Busymumto3

Our kids are 7, 5 and 1. We have told them we are leaving the UK. My daughter (7) has known for a while we planned to leave and was fine about it. My older son (5) was very upset at the thought of leaving his school (which he loves) and his little buddies. He is quite a quiet child and has a really close gang of buddies at school but it takes him time to settle to change. He stopped crying at the thought of leaving by us telling him he was going to go on a plane but he really was v. sad about it all.

We thought about having a little going way party in the park just before we go. Any other ideas on how kids can say goodbye without it being too upsetting?

My 1 yr old, well, obv. he will be fine.

I am also concerned about my 7 yr old missing her grandparents. They are really involved in their lives at the moment.

So for those of you who emigrated with kids - what did you do to make the transition easier? I know school can really help with getting them in a routine but what if they don't get into a school straight away?! That's a whole new thread I need to start....

TYVM in advance for your top tips

old dragon

We've moved many times with our children which is the reason that we've finally put down roots here - so they can complete their education and put down their own roots before leaving home.

In my experience, they have pretty much the same anxieties as us - but with less control over the solutions. For ours, we've found that the more we acknowledge it (without making a big fuss) and then present them with strategies and information, the better they cope.

We always take our pets with us, family & even the vet thought we were mad.

Emails were wonderful, we created email accounts for each of our children linked to the family account. Long before we moved, we got them into the habit of sending simple one liners & photos to family and a few of their friends. It meant that we had already established that they could connect with their mates even when sitting alone at the PC. Skype is also a wonderful tool, we arranged skype sessions with friends just up the road and left them chattering about what they'd done the day. It gives you more credibility when you say "we'll still be able to skype and see them"

We had chosen the school before we came which helped, so we googled everything we could about it and sent an email of introduction from each of the children in their own words. We were sent welcome letters whilst still in UK and emails in response which helped to take some of the anxiety out of the move.

The most damage was done by my mother in law who told my youngest he'd never see any of his friends again.

We arrived before the summer holidays, the school was great and allowed them to go for the last 3 days - just so they would make some connections.

Finally our oldest had an xbox live - and we took it with us in the hand luggage, it did help because he maintained his old connections whilst making new ones. It's been a great thing for him, he now links games with friends in UK and friends here and they're quite a funny group all in. Yours are probably a little young for that, but there seems to be a diverse group of activities for children where ever you live.

When my husband came out to finalise contracts etc, he collected all of the tourist literature/leaflets he could along with some postcard dvds. We gave them to the youngest to cut up and put in a scrapbook, we just let him loose with glue and scissors and he collected images of all the things he wanted to do.

The beach featured largely, so we contacted the Surf Life Savers club over here and got some information. Every time he started to get anxious, we just told him we felt the same, that it was completely normal to feel that way - but we all knew we'd make more friends to keep with the ones we already had.

Kiwi kids on the whole are great, a lot less cynical IMO - generally speaking anyway. A new kid in the class is a novelty and both of mine were made to feel very welcome.

gozzy

hi busy mum
we have been here for 2.5 years and yes it is unsettling for the kids to move. our boys were 11,9 and 4 when we moved and did not want to come. we had hell for the first 6 mths from the eldest 2, with the eldest upsetting the local kids at school (small country school majority farm kids from generations of kiwis) in the end we have moved to a different part of NZ and sent the boys to a school in chch.

you need to involve yourself in the community , meet up with others and tell your children that this has to work. i know i sound mean but if you want a new life you have to move forward.

NZ is not like UK and to get your children to fit in, they need not to stick out. most kids here are quite happy to plod along and do just enough to get by. my boys came a cropper by telling the kiwis how crap there country is and england was better. diplomacy not big in my family.

eventually they do make friends and fit in with the locals and you end up carting them around to meet up with their friends,they join in with the sports teams and have a sense of belonging .

2.5 years on the eldest now thinks he would like to go to college in the USA and would like to live in canada as the snow is better for skiing. coming to NZ has taught my children that the world is a big place and yet it is also very small. they speak to there relatives in the UK weekly via skype , which is more than they did in the UK . both of my parents have visited and spent more time with the children than they would have if we still lived in the UK.

It is hard to start with but it does get easier , embrace your new life, do not lust after the life you left behind, its not better here, it is different. For us hanging on to the life we had in England caused to many problems and this effected the kids. be positive and forward thinking and hopefully you will not have the problems we have had.
regards richard.

Justcol

Just let them make friends at school and have their friends round to play.
Kiwi kids are a great, just let them play and get on with it, they'll be fine

Lejamez

Hiya,
In a simliar boat as have a 9(daughter) & 7(son) - my daughter has seemed to embrace the move more but still has the odd wobble whereas like your middle son mine is so worried about leaving friends and making new ones.

What we've done so far is let them look on websites at schools in the areas we're looking to live in, got them to help look at houses/rentals, got emails and skype setup so they can get used to using this to communicate with folks back home. As it's the summer at the moment and we're planning on moving september I'm making sure that we can have lots of sleep overs/days out with friends etc while we can, also planning on trying to have a bit of a party but as yet no idea what to do - adults are easy just provide a room and a bar but with kids not really sure.

I've also contacted clubs in the areas we're looking at for Ballet and TaeKwon-Do and that has shown them that they can continue the same activities once we've moved - this seemed to help a surprising amount.

We're also let them talk whenever they want and told them we too have wobbles - I think just letting them get things off their chest is good.

If you want am happy to PM my kids emails/Skype for your kids so they can have some one to talk of a similar age about what there going through - that could help my kids too We're in Dunfermline Scotland or I'd suggest meeting up

Where abouts in Auckland are you thinking about mobing to and when?

Laura x

Busymumto3

Ah, yet again, some great advice and tips!

They already have email a/c as my sister and her family live in France and it's their way of keeping in touch with their cousins. Will ahve to make more use of that.

I will have to look into Beavers and cubs / Brownies for my older 2. That's been their fave thing. And swimming clubs / lessons.

Schools - what a nightmare! Honestly it is hard to know where to start... I cross referenced the wiki page of schools in Auckland City with a higher decile rating in relation to easy access via public transport to university campus and lots came up in Remuera so I thought Ok, that looks good. But then I read on another thread that's it's full of D list celebrities, snobby / posh and everything is overpriced. Well, that's not me at all!

Maybe Mount Eden? That was the next best, 3 decent schools and close to centre until we find out feet?

I will take you up on that offer Laura. We are supposed to me moving the first week of September but think it will slide by a few weeks as that deadline seems a tad optimistic to me. I think we will be more centrally based to satrt with and then move further out when we have found our feet and we can afford to buy a car