Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Feb 23rd 2012, 6:35 am
#91
By name and by nature
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,852
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
At the end of November we will have been in NZ two years. Whilst basically enjoying life here as a retired couple, we have found it really hard to make new friends here as I am sure loads of people in our position have done before us. We have met & made friends walking our dog on the beach but generally they don't seem to become socialising friends. Don't get me wrong, we have made a few friends we can go for meals with - we are not completely 'Billy-no mates', ha ha!!!
I do voluntary work, go to an international coffee morning regularly, tried a community club for older people, got a flea in my ear and was spoken to like a ten year old by one individual so that put paid to that!!! So we are both not sitting at home waiting for it to happen. Not sure what else to try, not having been in this position before, always had a lovely circle of friends in the UK, of course made over a long period of time.
I wondered if there was any older people out there that had made this amazing journey later in life and how they dealt with it. Would love to hear from anyone who has been there.
Have to say, I feel very lucky to live in such a lovely area so close to great beaches etc.
Cheers
Joan
I do voluntary work, go to an international coffee morning regularly, tried a community club for older people, got a flea in my ear and was spoken to like a ten year old by one individual so that put paid to that!!! So we are both not sitting at home waiting for it to happen. Not sure what else to try, not having been in this position before, always had a lovely circle of friends in the UK, of course made over a long period of time.
I wondered if there was any older people out there that had made this amazing journey later in life and how they dealt with it. Would love to hear from anyone who has been there.
Have to say, I feel very lucky to live in such a lovely area so close to great beaches etc.
Cheers
Joan
PM me if you'd like to meet up.
Feb 24th 2012, 1:36 am
#92
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Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Was East Sussex, Now Titirangi, Auckland.
Posts: 771
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
I've been here for 3 years in july and have found that it is indeed really hard to find friends. It might be down to the jobs I've had being made redundant after just 9 months from first job then working in an office of just 3 women, 35k from home. Now I've moved to a job just 10 minutes from home and am part of a team of a big organisation so who knows. I know that if I drank or had a lot of spare cash, then I'd maybe of been able to make friends but neither of these are any longer me, so I therefore bide my time and wait and see.
It does get you down sometimes though.
It does get you down sometimes though.
Feb 24th 2012, 3:24 am
#93
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,298
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
I've been here for 3 years in july and have found that it is indeed really hard to find friends. It might be down to the jobs I've had being made redundant after just 9 months from first job then working in an office of just 3 women, 35k from home. Now I've moved to a job just 10 minutes from home and am part of a team of a big organisation so who knows. I know that if I drank or had a lot of spare cash, then I'd maybe of been able to make friends but neither of these are any longer me, so I therefore bide my time and wait and see.
It does get you down sometimes though.
It does get you down sometimes though.
We have made some friends but out of sheer tenacity and dogedness which has always been our way. We have a good busy social life but again we do most of the running and people are always happy to come to our place to eat which suits us fine as we find baby sitters even harder to come by!
Feb 24th 2012, 12:09 pm
#94
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2010
Location: Nelson
Posts: 275
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Have found the complete opposite to be true. We have had more success re: friendships with local kiwis.....and Aussies.......and Americans. Not an x-pat in site! This applies in Christchurch and our second year in Nelson...my son aged 13 says the same
Feb 25th 2012, 2:27 am
#95
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: In a large village called Auckland
Posts: 5,249
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Feb 25th 2012, 4:10 am
#96
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2010
Location: Nelson
Posts: 275
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Tee hee
I guess whenever I think of ex-pats I always think of Brits...maybe because they are the only ex-pats we've met off this site...had a bit of wine last night, only just about remember I did this before bed...hic!
I guess whenever I think of ex-pats I always think of Brits...maybe because they are the only ex-pats we've met off this site...had a bit of wine last night, only just about remember I did this before bed...hic!
May 3rd 2012, 10:39 am
#97
Just Joined
Joined: May 2012
Location: Albany, North Shore
Posts: 7
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
It makes me feel a bit better in a way that I'm not the only one finding it hard to make friends over here. I do miss my circle of friends back home in the UK very much. You'd think it would be quite easy as I'm at uni, but I work on my own in an office so it's not the same as being 'with' other students!
May 5th 2012, 9:26 pm
#98
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2011
Location: Paraparaumu Beach
Posts: 59
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Hi
We have had a mixed experience with kiwis, when we were renting they were unfriendly and wouldn't acknowledge us.Now we have our own home with lovely friendly neighbours on each side who seem to have adopted us.
We also go to the quiz night at the local pub and have met lots of people this way, it is a really good way to meet people.
We have had a mixed experience with kiwis, when we were renting they were unfriendly and wouldn't acknowledge us.Now we have our own home with lovely friendly neighbours on each side who seem to have adopted us.
We also go to the quiz night at the local pub and have met lots of people this way, it is a really good way to meet people.
May 6th 2012, 10:41 pm
#99
Just Joined
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 10
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
As a kiwi living in the uk for 16 years I can say that all the comments made about kiwis are exactly the same and can be made about the brits in the uk. They made me chuckle.
NZ and the UK are completly different cultures thou similar.
I think that you have friends and equaintances. True friends are very rare and hard to find in my experience but worth the effort. And its not till you find a true friend that you realize who the equaintances are.
NZ and the UK are completly different cultures thou similar.
I think that you have friends and equaintances. True friends are very rare and hard to find in my experience but worth the effort. And its not till you find a true friend that you realize who the equaintances are.
May 7th 2012, 12:13 am
#100
.
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Peterborough, Cambridgeshire
Posts: 2,744
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
As a kiwi living in the uk for 16 years I can say that all the comments made about kiwis are exactly the same and can be made about the brits in the uk. They made me chuckle.
NZ and the UK are completly different cultures thou similar.
I think that you have friends and equaintances. True friends are very rare and hard to find in my experience but worth the effort.
"And its not till you find a true friend that you realize who the equaintances are."
NZ and the UK are completly different cultures thou similar.
I think that you have friends and equaintances. True friends are very rare and hard to find in my experience but worth the effort.
"And its not till you find a true friend that you realize who the equaintances are."
May 11th 2012, 12:02 pm
#101
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2008
Location: Hawkes Bay
Posts: 185
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Having moved countries many times in my life, I agree it is hard to make friends & I think this is more noticeable in Auckland. I have found other parts of NZ friendlier, not sure why because many people living in Auckland have moved here from elsewhere.
Also anyone living in any particular place for most of their life usually has family & long standing childhood or Uni friends so it can be hard making friends with people that already have a full circle of family & friends especially if they have busy lives.
It would also appear that people are friendlier in less affluent suburbs.
Also anyone living in any particular place for most of their life usually has family & long standing childhood or Uni friends so it can be hard making friends with people that already have a full circle of family & friends especially if they have busy lives.
It would also appear that people are friendlier in less affluent suburbs.
May 13th 2012, 1:20 am
#102
Forum Regular
Joined: Dec 2010
Location: west yorkshire - heading for Cambridge NZ
Posts: 133
In and out of Life
Hello Joan,
We left the Uk late last year when my other half was 4 months pregnant. I attended an aunties funeral and wwas lucky enough to see mum leave intensive care and return home. Since this time we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl in the N.Shore hospital. I have bumped into 3 new pom couples in New world shopping and followed up here having tea and biccies and getting to know each other on the spot. I deal in shaping infrastructure and Julie is a tranportation engineer. We have travelled the world as individuals and will settle here for good and build an eco house....there is a book coming here !!...........so, your'e more than welcome to come over for a cuppa, we are renting the house Pamela stephenson grew up in. (Billy Conollys wife). You can get me on [email protected] are just up from Takapuna beach at Hauraki corner........never short of friends round here !!!.........bring the jaffa cakes with you !!
We left the Uk late last year when my other half was 4 months pregnant. I attended an aunties funeral and wwas lucky enough to see mum leave intensive care and return home. Since this time we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl in the N.Shore hospital. I have bumped into 3 new pom couples in New world shopping and followed up here having tea and biccies and getting to know each other on the spot. I deal in shaping infrastructure and Julie is a tranportation engineer. We have travelled the world as individuals and will settle here for good and build an eco house....there is a book coming here !!...........so, your'e more than welcome to come over for a cuppa, we are renting the house Pamela stephenson grew up in. (Billy Conollys wife). You can get me on [email protected] are just up from Takapuna beach at Hauraki corner........never short of friends round here !!!.........bring the jaffa cakes with you !!
Jun 23rd 2012, 12:54 am
#103
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 167
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Hi
I can relate to lots of comments on here. We have been here 7 years now and I am really starting to feel very isolated and lonely
I have a couple of friends (both English) but I too find that friendships are extremely hard to make. We live in a rural area which may make it more difficult. I have had 2 jobs and completed a degree since being here which hasn't opened any doors social wise.
I thought we would make friends through school - but we only have 1 left in school so that's obviously not going to be the case.
Feeling a bit sorry for myself I guess!
I can relate to lots of comments on here. We have been here 7 years now and I am really starting to feel very isolated and lonely
I have a couple of friends (both English) but I too find that friendships are extremely hard to make. We live in a rural area which may make it more difficult. I have had 2 jobs and completed a degree since being here which hasn't opened any doors social wise.
I thought we would make friends through school - but we only have 1 left in school so that's obviously not going to be the case.
Feeling a bit sorry for myself I guess!
Jun 23rd 2012, 5:06 am
#104
Forum Regular
Joined: Dec 2010
Location: west yorkshire - heading for Cambridge NZ
Posts: 133
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Best get the chicken int the oven, the yorkies on the plate and the invites in the mail ! 
Hi
I can relate to lots of comments on here. We have been here 7 years now and I am really starting to feel very isolated and lonely
I have a couple of friends (both English) but I too find that friendships are extremely hard to make. We live in a rural area which may make it more difficult. I have had 2 jobs and completed a degree since being here which hasn't opened any doors social wise.
I thought we would make friends through school - but we only have 1 left in school so that's obviously not going to be the case.
Feeling a bit sorry for myself I guess!
I can relate to lots of comments on here. We have been here 7 years now and I am really starting to feel very isolated and lonely
I have a couple of friends (both English) but I too find that friendships are extremely hard to make. We live in a rural area which may make it more difficult. I have had 2 jobs and completed a degree since being here which hasn't opened any doors social wise.
I thought we would make friends through school - but we only have 1 left in school so that's obviously not going to be the case.
Feeling a bit sorry for myself I guess!
Jun 23rd 2012, 7:04 am
#105
`
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 38,611
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Someone has written about how they feel after 7 years. When did you arrive?