David Mashael

Oops that is strange. I have gate valves on the pipes feeding the sink taps and washing machine, they confuse me as the water flows when the tap is across the direction of flow and stops when they are parallel. I've always experienced the opposite to be true, but hey, at least they all operate the same way.

Stokkevn

My wife took some of the family to the beach today along with the usual buckets of food, included was a small bag of Twiglets which they were told that I had specially imported from the UK so they were lucky to get any. They apparently turned happy smiling children and adults into what looked like a bulldog chewing a wasp. That small bag was a sacrifice well worth it as it will keep them away from my other goodies.

BEVS

Stokkevn

Filipino women do not seem to have a good sense of humour. My missus kept on for about a week dropping hints that valentines day was coming and flowers and chocolate was expected. So today I provided just that - a chocolate cake that I won at the local mall and two cauliflowers, apparently that is not what was expected. Move over dogs I am joining you tonight.

Stokkevn

A friend who has had a stroke and diabetes said that if he knew his body was going to have to last so long he would have looked after it better when he was young - how true for most of us.

Stokkevn

I think some protocols need to be installed in our house. Today her-in-doors asked if she could borrow ( native style ) some money so she could go and visit relatives in the next village for the weekend. Off she went to pack, raid the kitchen cupboards, then I heard the front door go ( not saying goodbye then I thought ) then I heard her shout from the front gate ( correction she is going to say goodbye from the gate so stuck my head out of the window ), she shouted from the gate "The dogs got an infection on its bollocks, can you rub some cream into them" With that she hopped into the tricycle and was gone.

Raffin

Yes, call a task force meeting. Your missus doesn't think you;re the dog's bollocks. You just look after them!

Stokkevn

Well that has put me in my place in the family hierarchy then, I would not mind but that dog does not actually have any bollocks.

Stokkevn

It always seems to happen to me. Last weekend at the beach with friends I said to my wife that I was going to get a lift home with one of her friends who had a 3 wheeled motorbike as I was thinking of getting one and also he was the only one that did not drink. So half way through the afternoon I spotted him with a glass in his hand and asked the wife why she said he did not drink, "He's only having a couple" she said. Then the guy proudly showed me that his name was the same as the brandy and to prove the point he pulled out an ID card to show me the names were the same, it was then I noticed that his ID card was a disability card, under 'disability' was 'Visual Disability'. So now I was going to be driven home by someone who is half blind, been drinking and on a 3 wheeled motorbike - brilliant!!

Philosophical 11

With the way they drive out here... I suspect you won't notice the difference!

Tweedpipe

Pls keep 'em coming.

Tweedpipe

Deleted.

Stokkevn

I noticed a few dead ants in my cup of coffee in the last couple of days, search of the coffee cupboard revealed nothing, then I noticed them in the spout of the kettle, quick inspection revealed a dead gecko that had obviously been boiled a few times and being fed upon by the ants. Wife smiled and said that I should check the kettle more often, should have seen her face change when I told her it had been in there a few days.

Raffin

It's puzzling to me why those small ants like getting into kettles. Not just inside but they also got into the switch of one and it had to be junked. Also lost a pair of computer speakers, same thing.

Stokkevn

Ants seem to migrate towards electrical items I think it has something to do with the magnetic field.