thedtb

Ok, so we knew this Christmas was going to be a bit strange... we're in a new country, renting a large house with not much more than our camping equipment (and a TV that we've since bought) whilst we're waiting for our container to arrive (ETA Jan 22nd)... oh, and the Christmas tree we've put up... it's also our first "hot" Christmas which in itself is taking a little getting used to as the reports from our home in the UK is that it's snowed in, yet again!!

But, where has Christmas gone??

The town's Christmas Parade was nothing more than the local business cars/vans in procession with little (if anything) in the way of tinsel and "Christmas".

The kids at the school my wife is teaching at were prevented from singing Christmas Carols, other than Silent Night (Why?), through a fear of upsetting other religions present in the school (does anyone actually know another religion and/or person who is offended by Christmas??). Most surprisingly at all, the wife tells me there was absolutely no teaching the kids in terms of the over-riding message of Christmas, let alone any vague acknowledgement that it is a Catholic celebration.

The local town has very little in the way of Christmas decorations, it appears only a small number of shops have made any recogniseable attempt (and in most cases the attempts are lame) to acknowledge that something called Christmas is happening.

We decided we'd go and see "A Christmas Carol" (Jim Carrey) this week in an effort to get out of the house and do/experience something "Christmassy"... we were passing the Cinema at the weekend so thought we'd double check times... ignoring the fact there were no posters of the film outside in we went.... no posters inside either.... strange.... a quick check with the girl on the counter and surprise surprise they're no longer showing the film.... IT'S ONLY A BLOODY CHRISTMAS FILM!!! Who in their right mind decides not to be showing a Christmas film at bleedin' Christmas????

Much to our amazement we've checked online and it seems the only cinemas showing this film this week are in Auckland and the west country? So the whole country must have no interest in watching a Christmas film at Christmas?? Surely not!?

They (the local cinema at least) can't even argue that their film rota has moved on as from vague recollection they're still showing films that were released prior to A Christmas Carol.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a religious freak. Hell I may have been christened when I was a baby, but after having had religion forced upon me when I was younger, I now count myself as a staunch non-believer, but that being said I know and understand the story and overriding message of Christmas and recognise and respect that it has a far deeper meaning (than it has for me) to other people.

I want my kids to also know the story and understand the meaning of Christmas and I want them to recognise the fact that it is afterall a religious celebration.... but I also want my kids to be aware of celebrations that are practised by and important to other religions and would welcome them being taught about different religions at school, not, for the sake of all that is right, have them stopped from singing Christmas Carols because it might offend!

I want my kids to be excited at the prospect of Christmas, not just the commercial aspects, but the magic and "togetherness" of it too... but from what we've experienced so far, unless we drive this home at... er... home (which we obviously will) they're not going to get any of it from elsewhere?!

Perhaps its just the town we're in... perhaps it's just the school the wife is teaching at... perhaps Christmas Films are just not popular at Christmas in New Zealand... perhaps it's because we still (despite our best efforts) know precious few people nearby.... but... what on earth do you people (people in NZ) do to celebrate Christmas?


Rant over, I'm traditionally a bit of a bah-humbug at Christmas when it comes to totting up the expense... but even I'm finding myself seriously disappointed at how un-festive Christmas appears to be in NZ.

We're both feeling really quite disappointed at the moment and can't help wondering if the whole Christmas thing (or lack it) will be cause to go home (by that I mean back to the UK) much much sooner than we ever imagined.... we had relatives in the UK wanting to come out to spend Christmas with us... we declined on the basis that we thought it would be best to celebrate our first Christmas in a new country on our own... boy do we regret that now!

Seriously.... what on earth do people in NZ do to celebrate Christmas and is anyone else experiencing anything like the disappointment that we are?

thedtb

I just posted a message up about Christmas... briefly saw a message about requiring permission from a mod... what's the deal.. first time I remember seeing this?

In the meantime, the post isn't anywhere?

Pollyana

In some forums - like ones specifically for Update threads - we try to keep the threads on topic, so when you post a new thread it has to be approved by a Moderator or Supermoderator. Unfortunately if none of us are around at the time there is sometimes a delay.
Its designed to firstly stop spam, and secondly to ensure that a forum for Updates, such as this one and the similar ones in Canada and Australia, are only populated by threads with updates - rather than enquiries about "will my tv work?" or "can I buy Marmite?" Thats why you got the message

thedtb

Thanks Pollyana.

Having not noticed the message before I was a little thrown out by it. No worries though. It makes sense!

Happy Christmas!

george toni

hi

dont know what thats all about as down here in dunedin we get to celebrate christmas.

Im begining to think reading posts on here that there is a huge difference between the north/south islands and the way things are.

Im just glad we live in the south island for so many reasons.

Might have not so good weather but IMO we have a more laid back lifestyle.
Im talking city for city here not burb for burb.

george

Genesis

You won't find it. Its been missing the last 4 years. I have looked everywhere.

TeamEmbo

Welcome to your 1st Christmas in NZ!

Sorry to hear your feeling out of sorts. It is different, for sure, and as you've already found the "build up" to Christmas is a lot more subdued than your used to! I found the our first Christmas here odd - this will be our third here and until recently I wasn't feeling at all festive. But then I guess it is odd as being from UK we've grown up with a totally different kind of Christmas, short days, cold, dark, images of log fires, snowy wintery landscape, shops hyping Christmas from September onwards etc.

But this is NZ, a sparsely populated, developing country where there's not much money to go round at the best of times. So you have to kind of reinvent Christmas, start new traditions to fit and don't expect too much in the way of over-commercialisation of the event.

I don't know about Masterton but in our town the shops don't go overboard on decs. There's is piped music on the townstreet with traditional Christmas songs played - but when its clear blue sky and 24 deg and they're playing I'm dreaming of a white christmas it's just so funny as it just so doesn't work here!

Our Santa Parade sounds similar, the bin trucks with a bit of tinsel on the windscreen, some gorgeous New Foundland dogs with antlers head-dresses, JCBs etc. We also had carols by candlelight in one of the local parks with the local brass band playing in the bandstand and the local 'choir' and kids getting up to join in. All traditional carols. Sunday we went to Christmas at the Races, family day out, free entry, met up with friends and had a wonderful time, nothing at all traditionally festive or Christmassy about it but it was lovely day out. Tonight is Christmas on the town street, late night shopping, a few stalls around, bit of music.

What I've come to realise is, it is whatever you make it. It doesn't matter what's in the Santa Parade, it doesn't matter about the lack of OTT decs, it's that people in the community have bothered to do something and the rest of the town has bothered to turn out and support it, enjoy it, spending time relaxing enjoying the company of your family and friends and neighbours. It doesn't have to be all tinsel and wow and sparkles to be magical.

Christmas isn't just a Catholic celebration. It's a Christian celebration. If you want your kids to know the true meaning of Christmas and celebrate the birth of Jesus, as you say you do, take them to Church. There are plenty of church services, Christingle is a lovely one for the kids.

We've been watching heaps of family Christmassy films on TV so don't worry about going to the cinema. From what our local cinema guy told us there is only so many copies of each film available in NZ so they have to share them round. Sometimes films are out on DVD before we get them out here in a local flicks!

It is hard though as all the usual triggers to get you in the Christmas mood aren't here. Try and find some positives, create new family traditions (ours is having starting the day in the hot tub with bucks fizz, a bbq instead of Turkey dinner, going to the beach bodyboarding on Christmas day and playing family games outside) and make your own magic.

There are benefits, like if you get your kid a new bike for Christmas they can actually go out and ride it for more than 5 minutes before it gets dark or they skid on ice, break an arm and you spend the rest of xmas sitting in A&E. And no more boring gifts of hat, scarf and gloves to pretend you're pleased to receive, lol!

I guess it's only natural we'll be nostalgic for the Christmas we grew up with. I hope you manage to find some ways to enjoy your Christmas here.

bdclayton

I think its just strange to be warm at this time of year.
But I am glad I am not in the UK Its bloody freezing there.
I get what you mean about the lack of Christmas feeling / spirit i guess its what you make of it yourself that counts.
Last year we were in Dresden at the German Christmas Markets and we loved it all the mulled wine and and proper hand made toys
This year we will enjoy it just as much but in a different way.
My wife is a Nurse at a Acute Mental Health Unit and spent yesterday phoning around patients relatives to see if they could go home for Christmas day the ones that were passed fit enough and not dangerous by the doctors She came home quite upset that not one person wanted there relative Mother / Farther home for Christmas
This is not just a NZ thing it happens in the UK people don't want there Christmas day spoiled by having a sick relative at home especially one with Mental Health issues.
This sort of thing can happen to anyone it could be my turn next
Guess what i am getting at is there is always someone worse off just enjoy yourselves
MERRY CHRISTMAS

bourbon-biscuit

I think it's tough for you and Christmas is eluding you because of your house being empty and not knowing enough ppl locally. Don't look for a UK Christmas though, it's not here! Remember that noone is desperate for some light relief from short days and bad weather so Christmas isn't such a big deal to start with. I suspect if you're keen on imparting the 'true' meaning of Christmas on to your kids then NZ might be a better place to do it as it's less commercialised and more about spending time with family/whanau. In time you'll come to associate Christmas with long summer days and shops shut, flowering pohutukawas and sunscreen, garden parties and school's out for summer! You lose the taste for heavy rich Christmas treats and start to think pavlova sounds nice. In time it doesn't bother you that you don't see the lights until it's dark because that's just the way it is ...

Make your own traditions, even if it feels hard this year your kids will thank you for it next year. Christmas is really all about kids imo so we just do stuff that we know will make them happy memories and the Christmas feeling kind of follows. Christmas picnics on beaches are nice- with santa hats and tinsel for the kids, driving around the town when it's dark with Christmas songs on looking at the lit up houses makes the kids happy too as does Christmas craft activities! Look for the Kids Kiwi Xmas songs CD as most Kiwi kids know the songs on there and you'll give your smalls a heads up in Kiwi Xmas- buy a copy of the Kiwi 'night before Xmas' and share it on Xmas eve (we do this every year and they make the little batch that came with it- they LOVE it!). Our town has a Christmas market type thing full of craft bits too and also there are carols in the town hall. Taking the kids out for coffee somewhere that sells festive looking Xmas treats is fun for them too.

Lastly, Xmas is a great way to get to know your neighbours and so on as open invites to pop round are easy to offer along with a Christmas card. Good luck- I hope you get into Kiwi Christmas, I honestly think it's far superior to the UK version

thedtb

That all makes complete sense... I suppose we just hadn't contemplated it beforehand so it's come as a little shock.


Good point.

That sounds wonderful. It reminds me of a few years back when my FIL and the other people who live where he does (an old farm, with the barns converted in to 4 houses)... organised for a some Carol Singers... the houses (all very quaint) surround a small courtyard and the Carol Service took place, lit by candles, in the courtyard with the residents and their friends all sharing mulled wine, various snacks and so on...

It'd be really great to replicate that, even just vaguely, here, but I've not seen anything advertised and I guess we're just not well connected enough yet to hear about it on the grapevine.

I agree... it doesn't matter about about the parade and decorations and so on and I agree that it is what we make it... rest assured that we'll be bending over backwards to ensure that it's as enjoyable a time as possible for our two boys (4 and 2)... but with no family around, little in the way of friends (within reasonable travelling distance at least) and absolutely no interaction with neighbours... granted we've not yet gone knocking on doors to introduce ourselves (is that acceptable here?)... other than entertaining the boys (which we will do, and do well) there's little else in *it* for us so far.

This may be a sign of my ignorance - and I hope I don't offend anyone in asking this question - but what's the difference?

I was christened as a youngster, went to Catholic schools for my entire primary and secondary education, and consider myself to have been a "practising" Christian in years gone by.

However I've never really contemplated your inference that there's a difference... Are there really Christians who are not Catholics, or Catholics who are not Christians and if so how is Christmas different to either group?

We were talking about this the other day and we probably will.

What time do those films start? That's another thing about NZ that frustrates us...

Tonight for example, Santa Clause 2 (The Movie) is on TV. Great! A Christmas film to watch! Except our kids are only 4 and 2 and they're usually well and truly asleep by 8 o'clock.

I'm sorry to be blunt. But showing a "family" film (especially one more than suitable for the younger members of the family) from 20:00 is just stupid. Woah look, as I'm typing this, an advert for Happy Feet (showing on Christmas Day) has just been shown.

It's probably our eldest's favourite film (after "The Polar Express")... it's on at 19:25... eh?... it's just wrong... with adverts this must surely be on for almost 2 hours. There's no way our two will manage it, and even if they try (as any parent with young kids will surely testify) they just won't function the day after (and will make our lives hell) if they're not in bed by a reasonable time.

Are we unreasonable putting our kids to bed at 19:30? (although with storytime and singing it's usually closer to 20:00 when we "leave" them).

There's precious little on TV in the day time too. Although the "family" evening movie is advertised frequently enough, which simply causes us to have to apologise to the 4yr old in explaining that it'll be on too late for him to watch.

And let's not even get started on the Kid's TV in the daytime that appears to run for a cycle of perhaps something like 3 hours and then repeat continuously throughout the day... Hell, on more than one occassion I've turned the TV off in the morning (contrary to the impression this post is giving we're not TV addicts, we do plenty other things than sit and watch TV and we like to control how much TV the boys watch to ensure they've a relatively balanced "entertainment") and then turned it back on in the afternoon to see almost the same point in the same program that was being shown as when I turned the TV off!!

I mean come on... it's a pain in the butt to have to pay for a TV licence back in the UK... but it's much better than this tosh.


It is, very hard. It's also going to be a bit of a struggle to incept new traditions given our circumstances at the moment, but I'm (we're) really hoping they come in time!

Hadn't thought about that, but that's an excellent point!

So do we. And let me say that (as you've no doubt gathered from the tone of my responses) we are indeed "down" at the moment... but... we're far from out and, not that easily defeated.

Where we're from in the UK (just on the edge of the Pennines in South Yorkshire) we got snowed in every year. I believe the house is currently snowed in too.

As frustrating as it often was, it was exciting too (especially with the boys) and somewhat of an adventure. Yes it's absolutely weird having hot weather at this time of year, but we were prepared for that. What we weren't prepared for though is just how much we'd miss the snow and cold of home.

And it's becoming all the more apparent too!

That's so sad.


Indeed.

That's an interesting take on it and makes a lot of sense.

Ha! On our first trip to a supermarket in NZ I was disappointed by the lack of choice in terms of deserts... still am to an extent but figure we'll just have to make them ourselves - which is fine... but I kept seeing lots of big "things" called "Pavlova"... never heard of it and you've just reminded me that I've still not picked one up. Perhaps I will grow to like Pavlova at Christmas... but I guess I need to taste it first.. incidentally what is it? It's obviously something involving meringue, but what else - the ones I've seen just appear to be big round mounds of meringue?

The wife told me a joke the other day...
Cheeky cow!

Thanks for all your (everyone's) suggestions, we'll do our best to take them onboard.

That's an excellent idea too.

I've been wondering about the best way to approach the neighbours... they all seem to keep themselves to themselves and I've yet to pass one in the street. I've contemplated going and knocking on each of their doors with a view to introducing myself but can't (in my head) get passed the lame opening line of "Hello, I'm new. Will you be my friend?"

Christmas cards will make that much easier!

Why didn't I think of that?!

IngStina

Why not record the movies and let your children watch them the next morning? All the best of the season to you and your family,

Kristina

j19fmm

Catholics are not the only Christians! What about Protestants, Church of England, Church of Scotland, Methodist...etc
Christmas is what you make it and if not having a British style Christmas is enough to drive you back to the UK, then perhaps you're in the wrong place.
And as for celebrating Christmas in UK schools, there are tons of schools who don't 'do' Christmas because of different beliefs.
Hope you have a good one whatever you decide to do.

bdclayton

I had never thought about the times the films start until you pointed it out
Yep they are on way to late for the young kids. The NZ television is really pants and maybe like us you don't have a video recorder so cant record the films that are on late.
That is if you can find anything worth recording.
Hey why am i talking about the TV ? I am off outside to have my breakfast in the sunshine. NZ does have some good points.

BEVS

I find the above a bit bizarre to be honest. Is it a wind up? Obviously the two words do not have one and the same meaning.

Catholicism is one of many religions to have evolved.

Christians believe that JC is a Messiah regardless of which religeous denomination they may choose to follow - or not follow.

Some religions do not believe that JC is a Messiah.

Some faiths have nothing to do with a bible at all .

garfield250

I was christened as a youngster, went to Catholic schools for my entire primary and secondary education, and consider myself to have been a "practising" Christian in years gone by.

However I've never really contemplated your inference that there's a difference... Are there really Christians who are not Catholics, or Catholics who are not Christians and if so how is Christmas different to either group?

Catholicism is just one of many Christian denominations, Church of Scotland, Church of England, Roman Catholic, Presbytarian, Anglican etc. etc. the religious doctrine is Christ's teachings hence Christian...............

Therefore there are Christians who are not Catholics, BUT Catholics are Christians.

I do not think that there was an inference that their was a difference, just the the poster pointed out that Christmas was not solely a Catholic celebration but a Christian celebration enveloping all Christian beliefs that follow Christ's teachings.

I am not overtly religious just after years of attending Catholic school, my headteacher reckoned that I was a lost cause!!