love30stm

Well I have been in New Zealand just over 16 months, and beginning to get down about it, my eldest daughter does not like it, I havent made any real friends, Miss Europe, Miss the clothes shops, miss the Buzz, its too quite at times, miss going out with friends, too bloody far away from everything, too expensive to travel anywhere , there enough said, just wanted to get it off my chest!!!

so there you go and I dont want to stay in this bloody country forever... but dont want to go back to the Uk either.

Ok Ive wallowed in my self pity for now, thanks and bye

Batty

Where would you go? Any ideas? If you stay somewhere you don't love you can easily end up hating it and that's not fair on either you or the place. It's possibly not the best time ever to think about moving but a plan is always good and gives you something to look forward to - especially for your daughter because she's probably at a stage where a month can seem as long as a year. Would another area in NZ work d'you think?

It's different strokes for different folks and although I love the things you don't, I can completely understand where you're coming from. Life's too short to spend it being unhappy so if this is just a glitch and a bit of homesickness coming up to Christmas, I hope it gets better for you and if not, look at 2009 as an opportunity to do something different.

love30stm

Thanks and Maybe its where we live, also my husband loves it soooo much here, hes took up Cycling, fishing and sports, Im not into sports and maybe I am just pissed off at the moment coming up to christmas, not heard from friends and family for weeks, feel forgotton, and well we have talked about living somewhere else in the future or maybe Australia.

I dont know Im just bored out my brain, but cant seem to find the energy to do anything about it anymore.
thanks anyway, plus my eldest daughter goes on about how much she hates living here, and after 16 long months it kind of gets to you.

BEVS

Mate ! Many of us have been there . I've been there and more than once I can tell you. That could be me typing that exact same lot at times, minus the bit about the 16yr old 'course as I don't have a 16 yr old unless you count the husband sometimes.

Watching your child not settle must be really very hard for you as a parent.
With that on top, I am not surprised it is all a bit too much at times, especially at this time of year.

I'd say plan a trip away and outside of NZ just for the difference and for a bit of a buzz but for me to say that would be just plain daft. We haven't afforded to do that in 4 years now.

luvwelly

Hi Love
Sorry to hear you are feeling down. Is it pouring with rain today in Wanganui like it is in Wellington after two sunny days? Such a sudden change in the weather never helps the mood does it?
Nowhere is perfect but I think people come here (as did I) not fully appreciating the 'relative isolation/monoculture' bit....which coupled with the high cost of flights out (because everywhere is so far away) can make us feel a bit marooned here especially at Christmas when thoughts turn to those back in UK maybe.

Have you travelled much within NZ yet? I have found that helps...a change is as good as a rest and all that. Wellington is great but I feel the need to go somewhere different every 6 months at least. The scenery never fails to blow me away when I do go to other parts of NZ and the coffee/eating out is reliably good pretty much everywhere.

I know what you mean about 'real friends' ....I have now got some but they are mainly expats so could well leave before I do....in fact one has already. Another expat friend of mine has used her 'hobbies' to make 'Kiwi friends'...I know it's hard..if you are not into sport, religion, politics and your kids are older (so school less of an option), there are no easy ways in as an 'outsider'....especially when you haven't even emigrated (in my case).

So I'd say, book your next 'weekend break escape' so you always have sth different to look forward to on the horizon. Hope you manage to enjoy the Christmas break.

love30stm

Thanks Bev, It would like to have a trip somewhere else, but its too expensive to travel out of New Zealand and would take a lot of our savings, and did not fully relise that I would not be able to travel much again, something I miss a lot and did not think I would so yes the Isolation is getting to me.

Margaret Parkinson

My daughter and family lived in Wanganui for 6 months when they first went to NZ. They could not seem to make any friends there so found it very hard. They moved over to Papamoa because they knew someone who already lived there from the UK (they had been there 3 years) none of them had another job at that time (Dec) but things were in the pipeline. Because they already knew someone they in turn introduced them to others not all from England I might add. They now have a big circle of friends which has made all the difference to them fitting & settling in.

love30stm

Thanks thats all well and good, but 6 months is not that long, and we cant just up and leave, my husband has a good job here, so I have to put up with it for now.

Yotty

Best to give it a year at least ...

UKNZAUS

I started to get down about everything too! We decided that we will plan to leave NZ in a couple of years, once I've got my degree or the hubby can transfer his job out to their Australian offices , and whilst we are here we are going to enjoy every last second that we can!

As with yours, my hubby loves his job and colleagues and was soooo settled here, but once he'd ventured out of NZ and over to Oz, he'd started to see the downsides to NZ and wants to move as much as I do. The kids - they can't wait!!! Our 4 year old is constantly talking about fitting his bedroom into his little suitcase (those small pull-along thing) and being able to visit Wiggles World all the time (lol). I can honestly say I really dislike Auckland and can't wait to get out and people will argue that Auckland is not NZ but like everyone else says 'same shit different bucket' - I may leave Auckland tomorrow but NZ is still going to have the same crap elsewhere in the country... so not really an argument there.

I agree with Luwelly too, I've been a bit pessimistic again today after a glorious weekend and then 2 days of pants weather and no car to get out. I normally go off to a friends while I'm on my study break, but this past 2 days have been stuck in alone as they don't drive! ARGH!

Anyway, well done for holding your hand up! It is hard as heck to admit 'defeat' or however you want to look at it but keep your chin up and don't let it grind you down. I've recently gotten rid of a lot of negative people from my life and have found my life seems a whole lot brighter for it Maybe if you try and find out what's causing you to feel down, you can start enjoying life again. It must be hard with your daughter though, I hope it gets better/easier for you both x

UKNZAUS

Oh and although I don't have many 'true friends' I'd much rather have the handful that I have than an address book full of bitter ones Strangely enough the 'true friends' have nothing to do with these forums Not to say everyone here is not good (am I digging myself out now?) but look out of the circle and see what is out there.

UKNZAUS

We thought the exact same! One of my worst fears is losing our savings and being 'trapped' here not being able to afford to get out. Even a small holiday around NZ is expensive and we're fortunate enough to have a great friend who runs a holiday resort and we go to the Coromandel for free we're off there again in a few weeks and are going to travel down to the BOP whilst we're down that way so it doesn't cost us extra having to go down again over the summer.

It's so hard, the reality, but think positive and only positive things will happen

love30stm

Thanks Micelle, but I am feeling shit at the moment , and cant snap out of it but there you go...anyway thanks

kiwinow

Hi love30
I know how you feel. I'm feeling trapped in Timaru at the moment, even though I've lived in NZ most of my life. I do think that a different place might be good for you eventually. My parents live in Wanganui and although it's a nice place to visit I wouldn't want to live there. Even up the road in New Plymouth would be an improvement, but if it's culture you're wanting then Welly is good, and personally I liked Auckland, but we lived out west in Henderson, half an hour from town with 20 minutes drive to gorgeous beaches and bushwalks.

You say you miss travelling. I know the fares are probably not as cheap as UK to Europe, but have you noticed that often fares to Oz are cheaper than within NZ? Also, have you visited the islands? Club Med do some good packages in Noumea. Vanuatu, Fiji and Raro aren't that far. Not Europe but exotic in a different way.

Kiwiprincess

Actually, on that note, keep an eye of Pacific Blue's "Happy Hour" fares between 12pm and 1pm each weekday.

Remember, it is often much cheaper to get a package deal to a place like the Cook Islands rather than book separately. Eg Virgin Blue has a $500 4 or 5 day special to Rarotonga from Auckland.

Ditto with the Gold Coast. Personally I think the Gold Coast has a tendency to be pretty hideous. But it can also be a lot of fun. And good if you get away from the highways and highrises.