Humorous Episodes

Old Dec 2nd 2021, 8:42 am
  #196  
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Default Re: Humorous Episodes

Originally Posted by Philosophical 11 View Post
I don't think anyone can drive like the Italians.... but every time I jumped into my car the BBC F1 signature tune came into my head.
That could be said to be quite poignant in your case P11​​​, Fleetwood Mac's "The chain"

Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise
Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies
And if, you don't love me nowYou will never love me again…
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Old Dec 2nd 2021, 8:55 am
  #197  
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Default Re: Humorous Episodes

Originally Posted by Expatrick View Post
That could be said to be quite poignant in your case P11​​​, Fleetwood Mac's "The chain"
Haha... correct!

But that signature tune was most appropriate when strapping yourself in....

I used to drive Jags when I was serving in Italy (long story) but one advantage of that is that appears to be the car of choice by the local mafioso and you were given a little respect by the other road users. But I can still remember the times when sweeping majestically down the fast lane at 100+ and spotting a beat up Fiat inches from my rear end in the rear view mirror.... headlights flashing...irate Italian driver angrily gesticulating trying to make a fourth lane on a three lane motorway....
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Old Jan 8th 2022, 10:42 pm
  #198  
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Default Re: Humorous Episodes

Stockkevn, you haven't posted here since the end of November.

My assumption is that you've had internet problems due to Odette passing over your island.

Hope nothing more serious.
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Old Jan 9th 2022, 12:03 am
  #199  
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Default Re: Humorous Episodes

Originally Posted by Raffin View Post
Stockkevn, you haven't posted here since the end of November.

My assumption is that you've had internet problems due to Odette passing over your island.

Hope nothing more serious.
Last visit on BE was Dec 12th....
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Old Jan 9th 2022, 12:42 am
  #200  
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Default Re: Humorous Episodes

Originally Posted by Raffin View Post
Stockkevn, you haven't posted here since the end of November.

My assumption is that you've had internet problems due to Odette passing over your island.

Hope nothing more serious.
Had a few outages both internet and power but not much. Her-in-doors has said I am not to wind up the natives over the festive period, but that is over now.
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Old Jan 9th 2022, 12:54 am
  #201  
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Default Re: Humorous Episodes

You've got to do better than that lola tied to the tree story this time as I read about another one during Odette!
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Old Jan 9th 2022, 11:06 am
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Default Re: Humorous Episodes

Originally Posted by Raffin View Post
Stockkevn, you haven't posted here since the end of November.

My assumption is that you've had internet problems due to Odette passing over your island.

Hope nothing more serious.
Many years ago in the UK I was working away from home on a project. One Friday evening went for a couple of beers with one of my workmates, he then drove home, following morning he came into the office with a cut on his head and carrying a suitcase, he just looked at me and said it was all my fault for taking him out for a drink. It came out that after the couple of beers he went home and had a few whiskies, his wife was feeling randy so as dutiful husband leapt on top but he had had too much to drink and could not finish. His wife asked him what the problem was, he said he could not believe what he said "I can't think of anyone nice", with that she shoved him out of the bed and he spent the next few weeks in my spare bedroom. The mark on his head was where he landed on the bedroom radiator.
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Old Jan 9th 2022, 8:40 pm
  #203  
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Default Re: Humorous Episodes

She was thinking he had lost his inhibition and had told the truth. He probably argued he was so drunk he didn't know what he was saying. Finely balanced. Not surprised he was with you for a few weeks.
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Old Jan 9th 2022, 9:54 pm
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Default Re: Humorous Episodes

Originally Posted by Raffin View Post
She was thinking he had lost his inhibition and had told the truth. He probably argued he was so drunk he didn't know what he was saying. Finely balanced. Not surprised he was with you for a few weeks.
Not the only error he made. After moving into a new house in a posh area and spending the day clearing out the garden, his wife stepped out of the shower and asked him "What do you think the neighbours would say if went sunbathing in the garden like this"?, he looked her up and down and said "They will think I have married you for your money", Back to the sofa he went.
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Old Jan 9th 2022, 10:01 pm
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Default Re: Humorous Episodes

Are they still together, do you know? Or did she finally get used to his SOH?

Could have been one of the Likely Lads?

Last edited by Raffin; Jan 9th 2022 at 10:59 pm.
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Old Jan 11th 2022, 12:15 pm
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Default Re: Humorous Episodes

Originally Posted by Raffin View Post
Are they still together, do you know? Or did she finally get used to his SOH?

Could have been one of the Likely Lads?
43 years later they are still together but his wife did say that he does have an occasional day or two on the sofa.
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Old Feb 13th 2022, 12:51 pm
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Default Re: Humorous Episodes

My wife tells me there is an etiquette here that when you shower you wash your body from top to bottom, i.e. start with the face and finishing with the feet and she keeps on about it as I just wash what next bit I like, well it is my shower. So I told her the other day my normal route is body, face, legs, crotch and bum. She now has her own soap in the shower that I have been told I am not allowed to touch it.
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Old Feb 13th 2022, 6:47 pm
  #208  
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Surprised you both used the same soap. In my experience the women here are very particular about what soap they use!
Another aspect of women and showers here...if they have access to a fully functioning one with a heater they can spend a very long time in them, even brushing their teeth there and can use a lot of water.
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Old Feb 14th 2022, 12:11 am
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Default Re: Humorous Episodes

Originally Posted by Raffin View Post
Surprised you both used the same soap. In my experience the women here are very particular about what soap they use!
Another aspect of women and showers here...if they have access to a fully functioning one with a heater they can spend a very long time in them, even brushing their teeth there and can use a lot of water.
The last place I lived was somewhat overcrowded sometimes with a small shower/cr. On one occasion I couldn't find my soap and used an old piece of soap I found laying around in there. After my shower I mentioned to one of the girls there that my soap had gone missing and used the soap I found in the shower. She was horrified. I gather that they only use soap for washing their unmentionables. I bought two bars of soap later that morning as a matter of urgency...
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Old Feb 14th 2022, 1:38 am
  #210  
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Default Re: Humorous Episodes

A soap saving suggestion for the area in question here. Hair is usually washed at the same time as the body and usually copious amounts of sudsy shampoo goes downwards. Why waste it?
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