Gary&Family

Well, lots to say but not enough time (I'm in the library for net access at the moment and I've got to go and meet Sally and the kids shortly).

I'm afraid the news from me isn't good, because I am really struggling with everything.
I've never been a person to be homesick, and have moved around lots, but this is really killing me. We've not even been here a week and already I want to go home.

Just to get things into perspective, I wasn't expecting Oz to be Little Britain with a better climate and knew that everything would be vastly different.
I knew there would be a long period of time needed to settle in. I was someone who laughed at people who didn't give the new life at least 6 months before going home and swore I'd never do that.

And now I know exactly how they felt.

There are lots of great things about Brisbane (and Australia) that I like (even despite the weather at the moment).

But there are a million and one things wrong.

I've woken up every day at 3 in the morning, unable to get back to sleep, worrying that I've made the biggest mistake of my life - giving up security and dragging my family half way across the world. Pacing the floor wondering what to do next.

The sensible side says give it way more time, don't be so silly.

The emotional side says run home with tail between legs.

Hopefully, I'll settle down a bit before I end up booking the return flights.

Sorry to bring a downer to everything. I just can't help how I'm feeling at the moment. I'm trying desperately to be positve, but am failing at present.

I just don't know why I feel like this. I lived and breathed this move for so long and was absolutely positive and certain 100% throughout.

My leaving party was definately very sad and I was gutted to say goodbye to my best mate at the airport, but I still remained positive about the move. Then suddenly, around the second day here, things started to feel so very wrong.

Enough of my rambling, I'll post again soon.

don544

The sensible side says give it way more time, don't be so silly.

Gary, hope it works out, only you know what your feeling, your above comment is what i would be thinking (hopefully!), but i am not in your shoes, and don't know whats making you despair in this way.
all the very best, Dom

cheechee

Really feel for you... Hope things settle down soon

Pootle

Its such early days Gary,
You haven't had a chance to recover from the jet lag yet.

We felt that way in the first few weeks. There's so much to get sorted, finding accommodation, cars, banking, taking care of the kids etc. It really does take a lot out of you. Be patient with yourself and give it a bit more time. I'm sure things will come right for you. There's been a few times I thought "what on earth have we done" in the first few weeks/months. We have now been here over a year and are loving it. You've worked hard to get here, please don't give up on it just yet. Maybe set a time of 6 - 12 months to review how you feel. Meantime you can enjoy all the wonderful sights that Australia has.

Good luck, I hope things soon feel better for you.

Ruth

Cheetah7

Gary you are still suffering from jet lag which can last up to two weeks.

Then whilst you are awake in the early hours of the morning, problems not only seem bigger, but also overwhelming.

If you were about to undergo surgery and your doctor had only been in the UK a week, said to you 'Gary I have terrible jet lag, I haven't slept properly since I got here and I keep thinking about how I'm going to do your operation for the best'

Would you let him proceed? I don't think so.

Even a pilot cannot fly a plane without a certain amount of rest, let alone make a the smallest decision about an aircraft.

So with that in mind, we can agree that major life changing/affecting decisions should not be made under circumstances of fatigue and jet lag, I reckon you should sit tight, get over the shock/assault on your body given by the time zones, and forget about going 'home' to the UK.

Start from now looking at Australia as home, rest up and allow yourself to adapt.

No way should you make this decision now and I bet you wouldn't advise anyone else to either.

Good luck mate

Sam

harveyhare

Hang in there, l agree, its probably jetlag and the end of the emotional rollercoaster.
We arrived in April 05 and like you i felt guilty for bringing the family here and wanted to go home, we decided it would be easier to set ourselfs a time frame, we agreed to rethink our plans in 6 months and arrange to go home if we felt the same, I started to relax and enjoy myself, we have now settled and are going to stay in OZ but relocate interstate, the homesickness never really goes away but it gets easier the longer you are here.

Di

wensamjam

Hi Gary,

my husband felt just like you when we arrived in Canada in July 05. The day we arrived he wanted to get back on the plane and go home. He felt like that for a long time, not weeks but months. Harder for him was the first 5 months of being here we lived with my sister and her family, which is the hardest thing we had to do. He was also in a job he hated, but through all that he says what used to make him think was when he got home from work he would see his 5 year old son outside playing with friends and being very happy. That's what kept him going. We finally moved into our new house in November 05 and began to settle, still though he would say is this the right thing to do. He changed his job in January this year and is alot happier. So I can say now, nearly 8 months on that we are finally saying this is home and we love it here. Yes there are always downsides to everything, Canada is not as cheap as people seem to think it is. I would say to you, are your children happy? Is your wife happy? Look at the reason you decieded to move to OZ. Good luck Gary and I hope whatever you deceide it works for you.

Mrs JFW

Gary I would agree with everyone else, it could be the jet lag that makes everything seem such an ordeal. Sleep deprivation is a terrible thing. At the same time you probably feel utimately responsible for getting your family settled, which is a lot of pressure for you. I think it would be unnatural not to feel homesick because the reality of what you have done is beginning to sink in. Give yourself time to rest, when you think about it you will not only be exhausted from the flights but from at least the previous 6 months of life in the UK organising the visa/ move/house sale/jobs etc...

Don't be too hard on yourself Gary. You are doing great! Try as much as you can to take some time out and rest even though you probably have loads to do.

I hope you feel better over the next few weeks. Good luck!

Love Jackie

sme

You also need to bare in mind that your secuity has been shaken and it needs to be rebuilt in Oz with your family. Try to put down some roots and settle somewhere for a while before making any decisions, things may feel different when there is more security for you and the family.
Good luck, keep us updated and chat thru BE if it helps.
Gillian

Stitch

Gary,

Sounds like the jet lag's hit quite hard. You really need to get some sleep and try and think positive. How does the rest of the family feel. It will be tough and not as easy as here, epsecially in Dundee. The strange thing is everything here is just the same. Ninewells is ticking along as it did before. The people you worked with are still working away so you're not missing out on anything. You have a fantastic opportunity but it's going take some working at....I truly believe it will be worth it.

I really hope you manage to work it out and if you need to rant feel free to do so. Mandy (from work who's my neighbour!) says hi and hope's things are going ok.

Take care

Ginny

breezeboylan

Really sorry to hear your not happy Gary. I remember reading your post when you were in the airport and being sooo jealous as I was stuck in work on a night shift. You need to remember that since then, people like me have finished nights,had our days off and now are back on shift again!! You have done so much in the last week while back in the U.K the rest of us nurse's are just carrying on and on and on......As everyone else said Gary your body clock is still a mess and as I'm sure you know sleep deprivation is a major cause of depression. Until you get your body clock back to normal and get some sleep dont make any decisions, just try to relax and take it easy, but in the long term if you and your family feel its not for you then you have noting to be ashamed off, at least you tried and wont ever have to say 'what if'. Good luck Gary and remember take it easy and slowly!

Robbo2

Gary, Don't rush home yet. I have PM'd you with my number here in Brisbane.
Would be very willing to offer support having only been here 3 months myself.
Maybe you could pop by for dinner or something. Don't go making any rash decisions just yet please. You might regret it. It's gonna get much better.
Claire.

paulb

Gary

I can only agree with everyone elses posts. We all have thoughts like you....its normal, just most are afraid to admit it. We have been through the same, dont worry.
In a few weeks when you are sat in your house, with your car in the 'DLUG', feeling quite relaxed you will look back and laugh. There is lots to do, and it is stressful at times, but can also be fun. Think about what you are going back to. Shame the weather is so poor at the moment, some sun would brighten you up.
Take Claire up on her offer, she does a mean pizza, tastes just like a McCain one!!!!

Paul

Stitch

Can I please ask what's a DLUG?

Ginny

paulb

Double lock up garage

Oz is full of abbreviations, some obvious, some not.