My life so far

Old Jun 14th 2010, 12:55 pm
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Smile My life so far

Hi. My name is Kelly and I am 33 years old. I have been in New Zealand for nearly 5 months. I moved here from Swansea in Wales with my husband who is 40 and my daughter who is 9. We decided to move to New Zealand two years ago with the aim of having a better family life. We also felt that we did not want our daughter to grow up in the UK due to the difficulties facing the youths in Britain.
Initially the decision to move came as a result of my husband having a bad day in work. He came home and spent the evening trwaling around on the Internet. Then out of the blue he said "let's move to New Zealand" and I said ok. Despite the sudden urge to move here we decided that we would need to visit the country for two reasons. One was to see if we would really want to move here and the other reason was to sell the idea to our daughter who was 7 years old at the time. Anyway we cashed in our savings and came here on holiday. We fell in love with the country and really did not want to go back to the UK when our holiday was over.

On our return to the UK we submitted our EOI and were subsequently selected (on my husbands qualifications). We went through the medicals and were told by the panel doctor that she could see no reason why we wouldn't be accepted. How wrong she was. It turned out that I wasn't accepted because my bmi was too high (not mentioned anywhere on the notes related to health retrictions) and I would have to get it to an acceptable level before my application would be approved.

During this time my husband applied for and got a job in New Zealand but was unable to take the post as I had not been approved (you can imagine how guilty I felt). I went on a major diet and was accepted on the 14th of April 2009. Hooray. A year later and we finally made it. We spent 4 months living in an apartment in the city (really wouldn't recommend apartment living for so long) and have just moved into our new home in Glendene which is in Waitakere in the west of Auckland (been here a month)

Now I don't have any family in the UK except the in laws and one really close friend. I thought that coming here and settling down would be a doddle. But it hasn't been. Not for me anyway. Like I said we have been here nearly 5 months. My husband reapplied for and got the job he was originally offered.
My daughter, who was a nightmare for the 1st month, has settled in to her new school, has made friends and is loving it here. That just leaves me. I
thought that when my daughter started in her current school that I would meet other parents that I would get to know and hopefully make friends with. That hasn't happened as I never see the other parents.
So, unlike my husband and daughter, I don't know another living soul in New Zealand (except the people involved in real estate).
This has made it very difficult for me to settle down. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love this country but am very homesick for the small group of people I left behind.

I would love to be able to find someone who I can chat to and maybe meet for coffee to alleviate my boredom as I am sick of my own company.

Sorry about the rant but I really needed to put it out there as I was driving myself nuts
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Old Jun 15th 2010, 11:14 am
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Hi Kelly,

Sounds like your in the same situation as me but I’m still stuck in the uk.
What interests have you got perhaps there might be like minded people/clubs.
Have you thought about doing any volunteering work with a few hours spare while your daughter is at school.
What about doing an evening class at college.
Have you thought about getting a dog, know it sounds silly but they are a great excuse for getting out, they are always keen for a walk and a good way to meet people.
Not sure if I have been any help, but remember keep smiling….
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Old Jun 15th 2010, 12:15 pm
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Thanks for your post Mudplug. Was beginning to wonder if anyone was reading my thread.

I have looked into a college course today and am waiting for information on the course to be forwarded on to me. It's for a qualification (similar) I completed in the UK but thought it would be a good way to get out and meet other people. I have been wracking my brain trying to think about what I could do to enable me to get out there. Hopefully this will do it.

I finally met one of the other parents yesterday at my daughters school and managed to have a conversation albeit quite brief but it's a start. It's been quite difficult as there are never any parents there when I drop my daughter off in the morning. The good thing is my daughters year is having a production at the school on Thursday so will hopefully meet more then.

As for a dog. It's a bit if a sore subject I'm afraid. My husband and daughter would love one but not me. Up until may 2009 we had a dog but unfortunately had to be put to sleep due to complications. He was 16 years old though. So a good age and we had him from a pup.

He and I didn't get on though and I'm afraid he put me off pets for life. It was most definitely a hate hate relationship. I'm afraid I have put my foot down and forbidden pets for life. I'm sure my husband and daughter will get over it soon enough.

Will let you know how I get on
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Old Jun 15th 2010, 12:38 pm
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Its funny but I know exactly how you feel and I haven’t yet move to the otherside of the world, at the mo we live in a small village in Cambridgeshire and it’s the most unfriendly place I have ever lived, we have been here almost 5 years now, but sadly our house has been on the market for 6 months and still no sale. So although we have visas they may expire before we set foot on nz soil.

Pleased to hear you have been looking into a course, making the first move sometimes is all you need to start feeling a little more positive about things. Is there any help needed in your daughters school, reading with the little ones, cooking classes etc.
Is your daughter interested in any clubs, music, dancing or sports?

Staying positive can be hard but at least your have made the first step in sorting out your situation and I do wish you all the best.

Keep in touch, let us know how you get on….
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Old Jun 15th 2010, 12:57 pm
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I know exactly how you feel with regards to the sale of your house. We put ours on the market in March 2009 and didn't complete until the 2nd week in January this year. We had booked our flights for the 26th so was really cutting it fine. Thought we would have to leave the sale in the hands of my father in law. Luckily things worked out there. Wasn't so lucky with what we ended up selling it for though. We had put it on the market for 109,950 and ended up selling for 92,000. The market crashing was a right kick in the teeth. Our visas were due to expire in April so couldn't really delay much longer.
Things will work out, just think positive.
How long have you got left on your visas by the way?

I did give the girl guides a call today as my daughter is very keen to join. They were supposed to call me back so I could have a chat to them with regards to fees etc. But never had the call so I will try again tomorrow. Will volunteer once she has settled in to her troop.

Please keep me posted on your progress in the UK. I wish you the best of luck xx
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Old Jun 15th 2010, 3:19 pm
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I sometimes wonder why we started the whole process and even to this day we are very torn as to staying here or taking the gamble of leaving all we know and go.
Should say you were cutting it fine with your dates, luckly we have time on our side regarding the visas at the moment, I applied for them today so should be in possession of them soon then the 12 months to get stamped, the only thing against us time wise is our kids education and exams, if we leave it to long we will be disrupting one or perhaps two of them as gcse’s loom!
You were lucky having the in-laws to help you out if things didn’t work out with your time scales, my husbands mum is the only relative we both have and she lives to far away to be in the position to help us out in that respect, and as shes not to keen on us going I’m not sure it would be help she offered.
I have a very good friend of mine who left for oz 9 months ago she got her kids into the local surf club and managed to meet tons of people, but found the meet ups arranged by this site very useful as well.

Let us know how you get on.
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Old Jun 19th 2010, 10:40 am
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Hi Kelly33

I had to write after reading your post. How your feeling is exactly what I'm afraid of. I'm still in the UK at the mo. Husband been offered a job but the bloke wants to look into the immigration part from his side, so we're not counting our chickens yet!

Although I hope to move I'm really scared of being lonely while he is at work. I live just over the road from my mum and shes always doing bits for me. I know I'm gonna find it really hard. I do have a dog for company but rather than get me out he sort of keeps me in. I hate going out and leaving him at home, I panic that someone will get in and let him out! I know, I know... but what can I say... I'm a worry pants and I love my little boy

Hopefully we will make it over to NZ, hubbys job would be as a mobile engineer but I think the company is based in the Northshore area. Not sure if thats near you but if not at least I've found someone to chat to on here.

Sure everything will be fine for you, just takes time
Leanne x
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Old Jun 19th 2010, 1:41 pm
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Hi Leanne and kelly33, we´ll be in North Shore from late July onwards at the current rate, love to meet, we have the two of us and three girls (12, 9 and 4)...or chat on here if not!

Simon & Amanda
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Old Jun 19th 2010, 11:16 pm
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Originally Posted by simonsi
Hi Leanne and kelly33, we´ll be in North Shore from late July onwards at the current rate, love to meet, we have the two of us and three girls (12, 9 and 4)...or chat on here if not!

Simon & Amanda
Hi Kelly33 and Simonsi, I live on the Shore and I was thinking that it would be nice to meet other people especially new comers to NZ. I have been here for a while and while I have met lots of people through work its not always possible to make close friends, not that the Kiwis are unfriendly or anything like that. I would like to setup a netball team or some such activity that will get people together and make friends. If you would like to meet up let me know. I have just enrolled on to a nursing course hopefully this will move me into a totally different career from my current social work role and I'll be able to make more friends so I think your right to look at doing a course.

Genyta
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Old Jun 20th 2010, 10:42 am
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Originally Posted by simonsi
Hi Leanne and kelly33, we´ll be in North Shore from late July onwards at the current rate, love to meet, we have the two of us and three girls (12, 9 and 4)...or chat on here if not!

Simon & Amanda
Hey Simon and Amanda

Best of luck with your move, hope all goes well. Be great to have someone to chat to on here about how your finding the whole moving thing and the area... hopefully we wont be far behind you
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Old Jun 20th 2010, 11:27 am
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Hi Simon and Amanda. I hope that your move goes smoothly and I wish you the best of luck. Would love to meet up with you some time once you are settled. I'm living out west (waitakere) but could always meet you in the city for coffee or a spot of lunch if you are up to it.
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Old Jun 20th 2010, 11:47 am
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Hi Leanne. I realise that it is a very big step to make leaving everything and everybody you know and love behind but you will soon settle in. The good thing about your situation is that you have a young child. There are plenty of mother and toddler groups around where you can meet up with other mums.

I can't say that I completely understand what you are going through as I didn't leave any really close family behind. I did however leave my best friend behind. The great thing is that I am still able to talk to her on quite a regular basis thank to sites like facebook and skype (the Internet is a great thing).

What we did before we left was to make sure that everyone we wanted to keep in contact with had all the software up and running before we left. The biggest problem we had was the time difference. It's a nightmare at the moment as the clocks went forward in the UK and back in NZ. It's much easier when it goes the other way.

The point I'm trying to make is that there are wats to enable you to keep in touch with your nearest and dearest. If not by the Internet then by post. A letter from here takes 4 days to get to the UK although it does take a bit longer coming the other way.

Anyway keep your chin up. Things will work out for you. Since I started this thread I have made a couple of new friends which has made things a lot better for me. I'm not feeling as isolated any more.

At least you can say you tried living on another country even if you do eventually end up moving back. Which is more than a lot of other people can say.

I'm living out west (waitakere) but woul love to meet up in the city when you are settled. If you are up for it. Just give me a shout when you get out here.

Wishing you and your family all the best in your move xx
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Old Jun 20th 2010, 11:50 am
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Hi Gentya. Would love to meet up sometime. Just give me a shout and we'll arrange to meet up
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Old Jun 20th 2010, 1:58 pm
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Great, I´ve expanded my buddy list, we´ll sort somethng out post-arrival
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Old Jun 20th 2010, 4:18 pm
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Thanks Kelly

Its great to hear words of support, I so often find myself wondering why we decided to go through all this, but as you said we want to give it a try at least. We have decided if it doesnt feel right we are young enough to come home and start again but we dont want to forever be wondering 'what if'.

Have to confess, and you will think I'm silly but when I refer to my little man I am actually talking about my Bert... a two year old boxer dog

I'm sure I'll spend a lot more of my time on facebook and we will have to sort out the skype thing. Great to hear the post doesnt take long to reach the uk as my other nan is not going to get on with computers!

Great to know that people are so willing to meet up, I feel better about it all already. Just hope he gets the job now
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