Was it all worth it?

Old Jun 4th 2015, 4:28 pm
  #61  
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Default Re: Was it all worth it?

Originally Posted by Justcol
While we all think how adventurous we are for being here, I feel NZ attracts a very specific type of person.
In my 7 years here I have met many many poms, and it strikes me that we are pretty much all the same.
NZ attracts a very monotone type of person, almost bland.
Don't misunderstand this, I love living here (last year I even married a native) and I appreciate every day
the beauty and openness of the place, but despite all this there is a shallowness to the place that friendly folk
and beautiful vistas cannot overcome.
You've said it all and I have to agree but earlier immigrants were much more 'original'. I think of elderly friends I had that are no longer with us; they really had imagination and were unique.
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Old Jun 4th 2015, 11:28 pm
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Default Re: Was it all worth it?

I think my in-laws were some of the last, 'honest' immigrants. They came to NZ from Scotland in the sixties when my husband was a little boy.

My husband's late father, a fitter in the coal mining industry, could see the Scottish Coal mines coming to an end and wanted a better future for his family.

The family, what was then three of them, emigrated on the strength of his Dad's job offer to Auckland.

It wasn't done as a lifestyle choice like it is these days. Since about the mid-seventies IMO.
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Old Jun 5th 2015, 12:29 pm
  #63  
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Default Re: Was it all worth it?

Originally Posted by Snap Shot
It wasn't done as a lifestyle choice like it is these days. Since about the mid-seventies IMO.
Thanks for posting this as it helped me think. MrH and I are wanting to move due to our jobs, health and home all being at severe risk from various developments, both political and industrial. There are other places we could go but we feel we'd fit well into the NZ environment, it's just a matter of what we can escape with that is driving when we submit SMC applications to the pool.

For us I guess it is a lifestyle choice but it's one being increasingly fueled by future loss of income and existing loss of lifestyle here.
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Old Jun 7th 2015, 11:03 pm
  #64  
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Default Re: Was it all worth it?

I think it comes down to what you perceive as life style.
I know my perception of life style criteria is different from what MrF perceives it as. I personally feel I and the kids have a lower level of standard life style to what I am used to. I see life style as my day to day living and I have a poorer quality house, ie lack of heating and double glazing. True we live nearer a beach and could probably never afford to live near a beach unless the standard of housing in the UK fell into the same bracket as NZ, but really how often do I get down there only really to walk the dog and he would be happy to walk anywhere.
The kids do less out of school activities as some are seasonal along with the fact that there are less places that do them so lots more travel for us to just get to them. I know this is personal to my situation and the place we live, maybe moving again (don't go there) would enable a better life style but we just can't afford it.

I do have a saying, that actually started as a joke by MrF in the first few months we were here and its "lower your expectations" and I have to live by that for now, its hard and frustrating at times but it is what it is and I just have to have the odd melt down, kick myself up the butt and carry on going forward as at the end of the day thats all anyone can do.
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Old Jun 8th 2015, 12:51 am
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Default Re: Was it all worth it?

Originally Posted by MrsFychan
I think it comes down to what you perceive as life style.
I agree

I do have a saying, that actually started as a joke by MrF in the first few months we were here and its "lower your expectations" and I have to live by that for now, its hard and frustrating at times but it is what it is and I just have to have the odd melt down, kick myself up the butt and carry on going forward as at the end of the day thats all anyone can do
.
Yup, that sums it up well.
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Old Jun 8th 2015, 8:40 am
  #66  
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Default Re: Was it all worth it?

Originally Posted by MrsFychan
I think it comes down to what you perceive as life style.
I know my perception of life style criteria is different from what MrF perceives it as. I personally feel I and the kids have a lower level of standard life style to what I am used to. I see life style as my day to day living and I have a poorer quality house, ie lack of heating and double glazing.


<snip>
I do have a saying, that actually started as a joke by MrF in the first few months we were here and its "lower your expectations" and I have to live by that for now, its hard and frustrating at times but it is what it is and I just have to have the odd melt down, kick myself up the butt and carry on going forward as at the end of the day thats all anyone can do.

Yes this, all of this!!


I think it is more noticeable to the female of the house and may account for a lot of the disparity in expectations and outcomes and in turn might go some way to explain the divorce stats. There's no two ways about it, NZ is a very macho world and if you can afford it sure provides amply for the boys in terms of big boys toys and outdoorsy pursuits; beer, bbqs, boats, utes / hunting, shooting and fishing.


It's a lot more difficult for woman to flourish in this environment and more difficult to have a life outside of the home, when you are primary homemaker and particularly so when you are largely reliant on your partner to take you out of that domestic situation and do things with you that you might previously have done with friends, wider family, mum's sisters or whoever that might be in your circle.


I feel the greatest loss of lifestyle is due to a huge set-back in my career which ultimately affected our joint income opportunities and thus leads to limiting factors / reducing expectations in other areas of life. With reduced income comes burden of additional duties that one has to do oneself, less leisure and free time and really just a general spiral downwards.


I've said it plenty of times before that I work more hours and with commuting times I am away from home more than I ever was living in London. So there's a lot less free time and I find generally it takes a lot more effort on my part to keep house and home together; to cook almost every day, bake, provide lunches etc.


The rare event of going out is often more of an effort than it is worth and provides no rest for the wicked - usually requiring some military planning and a requirement for the lady of the house to provide some form of catering. All things that I could quite reliably leave to Marks and Spencers, Sainsburys, et al. in the former life.
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Old Jun 8th 2015, 10:50 am
  #67  
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Default Re: Was it all worth it?

I think my kids have a better standard of living and lifestyle here but my husband and I probably have a slightly poorer lifestyle because we have less support, less 'close' friends, less opportunities to do the things we like doing (which is not pig hunting or anything that happens on school grounds).

But my kids are part Kiwi and they have great lives here: we live in a quiet country town where they have a lot of freedom and have superb schools and leisure opportunities. We live in a rental on a tiny section but we're surrounded by green space. I do feel they have had their childhoods extended by living out here and I am really happy for them that university will be so accessible to them both. I love that they do school camps on amazing remote islands or to New Caledonia or kayaking down the Whanganui!

My 17 year old snuggled up to me last week when we were talking about stuff and said "I've had a great childhood, Mum" and and and and
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Old Jun 14th 2015, 8:51 am
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Default Re: Was it all worth it?

Originally Posted by bourbon-biscuit
My 17 year old snuggled up to me last week when we were talking about stuff and said "I've had a great childhood, Mum" and and and and
If my kids do that when they are 17, I will consider it a job well done.

Nice work.
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Old Jun 14th 2015, 6:54 pm
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Default Re: Was it all worth it?

Cheer Bearskin It was delightful but pretty near broke my heart at the same time.
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Old Jun 17th 2015, 2:41 am
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Default Re: Was it all worth it?

Genisis! Nice to see you back again, but I am really sorry for your news.
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Old Jun 17th 2015, 3:54 am
  #71  
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Default Re: Was it all worth it?

Originally Posted by Catchafire
Genisis! Nice to see you back again, but I am really sorry for your news.
Thank you mate. Life goes on eh? Still looking for a new soul mate. Alas there is only one half reasonable dating site in NZ and there are not many candidates in Palmy on said site! Anyone know of a nice, uncomplicated, attractive woman looking for a very young 56 year old...let me know!!

I am off to college next year to study furniture design and making. Just got back into big bikes and have moved into a lovely old villa in town. How is the wine making going?
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Old Jun 17th 2015, 4:59 am
  #72  
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Default Re: Was it all worth it?

Originally Posted by Genesis
Thank you mate. Life goes on eh? Still looking for a new soul mate. Alas there is only one half reasonable dating site in NZ and there are not many candidates in Palmy on said site! Anyone know of a nice, uncomplicated, attractive woman looking for a very young 56 year old...let me know!!

I am off to college next year to study furniture design and making. Just got back into big bikes and have moved into a lovely old villa in town. How is the wine making going?
Wine making is on hold at the moment......I am also getting a divorce...but from my idiot business partner. Got some other stuff going on, so good to be busy.

Good luck finding lady love! Not really up on the dating site thing. At your age have you tried hanging out at the local bingo hall? I hear the Women's Institute have got a few hotties hanging out there.............
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