mudblood21

that is SO sad. I have followed your path to NZ and been impressed with how you have moved so quickly and achieved so much.
Like you say, you are still in limbo - all the work and stress but few of the benefits.
I hope things level out for you and that you get the reward for all your efforts. Then, if you do decide to come back, then at least you won't regret not trying your dreams.

I am not able to go over to NZ yet. I would really like to know:-
what advantages did you think that moving would give you?
and
what did you a)get and b)not get?

I was relying on the power of skype and facebook to make me feel 'with' my buds. have you tried these, and how have they helped/failed you?

sorry if you think i am being mercenary, asking you these questions, but you are in a highly specified position right now!

thanks
Jax

this charming man

too much talk of the real meaning of Christmas has left me giddy, oops nobody did mention it

bourbon-biscuit

"the real meaning of Christmas" is whatever it means to you. I'm not religious, therefore I don't believe in the Christmas story but I celebrate Christmas as a family and cultural traditional festival.

hjmilligan

When we had Christmas in the UK it was always the big family affair 20+ for Christmas dinner,drinking,playing games the whole family joined in. Spending Christmas with your family is my ideal Christmas.

So no i will never get used to Christmas in NZ but it wont stop me enjoying it with the family and friends i got here.

Helen
x

pixi-dust

We had an amazing christmas day with all our closest friends, it was just beautiful, but there was definitely a bit of me hankering after a cosy snowy one with family.
I know that sounds terribly ungrateful, but if I could just fly back for the day I would!!

This is our 5th Christmas here and even though I put up the tree I have yet to feel that tingly excitement of a good old freezing cold Christmas!

lapsed kiwi

My wife and I were just discussing this on Christmas Day - as we sat under a Pohutukawa tree on a deserted beach, enjoying a fantastic picnic after a swim in the sea with our kids. Neither of us could see the point or the attraction of the overblown consumption and consumerism of the UK Christmas. But then, neither of us have big close families so that has never been a big thing for us.

I suppose it's each to his own. But the only way you have a chance of being a successful migrant is to make the best of what you have here, not pine for what you had there

pixi-dust

I think on the whole you are right. However this was just about getting used to a nz style christmas. It's one or 2 days, not a whole year. It's perhaps the only time I do think about what things were like in Scotland! Being a successful migrant doesn't mean you cant miss friends and family at special times, or whenever really. We're only human

thedtb - I didn't read all this thread so I originally didn't read your post properly. Sorry. I'm sorry you're not happy bunnies just now. You've gone through some huge changes at what can often be a very stressful time of year, you wouldn't be normal ( !) if you didn't feel totally displaced just now. I hope things improve once you get a bit more settled and the jobs sorted xx

thedtb

Hmmm... that's actually quite difficult to answer right now because without our stuff here and without a long term base (we're moving again on Jan 23rd) and with the wife's job not formally started yet it doesn't feel like we're actually getting much right now.

That being said, the biggest thing that I personally wanted to get out of moving to New Zealand was to be able to spend far more time with my two boys... something that I've not done THAT much of previously due to setting up and running my own business since Feb 2004 and the boys arriving since that time.

The move to NZ was to allow myself and the wife to do a bit of a swap of roles whereby she'd go off to work full time and I'd get to be a stay-at-home Dad for a while. The plan was that the UK income I will continue to earn from my business over there would, for the main part, support us whilst the wife's income would enable us to get out and enjoy NZ through far more of an "outdoor" lifestyle than we had back in the UK.

However the current state of play is that it's my income paying for everything the UK (the house hasn't sold) and everything here in NZ too and without the wife's income I'm only just about managing to keep our heads above the water - so to speak. Subsequently, we're here in NZ but not currently able to afford to do very much at all... sure we're spending loads of time at the park and on walks and going Geocaching and so on, but lots of the things we really want to do cost money.

There is light at the end of the tunnel though... she'll be earning "proper" soon, the container is due to land this coming month, our eldest will start school in March... things are falling in to place... it's just a matter of time and then we will start (hopefully) to get the things we wanted.

In the meantime, limbo is very much the state of play.

Yes by all means they help. One, both or all of us are on Skype and/or facebook every single day... they're fantastic for keeping in touch and I don't know how we'd go on without them. Although, with feeling the way we have been doing over Christmas, the wife has got upset after speaking with people via Skype... so there is a small part of me that wonders if it'd actually be 'easier' without them?

I don't think you're being mercenary at all and am happy to field any questions about our experiences.

elmuzzerino

I have been here 7 years and went home to Scotland for the last 2 Christmas's and Hogmanay.

I love NZ but this time of year really does bore me to tears.

Nothing beats the feeling of being in the pub on a cold day with your mates or sitting around the dinner table with snow falling outside then having a good old fashioned snowball fight before warming yourself by the fire afterwards.

I always like the thought of Christmas and New Year being that festive island in a long winter. But NZ winter is just.....long.

NZ Summer Christmas was a novelty at first, but now its just a little depressing. I can't wait until January 3rd or so, then I can just enjoy summer without thinking about the festive season that was, or wasn't.

have a great New Year nonetheless!

<link snipped>

mudblood21

HEY Elmerzerrio

wow- your UK Christmases were really traditional! We had a good time, but nothing like that - no fire- we have central heating- there was snow on the ground but none actually fell.

I think this was our best Christmas ever, probably because we knew we wouldn't be together again for another Christmas for who knows how long - if ever!

I do enjoy my local pub though, and if i am lucky enough to get over to NZ, that is the one thing i know i will miss!

maybe what is needed is an expats christmas club- folks could get together and hire a room. You would only see each other once a year so it would be just like family!

Is there any snow in the south of NZ that you could visit for the holiday if you need a snow fix?

mudblood21

Hi Thedtb

thanks for your helpful reply, and for offering to answer my questions... very kind of you considering all that you have on at the moment.

Well, you confirm my suspicions that the skype etc could be a double edged sword.

I am hoping that the recent unhappiness is due to being so amazingly unsettled - like you said it is not only the country, but your roles within the home too. That's quite a hit you are taking, and trying to make everything lovely and calm for the boys at the same time- not anyone's idea of an easy time. a role swap alone would unsettle most families.

It seems that the solutions to all your most dominant challenges are in the pipeline, and that you will be slowly stepping out of limbo. I hope 2010 turns out better than you thought! Next Christmas is going to take some planning, though- no idea what the best way to deal with that one would be- I have been advised not to return to the UK for at least 2 years- but so many on this website have experienced problems with Christmas that it is clear that it is a problem that lots of expats go through.

If i make it over to NZ i will be planning Christmas REALLY carefully. When my husband died, Christmas was pretty awful, so the second year we went away - the logic being that if we went somewhere that he would not normally be, then he would be less 'missing'- if you can figure out what I mean. We went to Rome. We had never been there before, so hubby didn't have a place to be missing from- no empty chair. We still missed him, but it really helped, none of us had anywhere near as much trouble, (and the following Christmas at home we did.) I will have to think of something - my eldest will be in the UK at uni - we won't be able to afford lots of travel so it might be that he does not make it over for Christmas.

It is all stuff that I need to know and be ready for! forewarned is forearmed!

thedtb

Famous last words? Humble pie?

Sure' it's not going to be "the same", but it will be what we make it.

We're actually planning to go camping over the festive period (not christmas day itself) with some friends.

We're actually looking forward to Christmas this year!

bourbon-biscuit

Well done guys, it takes time. Wishing you lovely Christmas plans

Charismatic

We should have a second Christmas in the middle of our winter.

Expat Kiwi

A lot of people do have Christmas in July, it makes for a nice treat half way through the year. We save crackers from December and have a slap up meal with all the trimmings, Christmas pud and table presents.

We don't do the tree thing though

Our Christmas day is usually beach in the morning til it gets too hot and then back home for a barbie which takes most of the rest of the day.