Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
#76
slanderer of the innocent
Joined: Dec 2008
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 6,695
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Vancouverites are like that too. I've never talked about sex/relationships/<insertname of private topic here> so much in my life with so many people I didn't know @ work. HAHA. It's different all right. I found it really, really challenging initially - I mean, this is stuff I would only discuss with my BFF in NZ.
having said that,I'm now at a company with a lot of immigrants and the conversation is much more PC, I think because people are so afraid of offending those from more conservative cultures.
having said that,I'm now at a company with a lot of immigrants and the conversation is much more PC, I think because people are so afraid of offending those from more conservative cultures.
#77
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Speaking as a Mancunian,I know how friendly people can be in the North of England. Friendliness of people was one of the main reasons we chose to emigrate to NZ over other countries(2 yrs ago now)
I have also lived in London for 10 yrs, Cornwall (8) & North Yorkshire(10) where I met my lovely hubbie & had our beautiful son
I have 3 close mancunian friends, 2 Londoners & 3 good friends I made in Yorkshire. I enjoyed living in Cornwall the least because I found people generally closed & unfriendly...although 2 out of the 3 friends I made there are Cornish
I do believe good friends are hard to come by, but worth waiting for. I have felt some close connections in NZ to kiwis, not to people from the UK on the whole, although I've met a few very nice people from this site. Just because we are a homogeneous group of people doesn't mean we will automatically make that connection that develops. it is a far more complex recipe.
All my close friends I've known for a minimum of 10yrs, to meet a true friend involves being patient & laid back is a good place to be
I still feel curious, open & interested in meeting new people, but know it takes time. Stay positive or kia kaha as they say out here
I have also lived in London for 10 yrs, Cornwall (8) & North Yorkshire(10) where I met my lovely hubbie & had our beautiful son
I have 3 close mancunian friends, 2 Londoners & 3 good friends I made in Yorkshire. I enjoyed living in Cornwall the least because I found people generally closed & unfriendly...although 2 out of the 3 friends I made there are Cornish
I do believe good friends are hard to come by, but worth waiting for. I have felt some close connections in NZ to kiwis, not to people from the UK on the whole, although I've met a few very nice people from this site. Just because we are a homogeneous group of people doesn't mean we will automatically make that connection that develops. it is a far more complex recipe.
All my close friends I've known for a minimum of 10yrs, to meet a true friend involves being patient & laid back is a good place to be
I still feel curious, open & interested in meeting new people, but know it takes time. Stay positive or kia kaha as they say out here
#78
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 0
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Hi Hippygran, I was just being nosy & looking at your profile (part of me getting to grips with being a mod ) & I noticed that one of your interests is the theatre. Have you thought of volunteering? We are always looking for people to help out at Centrestage Theatre in Orewa. We have volunteers from youngsters to pensioners. We have made so many friends through this & just wondered if you would be interested.
I'm more than happy to meet you & show you around if you would like. Just a thought
I'm more than happy to meet you & show you around if you would like. Just a thought
#79
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: I live in Torbay
Posts: 95
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Hi Hippygran, I was just being nosy & looking at your profile (part of me getting to grips with being a mod ) & I noticed that one of your interests is the theatre. Have you thought of volunteering? We are always looking for people to help out at Centrestage Theatre in Orewa. We have volunteers from youngsters to pensioners. We have made so many friends through this & just wondered if you would be interested.
I'm more than happy to meet you & show you around if you would like. Just a thought
I'm more than happy to meet you & show you around if you would like. Just a thought
J
#81
Just Joined
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 3
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Hello Hippygran
I'm brand new to this forum,and living in the U.K.I'm 60 and lived with my husband and children in NZ from 1987 to 1997 so we are citizens.During our time there i spent many lonely years and my friends were ex pat brits .Friends weren't an issue for my husband being a workaholic.I didn't make any really good friends who were kiwis, mainly because where i lived was parochial, and i found people anti English.
When we returned to the UK,we went to live in London,which was equally difficult,and have no close friends due to us constantly moving.My husband is a contractor and we have moved house virtually every year for past 10 years.The upside is we enjoy some things London has to offer,museums art culture etc,and we have the bonus of bus passes travelling for free round London.I left one son over there,as he met a kiwi girl,and my other son and daughter came here with us.My other son has now returned to NZ.My husband really wants to return to NZ and whilst i'm not that happy here, am wondering how i will make friends as a retired lady, and whether i will be back to square one.I really feel for you,as it is really difficult.Wonder what youre advice is for me.Is there a section for retired ex pats?
I'm brand new to this forum,and living in the U.K.I'm 60 and lived with my husband and children in NZ from 1987 to 1997 so we are citizens.During our time there i spent many lonely years and my friends were ex pat brits .Friends weren't an issue for my husband being a workaholic.I didn't make any really good friends who were kiwis, mainly because where i lived was parochial, and i found people anti English.
When we returned to the UK,we went to live in London,which was equally difficult,and have no close friends due to us constantly moving.My husband is a contractor and we have moved house virtually every year for past 10 years.The upside is we enjoy some things London has to offer,museums art culture etc,and we have the bonus of bus passes travelling for free round London.I left one son over there,as he met a kiwi girl,and my other son and daughter came here with us.My other son has now returned to NZ.My husband really wants to return to NZ and whilst i'm not that happy here, am wondering how i will make friends as a retired lady, and whether i will be back to square one.I really feel for you,as it is really difficult.Wonder what youre advice is for me.Is there a section for retired ex pats?
#82
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Oct 2008
Location: Perth
Posts: 6,775
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Hello Hippygran
I'm brand new to this forum,and living in the U.K.I'm 60 and lived with my husband and children in NZ from 1987 to 1997 so we are citizens.During our time there i spent many lonely years and my friends were ex pat brits .Friends weren't an issue for my husband being a workaholic.I didn't make any really good friends who were kiwis, mainly because where i lived was parochial, and i found people anti English.
When we returned to the UK,we went to live in London,which was equally difficult,and have no close friends due to us constantly moving.My husband is a contractor and we have moved house virtually every year for past 10 years.The upside is we enjoy some things London has to offer,museums art culture etc,and we have the bonus of bus passes travelling for free round London.I left one son over there,as he met a kiwi girl,and my other son and daughter came here with us.My other son has now returned to NZ.My husband really wants to return to NZ and whilst i'm not that happy here, am wondering how i will make friends as a retired lady, and whether i will be back to square one.I really feel for you,as it is really difficult.Wonder what youre advice is for me.Is there a section for retired ex pats?
I'm brand new to this forum,and living in the U.K.I'm 60 and lived with my husband and children in NZ from 1987 to 1997 so we are citizens.During our time there i spent many lonely years and my friends were ex pat brits .Friends weren't an issue for my husband being a workaholic.I didn't make any really good friends who were kiwis, mainly because where i lived was parochial, and i found people anti English.
When we returned to the UK,we went to live in London,which was equally difficult,and have no close friends due to us constantly moving.My husband is a contractor and we have moved house virtually every year for past 10 years.The upside is we enjoy some things London has to offer,museums art culture etc,and we have the bonus of bus passes travelling for free round London.I left one son over there,as he met a kiwi girl,and my other son and daughter came here with us.My other son has now returned to NZ.My husband really wants to return to NZ and whilst i'm not that happy here, am wondering how i will make friends as a retired lady, and whether i will be back to square one.I really feel for you,as it is really difficult.Wonder what youre advice is for me.Is there a section for retired ex pats?
This person had lived in Australia for a number of years prior to returning to England.
Being a Bridge player saved her from a live of tedium and perhaps lonliness in both Oz and has got her into a circle of sorts in NZ.
Just a thought. Good luck.
#83
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 716
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Hello Hippygran
I'm brand new to this forum,and living in the U.K.I'm 60 and lived with my husband and children in NZ from 1987 to 1997 so we are citizens.During our time there i spent many lonely years and my friends were ex pat brits .Friends weren't an issue for my husband being a workaholic.I didn't make any really good friends who were kiwis, mainly because where i lived was parochial, and i found people anti English.
When we returned to the UK,we went to live in London,which was equally difficult,and have no close friends due to us constantly moving.My husband is a contractor and we have moved house virtually every year for past 10 years.The upside is we enjoy some things London has to offer,museums art culture etc,and we have the bonus of bus passes travelling for free round London.I left one son over there,as he met a kiwi girl,and my other son and daughter came here with us.My other son has now returned to NZ.My husband really wants to return to NZ and whilst i'm not that happy here, am wondering how i will make friends as a retired lady, and whether i will be back to square one.I really feel for you,as it is really difficult.Wonder what youre advice is for me.Is there a section for retired ex pats?
I'm brand new to this forum,and living in the U.K.I'm 60 and lived with my husband and children in NZ from 1987 to 1997 so we are citizens.During our time there i spent many lonely years and my friends were ex pat brits .Friends weren't an issue for my husband being a workaholic.I didn't make any really good friends who were kiwis, mainly because where i lived was parochial, and i found people anti English.
When we returned to the UK,we went to live in London,which was equally difficult,and have no close friends due to us constantly moving.My husband is a contractor and we have moved house virtually every year for past 10 years.The upside is we enjoy some things London has to offer,museums art culture etc,and we have the bonus of bus passes travelling for free round London.I left one son over there,as he met a kiwi girl,and my other son and daughter came here with us.My other son has now returned to NZ.My husband really wants to return to NZ and whilst i'm not that happy here, am wondering how i will make friends as a retired lady, and whether i will be back to square one.I really feel for you,as it is really difficult.Wonder what youre advice is for me.Is there a section for retired ex pats?
#84
Just Joined
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 3
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
I have got to say that i am a very youthful (in my mind anyway) 60year old.Went to see the killers live 2 years back,so i am not ready for the knackers yard,and have met people in their early 50s that are much older in their ways.Bridge wouldn't be my thing,but love walking and keeping fit.As you said maybe there should be a club for the older ones!If we came over there we would be in the wellington region.I would like to live in the city where its happening.My husband disagrees and would like a garden
#85
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Oct 2008
Location: Perth
Posts: 6,775
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
I have got to say that i am a very youthful (in my mind anyway) 60year old.Went to see the killers live 2 years back,so i am not ready for the knackers yard,and have met people in their early 50s that are much older in their ways.Bridge wouldn't be my thing,but love walking and keeping fit.As you said maybe there should be a club for the older ones!If we came over there we would be in the wellington region.I would like to live in the city where its happening.My husband disagrees and would like a garden
Wellington sounds like the city to be in if one does decide on New Zealand. By all accounts it has a fairly lively art scene.
You like like me give me the inner city anytime. To have to drive to get a litre of milk for example would do my nut.
Would actually prefer to be auto free as was in London. Still got a lot going for it. Especially the walks and parks along with the stimulation.
But a fan of a few European cities but not the most convenient for living in perhaps.
#86
Just Joined
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 3
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
I live 20mins train ride into London.When i returned from NZ in 1997 i never thought i would cope with all the people traffic etc but you get used to it.When i emmigrated to NZ i had lived all my life in a very quiet spot in the north of England but had done a stint in Belgium and Holland so found life in Wellington very busy,but after living here and being open minded not sure whether i could cope with the parochialism that i experienced when i lived there,in fact some hostility.My son says that hasn't changed.What is Perth like?
#88
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: I live in Torbay
Posts: 95
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
Yes,there are clubs for people of retirement age - such as the 60's up, Probus Club etc. They go on day trips and have guest speakers etc but, to be honest, ther'e not my sort of thing, I prefer to be doing rather than being 'entertained' and, sorry to say but Bridge would bored me rigid. I go to an international coffee morning on a fairly regular basis in which I have met & chatted with people of all ages & nationalities who have made a similar journey as myself which has been helpful but no on-going friendships have materialised. In recent months I and my husband have now started to feel as though NZ is 'home' and I think I am more 'relaxed' about the 'friendship' thing. Still happy to try new things and see where that leads me. Although coming up to 72 (in two weeks), I still love to dance, be silly, have a giggle and just enjoy life whilst I am fit and able to, certainly don't feel in my 70's. So I will keep on walking my beautiful beagle, do my voluntary work and see what else turns up that would catch my interest.
Good luck to all
Joan x
Good luck to all
Joan x
Hello Hippygran
I'm brand new to this forum,and living in the U.K.I'm 60 and lived with my husband and children in NZ from 1987 to 1997 so we are citizens.During our time there i spent many lonely years and my friends were ex pat brits .Friends weren't an issue for my husband being a workaholic.I didn't make any really good friends who were kiwis, mainly because where i lived was parochial, and i found people anti English.
When we returned to the UK,we went to live in London,which was equally difficult,and have no close friends due to us constantly moving.My husband is a contractor and we have moved house virtually every year for past 10 years.The upside is we enjoy some things London has to offer,museums art culture etc,and we have the bonus of bus passes travelling for free round London.I left one son over there,as he met a kiwi girl,and my other son and daughter came here with us.My other son has now returned to NZ.My husband really wants to return to NZ and whilst i'm not that happy here, am wondering how i will make friends as a retired lady, and whether i will be back to square one.I really feel for you,as it is really difficult.Wonder what youre advice is for me.Is there a section for retired ex pats?
I'm brand new to this forum,and living in the U.K.I'm 60 and lived with my husband and children in NZ from 1987 to 1997 so we are citizens.During our time there i spent many lonely years and my friends were ex pat brits .Friends weren't an issue for my husband being a workaholic.I didn't make any really good friends who were kiwis, mainly because where i lived was parochial, and i found people anti English.
When we returned to the UK,we went to live in London,which was equally difficult,and have no close friends due to us constantly moving.My husband is a contractor and we have moved house virtually every year for past 10 years.The upside is we enjoy some things London has to offer,museums art culture etc,and we have the bonus of bus passes travelling for free round London.I left one son over there,as he met a kiwi girl,and my other son and daughter came here with us.My other son has now returned to NZ.My husband really wants to return to NZ and whilst i'm not that happy here, am wondering how i will make friends as a retired lady, and whether i will be back to square one.I really feel for you,as it is really difficult.Wonder what youre advice is for me.Is there a section for retired ex pats?
#90
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Oct 2008
Location: Perth
Posts: 6,775
Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!
I live 20mins train ride into London.When i returned from NZ in 1997 i never thought i would cope with all the people traffic etc but you get used to it.When i emmigrated to NZ i had lived all my life in a very quiet spot in the north of England but had done a stint in Belgium and Holland so found life in Wellington very busy,but after living here and being open minded not sure whether i could cope with the parochialism that i experienced when i lived there,in fact some hostility.My son says that hasn't changed.What is Perth like?
Although Wellington I believe as a bit of a cultured scene I doubt if I could live there. Speaking purely on gut feeling as never been there but NZ wouldn't do it for me .
I lived in Amsterdam for a time in my younger days so cities like that and London remain sort of favourites although things change with time.