series about people who live in the West Papuan rain forest in 10m high tree houses, are naked, eat grubs and rats etc. Actually, they're now mostly residing in government villages, but there are some who still cling to the old way of life...or at least they do when foreign film makers arrive! They go back into the rain forest, occupy abandoned tree houses, take off their clothes and the Indonesian Rupiahs come. One group even conned an Australian TV company by erecting a highly dangerous 30m high tree house. These people have never lived at such a height. The idea of Westerners being conned for money will resonate with many posters on this thread, but I was particularly interested in what happened to the wife of one of these "temporary" tree house dwellers in part two of this series (which is still available on BBC iPlayer). She gave birth on her own in the Rain Forest, cutting her own umbilical birth..so far so good...but some days later the baby died..and there was almost zero reaction from the parents. It was then explained by the local guide that, to put it bluntly "babies are not regarded as human". Not to make any parallel with the Philippines here, just to emphasize the big differences that can exist between cultures concerning the loss and abandonment.

However, if the OPs relationship continues over this latest hurdle, I think he will inexorably be drawn into an increasingly closer relationship with the two boys in question. He is already anticipating "trauma" when seeing them. LL may also begin to drop her present distant relationship. As the boys get older they may start to ask questions about their white "uncle". All likely to be leading to many future financial commitments. It could all work out, except we know the OP had a disappointingly low divorce pay out and that the financial situation of LL is something of a mystery. But, thirty years after accidentally discovering, post marriage, my wife already had a child, things have worked out reasonably well, with some "downs" along the way.

A big decision is to be made in the relationship in the near future. But, hang on, we are told by the OP that there may be breaking news coming soon involving skin whitening...which may be a "deal breaker"! More exciting than Trump and Stormy Daniels!

Then all this may become moot, and would avoid the OP what is bound to be a complicated and difficult relationship with LL and the family, given the news of two previously unknown children. It would push someone who is generally accepted here to be a (too?) nice bloke to get out of the situation asap. Something which he seems reluctant to do, even with the latest news.

bestvue

After committing for over 3 years to a new life it must be difficult in the extreme to see the wood from the trees. Read your own story from the beginnng to the end as a 3rd party and see what other posters are really seeing. Whatever you future course of action is i'm sure most all of the posters only wish you the best.