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Worries about the future

Worries about the future

Old Aug 3rd 2008, 10:09 pm
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Default Worries about the future

Hi there everyone

Know there is no easy answer to this question but how do those of you who have done it stop worrying about the future. We have been talking tonight about what we would do if one of my parents got sick and we were on the other side of the world. I don't think the worry is going to stop us giving it a go, and I know there are never any guarantees in this life but it is easier to be there is a crisis only being 100 miles away! Any advice????

Thanks

Helen
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Old Aug 3rd 2008, 10:37 pm
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Default Re: Worries about the future

Originally Posted by helen roberts View Post
Hi there everyone

Know there is no easy answer to this question but how do those of you who have done it stop worrying about the future. We have been talking tonight about what we would do if one of my parents got sick and we were on the other side of the world. I don't think the worry is going to stop us giving it a go, and I know there are never any guarantees in this life but it is easier to be there is a crisis only being 100 miles away! Any advice????

Thanks

Helen
Your worry isn't about them getting sick, but more about how long it would take you to get back if required. All you can if this is an issue is minimise the time frame... and for that there are numerous companies that offer re-patriation insurance when situations occur to get you back as quickly as possible. www.kinsure.co.uk is one such company.
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Old Aug 4th 2008, 2:59 am
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Default Re: Worries about the future

Originally Posted by helen roberts View Post
Hi there everyone

Know there is no easy answer to this question but how do those of you who have done it stop worrying about the future. We have been talking tonight about what we would do if one of my parents got sick and we were on the other side of the world. I don't think the worry is going to stop us giving it a go, and I know there are never any guarantees in this life but it is easier to be there is a crisis only being 100 miles away! Any advice????

Thanks

Helen
My wifes mum died after we moved, happily we were in the UK when it happened so she could be there. just by chance we were on hols at that time. Don't wish to sound harsh but you cant make omlettes without breaking eggs. Ofcourse its a huge upheaval if some one close dies and you are 12k miles away. As Barry Norman said, you pays your money you takes your choice.
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Old Aug 4th 2008, 3:38 am
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Default Re: Worries about the future

Hi Helen,
You can never tell what the future holds. We both have elderly parents & were aware that "something" could happen anytime! We just didn't expect it so soon. We'd only been in NZ only 3 months when my mam was diagnosed with breast cancer, & at 85yrs had surgery & radiotherapy & the future not looking good for her. She didn't want us to go charging back to UK, she wanted us to wait until after the treatment. So we went back after only being in NZ 6 months, it's an expense you can do with out so soon to making a big move. But we all know what we leave behind & have to decide how we will deal with situations at the time.
We knew that we couldn't put our life on hold with "what ifs". I hope this helps you.
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Old Aug 4th 2008, 8:58 am
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Default Re: Worries about the future

My brother who wasnt happy when i tood him we were moving to nz
asked me that question, what is mum gets ill or simething happens, what will you do?
My answer was" live my own life as best as i can".
I know i may never see my parents again and the next time i do i might be burying one of them but.
I know that sounds really harsh and self centred but i left the uk with my parents blessing, they are not so selfish as to emotionally blackmail me into not going.
they have always supported decisions i have made in the past and were happy for me to leave.
You have one life, you cannot let worries about others stop you from chasing your dreams.
I will never sit down in my old age and dwell on what might have been, i will
look back with fond memories of the people who have cared for and supported me throughout my life and of the life i have made for myself and
and my family.
I appreciate that not everyone has the same black and white view of life and family ties are different for us all.
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Old Aug 4th 2008, 9:20 am
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Default Re: Worries about the future

We left in May 05 and initially said we would not go back for 5 years, we always said to my folks who are not in good health and in their 70s that we would see them again one day, had to pull out the stops to get back for the big family Christmas this year,but we have done it, and for 3 of us return its about $8.5k a deposit for a mortgage in NZ.

We have said that we will not fly back to put someone in the ground, i would rather go back and see folk alive, you will realise how far NZ is away from UK and the rest of the world and how hard it is to get back asap and $$.

You cannot predict the future and yes its a worry, but what with all the technology around things are easier all round, my folk said " go live your dream, Dont not do it because they are getting old" but when the s*** hits the fan who knows what you'll do.

We have all been given the opportunity to live in a different country and enjoy what NZ has to offer, see and do different things and become one of those who have done it, dont be a " we were going to do that " because you'll regret it.


Nige Dunedin May 05
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Old Aug 4th 2008, 9:39 am
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Default Re: Worries about the future

Hi Helen

This is really a question only you can answer, but if it helps I will share my story.

My brother died at the age of 32 (passenger in a car, raining heavy and the police think the car hit a stone in the road and lost it's tread due to the water, no speeding involved), Michael was in NZ and I was in the UK. Initally I was devastated that I hadn't seen him for a few years but someone who wasn't a particularly close friend said something very comforting and it was simply 'Just because you don't see someone doesn't mean you don't love them' and it's true.

Michael was at the peak of his life, had just landed a 'plum' job travelling around Australia as a Dancer. He was happy with his life and that also gives me comfort.

The relationship you have developed with your friends and family will remain, the love you share you continue to share.

As painful as the death of a loved one is you do deal with it and you do survive, I don't feel the pain would have been any less if Michael was to have passed away in the UK.

You can't live your life for others regardless of how much you love them and if they love you in return they will understand.

Pauline
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Old Aug 5th 2008, 11:07 am
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Default Re: Worries about the future

Thanks so much everyone who has replied to this thread. Some really emotional stories here which brought me to tears as I was reading them. Ultimately, though, I think you are all right - it is the right thing to do to just go for it. Life is short, afterall. I know my parents would HATE to think we stayed here because we were worried about what may happen to them in the future.

Thanks again everyone.

Helen
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Old Aug 5th 2008, 11:42 am
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Default Re: Worries about the future

Hi
When we first visited NZ, we came back determined to emigrate but within a month of our return my dad was diagnosed with cancer and died 6 months later...at the time I felt I could never leave my family and NZ was off the cards. That was 5 years ago, I now have two small children of my own and want what is best for them and our young family. So we're leaving for NZ next month to make the most of everything it can offer us and we have the support of my mum and the rest of our family.

I think it's only natural to worry about what you may do or how you may feel in the event that something happens to your family when you are so far away. It's a sign of how much you care about them and how important they are to you.

My mum has told me she has the same worries for us when we will be in NZ, in that if anything happened to us, she would be so far away and unable to help, her concerns are that we will be on our own in times of need.

The only way we have dealt with the concerns associated with this is to take steps that give us piece of mind that we would not be powerless or without choices if something happened. So we have looked into things like repatriation insurance for example, which will help us get to one another if necessary.

Good luck with all your plans - Life is short and we should aim to live our dreams - if our dreams change we can always change course too...
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Old Aug 6th 2008, 8:55 pm
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Default Re: Worries about the future

Thanks Scotty D

I really appreciate your advice.

Helen
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