Hippygran2

At the end of November we will have been in NZ two years. Whilst basically enjoying life here as a retired couple, we have found it really hard to make new friends here as I am sure loads of people in our position have done before us. We have met & made friends walking our dog on the beach but generally they don't seem to become socialising friends. Don't get me wrong, we have made a few friends we can go for meals with - we are not completely 'Billy-no mates', ha ha!!!

I do voluntary work, go to an international coffee morning regularly, tried a community club for older people, got a flea in my ear and was spoken to like a ten year old by one individual so that put paid to that!!! So we are both not sitting at home waiting for it to happen. Not sure what else to try, not having been in this position before, always had a lovely circle of friends in the UK, of course made over a long period of time.

I wondered if there was any older people out there that had made this amazing journey later in life and how they dealt with it. Would love to hear from anyone who has been there.

Have to say, I feel very lucky to live in such a lovely area so close to great beaches etc.

Cheers

Joan

pcmay10

why do people who are old describe themselves as "older".We are all older but not all old,my 5 year old son is "older" than my 1 year old daughter but he is not old, please say it how it is and not try and take britains pc culture over there,thankyou..

Am Loolah

That's useful, helpful and just what the OP was after. How considerate. Not.

Hippygran, I am sorry to hear that the social side of things is proving so difficult. It certainly sounds like you have made the effort, but it is hard. My mum always said that was one of the reasons she wouldn't join us to live in NZ. Starting over socially at her age. She thinks we have it easier with school age children, more likely to meet other parents.

I have friends who have met people through the gym, church, library groups. Have you considered anything like this. Your local paper will have a what's on guide and I often see things specifically for the over 50's in mine.

Fingers crossed things pick up on that front for you. Glad to hear everything else is good.

Hippygran2

Well, silly me, whenever I have logged on to this site, it's usually to seek advice, help, information or simply to have a chuckle at some of the great people who write on here with a sense of humour - not to be given an English grammar lesson. I will remember next time I write on BEP not to use the dreaded word 'OLDER' in the wrong context. You certainly have a nice way of putting things when someone is asking for help.

Thank you for your instruction. Have a nice day.

pcmay10

apologies for rant,drink induced frustration,or just a bad day...

Hippygran2

Thanks Am Loolah,

There's more things going for us here and I know it takes time to get established.

J

Hippygran2

Apology accepted - Life's too short..........!

J

BEVS

It can be and is a bit of a tough nut to crack can this. Me and him also had a great circle of friends back in the UK. Cosy I suppose you could say. Or comfy. Certainly lively & fun .Sharing with all the ups and downs life throws at us all. I'd known some of 'em for 30 odd years or more. Husband knew the same folk . In fact, we met & grew together through knowing the same people. I could go on about how great it was looking back but I think you know what I mean already.

I'd love to have the same here as we had there, friendship wise. So would husband . That doesn't mean we haven't made a few lovely friends in the 7+ years we have been here. We have. Mostly they are younger and have kids. A whole other type of friendship.
We're older. They're younger and we don't exactly share the same ..........something.

I have 'ladies' I meet up with and have great fun with at a craft group at a local church - I don't do the god thing though. We're all ages and honestly, it's a real good laugh. I enjoy it but this doesn't mean that me and him socialise to any great extent with any of these people. If we saw them somewhere we'd sit and have a chat but that's about it. They have their own established circle of friends plus their families and their way of being in NZ is very different to ours.

I actually don't know what to suggest to you Hippygran. You can try group activities until you hit one that has someone that you & your OH gel with. Bowls . Garden group. Walking group. Golf
You'll have to pick something that enthuses or enriches you as a person otherwise it can be just so lame really. Listening to others and being on the outside looking in.

We've deal with it ,I suppose ,by relying on each other more. We haven't the network we had and we just have to get on with that. If I am honest, I don't think we will get the friendships we had again here. As I said, we have friends too , so we're not Billy No Mates either but it ain't quite the same is it.

cappuccino

Have you looked into U3A www.u3anetworknz.org/WhatIsU3A.php

My in-laws met each other through this in the UK.

I've been making some new friends through Toastmasters, they attract people of all ages: www.toastmasters.org.nz/

Am Loolah

It's all good, we all have them.

Hippygran2

Thanks folks for you suggestions, you've all been most helpful. We'll see what the future brings, maybe I have been too impatient.

Cheers
Joan

Foxesecho

HI Joan

The U3A network have a poster on the notice board outside the chemist in Torbay. Have wondered about some of the courses myself as some of them look quite interesting.

Coffee and a chat or a walk on the beach (Taz is getting a bit fat) anytime.

Hippygran2

Thanks Foxesecho, Will be in touch. Hope we can meet up.

Cheers
Joan

janeyk

Hi Joan
same goes for me to! weekends are easier but happy to meet for a coffee
regards Jane

Hippygran2

Hi Janeyk,

It would nice to meet up for coffee. Sorry I didn't get to Ex-Pat's meet up on the 4th, being Father's Day we did something else. Hopefully next time. I believe I have your number (you gave card me a card), will give you a ring.

Thanks

Joan