Bobsnoturuncle

I am after some advice with regards to a Filipina who I’ve been talking to until last week. She lives in San Augustin in the Surigao del Sul province on Mindanao. We’ve been talking since the end of last year and everything was going well. We messaged every day until Wednesday last week when all of a sudden communication from her stopped. She has said that the mobile signal where she lives is so weak that she can only use mobile data when she’s outside. The region is currently on lockdown due to the Coronavirus so she doesn’t go out other than to get food supplies. She has home WIFI but says it is not working and that the company isn’t sending anyone out to fix it. She says there is no hotline to call to report the problem so she would need to travel to the city to report it but can’t do so during the lockdown.

I know that the Philippines is renowned for mobile signal issues and power outages but I am wondering if as a result of the virus it is taking longer for mobile phone masts / WIFI to be repaired and therefore this is the reason for the more extended period of silence.

I’ve sent a couple of WhatsApp messages and it showed them as delivered. When I sent another message, it marked the previous ones as read with the read time being the same as the new messages’ sent time. Her last seen time has remained unchanged. I don’t understand why WhatsApp marks a message as read when a new message is sent.

I’ve tried calling her using WhatsApp and it rings but is unanswered. She sent an image before going quiet showing that she had tried to call me and the phrase ‘reconnecting to ……’ is shown in the image. It appears to suggest that she wasn’t able to connect to the WhatsApp server as I received no notification/message of the call. She did mention she hasn’t been able to video chat with her family as a result of the weak signal. I can still see her profile pic and last seen time, so this appears to indicate that she hasn’t blocked me.

I’ve tried SMS but have yet to be notified that the message was delivered. I called her mobile using my network but it says ‘the number you have dialled is either unattended or out of signal coverage area’. A quick Google search suggests that this means that the phone isn’t connected to the mobile network.

I am unsure as to whether she has ghosted me or if it’s merely a case of her not having an active connection and the virus is causing repairs to take longer than usual and that I should just wait until she has a connection.

I’m left with one final method of communication and that is snail mail but the problem is I don’t know her postal address. She has told her mum about me and her mum said that she wants to meet me soon. My friend has suggested that I contact her mum saying that I am concerned about her and ask if she can check on her, but I’m worried whether or not it would come across as weird as I am still a stranger to her mum.

Can anyone shed some light on this or let me know if they have/are experiencing the same sort of issues surrounding communication especially at a time like this. My concern is that it could be months before I hear from her again and I am genuinely concerned about her wellbeing. Should I contact her family asking them to check on her or leave it until she has signal again?

SanDiegogirl

You said she told you both she and son were ill..... nothing to do until she responds to you again.

Bobsnoturuncle

That is a different lady I was talking to. She has also been quiet for a few days though. But in her case I have left it as she has said that her and her son are ill so I haven't bothered her.

bestvue

Maybe she has cottoned on to the fact you are scamming her.
do you have more than two on the go at the same time.
in any case all you can do is wait. Conditions are not ideal in the Phils at the moment.

SanDiegogirl

...... you sound like a player ..... not an attractive quality to the opposite sex.

nonthaburi

It doesn't.
One tick sent.
Two ticks delivered.
Both ticks go blue seen.

Bobsnoturuncle

I would argue that I'm not, as at the moment I am only talking to them and not dating them. They both know that I am talking to others and they accept that. Although I can see why it may look like I am as I originally used the word girlfriend in the title instead of girl.

britishbull

No way to tell if it is a genuine problem or if she is entertaining a local boyfriend, you could try to find someone in the same area and see if their phone is still working.

Gazza-d

Perhaps she's just talking to someone else.

Bobsnoturuncle

Hopefully not but I'll never know that one unless she decides to get in contact.

Millhouse

You have a lot of insecurity issues, Bob.

You're also forgetting how it works... they use a variety of tools to make you feel uncomfortable and to try and control you - ghosting for a while is one of them.

The solution to this is to do what the locals do: have more than one on the go at the same time. When one goes quiet just entertain the other one until the first one comes around, it's pretty simple. Look at the problem from another angle and it makes more sense: she is giving you some space to be with the other girl for a bit. They get it - mostly as you're not the only one either.

Charl01

Yup As Millhouse said....
Lol you have more than one, so does she. Bet she is only talking to the one sending more money.

Good luck Bob

Bobsnoturuncle

I've heard back from her and she said she hasn't been in contact because the screen on her phone is broken and due to the lockdown she can't go to the city to get it repaired. I'm not sure how the screen broke but it seems a bit too convenient. She is using a basic phone to text and call her colleagues and family at the moment but can't use it for things like Whatsapp. She borrowed her neighbours' phone to message me via Facebook messenger.

She claims that her laptop doesn't have a wifi card so can't use it to get online. I would've thought most laptops have an internal wifi card in order for them to be portable. So I might ask her more about this as it seems very strange. But it may simply be a case of she uses her phone so much at home and connects the laptop by cable at work that she isn't aware that there is an internal wifi card.

She has said that she needs to go to the school tomorrow to print some forms so will contact me again then.

jaygee68

"She claims that her laptop doesn't have a wifi card so can't use it to get online. I would've thought most laptops have an internal wifi card in order for them to be portable. So I might ask her more about this as it seems very strange. But it may simply be a case of she uses her phone so much at home and connects the laptop by cable at work that she isn't aware that there is an internal wifi card."

Don't quote me on this but i have my suspicions that some Filipino girls actually tell fibs every now and then.

Bobsnoturuncle

You may be right on that one. My friend said his partner has an external device that she uses to connect her laptop to the internet. So it may be that when I hear the phrase 'wifi card' as a techie I immediately think of the small PCB that is placed inside a computer whereas she means an external device.

Anyway, I think I'm getting too hung up on the minor details rather than dealing with the more pressing issues such as why she wants to date a foreigner. So far the only reason she has given was that she previously had a great relationship with a foreigner before succumbing to depression. She went on to date a Filipino for five years but he cheated on her. I asked her Why do you want to date a foreigner rather than a Filipino? and she said 'I wanna try again to see if dating a foreigner is a better choice for me' and when I asked why she felt a foreigner may be a better choice she said 'I don't know, that's why I'm trying again'.