moving2NZ2013

Totally normal to have not settled yet.
We have been here 19 months and we have been very up and down about being here.
4 months ago we were looking at one way tickets home.
Things have settled a bit more and we are taking the country for what it is.
this ain't a bad ole place. Attitude to life is everything !

Sparkleydiva

My unhappiness and health got so bad that I have had to go to the Dr and am now on antidepressants just to get through the day.

Mrs fychan and vitalstatistix i'm in the same boat. I have been on antidepressants for 2.5 years. The homesickness hit 3 years ago and i struggle every day with it. I have tried to come off them several times to no avail. It is hard for some to understand this but i have never been treated for depression before.

Thankfully for me i am heading home soon and have little money to take back with us but we decided to just cut our loses after 8+ years so we can settle and move forward.

Good luck and take care x

moving2NZ2013

I find although I still take prozac daily I find depression has eased a lot since being here. Certainly the sunnier brighter atmosphere seems to help.

Sparkleydiva

Thats great if it has helped.

I can only speak for myself but my issues are around belonging and mortality. I know a lot of people find that morbid but between my age and my job (palliative care) i dont want to stay here forever and have decided to act on these feelings.

Take care

moving2NZ2013

Totally get the belonging thing. I will settle here but I will still be british in my heart and the uk will always be home.
I think nz gives people the reflection they perhaps need to realise that uk is home.
I will never say if never move back but for now it's going ok.
Hope your plans for the future run smoothly x

Sparkleydiva

Thank you .

Take care x

Hazelnut

I think job opportunities depend on your area of expertise. My current career is dead in the water in both the UK and NZ. The new career I'm training for offers more opportunity in NZ than UK. MrH's current career has opportunities in both countries but he's hit a salary barrier in the UK that he can go through if we make it to NZ. There's also more opportunity for flexible work arrangements over there.
There's more jobs in the UK but I would think there's also more applicants. For a graduate level job on offer where I currently work we can have up to 70 applicants. For jobs that don't need a degree but do need A levels we've had in excess of 500 applicants. How does that compare with NZ?

ETA I wouldn't worry too much about children. I moved educational place a couple of times and ended up with a good degree, albeit I was a couple of years older than my fellow uni students, and I've been accumulating PG certificates in different disciplines ever since. The main thing I see with kids is the loss of friends. Being willing and able to be mobile and cope with making new friends is an enormous life skill though and will open up the world once they graduate. It's a tough experience to move mid-education but it's a valuable one.

Bo-Jangles

I think those in the immigration game tend to over-egg the demand for labour and give a lot of false hope to folks regarding how much they are needed. This time of year is always buoyant with a busy turnaround and seems to be lots if jobs advertised, as everyone has held vacancies through December and early January with approvals to recruit having been on hold whilst the bosses were on holidays at the bach. So it might appear that there are more jobs but not really as they are not new jobs as such, just more people circulating through the system.

Job market skewed in favour of employers, Trade Me says | Stuff.co.nz

In that kind of environment the new kid on the block doesn't actually have much of a chance as most employers will favour the local / Kiwi experienced talent.

Stormer999

Maybe the answer to why NZ employers prefer Kiwi's over Pom's is actually in this thread.

kakapo

Hi,

Moving somewhere else in NZ may be the answer - I do not particularly like Auckland although never lived there but could not imagine being happy there. However, whilst Queenstown is beautiful and lovely to visit, I would think twice about moving there. In South Island terms it is very expensive, it is tiny and you almost do not feel you are in NZ as almost everyone is foreign. Somewhere like Dunedin would be a better option as it is bigger and has more to offer if you wanted to try somewhere else but coming from Auckland it would be quite a shock to the system! Much smaller and you hardly ever see traffic

I know people say that if you stay for a bit, you will settle - I am not sure what the point of it is though if you are unhappy and were happy in the UK. There are good and bad points to everywhere and I think the trick is to find where for you the positives outweigh the negatives and only you can really know that. Personally I think life is too short to force yourself to stay somewhere to see if you end up liking it. The other option may be going for a holiday to the UK to see how it feels.

Good luck with it - I have (in a weird way) been happy about enjoying it here but not so much that would have to change my plans to go back eventually

LauraNotts

Just to echo what a lot of people have said in this thread it is perfectly okay to feel homesick and unsettled, particularly this early on. I think sometimes we can get ourselves into the position where we think:

'Well I've spent this much time and effort I just have to like it now or else I'm going to have to admit this isn't perfect like all my friends and family think and maybe I regret doing what others wish they could do.'

It is okay to catch yourself thinking this and it is okay to think that it's a load of bollocks and be honest with yourself. I read a while ago (and whoever it was on here who wrote it thankyou) that having a 'get out' plan can help you feel more settled somehow because you know you can choose to go.

My advice is to give yourself a time frame, give yourself permission to feel the things you feel and not second guess yourself and also to reassure yourself that 9 months really isn't as long as it feels at this point. You've made some friends and that's awesome but do remember really good and deep friendships take time. You've made a start, give it time to build and deepen.

I remember the despair I felt and how lonely I felt when people told me this nearly three years ago. I took a while (about a year) to make my first friends and nearly 2 for them to become good friends who I can talk to about everything. It can happen.

Finally have a big expatty hug.

Meliojd1

Hi

I want to wish you all the best for the future and hope that you can settle back in the UK.

It has been interesting reading all the replies. We have been here just over a month and initially felt really happy and settled. I still do in most ways. My job here is quite different to back in the UK and that is what I am struggling with the most. That and trying to build my life and friendships outside of work. I think once I can get my head around the work thing I think I'll be ok then. We are currently in a bach and waiting to move into our rental apartment and for our container to arrive hoping I feel a bit more settled then. I really want to buy a property as I think this will help as well putting some roots down however the housing market in Auckland is so expensive.

wishing you all the best
Mel

dotty3

So good to read all the posts. Nice to know you are not the only one feeling like this.

bearskin

I really like living on Auckland North Shore. Can't say it was my first choice when we were planning to come over here, but we all decided it was a pretty nice spot to call home.
A few things that have helped us settle in here was: finding a good steady job for myself without a big commute; Mrs B re-training and doing a job that she really likes; getting involved with clubs like scouts and sports; finding a good mix of kiwi and ex-pat friends; getting stuck into home-improvement (we have steadily worked on virtually every part of the house/land now and after 13 years it's nearing an end now); taking standards of NZ life as we find them rather than comparing it to life in the UK - yes, I expect to hear cries of 'lower your expectations'' lol; embracing stuff like walking, camping, surfing etc that NZ does well.
I accept that with house prices having risen a lot since we moved here that new migrants will find property in Auckland expensive.

Chipster

I actually think that is very wise.
Dual nationality is a wonderful gift a parent can give to their children.
I only wish I'd thought of that as a compromise with my wife re Australia. Now I'm too old.
Gives the kids options especially if one country turns bad.
I heard one guy say "always think one generation ahead". I totally agree with that.