Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > New Zealand > NZ Update
Reload this Page >

Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!

Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!

Old Sep 18th 2011, 9:19 pm
  #16  
Forum Regular
 
Tray's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2010
Location: Nelson
Posts: 275
Tray is a glorious beacon of lightTray is a glorious beacon of lightTray is a glorious beacon of lightTray is a glorious beacon of lightTray is a glorious beacon of lightTray is a glorious beacon of lightTray is a glorious beacon of lightTray is a glorious beacon of lightTray is a glorious beacon of lightTray is a glorious beacon of lightTray is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!

Hi Hippygran,

When I lived in Christhcurch my son & I joined a local tai chi group. We both enjoyed it so much...we were the youngest ones there... as it's a gentle form of exercise/dance it does seem to attract older people.

We miss everyone from our group as we all became friends very quickly.. we are looking for a similr group to join.It is something you & your hubby could do together maybe. Good luck
Tray is offline  
Old Sep 20th 2011, 4:22 pm
  #17  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Aug 2011
Location: Auckland
Posts: 67
wendy_woo is just really nicewendy_woo is just really nicewendy_woo is just really nicewendy_woo is just really nicewendy_woo is just really nicewendy_woo is just really nicewendy_woo is just really nicewendy_woo is just really nice
Default Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!

Originally Posted by Hippygran2
At the end of November we will have been in NZ two years. Whilst basically enjoying life here as a retired couple, we have found it really hard to make new friends here as I am sure loads of people in our position have done before us. We have met & made friends walking our dog on the beach but generally they don't seem to become socialising friends. Don't get me wrong, we have made a few friends we can go for meals with - we are not completely 'Billy-no mates', ha ha!!!

Have to say, I feel very lucky to live in such a lovely area so close to great beaches etc.

Cheers

Joan
Good Luck Hippygran2, funny we are retired and submitted application today for Parent residence, we are definately Billy-No-mates in the UK, both had high powered jobs, both children left UK for pastures new, so never had the time to make friends, only the kids friends parents at the school gates and people we came across at work, we cannot wait to get to NZ to find new friends who will enjoy the open life style, so hold on Hippygran2, I will be there in a few years and promise to be one of your new best friends (I know Torbay and yes the beautiful beaches) keep that chin up!!
wendy_woo is offline  
Old Sep 20th 2011, 8:15 pm
  #18  
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: I live in Torbay
Posts: 95
Hippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud of
Default Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!

Originally Posted by Tray
Hi Hippygran,

When I lived in Christhcurch my son & I joined a local tai chi group. We both enjoyed it so much...we were the youngest ones there... as it's a gentle form of exercise/dance it does seem to attract older people.

We miss everyone from our group as we all became friends very quickly.. we are looking for a similr group to join.It is something you & your hubby could do together maybe. Good luck
Thank you Tray for your suggestion, it's given me food for thought, not sure about hubby though. All these ideas that people have kindly posted have made me feel more positive, I think I just needed a kick-start.

Cheers
Joan
Hippygran2 is offline  
Old Sep 20th 2011, 8:27 pm
  #19  
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: I live in Torbay
Posts: 95
Hippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud of
Thumbs up Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!

Originally Posted by wendy_woo
Good Luck Hippygran2, funny we are retired and submitted application today for Parent residence, we are definately Billy-No-mates in the UK, both had high powered jobs, both children left UK for pastures new, so never had the time to make friends, only the kids friends parents at the school gates and people we came across at work, we cannot wait to get to NZ to find new friends who will enjoy the open life style, so hold on Hippygran2, I will be there in a few years and promise to be one of your new best friends (I know Torbay and yes the beautiful beaches) keep that chin up!!
Hi Wendy-woo,

What a lovely post. Good luck with your application (Parent residency is the route we came too, sponsored by my son), it all takes such a long time then to sell your house (if you have to) when your'e really keen to start a new life in NZ ASAP. Hope you will keep in touch and let us know how things are progressing (however slowly). Look forward to meeting you in the not tooooo distant future, I hope.

Many thanks

Joan
Hippygran2 is offline  
Old Sep 21st 2011, 3:22 pm
  #20  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Aug 2011
Location: Auckland
Posts: 67
wendy_woo is just really nicewendy_woo is just really nicewendy_woo is just really nicewendy_woo is just really nicewendy_woo is just really nicewendy_woo is just really nicewendy_woo is just really nicewendy_woo is just really nice
Default Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!

Originally Posted by Hippygran2
Hi Wendy-woo,

What a lovely post. Good luck with your application (Parent residency is the route we came too, sponsored by my son), it all takes such a long time then to sell your house (if you have to) when your'e really keen to start a new life in NZ ASAP. Hope you will keep in touch and let us know how things are progressing (however slowly). Look forward to meeting you in the not tooooo distant future, I hope.

Many thanks

Joan
I hope so, yes we do have to sell our house so we are spending the waiting time getting it ready to sell and emptying the garage/loft/cupboards, been in the same house for 25 years so you can imagine how much we have to clear away! I did look at Torbay as an option to live and really liked it, I am sure me and hubby will be back over to do some more scouting soon, so maybe we can hook up then! Take care and keep smiling!
wendy_woo is offline  
Old Sep 26th 2011, 7:12 pm
  #21  
BE Forum Addict
 
Genesis's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,298
Genesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!

Originally Posted by pcmay10
why do people who are old describe themselves as "older".We are all older but not all old,my 5 year old son is "older" than my 1 year old daughter but he is not old, please say it how it is and not try and take britains pc culture over there,thankyou..
WTF ???????????????????????????????????????? Are you serious?????

Did I miss some joke here?????????????
Genesis is offline  
Old Sep 26th 2011, 7:17 pm
  #22  
BE Forum Addict
 
Genesis's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,298
Genesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond reputeGenesis has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!

Originally Posted by Hippygran2
At the end of November we will have been in NZ two years. Whilst basically enjoying life here as a retired couple, we have found it really hard to make new friends here as I am sure loads of people in our position have done before us. We have met & made friends walking our dog on the beach but generally they don't seem to become socialising friends. Don't get me wrong, we have made a few friends we can go for meals with - we are not completely 'Billy-no mates', ha ha!!!

I do voluntary work, go to an international coffee morning regularly, tried a community club for older people, got a flea in my ear and was spoken to like a ten year old by one individual so that put paid to that!!! So we are both not sitting at home waiting for it to happen. Not sure what else to try, not having been in this position before, always had a lovely circle of friends in the UK, of course made over a long period of time.

I wondered if there was any older people out there that had made this amazing journey later in life and how they dealt with it. Would love to hear from anyone who has been there.

Have to say, I feel very lucky to live in such a lovely area so close to great beaches etc.

Cheers

Joan
I am OLDER than the average emigree, I am now in my early 50s and left the UK when I was 45. I am a kitchen bitch (house husband) and have small kids which you would have thought would have lead to a plethora of long term friendships looking at the huge amount of kiddie clubs I frequented!!!!! Alas not so. Kiwis are a very odd bunch, very very freindly on the surface but woe betide you if you try to get any friendlier. Most of them are also rubbish at returning meals when you have entertained them..they love a freebie!!!
Genesis is offline  
Old Sep 26th 2011, 11:54 pm
  #23  
BE Enthusiast
 
alanmacc's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2008
Location: Rolleston
Posts: 734
alanmacc has a reputation beyond reputealanmacc has a reputation beyond reputealanmacc has a reputation beyond reputealanmacc has a reputation beyond reputealanmacc has a reputation beyond reputealanmacc has a reputation beyond reputealanmacc has a reputation beyond reputealanmacc has a reputation beyond reputealanmacc has a reputation beyond reputealanmacc has a reputation beyond reputealanmacc has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!

Originally Posted by Genesis
I am OLDER than the average emigree, I am now in my early 50s and left the UK when I was 45. I am a kitchen bitch (house husband) and have small kids which you would have thought would have lead to a plethora of long term friendships looking at the huge amount of kiddie clubs I frequented!!!!! Alas not so. Kiwis are a very odd bunch, very very freindly on the surface but woe betide you if you try to get any friendlier. Most of them are also rubbish at returning meals when you have entertained them..they love a freebie!!!
LOL yep I totally agree having a small kid myslef you would have assumed that the interactions of them at pre school and school would forge friendships but like you said they are a funny bunch, really really friendly but really close knit at the same time.

They might not return a meal invite but they do usually bring a decent bottle of wine with them
alanmacc is offline  
Old Oct 20th 2011, 3:11 am
  #24  
Banned
 
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 114
tweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud of
Default Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!

we have found it really hard to make friends here. in fact everything has seemed like an uphill battle. having lived in 8 countries and travelled a fair bit, I am used to feeling like an outsider. But the warm welcome is not here. Found Cape Town the best, what friendly people, cheerful and helpful. NZ is similar to Barbados in the 70s. Parochial and exclusive. The funny thing is the Kiwis are so friendly abroad. One wonders if it is because they need to make that effort in order to get ahead or if the cream of the crop has left NZ. Because the ones left behind can be a bit off! Oh well, we all live and learn.
tweetweet is offline  
Old Oct 20th 2011, 11:07 am
  #25  
BE Forum Addict
 
Bellasmum's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,008
Bellasmum has a reputation beyond reputeBellasmum has a reputation beyond reputeBellasmum has a reputation beyond reputeBellasmum has a reputation beyond reputeBellasmum has a reputation beyond reputeBellasmum has a reputation beyond reputeBellasmum has a reputation beyond reputeBellasmum has a reputation beyond reputeBellasmum has a reputation beyond reputeBellasmum has a reputation beyond reputeBellasmum has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!

Originally Posted by tweetweet
we have found it really hard to make friends here. in fact everything has seemed like an uphill battle. having lived in 8 countries and travelled a fair bit, I am used to feeling like an outsider. But the warm welcome is not here. Found Cape Town the best, what friendly people, cheerful and helpful. NZ is similar to Barbados in the 70s. Parochial and exclusive. The funny thing is the Kiwis are so friendly abroad. One wonders if it is because they need to make that effort in order to get ahead or if the cream of the crop has left NZ. Because the ones left behind can be a bit off! Oh well, we all live and learn.
Tweet I am married to a Brit and we have been married for 37 years. I remember how different we were at first. Mr J was never comfortable visiting anyone even family if an invitation hadn't been arranged. The Kiwi in me didn't need an invite. A bottle of wine and nibbles and a knock on the door was fine. I still to this day do it with new neighbours after they have settled in. I don't invite myself in, but I do the wine and home cooked biscuits. Have you thought about a Kiwi approach ?
Bellasmum is offline  
Old Oct 20th 2011, 5:46 pm
  #26  
Banned
 
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 114
tweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud oftweetweet has much to be proud of
Default Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!

bellasmum hi thanks for your message. Well we never got the 'friendly kiwi approach' from our neighbours so pass on that one! instead we found two lots of neighbours in our garden on various occasions cleaning our fruit trees of all their fruit by the sackful! i was not sure if that is the kiwi way so asked someone who said 'no we dont do that here'!

we really tried when we got here to make an effort and invite people that we met around, for bbqs and tea etc, if they did come round we never got an invite back so now we dont try. we get a lot of 'oh you must come round for a bbq' and 'we must get you round for a meal' but nothing happens. but saying that we have made about four friends - more acquaintances.

Cant complain though because the NZ scenery is beautiful and being on the outside teaches one to be self reliant and resourceful.

Last edited by tweetweet; Oct 20th 2011 at 7:22 pm.
tweetweet is offline  
Old Oct 22nd 2011, 4:19 am
  #27  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Oct 2010
Location: tauranga NZ
Posts: 135
jayandbill has a reputation beyond reputejayandbill has a reputation beyond reputejayandbill has a reputation beyond reputejayandbill has a reputation beyond reputejayandbill has a reputation beyond reputejayandbill has a reputation beyond reputejayandbill has a reputation beyond reputejayandbill has a reputation beyond reputejayandbill has a reputation beyond reputejayandbill has a reputation beyond reputejayandbill has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!

Originally Posted by tweetweet
bellasmum hi thanks for your message. Well we never got the 'friendly kiwi approach' from our neighbours so pass on that one! instead we found two lots of neighbours in our garden on various occasions cleaning our fruit trees of all their fruit by the sackful! i was not sure if that is the kiwi way so asked someone who said 'no we dont do that here'!

we really tried when we got here to make an effort and invite people that we met around, for bbqs and tea etc, if they did come round we never got an invite back so now we dont try. we get a lot of 'oh you must come round for a bbq' and 'we must get you round for a meal' but nothing happens. but saying that we have made about four friends - more acquaintances.

Cant complain though because the NZ scenery is beautiful and being on the outside teaches one to be self reliant and resourceful.
On the face of it Kiwis are very friendly when you're out and about and shopping etc but as neighbours they are as reticent as the Brits in the UK. We have lived here for 2 years and apart from my immediate neighbour we've hardly had so much as a nod. I know it's not the same in every part of the country or even other suburbs in Tauranga. Perhaps they know we're English!!Our daughter and family live nearby so it doesn't really bother us. I've yet to 'join' a club of any sort so don't know whether folks would be any different in that environment.
jayandbill is offline  
Old Oct 23rd 2011, 7:32 am
  #28  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 39
polly.glot will become famous soon enoughpolly.glot will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!

Hippygran - we are a "mixed marriage" (he Pom, me Kiwi). In our 60s, having returned to NZ to retire, we have had a renewed zest for life and working! We work in Auckland during the week, and return to our wee cottage at Lake Rotoiti for the weekends. If you would like a trip to the lake one weekend for lunch in the bush and a bit of peace, we would love to see you! (The Mr is a Mancunian, with all that that entails......)
polly.glot is offline  
Old Oct 23rd 2011, 9:48 am
  #29  
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Aug 2008
Location: I live in Torbay
Posts: 95
Hippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud ofHippygran2 has much to be proud of
Default Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!

Wow, that's sounds a really nice invitation. We would definitely give it some thought. We also have a dog to take into consideration. Thank you very much, Polly-glot.

PS: We have a Mancunian son-in-law (passionate Man Utd fan) in the UK, he even has a dog called 'Trafford'!!!!

Hope to be in touch.

Joan
Hippygran2 is offline  
Old Nov 14th 2011, 12:28 am
  #30  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 65
sandra arnott is just really nicesandra arnott is just really nicesandra arnott is just really nicesandra arnott is just really nicesandra arnott is just really nicesandra arnott is just really nicesandra arnott is just really nicesandra arnott is just really nicesandra arnott is just really nicesandra arnott is just really nicesandra arnott is just really nice
Default Re: Almost two years on and.........friendships are hard to come by!!!!

Originally Posted by tweetweet
we have found it really hard to make friends here. in fact everything has seemed like an uphill battle. having lived in 8 countries and travelled a fair bit, I am used to feeling like an outsider. But the warm welcome is not here. Found Cape Town the best, what friendly people, cheerful and helpful. NZ is similar to Barbados in the 70s. Parochial and exclusive. The funny thing is the Kiwis are so friendly abroad. One wonders if it is because they need to make that effort in order to get ahead or if the cream of the crop has left NZ. Because the ones left behind can be a bit off! Oh well, we all live and learn.
Quite agree been here 6years and now find that i think sod it not ment to be having friends so use facebook and NZ forum for my chats
sandra arnott is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.